Another cut, another murder paid for. She was guilty of crimes that had never been vengeanced and she deserved this. The red liquid streaming out of her thigh satisfied her thirst for revenge against herself for the moment, though it wouldn't last. A few hours later she would be back in the bathroom again, the blade of the razor glinting in the sunlight that slipped between the shutters.
She wrapped the bandage around her leg, pressing harder than she needed to and then almost wincing from the pain. Her stomach roiled while she reminded herself who she had worked for and why she deserved this.
"Nat?" A knock at the door. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Laura. I'll be out in a moment."
"Are you sure? You've been in there awhile."
As she finished pulling up her pants she opened the door and plastered a smile to her face. "I'm fine. Just some minor stomach trouble."
"Well, do you need anything? Some Benadryl maybe?"
"No thank you, Laura. I'll be fine, really." She patted her friend's shoulder, "You need to stop worrying so much. Do you need any help with dinner?"
"Not if you're sick." The worried look on her face wouldn't leave. "Go lie down, Natasha."
"Okay, okay, I'll do that." She laughed, trying to make Laura smile. If Laura would stop worrying about her she would be safer. There would be no chance of her secret coming out.
When she woke up from her restless sleep it was dark outside. The house was quiet and she could hear the quiet breathing of the other occupants and the humming of machines. It scared her, the quiet. She had no way to distract herself from any thought that wanted to enter her head.
She flicked on the light and picked up the book resting on the night table. It was Cooper's book. She opened it to the first page and began reading.
This is the bright candlelit room where the life-timers are stored...this is the owner of the room, stalking through it with a preoccupied air. His name is Death.
She continued reading past the description of Death's house, past Albert's greasy eggs, to where the princess was killed, to where the boy was forgiven by the person who brings an end to everything, to where everyone went to live happily ever after.
She wondered then, if she had lived on that world, where everything was topsy-turvy and elephants rode on giant turtles through the sky, she wondered, if she had lived on that world would she have been able to forgive herself? Would Death have forgiven her? Could she have lived happily ever after? She would never know.
She could hear the front door bang as Clint brought in more firewood and the sound of children's running feet. She could hear Laura laugh and the sound of pots falling as Lila tried to grab one from the bottom. So she got up and pulled on new clothes and entered the kitchen where she would be happy until someone reminded her of what she had done.