If you think living with ten sisters is tough, try saving a hundred and one dalmatians from a mad woman.
Now I know what you're thinking, "Lincoln, how did you save all of those dalmatians?"
Well, I'll tell you one thing; it wasn't easy. Especially when you cross paths with Cruella De Vil. But more on her later.
Let's start at the beginning before the Case of the Missing Dalmatians.
It was Thanksgiving weekend. My family and I had just arrived in London to celebrate with my dad's old roommate from college, Roger Radcliffe.
"Now I expect you kids to be on your very best behavior." said my dad when we walked across the street to Roger's house.
"We'll be good, Dad...unless somebody's talking turkey!" laughed my comedic sister, Luan. "Get it?"
Unfortunately, the rest of us didn't think that was funny, especially when it was a Thanksgiving joke.
"Luan, can we just go through a few hours without another one of your jokes?" I asked.
"Why are you pilgrim?" joked Luan. "It's Thanksgiving!"
"Yeah, not Pranksgiving." said my athletic sister, Lynn.
"Alright, kids. Let's just try to have a nice Thanksgiving without getting on each other's nerves, OK?" said my mom as we've arrived at Roger's house.
My baby sister, Lily rang the door bell while my mom was holding her.
Nanny, the housekeeper hurried to answer the door.
"Happy Thanksgiving!" we all greeted.
"Oh, heavens to Betsy!" chortled Nanny. "What a surprise."
At that same moment, Roger's wife, Anita walked out of the kitchen.
"Oh, you must be the Loud family." she said.
"Hello, luv." said Dad, using his British accent. "Pip pip and all that rot."
Thinking my dad was hitting with another woman, Mom elbowed him.
Dad chuckled nervously. "Uh, this is my wife, Rita. And these are our kids; Lori, Luna, Lana, Leni, Luan, Lynn Jr., Lola, Lincoln, Lisa and Lily."
My sisters and I said "Hello" while Lisa said "Greetings."
"You forgot me." said another one of my sisters.
We were all scared stiff upon hearing her chilling voice.
"Dang it!" said Dad. "How could I forget about Lucy?"
"So, you have eleven children." said Anita. "How quaint."
"Oh, but that's nothing compared to our fifteen." added Nanny.
"Fifteen?" we all repeated.
"You have fifteen kids?" asked Lola.
"Oh, no, sweetie." chuckled Anita. "We have fifteen puppies. Perdy! Pongo!"
One by one, the Radcliffes' pet Dalmatians, Pongo and Perdita led their fifteen puppies out of the kitchen.
"Looks like you have a spotty situation in your hands!" laughed Luan. "Get it?"
"Really, Luan?" asked Lori.
"Hey, the house has gone to the dogs!" Luan laughed some more. "Get it?"
"That's some daughter you have." said Anita.
"Well, that's Luan for you." said Dad. "Always coming up with one pun after the other."
"Literally annoying." added Lori.
"Aww, come on, Lori. You know I'm just yanking your chain." Luan laughed again. "Get it?"
"Well, I'll let Roger know you're here." said Anita. "Roger, dear! The Louds are here!"
Pongo barked as well to get Roger's attention.
"Darling!" called Anita.
Roger was playing the piano inside his music studio, while singing back to Anita, "Be down in a minute!"
Roger waltzed downstairs, still humming the melody he was playing at the piano.
"Do you like my new song?" he sang.
"Dude, you're into music too?" said Luna. "Sweet!"
"What were you working on, Mr. Radcliffe?" asked Leni.
"Oh, just call me Roger, sweetheart." said Roger. "And if you must know, I was working on a song based on Anita's old school mate, Cruella De Vil."
"Your song is, literally, called 'Cruella De Vil?'" said Lori.
"Would you like to hear it?" asked Roger.
We all said "Yes" immediately.
"Smashing!" said Roger, who began to sing his song.
Cruella De Vil, Cruella De Vil
If she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will
"Nothing scares me." moaned Lucy.
"To see her is to take a sudden chill." Roger kept on singing as he ran his finger through Leni's hair, causing her to panic. "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"
"Cruella, Cruella." Roger continued singing as he crept up the staircase. "She's like a spider waiting for the kill."
As he sang, he popped Lynn's football with a pin, to her horror as the puppies ducked for cover.
"Look out for Cruella De Vil." he went on singing, reaching out for a sweater and wrapped it around his neck like it was a feathered boa.
At first, you think Cruella is a devil
But after time has worn away the shock
You come to realize
You've seen her kind of eyes
Watching you from underneath a rock!
"That is, literally..." began Lori but Roger kept on singing. "This vampire bat, this inhuman beast."
"Bees?!" thought Leni.
"She ought to be locked up and never released." sang Roger as he picked up Lily and danced around with her.
The world was such a wholesome place until
Cruella, Cruella De Vil
"Well, that was...really something." said Mom.
Pongo barked in agreement, but Perdita was not amused.
"What else do you have in the works, Rog?" asked Luna.
Roger chuckled. "'Fraid it's top-secret, my dear. But I can make an exception during dinner."
"Speaking of dinner," said Dad. "Let's get a move-on, gang! We don't want to miss our reservation."
"Ah, ah, ah. Not so fast, Lynnster." said Roger as he reached for his hat and coat. "Dinner is all on me."
"We'll be back in time to take you on your evening walk." Anita said to Pongo and Perdita. "Do be good for Nanny."
Pongo and Perdita barked as if they were saying "We will."