A Night Alone or How to Propose to a Girl in Four

by Annoret

A Night Alone or How to Propose to a Girl in Four Torturous Steps. Chpt 20 Eclipse Edward's POV. I had giggle fits writing this one! Rated M just in case. R&R and Enjoy hopefully!

Eclipse Chapter 20: Compromise. Edward's POV. I do not own Twilight or any of these characters. Stehpanie Meyer does, and more power to her. I'm jealous.

A Night Alone or How to Propose to a Girl in Four Tortuous Steps

Charlie was always putty in Alice's tiny, competent hands. The sleepover ruse was perfect. Of course, I knew that Charlie actually preferred not to look at Bella's stories too closely – he instinctively knew he may not like a lot of them. For good reason. However, Alice's reassurances to Charlie helped; Bella was the worlds' worst liar.

Now I had my Bella. All to myself. All night. Bliss and torture all at once. But certain things would be resolved tonight, I told myself as I let her drive her truck towards the house. I knew that she thought the slight smile on my face was due to her lack of speed, but it was the plans brewing in my head that brought it out. That and the fact that we would be all alone – how often did that happen? My plans were quickly flushing themselves out. I felt like a schoolboy, mischievous and scheming – and gleeful. No one with vampiric hearing around…no thoughts intruding on our time together…. It was perfect.

"For this one night, could we try to forget everything else besides just you and me?" I'd begged her, beseeching her eyes with mine. What she called my "dazzling" although she had me beat hands down in that department. "It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you."

And she'd agreed. Step One down.

I smothered a chuckle when I remembered her initial reaction to this, her second "hostage taking". Briefly, when she learned that it wasn't Alice staying behind to "babysit", she'd hesitated, making my breath stop in fear. However, she'd put all my fears to rest.

"Why didn't you tell Alice to tell Charlie you were leaving tonight?" She was astonishing.

As we pulled up to the long drive, I noticed that her heartbeat had kicked up and again, I had to wonder what was going through that pretty head. Considering my plans for the evening, if anyone should be nervous, it should be me. Ever the hopeless romantic. I really was turning into such the human.

Now I was getting impatient. As we pulled to a stop in front of the house, I didn't wait for her to cut the engine before racing around to pull open her door and pull her into my arms. I gently began assaulting her with kisses immediately, not ever having enough of her. I kicked the door to the truck shut behind me and kissed her all the way into the house, over the threshold. Carrying her bride-style, I almost smirked. If anyone were watching us, they would see the most obvious use of foreshadowing possible. That thought made me worry – a tiny bit. Would she pick up on it? It seemed not; she focused on my lips, her heartbeat flying, no hesitation, all trust. My lips, my hands, my body would never have enough of her….I suspected this would be true even after her transformation. The thought made me positively glow with need. Always I was shocked at the human impulses she pulled out of me. Male impulses. The vampire impulses were taking a backseat – especially since Italy. The scorching thirst she produced in me paled in comparison to the absolute physical need she brought to my surface. The male animals' impulses were definitely in the drivers' seat, and lately, were heading down dangerous roads. I gave in to the need for a long time, kissing her in the entryway, longer than she probably thought me capable of.

Time to set my plans in motion. Step Two up to bat.

Chuckling quietly, I pulled her gently away, and held her at arms length to look into her beautiful deep eyes.

"Welcome home", I purred.

"That sounds nice," she breathed.

I set her gently on her feet. She wrapped her arms around me, needing as much contact as I did, apparently. The warmth of her melted my cold heart.

"I have something for you", I reminded her.

She'd forgotten. "Oh?"

"Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable."

Reluctance touched her face. "Oh, that's right. I guess I did say that."

I chuckled at her twinge of regret. It wasn't going to stop me now.

"It's up in my room. Shall I go get it?"

This seemed to perk her up. "Sure," she said, winding her fingers with mine. "Let's go." I was caught for the briefest portion of a second….did her eyes sparkle a little mischievously? My own plans, however, were foremost.

Needing an outlet for my excitement and impatience, I picked her up and dashed up the stairs. At my door I set her upright, flew to my closet, plucked the gift out of its' hiding place and was back to the door before she could step foot in the room. However, she had her own ideas about accepting presents so easily – as usual.

She walked past me, sat on the bed, and slid until she was dead center. Pulling her knees to her chest, a bit protectively I thought, she finally looked at me and grumbled, "Okay, let me have it."

I had to laugh. You'd think I was giving her bad news about a pet. Comical Bella.

I climbed onto the bed and sat next to her, noting the erratic pulse. She can't be THAT nervous about a secondhand gift, can she?

"A hand-me-down," my words came out a little more sternly than I'd wanted in reaction to her increased heart rate. I gently pulled her left wrist away from her knees and clasped the diamond heart on the bracelet opposite the little russet wolf. I adamantly refused to think about the giver of that charm. Not tonight. Tonight was just us. I released her arm, and watched her response, hardly daring to hope she would like it.

She examined it cautiously and inhaled in a low gasp.

"It was my mother's." To downplay its weight – literally as well as figuratively – I shrugged nonchalantly. "I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I've given some to Alice and Esme both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way". Unless she suspected it was a diamond….then I would be in trouble. Grizzly trouble.

She smiled a little ruefully at this. I took this as encouragement.

"But I thought that it was a good representation. It's hard and cold," I laughed. "And it throws rainbows in the sunlight".

"You forgot the most important similarity," she murmured lovingly, staring into my eyes. "It's beautiful." She was too much.

"My heart is just as silent. And it too, is yours," I reflected.

Twisting her wrist so that the stone caught the light and glimmered – getting more enjoyment out of it than I thought her capable of – she breathed, "Thank you. For both".

She never failed to surprise me. Although I was grateful for it this time.

"No, thank you. It's a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you too." I grinned widely. Soon.

She leaned into me and pulled my arm around her; I wrapped my other arm around her, cuddling her close. This was working out better than I'd hoped. My body began responding to her touch in ways I was growing more accustomed to these days. And craving more every day. Step Two had been a roaring success – measured against Bella's reticence about receiving gifts, that is. Step Two Complete. Onto Step Three.

However, with her next words, I realized Step Three would have to wait. For now.

"Could we discuss something? I'd appreciate it if you could begin by being open-minded," she carefully said. Not what I expected. Though, I mused, I would probably be better off if I just stopped having expectations as they applied to Bella.

"I'll give it my best effort," I replied just as carefully after a moment.

She noted the hesitation. "I'm not breaking any rules here, this is strictly about you and me," she promised. She cleared her throat and took a breath. "So…I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was wondering if we could apply the same principle to another situation." So formal…

I smiled inwardly. "What would you like to negotiate?"

She seemed to wrestle internally for a moment. Her pulse kicked up again.

"Listen to your heart fly," I murmured. "It's fluttering like a hummingbirds' wings. Are you all right?"

"I'm great."

"Please go on then."

Hesitant Bella. "Well, I guess, first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing."

Ah. I almost sighed. Best laid plans… "It's only ridiculous to you. What about it?" I replied. I would not give up on Step Three. We'd get there.

"I was wondering….is that open to negotiation?"

All lightness abandoned me and I frowned. This was exactly opposite the direction I'd been hoping to take us in. "I've already made the largest concession by far and away - I've agreed to take your life away against my better judgment. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part."

"No," she carefully controlled herself, but I didn't allow her to see that I saw it. "That part's a done deal. We're not discussing my…renovations right now. I want to hammer out some other details." Interesting choice of words for three days of hellish pain and agony. Renovations.

I knew she saw the mistrust on my face, but I couldn't help it. "Which details do you mean exactly?"

"Let's clarify your prerequisites first." She seemed a bit nervous.

"You know what I want".

"Matrimony," she practically spit. Ah, but my plan was still in place….the lightness returned.

"Yes," I said, smiling widely. "To start with." Chew on that, beautiful.

"There's more?" her voice reflected the shock in her face.

Well, if you're my wife, then what's mine is yours… like tuition money. So there would be no problem with going to Dartmouth." I was conniving and I knew it. So did she.

"Anything else? While you're already being absurd?"

"I wouldn't mind some time."

"No. No time. That's a deal breaker right there."

I sighed longingly. "Just a year or two?"

Stubborn Bella. "Move along to the next one."

"That's it. Unless you'd like to talk cars…" I grinned widely at her grimace. She took my hand in hers and started playing with it. Her warmth spread slowly though my fingers. What did she want? There was something….not knowing what bothered me. As it usually did when it came to wondering just what was going on in her mind.

"I didn't realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I'm extremely curious." Understatement of the year….

The blush caught me off guard. "You're blushing?" the surprise evident in my voice. She didn't look at me. "Please, Bella, the suspense is painful."

She bit her lip, still not looking at me.

"Bella." Reproachful. It worked.

"Well, I'm a little worried….about after," she admitted, finally meeting my eyes.

I tensed, but spoke as gently as I could. "What has you worried?"

Almost desperate now. "All of you just seem so convinced that the only thing I'm going to be interested in, afterward is slaughtering everyone in town." I winced at slaughter. She plugged on. "And I'm afraid I'll be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I won't be me anymore…and that I won't…I won't want you the same way I do now."

"Bella, that part doesn't last forever." Quietly, I tried to reassure her.

She looked down, nervous again.

"Edward, there is something that I want to do before I'm not human anymore."

I waited. The suspense, again, was painful. But she needed to let me know herself. She blushed again. I was getting anxious now. So was she.

"Whatever you want," I encouraged. Rather rashly, but I was nervous. I'd give her the stars if I could – if she'd take them.

"Do you promise?" she mumbled. Her heart rate was speeding up even more, and her body almost vibrated with tension.

"Yes." I was so confused…what could she want that would cause this reaction in her?

"You." Almost incoherent.

I was baffled. "I'm yours." These words always made me smile. I was hers…

She took a deep breath and shifted so that she was kneeling on the bed in front of me – and kissed me. Confused, I kissed her gently back, wondering at her actions.

Her shaking hands wandered up to the top buttons on my shirt. Oh. My. I froze in place. The blushing, the heart rate increase, the negotiations…. Her voice drifted through my head - 'I want to do something before I'm not human anymore'. All leading us here – to her possible destruction. Hadn't we been down this road many a time? Did she not understand it was intolerable for me to willingly place her in danger? Did she not know how much it took for me to keep saying no – that it took more effort with each touch? Her attempts at undermining my control were thrilling and terrifying at the same time. The male animal who'd been at the wheel more often than I'd liked lately was struggling against his bonds. Hard. I pushed her away at once.

Disapproval strong in my voice, I said, "Be reasonable, Bella."

"You promised – whatever I wanted." Hopelessly stubborn Bella.

"We are not having this conversation." I rebuttoned the two she'd managed to open on my shirt.

"I say we are." Growling Bella. Oh boy. She yanked open the top button of her own shirt. I had to work to keep my eyes in my head. I'd apparently awoken the feral, aggressive side of Bella. My lioness, that male part of my brain now named her. I ignored it.

"I say we're not." Glaring.

For a moment we glowered at each other. She agitated me beyond belief – her penchant for self-destruction was searing my nerves raw.

"You wanted to know," she pointed out.

"I thought it would be something faintly realistic," I blurted. Struggling with her and the male animal was tricky. And getting trickier by the second.

"So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing you want – like getting married – but I'm not allowed to even discuss what I –"

I covered her mouth with one of my hands – the other had already captured hers and was holding them still.

"No," I said coldly. It came out that way because my control was precarious at best right now.

She took at deep breath and closed her eyes, lowering her head slowly. Suddenly, the tension of anger drained from her body and her shoulders slumped. Her face heated up again. I took my hand from her lips – that momentary warmth against my skin making part of my male brain run in circles – and took her chin in my fingers, drawing her face upwards.

"What now?" I asked as gently as I could.

"Nothing." Liar Bella.

I looked at her face for a long moment; she tried to twist away futilely. The look in her eyes hit me like a ton of bricks – chagrin? Tears? Pain? Embarrassment? Rejection. I froze.

I really am a monster. I even horrify myself at times.

"Bella, did I hurt your feelings?" There was just no way to keep the shock out of my voice. I shocked myself on this one. So much for all the grand plans, genius.

"No". Liar Bella again.

I pulled her to me as fast as I dared, almost into my lap, trying to protect her from the stupid thing I'd done, from the way I'd made her feel. I cradled her head against me and stroked her soft cheek. I may have had my own designs for tonight, but apparently she did, too. My innocent Bella, trying to seduce me – me! – when I didn't even deserve to know her, much less love her. Had I been a shade more intelligent, I would have seen the effort she'd made to present herself to me, make herself a gift to me. A precious, vulnerable gift. And instead of realizing this and treasuring it, I'd thrown it back. I was a complete moron. The male animal inside me taunted - 'coward!' But I still couldn't tolerate putting her in that kind of danger…

"Bella, you know why I have to say no," I whispered, trying to salvage something from my enormous gaffe. "You know I want you, too."

"Do you?" she whispered doubtfully. I almost groaned. The doubt in her heart was my fault. I had to fix it. Somehow.

"Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl!" I laughed once, almost harshly, and my tone turned bleak. "Doesn't everyone? I feel like there's a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a big enough mistake…you're too desirable for your own good." Many males in Forks High School would never know how close they came to death, just thinking about her in my general vicinity.

She never believed this kind of thing. "Who's being silly now?" she sniffed, but I detected a little lightening up of her mood. I decided to help it along.

"Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be on the top of the list? You know a few on them, but some might surprise you."

Bella made a face against my chest and shook her head. "You're just trying to distract me. Let's get back to the subject." Ah, my wonderful stubborn Bella. My chest loosened. I wasn't banished. Relief swept through me at the same time dread at her words did. I sighed.

"Tell me if I have anything wrong." She worked to sound objective. It got better as she went. "Your demands are marriage" – her face twisted – "paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn't mind if my vehicle went a little faster." Raising her brows, she continued. "Did I miss anything? That's quite a hefty list."

"Only the first is a demand. The other's are merely requests." I tried to be as objective – but it was work. The smile kept trying to break through.

"And my lone, solitary, little demand is-,"

"Demand?" All lightness gone. No. Please, not a demand. Not this demand.

"Yes, demand."

I stared at her, terrified. The male animal inside however, started to crow.

"Getting married is a stretch for me. I'm not giving in unless I get something in return."

Since reacting instinctively with anger didn't work out so well just recently, I decided on persuasion. This allowed the crowing male portion of my brain his pleasure. Persuasion, he reasoned, was almost seduction.

"No," I murmured quietly into her ear. "It's not possible now. Later, when you're less breakable. Be patient Bella." I wanted to beg her – wait for me!

She stood firm against persuasion. "But that's the problem. I won't be the same when I'm less breakable. I won't be the same! I don't know who I'll be then."

"You'll still be Bella," I promised. Please, wait for me. The male portion, again, was getting warmed up. Mine, he growled.

She frowned. "If I'm so far gone that I'd want to kill Charlie – that I'd drink Jacob's blood or Angela's if I got the chance – how can that be true?"

"It will pass. And I doubt you'll want to drink the dog's blood." I shuddered at the though of her lips anywhere near him. "Even as a newborn, you'll have better taste than that." I'd hope the little joke would distract her. No such luck. Not from this topic and not tonight.

"But that will be what I'll always want most, won't it? Blood, blood and more blood!" she challenged almost desperately.

"The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true," I pointed out.

"Over eighty years later," she huffed. "What I meant was physically, though. Intellectually, I know I'll be able to be myself…after a while. But just purely physically – I will always be thirsty, more than anything else." And stared at me for confirmation.

She found it. I couldn't deny what was known.

"So I will be different." Bella ran with it. "Because right now, physically, there's nothing I want more than you. More than food, or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly more sensible order. But physically…"

She turned her head into my hand and kissed my palm. The blossom of heat that radiated out from the touch of her lips….I had to take a deep breath, and it was ragged. The male in me kicked and raged to be set free – he wanted those lips NOW! But my terror was still stronger, and tamped those impulses back down.

"Bella, I could kill you," I whispered.

"I don't think you could."

Tension ran through me. Had she forgotten my strength? Did she forget about how I had to concentrate just holding her, so that I wouldn't bruise, much less break, her? I couldn't imagine myself that out of control with her – the passion that tried to breach the surface, tried to go wild whenever we touched, that had nothing to do with her blood and everything to do with her body…I was as inexperienced as she when it came to physical intimacy. From other's minds I got glimpses into their sex lives; from medical books I knew the mechanics. What I didn't know was how I would react to passion, to being with her in that way. It terrified me. But it never terrified her. It seemed nothing about me ever would - except my withdrawl.

I reached over my head and plucked off one of the little leaves in the wrought iron headboard. I held it briefly in front of her, then simply closed my hand around it for a second. Opening my palm, she saw the lump of misshapen iron it'd become. A second brief, light squeeze, and the iron was crushed to small pebbles. I opened my palm to show her.

Was I expecting a different response from the one I received from her? From the first, I'd expected her to run from me. A part of me, at that time, had wished she had. She never did. This was no different.

She glared at me. "That's not what I meant. I already know how strong you are. You didn't have to break the furniture."

"Then what did you mean?" I asked tightly. I threw the iron pebbles against the glass wall and they rained down.

"Obviously, not that you aren't physically capable of harming me, if you wanted to…more that, you don't want to hurt me…so much so that I don't think you ever could." I was shaking my head.

"Bella, it might not work like that."

"Might." She actually scoffed. She trusted me, trusted my control, too, too much. "You have no more idea what you're talking about than I do."

Yet, there was nothing I would ever do to willingly break that trust.

"Exactly. Do you imagine that I would ever take that kind of risk with you?" I demanded.

She looked into my eyes for a long minute. Then gave up.

She whispered, "Please. It's all I want." Hopeless Bella. She closed her eyes. "Please."

It tipped my control. The pleading in her voice, hopeless, rejected cut me. I was causing her pain – again. I'd lived so long, abstaining from physical pleasure of any and all kinds, I knew the cost to me. I'd not thought about the cost she'd been paying. The male portion of me roared victoriously, almost drowning out the terror for the first time. The breath I took was ragged…but I was speechless, caught on the edge, trapped perfectly between two opposing desires. Tortured.

She peeked at my face and must have seen the uncertainty.

"Please?" she whispered again, further unbalancing me, pulling me over that edge, stoking the fire for her body, making it slowly stronger, pushing back the terror of hurting her. Her words tumbled out, seeing hope in my hesitation, and her heart rate kicked up again. "You don't have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn't work out right, well, then, that's that. Let's just try….only try. And I'll give you what you want. I'll marry you." If my heart had had a beat, it would've stopped, hearing the words I'd been waiting for. "I'll let you pay for Dartmouth and I won't even complain about the bribe to get me in. You can even buy me a car if that makes you happy! Just….please!" The word a tortured sob on her sweet lips.

I wrapped my arms around her, needing her to know how much I loved her. She'd just said she'd marry me. She'd be mine. But at what cost? Her words swirled around my head. Her body was innocently tempting mine, as I could feel every curve that touched me. My lips at her ear, I gave vent to the frustration I was feeling.

"This is unbearable. So many things I've wanted to give you – and this is what you decide to demand. Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?" I asked plaintively.

"Then don't refuse," she breathed.

Don't refuse. So simple.

"Please?" she asked breathlessly.

I lost my balance on the edge, and plunged into the abyss. I was caving, I had surrendered…and it felt so good. Once again, the human male, too long denied, reared up. Literally. And I found I didn't want to stop it.

"Bella…" My face tucked into her neck, I began brushing my lips slowly back an forth against the skin there. My god, she always smelled so good…but it was different now, it had little to do with a food smell. It slowly sank into my brain that it was an arousal scent. And in comparison, Bella's normal scent, as compelling as it was, had nothing on this scent. It carried its own power to incite, and it called directly to my body. Suddenly, the male animal and I were one – I could no longer separate myself from feelings too long deprived of release. And I never would again. Part of me healed in that fraction of a second - a part I'd never even realized had ever fractured. Her heart kicked frantically, as if it could sense what had happened to me. When next my face was nearest hers, she twisted suddenly in my arms and captured my lips with hers. The dam was broken. I took her face in my hands and allowed all my feelings to pour into the kiss, fear, need, love. Desperation. If kisses could have names, this kiss would've been christened with it. She trembled in my arms, desire blossoming further in her. When her heart was spluttering, I let her breathe, but continued to taste the skin on her throat, her collarbone. Her hands, sure now, moved to my shirt again and unbuttoned it. I let her – by the time she was done with the last button, I was craving her touch on me, her warmth. Her small hands explored my chest, leaving tendrils of heat that clawed deep. Her wild, aroused scent enveloped me. More, I almost moaned, envisioning about my hands doing the same to her. Then she pulled my face back to her with her hands and attacked my lips again. I cupped one hand around her face, and wrapped my other arm around her waist, pulling her closer to my body with all the strength I dared. Not nearly close enough for me. She squirmed her hands to the front of her shirt, trying to unbutton it. I realized then, if I saw her, if I actually looked upon the creamy skin of her breasts exposed (the way I'd been imagining it not just now but the many times I'd done since I'd fallen in love with her) I would be lost completely. And then all at once, my path was clear. She'd made it clear long ago, but, as some my recent actions exhibited, I can be quite the moron. I wasn't used to playing catch-up. The answer stared at me behind my eyes. Compromise. Our desires were not as irreconcilable as she thought. As I'd thought.

Step Three in the batter's box!

I captured her wrists gently and pulled them above her head, at the same time sinking her head into a pillow.

"Bella, would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?" I murmured, gently, so as not to alarm her, hurt her further.

It confused her. "Do you want to do that part?" she was breathless. And breathtaking.

"Not tonight."

"Edward, don't –," she began to argue. My stubborn Bella.

"I'm not saying no," I gently told her. "I'm just saying not tonight."

She brooded about that as her heart rate calmed.

"Give me one good reason why tonight is not as good as any other night."

I had to smile. "I wasn't born yesterday," obviously. I chuckled. "Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me" - my heart positively gloated! - "before you do any changing, but if I give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won't go skipping off to Carlisle in the morning? I am – clearly – now much less reluctant to give you what you want. Therefore…you first."

She huffed and glared. "I have to marry you first?" she demanded in disbelief.

"That's the deal – take it or leave it. Compromise, remember?"

Instead of letting her dwell on this (and perhaps have a tantrum for usurping her idea so blatantly), I decided that she needed some persuasion. Of the best – and worst – kind. I reclaimed her lips with mine, gently running my tongue along her top lip, tasting the most intoxicating wine, begging for more. Exquisite torture. This kiss would be named Coercion. Her breathing hitched and her mouth opened, giving the beggar at the door just enough to whet his appetite for more. When I let her breathe, she struggled for air, heart flying again.

"I think that's a really bad idea," she gasped.

I smirked. "I'm not surprised you feel that way. You have a one-track mind."

"How did this happen?" she grumbled. "I thought I was holding my own tonight – for once – and now all of a sudden –,"

"You're engaged," I finished victoriously.

"Ew! Please don't say that out loud!" Panicky Bella.

"Are you going back on your word?" I demanded. I pulled away a bit to scrutinize her face, smiling all the while. She glared back at me, not answering.

"Are you?" I asked again. Knowing I had her. Almost wanting to shake the answer out of her.

"Ugh!" she groaned. "No, I'm not. There. Are you happy now?"

I smiled joyously. "Exceptionally."

She groaned again.

"Aren't you happy at all?" I asked. Without letting her respond, I kissed her – Coercion again.

"A little bit," she admitted breathlessly, when I let up. "But not about getting married." I kissed her again.

"Do you get the feeling that everything is backward?" I couldn't help laughing quietly. "Traditionally, shouldn't you be arguing my side, and I yours?"

"There's not much traditional about you and me."

"True."

I kissed her once again, apparently not being able to separate my lips for long from this stunning angel who had just agreed to be my wife. Forever. 'I'll marry you' was on an endless loop in my head. Just why it was so important to me that we marry before experiencing each other's bodies was not something she needed to hear. I'd told her – I was that boy, and although my memories of being human were fuzzy and indistinct at best, I had been the boy who, knowing what and who he'd wanted, would do his damndest to get it. And this was the truth. But that wasn't the whole of it by a long shot. When I let her breathe, I moved my lips to her hand, kissing her palm, a particular favorite of mine.

"Look, Edward," she murmured, and there was a bit of a wheedle to her near-breathless voice. "I said I would marry you and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I'll sign a contract in my own blood."

Against the skin of her wrist, I muttered, "Not funny."

"What I'm saying is this – I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone – how often does that happen?" I had to smile at hearing my own words to myself from earlier. The wheedling continued. "And you've provided this very comfortable and large bed…"

"Not tonight."

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do." I reassured her.

She pulled my face back to hers with the hand I'd been kissing.

"Then what's the problem? It's not like you didn't know you were going to win in the end." She frowned. "You always win."

I tried not to laugh. "Just hedging my bets."

She apparently saw something different in my face, however. She always saw through me at the most inconvenient times. Here it comes. Eyes narrowed, she said suspiciously, "There's something else. Are you planning to go back on your word?"

"No," I solemnly promised her. "I swear to you, we will try. After you marry me." I tried to let the satisfaction of this show – and nothing else.

She laughed a bit glumly. "You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama – twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girls' virtue."

Damn. My eyes flitted briefly over her face, trying to understand how in the world she came to these little insights. Quickly – but not quick enough apparently - I dropped my head to her shoulder to flutter my lips over her collarbone, another of my favorites.

"That's it, isn't it?" she laughed once, so shocked it came out abruptly. "You're trying to protect your virtue!" She tried vainly to stifle an attack of the giggles.

"No, silly girl," I almost growled into her shoulder. "I'm trying to protect yours. And you're making it shockingly difficult."

"Of all the ridiculous -,"

"Let me ask you something," I cut her off. "We've had this discussion before, but humor me. How many people in this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life?" Since she caught me out, she'd hear all of it.

"Two," she responded immediately and fiercely.

"All right, maybe that's true. Now, there's a world full of dissention about this, but the vast majority seem to think that there are some rules that have to be followed."

Her eyes widened. "Vampire rules aren't enough for you? You want to worry about human rules, too?"

"It couldn't hurt," I said. "Just in case."

I continued. "Now, of course, it may be too late for me, even if you are right about my soul."

Angry Bella. "No, it isn't." Ah, my lioness…

"'Thou shalt not kill' is commonly accepted by most major belief systems. And I've killed a lot of people."

"Bad people," she insisted.

I shrugged. People are people, good or bad. "Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn't. But you haven't killed anyone -,"

"That you know of," she muttered. Silly Bella. I smirked.

"And I will do my best to keep you out of temptations way," I averred.

"Okay. But we weren't fighting about committing murder," she pointed out.

"The same principle applies – the only difference is that this is the one area in which I'm just as spotless as you. Can't I leave one rule unbroken?"

"One?"

"You know that I've stolen, I've lied, I've coveted…my virtue is all I have left." I grinned her favorite crooked grin.

"I lie all the time."

"Yes, but you're such a bad liar that it doesn't really count. No one ever believes you." I gave her an Eskimo kiss.

"I really hope that you're wrong about that – because otherwise Charlie is about to burst through that door with a loaded shotgun," she smirked.

"Charlie is happier when he pretends to swallow your stories. He'd rather lie to himself than look too closely." I grinned again.

"But what did you ever covet?" she asked curiously. "You have everything."

My grin sharpened. "I coveted you. I had no right to want you – but I reached out and took you anyway." I shook my head in mock horror. "And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire."

"You can't covet what's already yours," she stated firmly. "Besides, I thought it was my virtue you were worried about."

"It is. If it's too late for me… Well, I'll be damned – no pun intended – if I'll let them keep you out, too." Hopefully, that was it for her insights into my motives.

"You can't make me go somewhere you won't be. That's my version of hell," she declared. "Anyway, I have an easy solution to all this; let's never die, all right?"

She was spectacular – especially when she was trying to distract me. "Sounds simple enough. Why didn't I think of that?" I smiled happily at her, waiting.

With a huff, she said, "So that's it. You won't sleep with me until we're married."

Keeping it light, I replied, "Technically, I can't ever sleep with you, Bella."

Rolling her eyes, she said, "Very mature, Edward."

"But other than that detail, yes, you've got it right."

My earlier hope for no more insightfulness was squashed.

"I think you have an ulterior motive," she accused.

"Another one?" I asked innocently. Sheesh. Caught again.

"You know this will speed things up."

I tried not to smile, but I know it touched my lips. Maybe having her catch me like this wasn't as bad. Actually, I was finding it quite entertaining. "There is only one thing I want to speed up, and the rest can wait forever….but for that, it's true, your impatient human hormones are my most powerful ally at this point."

"I can't believe I'm going along with this. When I think of Charlie…and Renee! Can you imagine what Angela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear the gossip now."

I wondered a bit about this statement. She would be transformed – sooner than I'd wanted – into a ravenous creature that would want to drain her friends' bodies of blood as soon as look at them. She'd never be able to see them again – even if she could control herself and the thirst soon, the physical changes that the transformation wrought alone would breach our secret. Why did she care so much what they thought when she was willing to give them up forever so soon? My eyebrow raised itself at her. Then I noticed the worry crease in her forehead, and the fidgeting begin. I knew she didn't like to be the center of attention – last year's prom was proof of that. I decided to nip the anxiety in the bud. So far, Step Three was going fairly well – I didn't need her panic to interrupt it.

"It doesn't have to be a big production. I don't need any fanfare. You won't have to tell anyone or make any changes. We'll go to Vegas – you can wear old jeans, and we'll go to the chapel with the drive-through window. I just want it to be official – that you belong to me and no one else".

For a second, I didn't know if she'd really catch that and the many layers that lay underneath those last three words; she'd seen through everything else tonight, laying all my motivations bare. I held my breath, and tried in vain to push the thoughts aside, but they were central to my intentions. And I'd allowed this to slip out – my hopes and fears. The fear, of course, was the thorn of Jacob Black, who seemed to relish pushing his fantasies and his pain onto Bella. My Bella. Who was – thankfully, for now – seemingly unaware of her own potential feelings for him. But that could change….and if tying herself to me in the most important way possible could put some distance in that relationship, I was all for it. To be fair (but I was finding it increasingly hard to be fair, especially in his presence – and I'd warned him, did I not, that I wouldn't be playing fair?), I knew Jacob was only under the same spell I was – captivated by Bella. Not that getting her away from the dog was my only motivation to marry her; I'd been planning the proposal for months, entertaining my self during my nights with her sleeping next to me, imagining my ring on her finger. Marrying her would be the best part of my too long life. This was the other layer of my slip – the hope that she'd choose me and bind herself to me in the most important way, the way that made it clear that she loved me as much as I loved her. And she'd consented! She would be mine! But the mutt was making her life more difficult every time she turned around – probably part of his plan, of course – and causing her more pain. Intolerable. However, I'd accepted my responsibility for his part in her life – although Bella refused to blame me – and now here, in front of me, were the consequences of my wrong choices. The jealousy was mine to bear, and burned me more than I allowed Bella to see, but was still due to my actions last September. All right. I would never make that mistake again; our choices make our lives – or existences - and I was choosing to fight. I'd chosen my course that day in front of her house - the day she'd broken her hand trying to punch him - almost without planning to, I'd told him I'd fight for her, when up to then, I'd been wrestling with the problem of thinking he was a better, healthier choice for her. Now I knew; the choice was hers and I would never again try and take myself out of the equation. All this passed through my head in less than a second – after all, it'd been on my mind for months.

For once, she didn't hear past the words. Maybe – please! - she'd reached her limit tonight…. "It couldn't be more official than it already is", she grumbled but looked slightly mollified, thinking she wouldn't have to have a "Big Day" and perform in front of a crowd, probably. My poor, inhibited Bella. Or perhaps she was so distracted by the thought of actually getting married, the words didn't mean much to her. I almost sighed in relief.

I smiled complacently. "We'll see about that. I suppose you don't want your ring now?"

She almost gulped in panic. "You suppose correctly," she quickly replied.

"That's fine. I'll get it on your finger soon enough." I was jubilant with victory.

She glared at me. "You talk like you already have one."

Unashamed joy washed through me. "I do." Such small words make up our lives, don't they? I was practicing already. "Ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness."

"You're unbelievable." Incredulous Bella.

"Do you want to see it?" I couldn't keep the excitement out of my voice. I'd been envisioning my ring on her for so long now, it was almost excruciating to think it was so close to happening.

"No!" she just about shouted. My joy ebbed. She saw it and took a deep breath. "Not unless you really want to show me," she amended, trying to spare my feelings. But I heard her teeth scrape together.

"That's all right," I shrugged it off, not wanting to provoke her further. "It can wait." I had waited this long…

She sighed and said reluctantly, "Show me the damn ring, Edward."

"No." Damn ring, indeed. Apparently, my hopes earlier about her accepting gifts more easily were unfounded. However, I kept the petulance out of my face and eyes.

I didn't count on her newfound discovery – pleading. She quietly asked, "Please?" She touched my face with her fingertips, her warmth spreading, reminding me of her lips against mine…. "Please can I see it?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. My miscalculation – letting her know how much power she had over me with that one little word - was going to cost me. Inwardly, I shrugged. I'd pay it gladly. Again and again. "You are the most dangerous creature I've ever met," I muttered. However, I wasn't going to pass up this opportunity – it may be the only one I'd get, knowing her. I got up from the bed and knelt next to the bedside table, taking out the little black box that had been waiting for this moment for – well, for her. For a century. Climbing back on the bed, I settled next to her with an arm about her shoulders. I balanced the little box carefully on her knee. However, I wasn't forgetting her reluctance.

"Go ahead and open it," I said brusquely, letting her know I'd been a little stung.

She brushed her hand over it almost unwillingly. "You didn't spend a lot of money, did you? Lie to me if you did." I recalled her explanation of not wanting gifts from me a few weeks ago; she continued to regard our relationship as out of balance, as if she didn't deserve so much more than me. Ridiculous Bella.

"I didn't spend anything. It's just another hand-me-down," I assured her. "This is the ring my father gave to my mother."

"Oh." She blushed a little. Guilty because her preconceived notion was nonsensical? Or because she saw that this ring could have importance to me? My Bella, the quandary. She still hesitated.

I made my tone playful. "I suppose it's a little outdated. Old-fashioned, just like me. I can get you something more modern. Something from Tiffany's".

This motivated her – she still didn't want me spending money on her. "I like old-fashioned things." And she opened the box.

The gold and diamond ring glittered in the box against the black satin. I watched Bella's reaction to seeing it – the long oval set with slanting rows round stones, caught in a delicate gold web. She stared at it for a moment, completely still, eyes big, then her fingers brushed over the sparkling stones.

"It's so pretty," she almost sighed.

"Do you like it?" Oh, the hope that bounded around in my chest…she did! But of course, I wasn't supposed to see that.

"It's beautiful. What's not to like?" she tried for nonchalance. Funny Bella. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"See if it fits." Her left hand made a fist. I sighed.

"Bella, I'm not going to solder it to your hand. Just try it on so that I can see if it needs to be sized. Then you can take it right off." Thanking whoever was listening that she didn't break her left hand on the mutt's jaw.

"Fine," she grumbled. Bella reached for the ring, but I beat her to it. I took her left hand in mine and slid the ring onto her middle finger, searing the image and the action into my brain. I held her hand out and the ring caught the light, sending sparkles against her skin.

"A perfect fit," I said as indifferently as I could. "That's nice – saves me a trip to the jewelers'." I didn't fool her. She stared into my eyes for long minute.

"You like that, don't you?" she almost accused, fluttering her fingers.

"Sure," I said casually. "It looks very nice on you." My ring on her finger. Yes.

She stared at me for another long minute. Looking into her eyes, I couldn't help but think, my Bella, Mrs. Cullen. Mine forever. The nonchalance dropped from my face and I was smiling ecstatically, my joy overpowering my wish to remain cool. Her breathing hitched, seeing it. The urgency and passion were sudden and absolute. I captured her face in my hands again and attacked her lips. I would never have enough of the taste of her, the feel of her. When her heart was racing and I had to let her breathe, I bent to her ear, my breath as ragged as hers.

"Yes, I like it. You have no idea."

She laughed. "I believe you."

I was determined to do this correctly. We may not be a traditional couple, and we may not actually have a wedding ceremony (a regret, yes, but when weighed against the end result – that Bella would be my wife, no matter the lack of ritual - it was a small one), but I would do at least this traditionally. Step Four.

"Do you mind if I do something?" I asked.

"Anything," she replied easily. I slid away from her and off the bed.

"Anything but that," she complained at my absence. I have to admit, hearing her voice her need for me was so much more than just pleasant. It was intoxicating. So this is what drunk feels like…

I took her hands and pulled her to her feet as well. Placing my hands on her shoulders, I looked at her seriously, pulling myself together.

"Now, I want to do this right. Please, please, keep in mind that you've already agreed to this, and don't ruin it for me." I'd swear at times that my girl – fiancé! - didn't have a romantic bone in her body.

I dropped to one knee in front of her.

"Oh, no," she gasped.

"Be nice," I muttered. How can someone be so predictable and so surprising at the same time? I heard her take a deep calming breath.

"Isabella Swan?" I looked up at her, claiming her eyes with my own. She looked at me with a mixture of panic and love, her pupils huge. I hoped – prayed! – that the love would win out. "I promise to love you forever – every single day of forever. Will you marry me?" I held my breath.

She stared down at me, emotions flying across her face and in her eyes almost too quickly for me to catch. Adoration, panic, anger, shock, love…. For once, my prayers were answered. The love won out.

"Yes."

"Thank you." I took her left hand in mine and kissed each of her fingertips before I kissed the ring on her finger.

Maybe, just maybe, since this angel had chosen me, had healed me, I was not forsaken.