AN: Ok, so. I opened fic requests on tumblr to get some writing prompts to get back into the habit of at least writing a little bit each day, and an anon gave me the song 'Take The Bullets Away' by We The Humans, and suggest that it would make a good basis for a Gabby-saves-Xena fic. Now, I know it's been done a dozen times, but Gabrielle saving Xena in that first episode is such an amazing moment, once you realize what it actually all means, so I decided to go with that. Plus, it was the scene that fit the song the best. So, Anon and everyone else, I hope you all enjoy reading!
Disclaimer: I do not own Xena.
Every day of her life since she had left Amphipolis had been a gamble.
Xena had known this, had known that, most likely, her end would come at the end of a sword when the dice finally landed against her. Something she was alright with- it was a worthy way to go, a warrior in battle, fighting for what she wanted. Depending on who ended up having the greater claim on her soul, she could end up in Tartarus, Valhalla, Eternity with the Amazons- the first was the most likely, where she would burn for the men she had murdered and the lives she had destroyed, but still. Chances she was willing to take.
The odds against her only increased when she was driven away by her own army, the constant protection of men she had at least imagined as loyal now no longer available to her. Joining Hercules and Iolaus had decreased them a bit- traveling with known heroes who could proclaim her change of heart to any who cringed at the sight of her made it that much less likely the people she was trying to help would attempt to murder her in her sleep. Not that they would have succeeded, but even an old farmer could get lucky every once in a while.
And when you were gambling with your life, for anyone who had tried would have found themselves on the end of her sword, you took measures to make sure your own odds were the highest they could be.
She left because of that- Hercules and Iolaus were her friends, the first true ones she had had since she had left Lao Ma's side, since she had carried Akimi's urn into town, and she couldn't keep putting them in danger from the people they were supposed to be protecting. It wasn't obvious, at least not to them. Neither of them, good, kind hearted men, had noticed they were even targets. She removed the poisoned wine the innkeeper tried to slip to them all while the two of them were distracted by tavern bard; she unarmed the band of village boys who were trying to hunt them far from the camp, ensuring no noise would reach the men as she did what needed to be done to get them all, attackers and attacked, out alive; she caught the arrows heading right towards them and threw them to the side, Hercules and Iolaus blissfully unaware of just how close to death they had come.
All because of her. And while the two could take care of themselves easily, each attempt she had kept them ignorant of had been perpetrated by other innocents, people who had hated her with all good reason. So she had left to protect them, to allow them to continue on their own path to redemption for their own sins without her destroying the relationship they had with the common people.
She took her gamble, stacked the odds even higher against her and, almost hoping the dice would finally fall, she left to go home.
Despite what she said to them, promising to take care of herself, to walk the path of the light until they saw each other again, Xena had been sure this would be their last good bye. She would go home to her mother, leave Argo with her so the horse would have a good life, hopefully put to rest the anger and hatred between them, and then she would be done.
Whether it was by her own sword or that of someone else desperate enough to fight against the Warrior Princess, the former Destroyer of Nations, the Conqueror- after she saw her mother and made her peace, she was done.
And perhaps that was how she was destined to find redemption. Perhaps all of Hercules' fancy, child-like promises of redemption were possible, but not for her.
For her, she needed the fires of Tartarus and an eternity to set herself free.
She stopped to bury her gear a valley over, just a day's ride from home. She might be a warrior, but being a warrior was why she had been driven out of Amphipolis in the first place. She didn't need them thinking she was there to once again to lead their loved ones into battle, didn't need them looking at her and knowing exactly what her sins were.
Her leathers and sword proclaimed the blood on her hands, stated just how filthy she actually was no matter how much she washed, and she didn't need that reminder for the first lives she had ruined as she went to ask for their forgiveness.
The Fates were strange, though. Just moments after she had finished burying her gear, just seconds after she had come to terms with the past she was leaving behind in that tiny little forest, that past was needed. She had to fight to protect the group of villagers who were being hunted, try and save at least few innocent souls from being taken by Draco's slavers, and from there her carefully crafted plan went downhill.
She had to don the leathers, don the armor, once again attach the sword and chakram to her hips. After she had left behind the little village (and the strange young woman who had become so fascinated with her, who had said almost the exact same words Akimi had said to her all those years ago, who was almost disarming in the way she was soft and fierce and looked up to her as if she was, truly, a hero instead of the criminal she was), she had to ride to her home, every inch the warrior she was. She had to go back to the people she had originally been cast away from and ask them to, once again, follow her into battle.
She knew what she was doing this time- she had over a decade of war under her belt now; she was no longer the young girl taking up a sword to protect her home who had no idea what she was getting into. If they would just listen, just trust her, let her put her expertise to use, they could win with almost no deaths, perhaps not even that many injuries. She knew Draco, knew his weaknesses and his strengths, and she could do this.
She could protect them.
Standing there, forcing her face to hold its blank stare as they talked about stoning her, Xena wondered if, just maybe, this was finally her end. Not by her own hand, not by the hands of an enemy, but if the dice had finally fallen so it would be her own family, her own loved ones, who would give her the end of a criminal she deserved.
She was too far gone for forgiveness, and perhaps this, ending it where it began, would be justice.
Except then there was that girl. Xena had never thought she's be stupid enough to follow, hadn't even believed such brazen rashness could be possible, but there she was- standing between her and a couple dozen angry villagers, talking them out of caving in her head. A gift with words- she would make a great bard, one day, if she ever received the experience and opportunity.
Their entire stay, the woman, Gabrielle, barely left her side. Even when Xena thought she had lost her, she eventually found her again- outside of Lyceus' tomb, preparing for Draco's attack, at her camp site when it was all over. Almost an annoyance, but not quite- she was sweet, if misguided enough to think of Xena as a hero.
And when Gabrielle asked her to take her with her, at least to somewhere where she could begin to learn her trade, Xena found herself agreeing. Found herself giving Gabrielle a small smile, one she hadn't felt upon her face in a long, long time.
Perhaps Hercules had been right. The path to redemption was a long one, but having saved her home, having reconciled with her mother, now with a traveling companion again to keep her from getting lost in her thoughts, it felt like the sword tip had been lifted from her throat. Nothing had changed- she still had a long road to travel, much to do if she ever wanted to find some semblance of peace and come to term with the things she had done, and perhaps she never would. Perhaps she was lessening the burning of the flames when she eventually found herself in Tartarus.
But, perhaps, with Gabrielle there to at least help her get started on the path Hercules had shown her, even if the other woman didn't know she was helping, perhaps it was possible.
She would at least live to see another sun, her plan to rest in Tartarus thrown out the window now that she had someone to escort to some far off town, and perhaps that new sun would help.