Leather and Pop Rocks

A/N: Little vignette got its breath from a silly idea mentioned to another writer: hoping to do some cheering up of her own post S1 finale and not wanting to play second trumpet to Lucifer's Devil's Food salve Maze gets Trix a leather jacket that matches one of her own. What could possibly go wrong?

[ - ]

Chloe, her mother and daughter had brought Dan back to the house for a brief celebratory reunion after his release pending hearing…and as soon as Chloe saw who all was waiting for them with what she was fairly certain she wanted to head straight back to the courthouse to make her own murderous confession simpler. Might not even waste time spreading out plastic before dumping the bodies in the trunk.

"You have GOT to be kidding me. There is no way…is this a joke?" Chloe was torn between the ecstatic squeals of her daughter and total disgust at her reason for them.

Her newly-minted recovering kidnap victim daughter. Her eight-year-old daughter wearing a black leather jacket with rips and chains in all the wrong places. A mini-version of the one draped over the demon's arm as she leaned in the doorframe of Chloe's living room, watching her first real friend lose her tiny mortal mind. Maze wasn't sure if her own pointy grin was fueled more by the reaction from the child or her mother. Probably both equal measure. Maybe she should've had more pockets added for some weaponry. Age and gender-appropriate of course. Butterfly knives, natch.

"I assure you, Detective, Maze isn't known for her sense of humor. However, she IS known for her quick temper. Particularly if she feels slighted. Perhaps you want to let this one go…you know, as you do so many other things, hmm? And it's not as if she got her the matching chaps…I believe my demon's are arseless, so that might prove a bit drafty on the playground…."

"LUCIFER! That is completely inappropriate!"

"Right, I know. Which is why Maze didn't have those done…honestly, please do try to keep with the thread of the conversation. Makes me fear for your wits and I'm afraid you'll need all of them soon enough." Slightly pensive sigh here. The two in the kitchen turned down the heat on the sotto voce discussion when Trixie ran in, proudly modeling her new wares. Chloe thought she looked like a degenerate pygmy Los Diablos mascot. On crack.

"Mommy! MOM! Lookit! Maze says I look tough! Like a ninja!"

"Great, monkey." Hoping the demon wouldn't teach her daughter anything about that particular skill set and knowing full well the improbable two would both love that opportunity. The little girl tore out of the room to twirl again in front of her very amused grandmother and Dan as Maze smirked gleefully over her head.

Chloe's forehead creased as she looked at the vapid expression on her ex's face. Dan was probably so thrilled to be out on arraignment he'd not act parent-ish at all, leaving any discipline up to her. Again. Shocker.

The man in question was thinking that the last time he'd tangled with Maze his fashion options were far worse. He still wasn't sure if he was more embarrassed that he'd wound up wearing an N'SYNC T-shirt of Chloe's or that he'd been married to someone who still owned one. Regardless, he was happy to be out, even if the situation…several of them…was up in the air. Starting with the one fifteen feet away. He watched the (heated…exactly how?) rapport between Chloe and Lucifer in the kitchen, wondering exactly what that "working" relationship entailed and thinking there was likely no way to ask that did not involve his ex dismembering him. Malcolm's very illustrative hand gestures describing his take on that partnership stuck in his mental craw like a splintered chicken bone. Swallowing a bit, then resurfacing with a recalibrating grin as Penny pressed a drink into his hand. Yes please to that, thank you VERY much.

"I hope she doesn't think that ridiculous thing will actually protect her." Chloe put her balled fist up to her chin as she crossed her arms, fingertips nervously tapping on her elbow. Trixie in danger…still such a horrifying concept.

"Security isn't necessary what you have, darling. It's what you feel you do. And she likes it, so where's the harm in that? Seems denying oneself simple pleasures does not run in your family after all." He heaved a small sigh of appreciation in Penelope's direction. The glamourous woman was lovingly gazing at Trixie's joy while sampling the chocolate and cherries in front of her. Sipping from the glass of wine in her hand…and only 11AM. Sharing more libations with Maze and Detective Dou…Espinoza. Riiiight. Lucifer's dark eyes narrowed slightly: jury still out on that man, pending human one and otherwise. Gaze softening again as he looked at Penny. Clearly this woman knew how to enjoy herself. Where had the detective gone off the skids? "Your own mother and daughter know how to get what they desire out of life…what happened to you?"

"Nothing 'happened' to me." How could he make not behaving like a depraved idiot sound like a deficit?

"Right. I know. That's the problem. Nothing splendidly nonsensical has and will continue to happen and by the looks of things will keep up with 'nothing happening' until you get that infernal rod pried out of your…"

"LUCIFER….I'm warning you…"

"Oh please, with what? Dirty looks? Cuffs: fisti or handi? Firearms? 'Fraid you'll need something more interesting to tantalize me with seeing as we've been through all those already…particularly the last. Feh." He shuddered, Chloe unsure if it was in mock disgust or not.

She sighed. He was impossible.

Lucifer sighed at her sigh. He already knew this.

And he really needed her to get a grip as those events he and Amenadiel feared were nearly upon them. Their mother was here, on this earthly plane; he could feel it.

And it did not feel good.

Chloe looked over at her partner suddenly staring nowhere pensively, rim of his own untouched tumbler moored at his mouth, unaware he'd been abruptly transported to that new place in his thoughts. That resulted in the expression she'd only seen after he'd been shot by Malcolm. He was holding something back from her…she just wasn't sure what. Of course, this was the same man who'd avoided her for weeks after only a short conversation on vulnerability, so Chloe was torn between pressing him on the issue and letting it go until he was ready. For all his verbosity he had distinct talent for saying absolutely nothing with a lot of words when he wanted to. That or a good old fashioned 6'3" skulk around the barriers of good manners. He had the most deafening silence ever.

Lucifer blinked a few times and raised his eyebrows as he took a large swallow of Penelope's good taste. He felt the detective evaluating him, and that just wouldn't do. Not quite yet.

Apparently from her intensifying stare, Chloe did not agree.

Bloody hell, but that woman could be insufferable. Emphasis of curiosity in all the wrong places. If she thought he'd divulge this potentially horrifying Gordian family knot without her better understanding of one of the predominant members of said family; him obviously, she was crazier than Malcolm had been. Time to shake that tick loose. "Something on your mind Detective? Perhaps me in that pair of incomplete leather trousers?"

The faint red mark newly blooming on her temple meant he was fairly certain she'd just given herself a mild concussion. Or needed a V-8. Badly, by the looks of it.

Saving the day with disastrous grace as only kids can, Trixie bounced back in. "Look! It has lots of zips and pockets and ooohhhh….what's this?" Holding a small leather pouch chained to an inside pouch.

"Ah. Wallet, I believe."

Trixie peered inside. With a purposefully flat voice she made the observation that it was empty. Lucifer, quite pleased for the distraction rectified that immediately from his own billfold. At Chloe's blustering stutter of embarrassment, dark eyes from tall and tiny both gave her the same blank 'what, who me?' look which sent her reeling out of the kitchen to sit on the couch with her mother. Not exactly a safe haven as Penelope's indulgent smile did NOT include her daughter's inability to lighten the hell up. As if there was anything light about that place. Or its residents. Especially the newly mobile one.

Chloe further groaned into her palms when Trixie discovered a few little treats inside some of the other pockets. Candy. Like she wasn't wired enough already.

"WOW! Pop rocks! Vintage! That's so cool!"

"My favorite…so much fun. Especially when you…uh…if you…" Maze hummed these words out almost smoothly, taking in Lucifer's suddenly pointed stare and amending her statement. "Well – the kind we like are just a little different flavored than those…still good though."

The two other generations of Decker women traveled further toward the periphery of their respective axis: lifetime-honed gleeful appreciation for indulgence and habitual consternation.

Even Dan, man of the hour just stared holes into the right kneecap of his pants through the empty glass he badly wanted refilled. What was the world coming to?

The world, always one for showing up drunk, disheveled and definitively uninvited to a party answered with suddenly darkening skies outside the windows and a deafening thunderclap.

Fallen archangel and demon exchanged a tense look.

Oh, it was on now.