Jess's Thoughts
Thought by Jess
Conjured by Jess
Felt by Jess
Experienced by Jess
Lived by Jess
Burdened by Jess
My life. Well, my life is… my life is abnormal. I am my own individual. I fly solo. I am not cared for. I am not watched. I am not censored. I am Jess. Can I tell myself I am me? I could. But I wouldn't like it.
Can I keep a secret to myself? I could, but I would scream my secret in my mind, inviting more of my thoughts and images to listen to it. I had one. Okay, I do.
Am I abnormal? Yes. I am, and will continue to be… abnormal.
Am I lonely? I would tell myself no. I have the fair Rory. But if I told my self no, well...
I would be lying.
Do I love Rory? I have an undying and utterly large affection for Rory.
Do I disserve Rory? No.
Am I critical? Of myself, yes.
Am I lost? Very.
Am I a sadist? Not in the least.
Am I a hypochondriac? Well Jess, does it count if hypochondriadic thoughts are revolved around the only person I care for? Yes. Then I am.
Am I a pessimist? I don't think so.
Am I a pyromaniac? Shamefully admitting it, yes.
Am I an ass? I can't help the only way I know how to act.
Am I a lunatic? To a degree.
Why am I such a downer? Can't I even remember what my life was like before I came to Stars Hollow.
What am I going to do about myself? Hopefully try to get through the next day.
Am I suicidal? I think about it, yes. Am I? I don't quite know.
Why am I Crying right know? Because no one is watching.
Why do I hate my mom? She gave birth to me.
Why do I hate my dad? I don't choose to think of him.
Am I a criminal? Yes.
Am I a druggie? That's the one thing I am strongly against.
Why do I hide? I shouldn't even be seen.
Am I hated? I know it for a fact.
Am I in love. Shut up. Am I in love? Shut up. AM I IN LOVE? Okay, yes! I am.
With who? Rory.
How did I let this happen? I messed up.
Am I going to die? Eventually. Maybe sooner.
Am I alive? Not even close.
Am I a looser? Yes.
Does Rory love me? I sure hope not.
Why? She'd be better off.
Would I die for Rory? Of course.
Should I die for Rory? Yes.
Why aren't I dead? Shitty timing.
Why do I ask myself these questions? I am Jess, and I choose to. Its my way of coping. With myself. It's the one way I stay sane. The only way to be alive. If at all.
I know. I am depressed. Deal with it. If you cant cope? well that sucks for you. If you can? Your strong. Review. Im not going to beg. For i write for pleasure. My stories are usualy lighter. Disclaimer: i own nothing but the thoughts of Jess.