Lorelai woke with a pit of sadness in her stomach.
It was the kind you had after you knew you had made the biggest mistake
of your life, but you couldn't quite remember what you had done. But
she knew she had done something, and it was bad. It did not take her
long to recall exactly what it was either. Gigi came running into the
room and Lorelai remembered everything clearly. How could she have done
that? Sure she was pissed at Luke. And rightly so. But Chris, in all
the time she had known him, had never made a situation better. And this
time was no different. The pit in her stomach just continued to grow
upon rememberence of her enormous mistake. That's all this was. She
wasn't in love with Christopher. Like she told the psychologist the
night before, Luke was the only man she had ever really loved. Really
loves. Present tense. And if Luke hadn't ruined it before. Lorelai
certatintly had now. Luke trusted her around Christopher. Or at least
he had pretened to, for Rory's sake. Lorelai had ruined all remote
chances that she could have a life with Luke that involved a normal
relationship with Christopher on the side. Luke would never trust
Christopher again. He would never even trust her again. The irony made
Lorelai sick. She had finally found the man of her dreams, and did the
one thing he wouldn't forgive her for. She had lost him for good, but
she was sitting here thinking about how he wouldn't trust her again. As
if she had a chance. Rory was right once again, when wasn't Rory right?
Letting Chris back into her life was a mistake. When upset, Lorelai
wasn't strong enough to stay away. Why couldn't she have stayed with
Rory last night? Sookie? Anyone that didn't have the male anatomy.
Lorelai was not patient, anyone who even remotely knew her, knew that.
But sleeping with Christopher didn't solve anything. The pain was still
there, and Luke still wasn't. Only now Christopher was, and she didn't
know how to deal with that.
Chris came back to bed and casually swung his arm over Lorelai. It made
her feel like she needed to puke. How could a gesture that made her
swoon when done by Luke, make her feel the need to sprint to the
bathroom when done by Christopher. She asked herself, but she already
knew the answer. She loved Luke. She wondered if Chris knew that. He
must know that, she didn't become untorn over just any man. Well that
might not be entirely true, but not this unraveled. Normally she could
at least pretend everything was fine. But this time, she wasn't even up
to pretending. And she wasn't in the mood for watching out for others
feelings either. She carefully unwrapped herself from Chris' blankets
and got dressed.
"Lorelai, What are you doing"
"I'm leaving. I should have never come. I can't do this Chris. Can't. That's just it"
"I thought it was for real this time"
"Chris,
Are we still in junior high? There is no for real this time. It's all
real. It's all life. But that just shows how naive you are. I'm in love
with Luke, I've been in love with Luke. I have a wedding dress hanging
in my closet at home. I try it on regularly. I'm not going to be ready
to fall in love again for a long long time. If ever. And it wont be
with you. That ship has sailed. And a few times too many. I don't mean
to be harsh. But that's life-and there is no more use pretending it's
any different. This was a mistake. I'm more emotional than I've ever
been, so I got in bed. Apparentally, I still think i'm in high school
too"
And with that Lorelai
walked out of Chris' appartment. She didn't know it then, but it was
the last time she ever would. And if she did know it, she would have
been thankful. Because if things were still a mess with Luke, at least
things were cleaned up with Christopher.
A/N: Sorry This chapter is kind of short, but I just wanted to get the begining set up. I have an awful lot of glueing to do in upcoming chapters, if you catch my drift. I am discusted by the current state of the Gilmore's affairs and I intend to at least fix them in my own happy-little-fanfiction-reality. Sorry to any Lorelai/Chris shippers if this chapter was a little harsh to Chris. That's just the way it is in my javajunkie world. But, at times I do actually like Chris, just not with Lorelai. Thanks for reading, click the pretty little review button please. I'll be forever grateful.