The taste of blood yet again. She had tried to speak, foolish thing. Years of her life had been spent without a voice. Without a name. She could not even spit the blood from her mouth. She could but wait it out, swallowing the foul, metallic tasting substance. Looking at the cruelty of her order was becoming increasingly hard. Performing the cruelty was becoming impossible. She ran her tongue over the wire that kept her jaw shut very tightly, as she observed her master pull information from the mind of a lowly prisoner. Kylo Ren was a powerful man when it came to the Force, it was true. But unbeknownst to him, he was not as powerful as her. Whatever her name was. They called her Asha Ren, but that was not her name. That was her title. She was a Knight of Ren. Masked, voiceless. She was less than human, and her cruelty certainly made it so. The prisoner screamed as Kylo Ren unnecessarily tore the man's mind apart, pan-handling his thoughts, shoving things aside, looking for that information, that may not have even been there. He didn't care that he was causing pain. Unimaginable pain. She knew what it was like. Supreme Leader Snoke could break her mind. He would condition her to hurt. Condition her to kill. As the man let fly a particularly high-pitched scream, the knight Asha Ren, closed her eyes. Nobody could see her do this. This game of cruelty hardly became her. If she were to be the one looking for the information, she would take a bit more care. She would simply pluck it from the mind, rather than tear her way through. She had started doing this more frequently. Hurting people made her feel increasingly sick. This was a pattern. She would become less numb to the hurt she caused the longer she had spent away from Snoke.
Unlike the other knights, Asha Ren had not chosen to be this. She had been taken from her home at a young age, to be a Storm Trooper. Her parents slaughtered before her eyes. Whatever parents were; she could no longer recall their purpose. But she had had it. The gift. The Force. She had been handed off like an unwanted thing. Snoke had sunk his hooks into her mind, breaking her, torturing her, shaping her into a machine. His conditioning would not last indefinitely, however. She would regain some sense of self after a time. She would hate the things she was made to do, and she would be sent to Snoke for him to break her again. Nobody else could do it. Kylo Ren was incapable of getting into her mind. She shuddered to think what his method would be like. Snoke was a cruel man. He relished in the pain he caused. He particularly enjoyed crushing her spirit whenever she started to come around to herself. Something that had made their sessions last infinitely longer, were her smart comebacks. She would quip at him, talk back, insult him, talk of anything to take herself out of the then and now. She ran her tongue over the metal wire again. He had taken steps to ensure this behaviour would cease. She was dependent on the First Order, dependent on Snoke to feed her and keep her alive. Nothing had passed her lips in five years now. She was kept alive by liquids injected directly into her blood. It was a treatment that wreaked havoc on her body. Every day was torture now. True enough, the periods of clarity took longer to come about each time. But she was learning.
Every time she gave herself away, like an amateur. She tried to speak out. She wouldn't follow orders. She showed common decency and kindness. But this time was different. This time she was going to get out. She had the guts of a plan. She'd go to the Resistance. Let them take her prisoner. Beg them to cut the wire, to set her free. She'd tell them everything she could. She hated them all. She would gladly see them crushed. When a master kicked a dog too much, it would eventually turn and bite the master. She sent a small wave of force through the air that pressed against Kylo Ren, who was still unceremoniously digging in the mind of the man. He turned to her. She could no more see his face than he could see hers.
"You may leave, Asha." he said. She bowed her head. He seemed to regard her for a moment more, before she turned on her heel and left the room to a chorus of screams. The other Knights treated Asha Ren as an inferior being. They abused her and attempted to pick fights. They continually disrespected her. But not Kylo Ren. Perhaps he knew to be wary of her. He was cruel to others, but never to her. Perhaps if it came to it, she would have mercy on him. As she swept down the hallway, she thought about the variables in her plans. What if the Resistance didn't want her information? What if they killed her instead? She found that a swift death would be better than the life torture and cruelty that lay before her. She couldn't fly, but she was fairly certain she could break the conditioning of a pilot. None of the Troopers would question her, regardless. The Knights of Ren held absolute power over any Stormtrooper.
Barely any of the Knights actually knew how to fly. They didn't need to know. But Asha was forbidden. Snoke didn't want her to fly off on her own. He didn't want her to escape, which was exactly why she had to. She couldn't be his little experiment any longer. A pair of oncoming Stormtroopers stood in out of her way, and to attention. They knew it was her. They knew she was a little kinder than the others. Asha knew that she had a reputation amongst them. She was the merciful one. She felt a twinge of pain for them. She could have ended up in that very uniform. But they had something in common. They were made to be something they should never have been. She wished she could help them escape with her. She wished she could take the Order from within. But she needed to get out. She wouldn't risk being conditioned again. Making her way to the hangar of the ship, she saw increasing numbers of troopers. They maintained the First Order's ships and bases. They were the people who cleaned, who cooked, who maintained the ships, who wired up the electricity. She started to sweat a little. Was she nervous? What if they stopped her? What if this plan went awry and it just left her with something else to learn from? She walked with confidence, but she was afraid at every step that she would falter. Afraid that she'd give herself away. She noticed that when the brainwashing started to fade, she felt more afraid. And fear made her less efficient.
When she entered the hangar, after what seemed like an eternity, several of the Stormtroopers around her looked up to stare at her walking past. She could taste the mild flavour of fear from them. But she also tasted hope. Respect. Did they think she would save them? Or was she their champion? She tried not to think about how many of these faceless people would die in the coming months and years. She kept her eyes on the prize. Kylo Ren's personal ship. It was the best and the fastest. There was a pilot running over the workings of the ship, making sure all was running smoothly. This was his lucky day. He was going to be free. She strode to him, all the faster now. She waved a hand and though with all her might "You will board this ship." The helmeted pilot, who wore all black, looked up at her.
"I will board this ship." he said, blankly. The pilot quietly entered the vessel, and the Knight was about to enter, when a terrible roar tore through the hangar, silencing the hustle and bustle.
"ASHAAAA!" Kylo Ren. Maskless. Furious. Her heart gave a furious leap. She hurried her footsteps and jumped into the ship.
"You will fly this ship away from here." she thought, with all her might. What had given her away? When she had touched him with the Force. She must feel different when she's herself. Asha watched as the pilot meandered off to the console, but her heart was in her mouth. The ship was surrounded by Stormtroopers, and some of the Knights were here. She shook, terrified. She heard someone coming closer to the ship. She ran to the door, pulling out her lightsabre. It glared an ugly red at her. Kylo Ren was marching up to the door towards her. He stopped when he saw her. She ripped off her helmet so she could look in his eyes. Short blonde hair and dark brown eyes. She was pale and short. Very underwhelming. But she hoped there was some humanity left inside Ben Solo. Some part of him that would feel a great pity for her. She stared into his dark eyes. "Let me go!" she pleaded with all her might. She hoped he would see the pain on her face. Hoped he would understand what she wanted him to.
"You can't." he said, quietly now. She tried to pull her mouth open again to speak, the wire preventing her from doing so, and causing great pain. She groaned loudly in agony as blood poured out onto her tongue. She pulled her lips back and moved her teeth just enough so he would see the wire. He had never known the reason why she had stopped talking. She could not tell him. He had asked, which had been curious enough. His eyes found the strong bit of wire that glinted in the light, and was just visible past her teeth. He looked back into her eyes and she saw it. Pity. Regret. Remorse. She cautiously took a step backwards as the engines of ship roared to life. Ben Solo didn't move. He stared at her, and seemed to be frozen by indecision. He looked at every detail of her face, as though this would help him make his decision. She stared right back at him, seeing him for the first time. There was something forlorn and lonely about him. She couldn't fill whatever hole was in his life, so there was no reason for him to keep her there. Snoke wouldn't be happy, by Kylo was his pet. As the ship started to pull away, Kylo Ren stayed planted to the one spot. He wasn't going to stop her. If it ever came down to it, she would show him mercy.