Chapter One
Everyone else can tell, but he doesn't seem to notice how much he hurts me. I guess I should be grateful for the fact; it's the only thing that keeps me from really losing it.
He always looks so lost, so confused when Hinata kindly convinces him not to make the same mistake repeatedly of inviting me to tag along with them, all of which I turn down anyways. I could say she does this to annoy me, but Hinata just isn't that kind of person. She knows that if I constantly hang around them, it will become harder and harder for me to hide my feelings.
I hate how things have turned out between us. He wonders why Sakura is always so bitchy to him for seemingly no real reason. Once upon a time, Kakashi had been on his side, defending the poor guy from Sakura's fearsome wrath, but even he is starting to have his doubts. People keep telling me that he's not worth the time and that I should just forget about him but... it's not that simple. He's my best friend— I can't just turn my back on him at the drop of a dime.
We've been around each other for what feels like our whole life. I can still recall the day when he first approached me on the playground and stated that he and I would be playmates for the rest of the year whether I liked it or not. He'd said that seeing me play by myself day after day was depressing and he couldn't fully enjoy recess with me looking so lonely by the jungle gym. "Recess is the next best thing in the world besides ramennoodles and if you can't enjoy it it's a waste," he'd said matter-of-factly as he dragged me off to the merry-go-round.
We were nearly inseparable for the remainder of elementary and much through our freshman year of high school.
Things changed our second high school year. That was when my very distant cousin Hinata moved to town with her first cousin Neji and joined our sophomore class. I had no idea we were related until my brother and I bumped into her and Neji at the grocery store over summer vacation where we were introduced for the first time as relatives, not classmates. Honestly, that had been the longest I'd ever spoken with her for the year we'd been around each other. Even after that chanced meeting, we hardly talked to each other unless you count our little head nods and pleasant "good morning"s to one another.
Either way, he fell for her. Hard. Imagine one of the toughest guys in school being seen following sweet sweet Hinata around like a love sick puppy. It was laughable! But he didn't care; his macho man act was long gone from the very moment he laid eyes on her. What I find funny— and at the same time annoying— is the way he went all shy around her. He was perfectly happy to watch her from afar like some strange stalker. Honestly, I think he scared her with his intense, constant staring.
It was at the beginning of junior year, right after I'd found out I was related to Hinata, when they started dating. They dated casually, every Friday they went to the movies, Saturdays they went out to eat, and Sundays they didn't see each other but talked a considerable amount on the phone. For the rest of the week he'd walk her to and from school. Now, don't think I hid in the bushes and followed them because I really do have better things to do with my time. I only know this because I'd been invited to hang out with them a few times and, as I stated earlier, I turned down each and every invitation.
One would think that with all the time they were spending together to two was already a couple but this wasn't true. They didn't become an official couple until a few weeks before senior year started.
I don't know how I survived him talking my ear off— both in person, over the phone, and through e-mails— about how kind, sweet, and caring she was and how they had so much in common. As a good friend I sat there and listened to majority of everything he said, only blocking him out when he started to repeat himself. There are only so many ways you can tell a person how cute your girlfriend is.
At the time I didn't understand why but I was bothered by the things he said, or a better way to put it is the way he said it. He treated her love like it was a gift from the Gods themselves.
Mine was like a shirt you were given and forget about until you needed to wear it for the person who gave it to you.
I'd catch him staring at me sometimes but I would pretend like I didn't notice. There's a distance between us and I'm the one that put it there, though I avoid the topic whenever he brings it up, brushing it off as "really? I haven't even noticed" or "you must be imagining things."
I could only keep it up for so long. He cornered me one day and demanded to know what was wrong. I finally had to admit that I felt like the third wheel when hanging out with him and Hinata. Like they say, three's a crowd.
He looks at me, shocked, surprised, hurt? I'm not sure. All I know is that his starring was creeping me out; it makes me uncomfortable when someone stares at me for too long. My discomfort was put on hold as he pulled— more like yanked— me into his arms. "You're my best friend," he stressed, squeezing me tighter, "you shouldn't feel that way." I quickly squeeze him back before letting go. My mind was already made up and there's no way I'm changing it again.
Things would probably go so much smoother if I could bring myself to hate her. But I just can't. Even though we're family, everyone else would think of us as complete strangers. Even though he's dating her and we're best friends, he doesn't know that Hinata and I share some blood. It's just not something we thought was worth sharing with the world.
And, besides, I truly do believe that she's in love with him. Who am I to come in between that?
Well, I have the story half way done already and I knew that if I just let it sit there, I'd never finish it, so I figured why not post it? Surely that'll get me into writing again. Hopefully you've all figured out who's POV this is and it'll remain that way for the rest of the story.
So... with nothing else to say, I'll see you next chap! Ah, and as always, feel free to leave a review ;)