What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

Flay.

I had hurt her so much during the war and in turn she me. Though I never knew it until Sai and Mirillia told me, that all she wanted was for me to fight and fight until I was died, only then could she be at peace.

"I can see you so much clearer now"

"I was in so much pain"

Those were her finally words as the flames of the destroyed craft engulfed her body.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Then theres Lacus Clyne, the pink haired Songstress. She has always been there for me, when I cried, I would cry in her arms. When the nightmares came she was by myside. She was always there, patiently waiting for me, waiting for the day where my sleeps would be peaceful again, where my heart and love could be hers.

Even during the second war she was there, worrying about me during battles. She was the first one I would see when I would wake up from being injured.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

I have never seen her cry, only twice. Once, when her father was killed and second when Meer died protecting her. There she was, holding Meer's diary and holding back the tears even though they still fell.

Lacus is a strong and kind woman, and she deserves someone so much better than me. All I do is hurt her, like I did with Flay.

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

But I know that this time is different. I believed that I was in love with Flay Allster, but I wasn't. No, all we did was use each other to run from our fears, our pain. With Lacus...Lacus brings my life peace once more. I'm at peace when I hear her sing or playing with the children or tucking them in at night. I now know what would hurt the most.

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What would hurt the most would be losing her, not be able to protect her from those that want her died. I love her and I'll never let her go. It would hurt to much.

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

"Kira? Are you okay?" she asked sweetly as she came to stand beside my on the balcony. Turning, I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me, and leaned down and place a small yet passionate kiss on her lips.

"I love you."