"SIRIUS BLACK! GET OUT OF THE GIRL'S DORMOTORIES YOU TWIT!" Lily Evans screeched.
You see, Lily had just gotten back from visiting her boyfriend James Potter. Aside from being Lily Evans boyfriend, he was Mr. Popular, School Troublemaker, and—Sirius Blacks' Best Friend.
So, you can see why Lily was rather surprised to find a certain black-haired troublemaking twit lying on her bed eating her box of chocolates from no other than James Potter.
"Oi, Lily! Must you scream so bloody loud! I can't hear a thing! And no! I have to talk to you before I exit the girl's dormitories, if you please." Sirius said, grinning at the last part.
"And what may that be?" Lily said, setting her wand on the bedside table.
"How long have you and Jamesie been…. Together?"
"Like you haven't known! You're the one who locked me in your dorm with James for two days!"
Sirius shrugged with a smirk. "I got you to snog Prongs, didn't I?" Lily threw a book at him, and he ducked.
"What does this having to do with anything?" Lily asked slightly annoyed.
"Let me rephrase the question then..…" Sirius said, right before Remus Lupin came sauntering in.
"How do bloody boys get up here?" Lily muttered to herself before politely greeting Remus.
"Why don't you talk to me like that, Lils? It hurts, Lil. It really does." Sirius said with a fake frown.
"Because Remus isn't a twit like you!" Lily snapped. "Now why are you two up in the girl's dormitories?" Lily said while sitting next to Remus on the couch a few feet away from her bed (still occupied by Sirius).
"I came up here to ask Lily how long she and Prongs have been….. Together?" Remus said with a smirk.
"I asked her first Moony!" Sirius whined.
"WHY?" Lily interrupted. No one heard her, because Peter had opened the door and took a seat on a red plush chair opposite the couch.
"Greetings, Lily, Padfoot, Moony. I have a question for Lily. Would you mind?" Peter said with a smirk while Lily swore she'd find a way to keep the twits out of her room.
"I WAS HERE FIRST!" Sirius said rather loudly, while jumping on her bed in a manner that made him look like a three year old.
"I'M THE BETTER FRIEND!" argued Remus.
"I'M SHORTEST!" Peter disagreed.
"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE BLOODY SENSE!" complained Remus.
"DON'T TALK TO WORMTAIL LIKE THAT, MOONY!" Sirius interrupted
"I'LL DO WHAT I PLEASE, PADFOOT!" countered Remus.
"BAGSY CHOCOLATE! BAGSY LILY AND PRONGS BEST MAN IN THEIR WEDDING! BAGSY BALLON! BAGSY ! BAGSY GODFATHER OF LILY AND JAMES FIRST SON! BAGSY CUPCAKES! BAGSY ELECTRICITY! BAGSY LILY'S BROTHERRRRRRRRRRR! BAGSY BROOM! BAGSY CO—"
"SHUT UP, SIRIUS!" shouted Peter, Remus, Lily and James who had entered seconds before Sirius' Bagsy rant.
"I've only been dating your bloody friend for a month!" Lily said followed by silence.
"Bagsy naming Lily and Prongs son…Oi! I got it! Harry Potter…..I like it!" Sirius whispered under his breath.
"I HEARD THAT YOU GIT!" Lily said, lunging for Sirius.
James, caring for the well-being of his best friend, wrapped his arm around Lily's waist and shouted, "RUN!"
Sirius, followed by Remus and Peter rushed out of the room, probably to the other side of Hogwarts.
After an hour of calming Lily, she asked James, "Why'd your friends want to know how long we've been together?" Lily said with her head in his lap as he played with her hair.
"My friends are rather odd…. BAGSY LOCKING THEM IN A BOX!"