I don`t own Twilight

Authors Note:

The first paragraph is a summary of the things that happened after the Cullens left. I didn`t know how to write it better, but it is important to know and understand the following situation.

They had gone to the Denali-Clan first but for Edwards and Jaspers depression weren't able to stay there for long. Edward was a mess after leaving his love and Jasper felt responsible for it. On top of it the guilt tortured his mind for attacking Bella in the first place and second what pain and hurt it had brought with it. Of course no one really told him that but he could feel the disappointment Carlisle and everyone even Alice had.

So he and Edward somehow are in a vicious circle. Since he is not only depressed himself but also can feel the sad and depressing feelings of the others mostly Edwards he isn't really able to keep it together and calm down. Therefore his negative vibes flows around to the others and make them even more depressed.

The Denalis can't take it any longer and ask Carlisle to go. They feel bad about it of course but they just can't stand the tension any more. So the Cullens leave making Jasper even worse since he now has more to blame on him.

Jasper becomes more and more a loner like Edward especially after he feels Edward starting to blame Jasper for what happens. But the worst is that he feels Alice distancing herself more and more from him. She spends less and less time with him and he can feel her feelings for him changing. First he thinks it is because his depression and the negative vibes he sents to everyone that is around him but one day he stumbles over discussion Alice has with Edward and discovers the truce.

Everyone besides the three of them had gone to a hunting trip and Jasper had just come home from a long walk in the woods when he could hear them talk.

He could hear Alice trying to smooth Edwards mood and Edwards anger. He is surprised by that because normally the only emotion he has is pain and blame and like they say, curiousity kills the cat. In this case, Jasper.

That where the story startes.

"I just can't understand what his problem is!" Edwards snarled.

"It is just hard for him considering his former life!" Alice tries to explain.

"But that's just it! It had been over 40 years now, Alice! It shouldn't be so hard any more!"

"You know he tries, Edward, you have to give him some credit!"

"Giving him credit?" He shouts his voice dropping with anger. "He nearly killed her! It was just one drop and he launched for her without hesitation! If I wouldn't have been able to read his thoughts he would have ripped her in pieces before any of us could have done anything! Even you didn't see it coming!"

Another wave of blame and depression rolled over him and he couldn't compose if it was his own or came from them.

"You know he is sorry! He truly suffers you know that! Everyone does!"

"Yeah, he should be! I can't understand how he even is able to show his face!"

"It's not like he would do that a lot, Edward! He keeps to himself the way you do more and more! He punishes himself!"

"He deserves to be punished! I can't understand how all of you just go on and forgive him again and again!"

Another wave of indefinable feelings hit Jasper and he knew they came from Alice but he couldn't read them any more. Alice feelings have been more and more confusing and difficult to read the last months. It bothers him not to know what was going on with his mate. All he hoped that time will change it again.

"You have to stop beating yourselves up about what happened! It was not your fault, Edward! I hate seeing you like this! It hurts me, too, you know!"

Her voice was full of compassion and love and it hurted him to feel her emotions directed at Edward. But he was her brother after all and Alice always had felt a great deal about him so he pushed his jealousy aside.

"I loved her Alice! Without her it is like I lost my purpose in life!"

Ok, this was unexpected and there was no confusion in her emotions. Alice felt jealous and hurt by his statement.

"I am alone again!" Edward stated.

"No you are not!" He could feel her debating with herself before she continued. "We are all here for you! I am here for you!"

There was hope in the room. Hope and something else, love. And it was not in a brotherly way. It came from both of them even so Edwards still was clouded. Jasper started to get angry.

`What was going on?`

"We could be like we were before she came along!"

"What about Jasper?"

`Yeah, what about me?` Jasper screamed inside. Suddenly a wave of awareness hit him from Edward.

`Shit, he had heard my thoughts.` But he reckon what came next. A wave of hate, blame and cruelness hit him and he could feel the wish of revenge lingering in the air.

"Jasper was there before, too! He is still part of the family!" Alice voice cut through him like knives.

He could hear Edwards snarl towards him.

`Was he doing this on purpose? Did he want me to hear?`

"Family? You don't put your family through so much pain again and again if you truly feel that way! So he feels sorry for what he did, but he inflicts it on all of us too! He isn't even able to control his power any more! Look what he is causing this family besides his numerously blunders!"

Jasper was sure now that Edward was speaking more to him than to Alice. He manipulated the situation hoping to hurt him. But Jasper couldn't move. He needed to know what was going on needed to hear Alice's reaction and he had the feeling he wouldn't if he didn't stay put. And Edward seemed to know and count on that. Did he hate him that much?

He could feel Alice was torn inside. She fought to come to a decision but it apparently was quite hard for her.

`At least something`

"He makes everything even harder by his staying, Alice! I need you to get over this and I know you do feel the same way. And I cant stand this any more! He rips our family apart, he rips us apart and I think" Edward hesitated for a second but Jasper knew it wasn't real, he was playing.

"I think he should leave. It would be the best for all of us!"

There was a shock and he could feel Alice struggle but it didn't take long, not quite as long as he would have wished before there was defeat and surrender.

"Maybe!"

Her voice was just a whisper but it hit him full force. He could feel his hearth shutter under it. Could feel an endless wave of pain and betrayal rip through his body and tear him apart. Of course he had sensed that something was up with Alice, that something had changed between them, but he had always thought they would get over it. Always believed and trusted in her. What an idiot he had been.

"But you know Carlisle and Esme wouldn't …"

He wasn't able to restrain himself any longer. Wasn't capable to listen to any more. Before Alice could finish her sentence the door was crashed open by him revealing one shocked and one expected face.

"Don't bother with the others! I'll make it easy for you!" His voice revealed the pain he was in and he hated himself for it.

He could feel Edward was pleased with the situation and if Jasper wouldn't be completely broken by his wife's betrayal he would have probably ripped him in pieces.

"Jasper.." Alice voice was ashamed and defeated.

"Since when?"

Her gaze dropped to the floor and shame and sorrow poured out of her.

"Tell me!" He commanded. "You could at least be honest with me now!"

"Since you two joined us!" Edward finally revealed. Alice shot him an angry look but Edward whipped it away.

"He deserves to know Alice!"

`Right, as if you would care` He spat at him in his mind but Edward just shrug his shoulders.

"What about Bella? I thought you loved her?!"

"Don't you dare talk about her!" Edward hissed at him.

"So what, you two had a fall out? Took some time apart? And then she came along? Did you use her to make her jealous?" Jasper nodded at Alice disgusted. She wasn't even able to look at him. But Edward jumped to his feet furious!

"Leave her out of this! Not that it would be any of your business anyway!" He hissed and Jasper could sense the anger leaping off him.

"I do love her! This.." He pointed between Alice and himself "this is different! Bella was my life, she still is! I never betrayed or lied to her!"

`Like my wife did with me?` He couldn't control his bitterness but he felt that Edward was honest when it came to Bella. He truly had loved her, did it still. So what was the deal with the two of them? Had it be a fling, was it just sex? He didn't understand it, but did it really matter? Alice hurt and jealousy caught up with him again and he snarled.

"Does it hurt hearing him talk about her this way?"

She winced at his cruel words.

"Jasper, please understand…."

"Keep it Alice! I don't want to hear anything from you!"

"I do love you, but.."

"I said keep it!" Jasper snarled at her vicious. He could smell Alice fear and hurt but didn't care and snorted towards her.

"Have a nice life!" He finally told them bitter. "And don't you dare to use your power! I don't want anything to do with you in any way!" With that he turned around and left. There was nothing here for him any more.

The next days were just a blur for Jasper. He drove around in his car without destination and didn't so much as acknowledge his surroundings. He had stopped a few times to hunt but besides that he just drove letting his depression, hurt and some times anger get the better of him.

`How could I have been so stupid? How could I haven`t ever realized it? I am an empath for gods sake! My power is to feel and read emotions how could I never even suspect something like that? And what has "that" been anyway?`

He knew Alice had loved him, maybe not so strong like he had her, he always had known that but it had been enough for him. She had been his mate and he hers and he would have done anything for her to keep her.

`Would it be enough again?`

He asked himself but shrugged it away.

`Pathetic!`

`She betrayed you! She lied to you the whole time sneaking behind your back! How could you ever trust her again! And with your brother of all people!`

` Well, a brother you wouldn't have without her!`

His mind argued back.

He thought about his life he had before her and how much it had changed the second she came into it. She had given him a purpose, had given him a home and a family! Had given him love, something and someone to love! She had given him hope!

What would he do without her now? Without all of them? And how would he be able to keep to this way of life without them restraining him without their help?

`No, stop it! Don't you dare crawl back to her after what she had done!`

Jasper needed to think. He needed to get some perspective again, needed to work out some issues first.

He hit the breaks and brought his car to a stop on the side of the road. Letting his head fall back in his seat he took a deep breath.

Where should he go to now? Maybe he should find out where he was first. He looked around and somehow recognized the region. He had been here before.

Then a red truck fell into his eyes.

Oh, yes, he knew this truck and he defiantly knew the scenery. There weren't much people who drove a truck like that. In fact, he doubted there were any who did any more. After all he was always surprised that it was still working. The mechanic who had kept it going must be quite a professional.

But what was she doing here? In the woods? Probably alone? He doubted this would be safe especially considering her amazing talent to attracted danger and accidents.

Before he realized what he was doing he had stepped outside and followed her scent.