Len Kagamine has a crush on Miku Hatsune, although he likes to believe it's a not-so-obvious crush. He prides himself for loving from afar all these years (since sixth grade ever since she offered him a seat next to her on the field trip instead of letting him sit on the seat Kaito had thrown up thank you, Idiot) and that absolutely no one knows about his love for Miku Hatsune. Except his sister, his mom, Kaito, Neru, and maybe, possibly the entire student body.

Now its high school and Miku Hatsune is still popular, is still sweet, and is still nice. She's everything that anyone could ever want.

And, so, Len Kagamine decides it's high time he confesses his undying love for her. And who else to go to for love advice than Neru Akita?

His sister, Rin Kagamine, claims that Neru is Satan reincarnated. Len thinks his sister is just being silly. Sure, Neru can be strangely devoted at times, but Len just plays it off as determination.

"Girls love it when you throw things at their faces," Neru advises sagely, sitting cross-legged on the ground even though there's a chair right beside her. Students passing by gave a strange look before looking away because, hey, that's Neru Akita. "Especially flowers. Especially thorns. Especially roses. Especially roses with thorns."

"That's a great idea," Len replies in awe, his eyes wide as he furiously jots down these ideas on a piece of crumpled paper. Then he pauses. "Won't the thorns hurt her face?"

Neru eyes him weirdly. "Oh, Len, poor, sweet Len," she coos as she strokes his arm affectionately. Len tries to awkwardly shuffle away from her touch. Unlike Neru, he's sitting in a chair like they're supposed to be used. With his stomach on the seat and arms and legs spread wide out in front and behind him. "Thorns can only hurt people who are mortal. You were telling me Miku is like a goddess, right?" Len nods his head furiously. "There you go. Goddesses are invincible. Immortal. As in; living forever and never becoming a wrinkly prune. Sweetheart, sometimes you can be such a blonde."

So the next day, Len approaches Miku with a rose in hand, gripping it tightly. It doesn't even bother him that his hand is bleeding manically, but it seems to bother the rest of the student body. Len can't fathom a reason why. It's just a little blood. A teacher sternly tells him to go to the nurse's office to get it patched up but Len continues to drift down the school hallways thoughtfully like some ghostly student avenging his love. The teacher decides to shove off after the creepy grin he gives her.

"Miku," he says, and the teal-haired beauty turns to look at him, blinking curiously. This is it. The moment. The mile stone in his life. The time has come. Time to confess his love and prepare to spend his life in the loving and unwrinkly prune-like arms of Miku Hatsune. Almost in a dream-like state, he raises his hand to throw the rose. "I really reallyreallyreallyreeeeallly—"

"Whoa, bro!" a voice yells and the bloody rose is plucked from his hand by his dumb friend, Kaito Shion. He's looking a little frazzled, but otherwise happy. Like he always is. And stupid. Don't forget stupid. "Dude, this is bloody, dude. Don't you think you can actually, like, hurt someone with this whilst confessing your very obvious crush for Miku Hatsune, the girl with the teal hair that's in ponytails, which by the way was so last year, I mean, c'mon, and is staring at us with wide eyes and an actually-not-very-attractive gaping mouth with everyone listening, dude?"

Len frowns and takes the rose back, ignoring the fact that his blood is mixing with Kaito's. Blood brothers. They are blood brothers. Len weeps silently on the inside for having an idiot as a brother. "But she's a goddess," he explains patiently, relaying the information from Neru to the Idiot. "And goddesses don't get hurt. Therefore, my love will be very much conveyed if I throw this bloody rose at her face—"

"I don't think Miku is a goddess, dude," Idiot replies back solemnly as he pats his equally bloody hand on his shoulder. "Goddesses don't go to school, I think, dude. They prance around in heaven with, like, harps and stuff, dude. I think. Dude."

Suddenly everything clicks into Len's mind and he blinks in surprise. It's like a whole new world. He feels the need to, maybe, belt out the chorus for a Disney Movie but decides the time isn't right. "I think you're right," he says slowly. "But how would you explain her beauty?"

"Hormones, dude. You gotta love 'em."

"I think you're right," he repeats, and Kaito and he give each other a hug full of understanding and companionship. When he pulls back, he sees tears in Kaito's eyes and comes to the understanding that they are in his to. Because Kaito is literally standing over him and weeping buckets and buckets of tears that fall from his eyes, down to his blonde hair, and, unfortunately, into his own eyes. Jesus Christ, not only are we blood brothers we're tear brothers oh god help me.

Tall people are stupid.

He turns back to Miku sheepishly. "Sorry about that. Continue on with your day. Have a nice day!" and he and Kaito leave arm in arm.

"Your plan didn't work," he informs Neru the next day, back in their usual spot in the library. This time, he's sitting cross-legged in his chair, whilst Neru is performing yoga on the ground. "It wasn't an exactly brilliant plan, to be honest."

"What?" Neru exclaims as she sits up abruptly from her neck-bending, gravity-defying, back-breaking yoga move. She hits her forehead on the table's ledge, but it doesn't phase her. Not even when the blood trickles into a bloody pool around her. Len admires her endurance. "What do you mean it didn't work? As in she said 'no' to you or, like, did you and Kaito have another bromance momemnt?"

"Well..."

"Len," she groans, repeatedly banging her forehead against the ledge now like there's no tomorrow. "That. Wasn't. Supposed. To. Have. Happened. You were supposed to have thrown the flower at her face and she would've run out of that room screaming 'Bloody murderer!' and you would've come to me and I would've consoled you and then I would've-"

She passes out from mysterious blood loss.

a/n: well dudes. i'm back. i ain't dead. yey. check out my tumblr for proof that i ain't dead ;D : .com