Hello! RinRan here...and I do not own Kingdom Hearts I & II or Katamari Damacy! Both are already heavily crack-induced, so there's no need to send them both to the emergency room. XD
Author's note: Just like many of ya'll out there, I wrote this fanfic out of fantasy and being high (not literally though, in my case). This idea came from my love of both games and a few inspirational pictures out of Photobucket. This is all in good fun, so don't go suing people (especially me) for...whatever reason you sue people for.
I would like to thank SambiH2Opolo for being my editor. And friend. And fellow anime fanatic. Woot!
Ooookay, I'm done yapping. Enjoy the fic. XP
Day One
In the beginning, the Great Cosmos-if you must call it that-was an empty place. It was devoid of light. It was devoid of people (except for a few exceptional few). Actually, it was devoid of pretty much everything, except for the said exceptional few.
There were thirteen of them, and while many have gone to seek their fortune or to do some random shit, only two remain as a group.
So, technically...there were two of them.
The leader of the ex-thirteen-turned-two-group-otherwise-known-as-an-organization-but-can-no-longer-be-called-that-since-there-are-barely-any-members was a dark fellow, physically and emotionally. You see, he had lost his heart literally, and if he wasn't such a pompous turd one might have mistaken him for being the emo of all emos.
The leader was and still is formally known to many, enemies and acquaintances, as the Superior.
Now, the Superior has done some number of stupid shit when he was young, thus leading to the inevitable loss of his heart to the darkness, which, eventually, lead to him turning emo and giving passionate speeches about hearts. When the end was almost realized one day in the bathroom, while during a daily shave, the Superior beheld a vision of light.
Actually the light was from the bulbs atop the mirror, but to an emo at the end of his wits, it was revelation.
The Superior was overcome with so much non-existent emotion that he drew the razor blade away from his wrists and quickly dressed, then teleported to his Meeting Room, which was coincidentally non-existent. With much energy, he hastily wrote a letter, handed it to one of the many Dusks that still hung around his castle-which was also non-existent-and then threw the Dusk into a recently summoned portal. And he waited.
And waited.
And waited.
He waited, strummed his fingers on the armrest of his chair, and then waited some more. Finally, when he was just about tired of waiting and was about ready to leave, a portal formed across the room from him. From it stepped out another figure clad in the same black leather fashion that the Superior had always wore. Only, there were two distinct differences:
One, this newcomer was white, with blonde hair and blue eyes.
Two, he was considerably short.
"NUMBER 13!" the Superior's voice boomed, echoing off the whitewash walls of the non-existent room. "YOU ARE LATE!"
Number 13 crossed his arms. "Forgive my tardiness, Superior. I was too busy trying to decode the message I received before realizing it was your hand-writing. Care to explain, sir?" he solemnly responded. The Superior hated when Number 13 did that; it makes the boy sound more intelligent than him.
A sigh escaped the Superior's lips. Amber eyes glared at blue ones for a few moments. "You...did not...read the memo, Number 13?"
"How can I, sir?" was the boy's tart reply, as he thrust the note under the well-cut nose of the Superior. The Superior took it and was about to open his mouth to speak, but then quickly shut it. A quizzical glance met a serious stare, and he cleared his throat. Now that he actually looked at his own note, he couldn't make head or ass out of the writing.
"My apologies, Number 13," he said, receiving a silent nod from the boy. "Very well, it seems that I must repeat my thoughts verbally.
As you can see, this place we are in...it is cold and dreary. It is dark and miserable. It is tiresome and-"
"In other words, boring as hell?"
"Do not interrupt me, Number 13!" The boy only shrugged. "Now, I was thinking...what if we were to, shall I say...brighten up the place? Give it a much more pleasant vibe. Also it will make up for the horrible, inevitable ends that SquareEnix had put us through."
Number 13 blinked. "You mean our dea-"
"SHH! Don't say that word. It's such an appalling word."
Number 13 blinked again, and frowned. "But I don't understand, sir. If we really did you-know-what, or in my case, merged with myself...how is it that we are standing here, as we did back then?"
"Perhaps this is a sign that God wishes for us to repent for our terrible mistake of extracting hearts for our own selfish reasons." The Superior mused, rubbing his chin while his eyes narrowed out of impulse. Number 13 hated when he did that, for it reminded him of a pedophile. A certain red haired, pyrokinetic maniacal pedophile...
"Number 13, you are making such a strange face..."
"Sorry, sir."
"Do you have something against...God, Number 13?"
Is there even such a person? I didn't even no we had a religion! "No, sir. Please, continue?"
"As I was saying...the Great Cosmos-if we must call it that-is in need of light, as well as we ourselves do. And that, my young Key-bearer, is what we are going to give it. My dear Number 13...WE ARE GOING TO CREATE STARS!!!"
Silence.
"...Pardon me?"
"We are going to do the Great Cosmos a favor, Number 13. It needs more stars, more beauty-"
"But sir, there are many worlds out there already. And if I do recall, planets are in a way stars."
"...Well, it will at least give us something to do, no?"
Number 13, the Key of Destiny, would have screamed in frustration and commit suicide at this point if he was OOC. However, he didn't, and merely shrugged off the lame-excuse-for-an-explanation. He wondered why he hadn't left with the rest of his fellow members. Oh, right-the red-haired, pyrokinetic maniacal pedophile...
The Superior, Number One, sensed that he was losing Number 13. He quickly coughed and regained his posture, in case he had lost it during the speech and had failed to notice.
"This is our mission: we are to collect as many heart-related objects in order for a star to be born! We will roll them all into a ball...and this shall be our weapon of renewal!" The Superior dramatically took out...a ball-shaped thing from thin air, and tossed it to Number 13, who caught it warily. It did not make him better to find that it was somewhat sticky on the surface; not in an unpleasant way as to leave your fingers feeling sticky after touching it, but it was sticky none the less.
"...It's quite small, sir." Number 13 said, frowning.
"Indeed it is, Key-bearer."
"This is to roll up many, countless objects associating with hearts...and turn into a star?"
"It IS quite sticky, Number 13."
"...How...fun."
The Superior smiled; his eyes glinted with renewed ambition. "It will be..." he purred, sending shivers down the leather-clad back of Number 13.
Number 13 played with the ball, and performed moves there were unknown to him, such as 'a pump fake' and 'a screw shot'. The ball never left his hand, unless-to his newfound amusement-he wanted to.
"So, how are we to carry this out?" he asked the older man, after chucking the ball into his face. The Superior rubbed his sore face gently.
"'We', Number 13? No, it is YOU who is to carry this out. No, do not give me that 'WTF' look. It is only natural for one of lower rank to do, shall I say, the dirty work? And you, who are after all Number 13, are the lowest of the low. Also consider it punishment for damaging my dark, handsome complexions."
Number 13 sighed. This is going too far... "Sir, I believe I must voice against this. This would practically be child labor."
"I am sorry, but it cannot be child labor, because for it to be 'child' you'll have to be a child; but YOU, Number 13, are a TEENAGER."
"But I'm still under eightee-"
"I could always call him back."
"...When do I begin, Superior?" Number 13 bowed his head glumly. The older man smirked at this, having known this weakness for a while, but was merely waiting for the right time to exploit it.
"You will begin...NOW!" He chuckled at the boy's sudden jump to his feet. "Do not worry-this is merely a trial run, so that you may feel familiar with this-"
"What IS it?"
"Quiet, Number 13, I was just about to explain. It is...Hmm...It is known as...what was it? Oh yes-I remember!" The Superior tucked away a note into the coat of his pocket. This disturbed Number 13 greatly, adding more pressure to his already build up stress-he had not seen the Superior took out a piece of paper at all during the talk.
"Number 13? Are you sure you are all right?"
"...Yes, sir. Please, continue?"
"Right. This, my young Key-bearer, will be your new weapon and companion during this long, fun-filled mission. This...is a Katamari!"
Number 13 shook his head in disbelief. "My new...weapon?! But...my Keyblade! What do I do with...with...this, make the enemies irritated by sticking it on to them?!? IT'S TINY!!!" He yelled angrily, but still retaining his composure.
"The Keyblade will be of no use to you in this mission. It is simply not sticky enough to hold and contain the items," The Superior stated matter-o'-factly. "But if it makes you comfortable..." Out of nowhere, another Katamari formed, this time dropping into Number 13's free hand. It was of equal size and stickiness. As expected, the Superior received a questioning look from the boy. "I see you are confused. It's really quite simple; you are used to having TWO Keyblades. By having two Katamari, that feeling of loss should be made up for."
"I thank you for your...thoughtfulness?" the boy answered, still befuddled. However, the Superior took no notice of this and merely waved it off as if it were gratitude-which, it wasn't.
"Excellent, Number 13. Now, get some rest-you will begin training tomorrow."
The boy bowed, and disappeared into a portal behind him-not before shooting a murderous glare to his Superior. Fortunately for him, the said Superior did not see, as he had at that exact moment glanced up at the ceiling, smiling.
"...Perhaps...Kingdom Hearts may be resurrected again. Perhaps this Katamari will be the answer-the key to unlocking the secrets of it. Perhaps we can actually have chicken instead of beef." The Superior raised an eyebrow at his last remark. Lately, ever since he had discover the magical, sticky ball, he has been saying a lot of OOC things and acting OOC-like that contrast with his emo Superior personality, just as his hair and skin tone was. He was also breaking the fourth wall quite often.
Number 13, on the other hand, had not notice his changes. Despite several time about to go OOC without realizing and breaking the fourth wall occasionally, he remained quite indifferent. Before he slipped into bed, he placed the two Katamaris next to him on the night stand, and turned off the light.
And so ends...DAY ONE.
Remember, reviews are loved! It makes the world a better place-in my mind. XD