Sephiroth's Second Life Trial Chapter 1

Cast in this chapter

Aeris, Loz, Yazoo, Kadaj, Tonberry, Moogle, Sephiroth, Jenova(minor).

Director: Me, the Author.

Author's Note: These our the outakes of my fanfic 'SEPHIROTH'S SECOND LIFE TRIAL'. Which you should've read before this. But still, decently funny. Hope you enjoy.

Darkness. Darkness everywhere. No matter how hard they looked, or where they looked, all they could see was darkness. Then, FLASH, balloons and ribbons spread all over.

"CUT," I shouted getting up from my chair. "WHO PUT BALLOONS ON THIS SCENE."

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They four men noticed that they were chained up in gummy bears.

"WHAT THE? CUT," I shouted again. "God, send me stage managers.

"Sephiroth," said Kadaj. "I guess- BURP."

I threw my director hat on the ground. "What was that?"

The entire stage crew was laughing.

"Sorry boss," said Kadaj laughing loudly. "Guess I shouldn't have had that burrito for lunch huh?"

"Let's try it again."

They set up again.

"Sephiroth," said Kadaj. "I guess...uh...LINE."

I threw my hand to my head. "Alright, strike one. Let's try again."

They set up once again.

"Sephiroth," said Kadaj. "I guess you didn't win the lottery huh?"

I threw the script in the air. "One...more...time."

"Sephiroth," said Kadaj. "I guess you didn't win against Cloud."

I smiled.

"Too bad, I put 7000 gil on you."

I got up from my seat and charged Kadaj. "I'LL KILL YOU."

Kadaj was running from me while smiling and laughing.

Sephiroth turned his head, facing his three clones. "Mother has chosen to abandon us" said Sephiroth. "Were orphans, who will be like that guy in that book who asked 'May I have some ore.'"

"For god sakes, GO BY THE SCRIPT," I shouted standing up. "Let's try again."

They set up again.

Sephiroth turned his head, facing his three clones. "Mother has chosen to sew the Lifestream, she won't win, we'll be poor and out of a job."

"Your going to be if you don't get this script right," I said while scratching the wood on my chair. "One more time."

They set up again.

Sephiroth turned his head, facing his three clones. "Mother has chosen to abandon-."

"Pikachu," came the voice of a yellow mouse.

"Who let the mouse on this set?" I said looking around. "This is the Final Fantasy VII section, NOT THE POKEMON SECTION. Alright, everyone, he's our dinner."

Everyone starts chasing the mouse. Sephiroth sitting down with his three clones and having some tea.

"You know, I don't get paid enough for this," said Sephiroth through another sip.

"Alright, cue the crowd shouting scene. AND, ACTION."

The crowd was shouting the word 'BIG MAC' over and over again, until the large moogle raised it's hand in the air causing silence instantly.

"No McDonalds, Geez."

"I know that you all want these four to be guilty, however," said the Moogle with dread in that last word. "They must show us their baby pictures. Now, Sephiroth, let's see yours."

"CUUUUUUUUUT," I shouted loudly. "Why me? Listen Moogle." I stopped when I saw Sephiroth chasing the Moogle around with Masamune in hand. "Never mind, I'm enjoying this."

"Alright, blaming Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz, ACTION."

"Do you, Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz, admit in torturing humans, poisoned children, killing innocent humans, and reviving JENOVA, Kupo?" said the Moogle in a angry tone.

Just then the stage doors opened up with Garnet from Final Fantasy IX marching through them angrily. Kadaj saw this and ran behind Sephiroth.

"Where is he?" asked Garnet in my face.

"Buzz off girl, I'm doing a fanfic," I responded.

She grabbed me by the jacket and put in the air as high as she could. "What did you say?"

"Nothing," I said in fear. "Who, and why do you need to see this person?"

She put down, roughly. "I need to see Kadaj."

"What's he done," asked Sephiroth smirking.

"That's none of your conce-," she stopped when she looked at Sephiroth. "Hi Sephy poo."

Sephiroth's expression turned to annoyance in a second.

"How would you like to be the father of the child that I'm carrying?"

Everyone froze, no sound was made. Sephiroth side stepped to reveal a terrified Kadaj.

"YOU, YOU GOT ME PREGNANT," shouted Garnet running after him.

"Didn't see that coming," said Sephiroth.

"Well, due to the injury of Kadaj," I said pointing to Kadaj who was in a wheelchair, cast over his right arm, eye patch over his left, bandages all over his body and a blood infuser thing added to him. "Well, we won't have any more practice so go home everybody. Oh, and Kadaj," Kadaj looked at him painfully, "Be a good father."

Everyone roared with laughter.