The LOTR Fanatics Plaza (an awesome website) had a caption contest for a photo of Bilbo and Gollum in the cave, Gollum wearing a Santa Claus hat. Although I don't own LOTR, I replied with this:
'Twas the night before Fishmas, and deep underground
Only one creature stirred, and he made not a sound
He'd returned from a trip to a land far away
Bearing with him a sack of unusual prey
His children lay sleeping in goblin-skin beds
While visions of octopi danced in their heads
When all of a sudden a hobbit in green
Came tramping quite noisily onto the scene
"What's this?" he said. "Gollum? You're wearing a hat!"
"And a rather ridiculous headpiece at that!"
"Go away," Gollum hissed, his eyes filled with green light
"We needs quiet in here, for it's Fishmasss tonight"
"Fishmas? Like Christmas? Hey, Christmas is great!
Can I join you? I just love to help decorate"
"No, no! Go away, or the children will wake!
We hass a theatrical entrance to make!"
But it was too late. There were jubilant cries
As the children came bounding with radiant eyes
To pounce on him, squealing "Oh Dad, you iss back!"
And all kinds of sea creatures poured from the sack
His mate slipped from the shadows, web-footed and sleek
"Welcome home, precious one," she said, kissing his cheek
"And young Baggins here too," baring fangs in a smile
"Won't you join uss for Fisshmass? Please stay here awhile"
They all feasted on treasures plucked from a far sea
Bilbo sat with a Gollum-child on each knee
He was heard to pronounce, with a grin on his face:
"Merry Fishmas to all of the great Gollum race!"