STAR WARS WTF FANFICTION

BY A BORED INSANE salvo90

Commander cody stood by as he watched a cat being raped by a dog. it made shrill cries of rape-surprise. as the dog humped away madly and without thought. cody continued to be drawn by the sick display of rape culture. only to space out and think about krispy kreme donuts.

suddenly kenobi came out of butt fucking nowhere and pressed his finger between cody's lower armored ass cheeks. "Tag, you are it." he then pranced with all the powers of faggotry. cody turned and gave chased, tackling his jedi general, and begin to poke his face repeatedly til he left bruises. the dog and cat stopped their random unholy fuckage to watch the jedi and clone, poke each other.

ahsoka popped from the ground and pointed at them, "STOP POKING EACH OTHER AND HELP ME FIND MASTER ANAKIN!" they stopped and stood hunched, fingers wiggling "skywalker?!" cody shouted with mild concern. "what has happen to that little shit stain?!" obiwan nodded rapidly. his brain rattling like a can of spray paint. "indeed, what has happen to that padawan of mine who would surely kill me if not have sexual and confusion frustrations towards me?" ahsoka pointed skyward and said "i caught him making the nasties with Padmé Amidala!" *cody gasped. "oh shit!" he turn to his master. "we must stop this unholy union and we must make him as gay and as fruity as us!"

kenobi nodded and pulled out a purple dildo. "not to worry my clone friend! i shall turn him as gay as gayness cums!" cody laughed like butthead. "you said cum." kenobi then flew away, into the sky as the toy dick flip and flopped around in the air.

cody then stared at ahsoka and said, "i smell rex's scrotum on your chin! you harlot!" he walked over to her and slapped her down to the dirt. -ahsoka bounced back, and kicked cody in the balls, then turned into a a giant pussy with wings and flew off as well. -cody got a boner from the kick.

else where, anakin was in Padmé's bed room, making sweet jedi love to his secret wife, making racoon noises and padame finding it extremely hot. it was then, ben kenobi crashed through the window, and cried out. "HAULT! IN THE NAME OF THE JEDI!" anakin turned over his shoulder. "fuck off, gaylord, can't ya see ah'ma producing children the way god intended?" kenobi cried out, with arms spread. "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *he then tossed the dick toy and went up skywalkers ass, but he ignored with such stubborness, then it actually made him orgasm in his wife, and so, luke and leia was created. kenobi cried out again. "DDDAAAAAAMMMNNNIIITTTT!"

but it was too late. for Padmé was suddenly pregnant with a big fucking belly. and like a bitch, would drag her tits for nine months, like the bitch she is. suddenly darth sidious came out of kenobi's ass and stabbing him in the genital's with a spork. kenobi then died.

mace windU suddenly leap through that broken window and sliced sidious's head off. "take that, ya prune crackah!" but suddenly he was shot many times in the chest, and once in the ass which went through his donkey dick. boba fett stood all bad ass and shit. "and thats for killing my father, ya damn jedi nigro." -akankin gasped. "DATS' RACIST!" boba fett shot his peener, and he toppled over and died like a girl. "shut up white boy. i'm new Zealand, i can say whatever the fuck i want cause i'm the mother fucking fett!" he grab Padmé and removed his helmet to reveal his face as handsome as his father,because he was his father. only he had black flowing locks of hair. Padmé fell in love and kissed him, he gave her a slap. then kissed her back, he then grab her ass. lifted her up, and turn on his jetpack, and like a bad ass, flew the fuck out of there where he took her as his bitch, and raised luke and leia to be badasses, and then they all had krispy kreme donuts.

THE END.