A/N:
This idea kind of just randomly popped into my brain, and I just began writing. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I loved writing this. This chapter the lyrics are from the song "Mr. Brightside"- The Killers. Read and Review? I hope to make this a multi-chaptered fic. ALSO, follow my Sam Puckett RP on tumblr. "isampuckett" The next update should come after 20 reviews. It's rated "M" for future chapters, because I'm sure you're aware of how much I like my smut. :3
Disclaimer: I'm not Dan Schneider, so I don't own iCarly. Or else we'd see those Seddie makeouts, you know- because I find both halves of Seddie ridiculously attractive.
With his face hidden between both hands, Fredward Benson let out a frustrated sigh. His once youthful expression had recently begun to show his true age. At the age of 42 years old, he had once passed for being 30 only a few months earlier. As his back slid down the cold textured wall; he contemplated on the inevitable decision that lay ahead. It was up to his discretion and either path he chose would lead to an unbearable weight of suffering.
x.
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.
x.
Freddie had never planned on falling for her, nor did he even expect to have a platonic friendship with a girl with the type of personality that she had. Sam Puckett's name seldom ever appeared on any adolescent boy's list of girls they'd date. Mainly, it was out of irrational fears that she would somehow find out and pummel them into a pulp. Truthfully, he had only tried to act cordial towards her for Carly- that was in the beginning though. His attitude quickly changed as the days flew past. It was the subtle things that drew him in unknowingly- and after a while, his "crush" on Carly seemed to feel obligatory. He noticed that he caught himself staring at Sam, a lot more especially after the initial shock of her blunt personality had worn off. She had her quirks, and it drew him in- unwillingly at first.
It was his mother that had acknowledged the change first. Surprisingly enough, he found out that she actually watched iCarly- however, she had never mentioned it prior to this one moment.
He had just walked in through his front door after a post-show celebration with the rest of the cast- plus Spencer, and was taking off his shoes when his mother approached him. She had cornered him, and waved her finger in his face while shouting out him with disapproval clear in her eyes, "Fredward Benson! You almost fumbled through iCarly tonight! I DID NOT agree to let you help out so that you could oggle over some …Puckett!"
His eyebrow raised questioningly, as he tried to come up with a coherent response. Words failed him, however and all he could manage was a blank expression as his mother drilled him with questions on end- all regarding to his 'obvious infatuation'.
It got to a point where his words tumbled out of his mouth, "What in the world? MOTHER! I DO NOT- AND I REPEAT, DO NOT HAVE A THING FOR SAM! THAT'S LIKE HAVING A THING FOR A HOBO! They both steal your food and don't shower often!"
His mother's expression shifted from frustration to being amused. "Fredward Benson, you could hardly peel the camera away from her during tonight's show! I'm sure that even Carly noticed." With her arms crossed, she gave him a look that challenged him to contest what she had just said.
He didn't. Freddie was shocked, because as he thought back- he realized that his mother was right. It wasn't his fault that the camera lov- liked her, right? She was a beaut- good looking girl, he wouldn't deny that; except to her face of course. However, that didn't mean that he liked her. Of course it didn't. That would be… crazy, he'd have to be insane to like Sam Puckett of all people, right? He was just a boy, and boys noticed these types of things- like it or not. Freddie just wasn't sure if he liked it…yet.
The next day, he made sure to keep his distance from anything Sam related. Walking into Carly's place, he ignored Sam's greeting and headed straight to the fridge in order to get a can of peppy cola. As Carly brought up last night's iCarly and the viewer's comments, he began to chug the drink in order to avoid talking- fearful that he'd experience a case of word vomit.
x.
And I just can't look, it's killing me- and taking control.
x.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sam shrug as she realized that he wasn't going to acknowledge her presence, and he could've sworn that something about her eyes changed. Her deep blue eyes, faltered slightly- and the clouded.
As Carly flung questions at Sam about various aspects of her day, he noticed that Sam lacked any enthusiasm, and it almost caused his resolve to break.
But it didn't. It may have cracked it slightly, but he tried further to be strong. He had spent his whole life in attempts of trying to get his mother to back off and let him take control of his own life, so why should he let Sam of all people gain any control?
x.
They had another iCarly show to do that night. Earlier that day, both Sam and Carly had found out that he'd never been kissed. On the bus ride home, it was all they could talk about. They were whispering in the seat infront of him, but he still heard.
Every single word.
He pushed through their teasing until that one moment. The moment that Sam told every viewer about it. Now, it wasn't just fun and games. She left him vulnerable not just to herself, but to the world.
He wasn't going to put up with it. Not anymore. She wasn't going to have this affect on him anymore.
So he left. In the middle of the show, and went out on the fire escape. It was a place that he went to in order to avoid his mom. He had found it in hopes of not having to lie to her about leaving the building, and made it his own.
As he leaned back and listened to his music, Freddie tried to come up with reasons for justifying the hatred he should be feeling towards her. However, there wasn't any.
She found him and interrupted his thoughts with a knock on the window.
x.
He was surprised when she apologized. It wasn't like her, and he was even more shocked when she admitted her secret. However, Freddie was most surprised when they decided on kissing…each other. Just to get it over with- of course.
I'm coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine. Gotta gotta be down, because I want it all.
x.
It wasn't bad, though he never expected it to be. He didn't know how he should feel afterwards. All that he knew for certain was that she now had a more powerful hold over him than before. How he'd keep her from abusing that power, was beyond him. Firstly, he'd have to make sure that she was never aware of it.
x.
Back in the present, Freddie shook these thoughts out of his mind. It did him no good- to live in the past, for he had a big decision to make within the next few days. Various doctors and nurses, weaved their way through the hallways and the sound of their footsteps heightened his anxiety. He couldn't think here, but he also didn't want to leave. However, at that moment- they shoo'ed him away. Visiting hours were over, and he'd have to wait until the next day to finish his 'goodbyes', whether or not they'd be final- he had yet to decide.