Disclaimer: Not mine. No… really, I'm not kidding. I have no say whatsoever with Criminal Intent – trust me, things would be a lot different if I did!!!

Rating: Er, K??

Category: BA

Spoilers: 'Silencer' – aired 4-3-07. Post-ep.

Author: Traci

Author Note: Written immediately after 'Silencer' aired – during SVU even!! Sorry for any glaring errors.

Silence Is Not Always Golden

Detective Robert Goren sat on his couch staring at the phone. I have a date, Goren, so no phone calls. He sighed. He had suspected. He had seen the interest in his partner's eyes when Peter, the interpreter helping them on a recent case, had shown an interest in her. He should have said something. He should have told her. He should have… Bobby sighed. She deserved much better than an unbalanced man like himself. Whiskey – her favorite drink after a very bad day. Whiskey – his only connection remaining with his partner – his best friend.

The sun was high in the sky by the time he awoke. Groaning, he reached for the bottle of aspirin and accidentally knocked over the now-empty bottle of whiskey. Staring at the rolling bottle, he realized he had lost. He had lost everything. He had lost her.

His head felt like it would explode with the first shrill of his cell. Barely able to stand, he made his way over to the kitchen table and looked at the caller ID. Eames. Would he be able to cover up his own pain to be happy for her?

"Hey," he answered groggily. "How was your date?"

He could hear the smile on her face when she responded, "Whiskey?"

"A little," Bobby admitted.

"I'd say by the fact that it's one in the afternoon and you sound like you've just crawled out of a sewer it was more likely a large bottle."

"You didn't answer my question."

Eames hesitated. "Can I come over?"

"Do you need to ask?"

Alexandra Eames took a deep breath as she stood outside her partner's door. This was going to be one of the hardest things she would ever have to do, but he had a right to know. After nearly seven years of being a part of each other's lives he, of all people, had a right to be the first to know.

The door opened within seconds of her knocking.

"Wondered how long you were going to stand out there," he grinned.

She forced a small smile back and stepped inside. "Sorry." Her eyes fell upon the tipped over whiskey bottle and a tinge of guilt tugged at her heart. Biting her lower lip, she turned to face him. "You wanted to know how my date went."

He merely looked at her then sat on the couch once again.

"Peter is… a nice guy. A really nice guy. He's easy to talk to. He listens to what I have to say." She smiled. "He brought me flowers."

"You deserve that," he whispered.

She sighed and sat beside him on the couch. "Dammit, Bobby, why can't you just talk to me for once?!"

His mouth opened but he found himself speechless.

"You're just going to let me be swept off my feet by some cop who sends me flowers? You know how much I hate flowers!"

"I… I don't know what you want me to say?"

Frustrated, Alex stood up and began pacing. "Tell me the truth. Tell me you don't like this guy. Tell me I deserve better. Tell me…" She paused and stared at him. "Tell me how you feel."

"Ea… Alex, you do deserve this. You deserve someone who will take care of you. Who will do nice things for you. Who will…"

"Ugh!"

Bobby stood up as well. "I… don't know what you want me to say."

Alex walked over to him and stood facing him. "How do you feel about… about… me?"

For the second time he found himself speechless.

"Please, Bobby. Give me at least enough respect to tell me the truth."

"What does it matter?"

"It matters to me. I need to know. I need to know if…" She swallowed hard. "I need to know if there is the possibility of an us."

Bobby studied her eyes. "Is that what you want?"

"Dammit, Bobby! Why can't you make anything easy?" Turning from him, she started for the door but was held back by a strong hand wrapping around her wrist. Slowly she faced him once more.

"The whiskey?" he began. "It… it was the only thing I had that reminded me of you. I … I don't remember much more than staring at the phone wanting to call you. To interrupt. To tell you..." He let go of her wrist and sat down. "You deserve so much more than I will ever be able to give you. You deserve someone who won't frustrate you. Who will bring you flowers – even if you hate flowers," he smiled. "I am not the man who can give you what you deserve."

With tears in her eyes, Alex knelt down before him and took his hand in hers, silently urging him to look at her. When he finally did, she spoke. "I was married to a wonderful man who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. He was my best friend. He was my protector – even when I told him I didn't need one. He frustrated the hell out of me." She used her free hand to wipe away a few tears that escaped. "When Joe died I never thought I'd meet anyone who would make me feel so… alive again. But I was wrong. Six years ago I met that man. Yes, you can be the most frustrating man in the world but… Bobby, when I was at dinner last night it just didn't feel right. I only went because you didn't say anything to stop me. I can't… I won't… just settle for someone because they call me or send flowers or take me out to dinner or say nice things."

"I'm a mess."

"You're a challenge," she grinned.

"Many consider me insane."

"I consider you… unusual at times," she countered.

He smiled at her. "I'm not going to win this as usual, am I?"

Alex shook her head.

"Are you sure? You may find out that you can't stand to be around me outside of work."

"I'm willing to take that chance if you are."

"What about Peter?"

"Um, he was the one who brought it up. Apparently I mentioned your name more than a few times over dinner," Alex admitted.

Bobby laughed and pulled her into an awkward hug until she moved onto the couch beside him. "Not the greatest thing for a man's ego."

"Probably not," she mumbled into his shoulder then pulled back to look at him. "But it got me what I wanted all along, didn't it?" With that, she leaned up and kissed him.

"Remind me to thank him," Bobby whispered before turning off his cell phone so there would be no interruptions.

The End.