As we died, our spirits floated out of o ur lifeless bodies and started to journ e y up. I looked to my left and saw my A po llo, he was still perfect, even aft er de ath. But then I felt the dreaded f ee ling of falling. Enjolras and I wer e bei ng t orn apart. "Enjolras!" I cri ed, but no sound came out. I was fall i ng f aste r and the light was getting f arther away. I saw Enjolras step up to H eaven's gates and receive a pair wings . They were fluttery and white .
And as I fell, I expected him to turn ar ound and say "Goodbye" or "I love you" a s he did before we were shot. But he s ai d nothing. He didn't even turn aroun d . Tears were streaming down my cheek a s we moved farther away from each other. I had done this to myself. I was the one who was drunk every single day. I was the one who ran away from home becau se I was too selfish. I was the one who made us part. It was al l my fault. But there was nothing I cou l d do.
As I fell into the scorching depths of H ell, I curled up in a ball and thought a bout all the good times Enjolras and I h ad together. I laughed at the time he ha d disapproved of Marius' love for Cosett e. I cried remembering the first night a t the barricade. It was raining and we l ost Eponine and Gavroche. Why Granatire? I thought, Why couldn't you have stopped drinking a nd swearing and hating. How many command ments have you broken? I stopped to think about it. Do not wors hip other gods. I worshipped the ground my Apollo walked everyday. Do not take the Lord's name in vain. ~sigh~ Honor your parents. Had I done that when I walked out of the house on my fourteenth birthday? No. Do not commit adultery. Does that count as cheating? I had done that in previous relationships. Do not steal. Too late for that. Do not bare false witness against your n eighbor. Lying? Yeah, I've done that. It was over, he was gone. I would never see my beloved Apollo ever again.
And I couldn't stop thinking that it was ALL my fault.