Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl belongs to Eoin Colfer, not me.

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"When is 'Melia getting here?" Beckett persisted.

Artemis hoisted his younger brother up. "It's bedtime, Beckett," he said wearily. "This is the third time you escaped from your crib."

Beckett wriggled in his older brother's grip. "I want to see 'Melia!" he exclaimed.

"Amelia Fielding will be here when you wake up," Artemis said. He lifted Beckett by the elbows and deposited him in his crib. "Now go back to sleep."

Beckett peered through the bars. "Awty," he called plaintively.

"Go to sleep," Artemis answered, and he closed the door behind him. He strolled down the hall to Myles' room; the older of the two twins slept peacefully.

"Compulsively checking, are we?" Butler said.

Artemis straightened his shirt cuffs. "Beckett was out of bed," he said. "Again. I just wanted to make sure that Myles wasn't following his lead." He checked his watch. "It's a quarter till ten. Juliet should be here soon."

"I can't believe she went back to bodyguarding," Butler said. "Then again, I'm sure she made an exception for someone like Amelia Fielding."

Artemis shook his head. "Juliet has always been too easily swayed by pop culture," he said.

"Amelia Fielding's more than pop culture," Butler said, ambling behind Artemis down the hall. "She played Mary Phagan in the revival of Parade when she was only ten."

"A pivotal but rudimentary role," Artemis argued.

Butler shrugged. "I thought she did an excellent job," he said. "I'm a bit surprised at you, Artemis. Haven't you researched her thoroughly?"

"Mother sprung this on me at the last minute," Artemis sulked. "First, she and Father were traveling to the South of France for the weekend. Then she informed me via video conference that Juliet and her principal would be arriving at ten o'clock sharp. I had better things to do then run a complete background check on a teenybopper." He cleared his throat. "I did, however, check up on her on the basic internet searches. If you use the typical methods, there's little to find about her except her acting resume."

Butler grinned. "But you don't use typical methods," he said.

Artemis tugged on his earlobe. "It seems she has gained full custody of her younger brother and sister," he said. "I found the transcripts of the legal records."

"Why is that so odd?" Butler asked.

Artemis straightened his tie. "She's only sixteen."

The familiar whirring of helicopter rotors bore down overhead. "I suppose we should see to them," Butler said, striding towards the helipad. Artemis trailed behind him. If he had been a normal teenager, he would have shoved his hands in his pockets, slouched, and scowled.

Things were finally back to normal in his home. The twins had reached their third birthday. His father was well. His mother had adjusted to the stories of LEP and fairies. There were projects to be completed and work to be done, and houseguests did not figure into the equation.

The dark blue night was cool and wind-whipped. Butler stood at the edge of the helipad, his hands clasped behind his back. The helicopter made its cockeyed descent and had hardly touched ground when a tall blonde girl leaped out.

"Dom!" Juliet cried, clasping her arms around her brother's neck.

Butler hugged her tightly. "You shouldn't have stayed away for so long, little sister," he said.

Juliet patted him on the cheek and pulled away, tucking a strand of golden hair into her long braid. "Well, I'm here now, and that's all that matters," she said. "Now I should probably get my principals." She galloped back to the helicopter.

Butler shook his head. "She'll never settle down."

"If she settled down, she wouldn't be Juliet," Artemis counted.

The slim blonde hurried down the steps, her arm wrapped around the shoulders of a skinny redheaded boy. Juliet turned back around and held out her hands. A small girl, perhaps six years old, was handed down to her, her long ash-blonde braids blowing like pennants in the rotors' wind. And then, at last, Amelia Fielding descended.

The slender actress left the helicopter slowly. She was simply but elegantly dressed in a navy coat with red bias trim, and she wore navy pumps with thin ankle straps. Her tousled red-blonde curls blew around her pale face; she brushed them aside impatiently. She stepped away from the helicopter and took the blonde child by the hand.

"Hold my hand, Alice," she said.

Artemis cleared his throat. "Miss Fielding, I presume?" he said.

"I am," she said. "And you are…"

"Fowl," he said. "Artemis Fowl." He held out his hand.

Amelia nodded to him and picked the child up. "Thank you for extending your hospitality," she said. "If you don't mind, I need to put Alice to bed."
He stepped back. "Of course," he said.

She brushed past him, holding the little girl on her hip. The boy followed her close behind. Artemis stared at them.

"So…" Butler hedged. "Is she the pop culture princess you thought she would be?"

Artemis still stared. "She snubbed me, Butler," he said.

"I saw."

"I don't know how to respond to that."

Butler clapped him on the shoulder. "That's because you nothing about girls," he said cheerfully.

Artemis's eyes narrowed. "I can't believe she snubbed me."

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Author's Notes:

Oy. I can't believe this is actually seeing the light of day!

I've had this idea running through my head for a couple of years, but I never thought I'd actually I write it. Amelia's character has done a lot of evolving since then- she began as a street rat dancer. Now she's an actress, and I'm pretty excited, because this will allow me to draw on my own experiences as an actress (I've been in theater since I was three years old).

The title comes from a line in the play Equus, which is going to figure strongly into the plot. If you've never read Equus, I highly recommend it.