"Barney, why are you wearing a Santa suit?" Ted asked as he opened the door to the apartment that he shared with Robin.
"Elf suit up, Mosby! We're going to a Christmas party!" Barney said, tossing a costume at his friend.
"That still doesn't answer the question of why you're wearing a Santa suit," Ted pointed out.
"Because there's nothing that a drunk girl at a party likes more than wriggling around in Santa's lap whispering what they want for Christmas," Barney said with a grin. "And there's nothing that a naughty girl won't due to get moved to the nice list, if you know what I mean. Up high!"
Ted sighed, and high-fived the other man's outreached arm. He knew that Barney wouldn't give up unless he did, so this was just the easier way out.
"And I need you, as my wingman, to wear an elf costume so that I'm not the only one in a costume," Barney said. "If I was, that would just look stupid."
"Yeah, that would look stupid," Ted said sarcastically, before protesting, "I'm not wearing this ridiculous costume. And I'm not hanging out with you if you wear that one."
"But Ted, it's Christmas," Barney whined, then began to sing, "All I want for Christmas is a slutty girl, a slutty girl, a slutty girl!"
"It's Christmas Eve," Ted corrected. "And lets make a bet that decides what we wear to the party."
"I'm listening," Barney stated.
"If you can go for an hour without making any jokes or laughing, then we goes as Santa and an elf," Ted said. "But if you can't, then I get to decide what we're wearing."
"Challenge accepted!" Barney said over-dramatically.
"Robin, get out here, you're the commissioner of this bet!" Ted shouted.
"Ooh, slap bet?" Robin asked, walking out.
"No," Ted said and explained their bet to her.
"Alright, I don't have anything better to do," Robin said, then looked down at the time on her phone. "The bet starts... now."
Ted ran into his room, then came back a few seconds later wearing his infamous red cowboy boots.
"You know what? I think that when I win the bet I'm going to wear my favourite boots. They'd fit right in with Christmas time, and I am pulling them off," Ted stated.
Barney strongly resisted the urge to add, 'Unlike girl's panties,' and instead kept his mouth shut. He simply nodded at the comment.
"You know, there's something that I've been wanting to get off of my chest. I never could get the guts to tell you before, but now you can't mock me, right?" Ted asked. "I watched all of the High School Musical movies, and you know what? Those songs are catchy."
Barney had to literally cover his mouth to prevent himself from laughing, he had a bad feeling that this was going to be the longest hour of his life.
"Remember the time that I got that pretty butterfly tattoo? I've been thinking about getting another one. I miss it."
"I totally understand why Bela loves Edward, I mean he's just so dreamy."
"Sometimes I like to put a dress on, wear a wig, do my make-up, and imagine what it would be like if I were a real woman."
"When I was a teenager I made out with a guy for twenty bucks, and you know what? I didn't even keep the money."
"I believed in unicorns and demanded to have a pet one until I was thirteen."
For the rest of the bet things like this were said, as well as Ted occasionally dancing around while singing 'Man I Feel Like a Woman' by Shania Twain.
"One minute left," Robin warned.
Barney was so close to cracking that he wasn't sure if he could hold on for that much longer.
"Sometimes I wax my legs! I cried the first fifteen times I watched Air Bud! I've watched Air Bud more than fifteen times! If I could sleep with any Star Wars character I would choose Jar Jar Binks! My favourite drink is a lime margarita!" Ted blurted.
"Time, Barney wins!" Robin announced.
"Yes!" Barney screamed excitedly before bursting into hysterical laughter. Now Ted would have to pay for all of the things that he had said.
Later, at the party, Barney was sitting with a girl squirming in his lap (and several more girls lined up to sit in his lap). He was having an excellent time telling each girl a different one of his elf's secrets. One of those girls, being Ted's newest girlfriend.
Ted really needed to remember not to make bets with Barney again.
A/N: Please read and review! I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! :D
