Kill the Smurfs!!!
"Princess Leia (spelling?), we have a problem."
"What is it, Hans?"
"Our ship has been pulled into the gravitational field of an unknown planet that the files say is called Earth. I've never heard of it."
"Hhhaaaaaaaaaaannn, ooooooooouuuuuuuuu aaaaaaaoooooooooo."
"Yes, Chewie, back to the point. Umm, the gravitational field is pulling us in at a very bad angle, and we're going to crash."
Luke looked up. "Can we escape?"
"No."
"Oh, no! Did you hear that, R2D2 (spelling?)? We're in for it this time!" C3PO (spelling?) was in a panic.
"This looks boring Harry, change the channel", Hermione complained.
"Ok, ok", Harry said, and changed the channel.
"Our top news story tonight: a spacecraft has crash landed near Dublin, Ireland. There are no known survivors, rescuers say..." came from the TV.
"Hmmm, I wonder", Harry began.
"No way", said Ron. They the began to watch Mission Impossible 2, and missed the crashing cars and burning objects outside the window...
A/N: i had to put star wars in, just to make some people happy. now to the real story!
"I'll get you this time. You ugly blue critters, you'll be my dinner for sure!" Snape was muttering as he looked though old spell books for a way to capture the hated Smurfs (little blue things, you know...). Crookshanks leapt deftly onto Snape's desk, purring pitifully. "Yes, yes, I know, you'll get to eat them today..."
At the other end of Hogwarts, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in big trouble! Their TV had suddenly exploded into ten thousand million billion trillion quintillion pieces. Harry got up, looked at the remains, and said, "The TV was fine. Someone blew it up from the inside!"
"You mean like a kamikaze mission?" Ron asked, looking frightened.
"Ron, you're not taking Muggle Studies. Do you even know what a kamikaze mission is?" Hermione asked.
"Shut up! You're always making fun of me!" Ron yelled, pulling at his wand, and aiming a curse at Hermione. She ducked, and it blew up the window.
"Ron, c-" Harry started to yell, but stopped, staring at Hermione. Hermione thought what the hell, why not?, and in the spirit of scientific experimentation, threw herself out the window.
Ron whimpered, and Harry said, "It's ok, Ron, come here. Shh, it's ok. It's alright, calm down", while stroking a shivering Ron. Together, they sat down on the couch, and began to whisper secrets that no one else cared about to each other.
Lupin walked into Sirius's office (i say he has one, ok?!?!?) and said," I would like an argument, please."
"It's 1 pound (can't do the L thingy!!!) for the first 5 minutes, and only 8 for ten!" Sirius said excitedly (A/N: thank you Monty Python's Flying Circus for this one).
"Ok, I think I'll start with the 5 minute one, thank you", Lupin said.
"Alright, go down to room 12-A."
Lupin walked down the hall, and opened a door on his right. "Do you think you can just come walking in here, you stupid monkey? I don't remember asking to see your ugly face! You son of a b*tch, what the f*ck is your problem? Are you too dense to have any respect for common people?" yelled McGonagall at Lupin.
"I came to have an argument", Lupin said timidly.
"Oh, that's right down the hall. This abuse", McGonagall said nicely. As soon as Lupin was done saying
"Oh, thank you. Bye.", she muttered, "Stupid git!"
Lupin walked down the hall, and opened a different door on his right. Walking in, he said, "Hello, I'm here to have an argument."
"No, you're not", argued Dumbledore.
"Yes, I am."
"Are not."
"Am too", said Lupin, sitting down.
"Are not."
"Am too."
"Are not."
"Am too."
"Are not."
"Am too."
"Are not."
"Wait a minute, this isn't an argument. This is just a bunch of contradictions." Lupin said angrily.
"No, it isn't."
"Yes, it is."
"No, it isn't."
"Yes, it is. I resent this. I came in here for a good argument."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"No, you came in here for an argument. That doesn't necessarily make it a good one."
"But-" Lupin started.
"I'm sorry, time's up!"
"That wasn't 5 minutes!"
"I'm sorry, I can't argue with you until you pay."
"That was not 5 minutes!"
"I can't argue with you until you pay", Dumbledore said in a final kind of way.
"Oh, here", said Lupin, handing over some money. "Now where were we?"
"I can't argue until you pay."
"But I just paid you!"
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"No, you didn't."
"But you're arguing with me. Therefore I must've paid you."
"Not necessarily."
"How so?"
"I could be arguing in my spare time."
Before things could go any further, Professor Trelawney came in, brandishing her wand, yelling, "Shut up! Shut up! Both of you, shut up!" With that, Lupin and Dumbledore both turned into pieces of bacon humming the theme-song to Batman.
And now, back to Snape and his Smurfs. He had finally found a good spell that would surely let him get the Smurfs this time. He waved his wand, saying, "Salami Swami!" There immediate;y appeared the Smurfs, ready to fight another battle, as a hole to the bottom of the universe grew larger and larger.
"Mwahahahahahahaha!", laughed Snape. "I've got you now! You will be sucked into the hole tat goes to the bottom of the universe, and rats will eat you while they have a dreadful war with cheese!"
"With cheese?", said Papa Smurf, astonished.
"Oh, yes, cheese. Munster being the most ferocious", answered Snape. While he was talking to Papa Smurf, the other Smurfs built a catapult to throw Snape in the hole. Snape flew into the hole, and finally landed at the bottom. There, he met that rats, who tried to eat him, but when they found out he was a wizard, worshiped him. "I am a great pharaoh! Worship me, bow to me!" Snape yelled happily, while cackling evilly and stroking Crookshanks, who appeared out of nowhere.
The Smurfs heard none of this. They just rejoiced happily, finally having gotten rid of Snape. Their festivities were cut short when there was a gain puff of smoke. As one, the Smurfs said an awful phrase.
"Care Bears..."
*****************************
a/n:wwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! candy! candy! candy! candy! candy! candy! candy! candy! good candy fun candy. review please, and any flames can light the fire in the fire place because the monkeys won't do it. thank you. wwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Princess Leia (spelling?), we have a problem."
"What is it, Hans?"
"Our ship has been pulled into the gravitational field of an unknown planet that the files say is called Earth. I've never heard of it."
"Hhhaaaaaaaaaaannn, ooooooooouuuuuuuuu aaaaaaaoooooooooo."
"Yes, Chewie, back to the point. Umm, the gravitational field is pulling us in at a very bad angle, and we're going to crash."
Luke looked up. "Can we escape?"
"No."
"Oh, no! Did you hear that, R2D2 (spelling?)? We're in for it this time!" C3PO (spelling?) was in a panic.
"This looks boring Harry, change the channel", Hermione complained.
"Ok, ok", Harry said, and changed the channel.
"Our top news story tonight: a spacecraft has crash landed near Dublin, Ireland. There are no known survivors, rescuers say..." came from the TV.
"Hmmm, I wonder", Harry began.
"No way", said Ron. They the began to watch Mission Impossible 2, and missed the crashing cars and burning objects outside the window...
A/N: i had to put star wars in, just to make some people happy. now to the real story!
"I'll get you this time. You ugly blue critters, you'll be my dinner for sure!" Snape was muttering as he looked though old spell books for a way to capture the hated Smurfs (little blue things, you know...). Crookshanks leapt deftly onto Snape's desk, purring pitifully. "Yes, yes, I know, you'll get to eat them today..."
At the other end of Hogwarts, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in big trouble! Their TV had suddenly exploded into ten thousand million billion trillion quintillion pieces. Harry got up, looked at the remains, and said, "The TV was fine. Someone blew it up from the inside!"
"You mean like a kamikaze mission?" Ron asked, looking frightened.
"Ron, you're not taking Muggle Studies. Do you even know what a kamikaze mission is?" Hermione asked.
"Shut up! You're always making fun of me!" Ron yelled, pulling at his wand, and aiming a curse at Hermione. She ducked, and it blew up the window.
"Ron, c-" Harry started to yell, but stopped, staring at Hermione. Hermione thought what the hell, why not?, and in the spirit of scientific experimentation, threw herself out the window.
Ron whimpered, and Harry said, "It's ok, Ron, come here. Shh, it's ok. It's alright, calm down", while stroking a shivering Ron. Together, they sat down on the couch, and began to whisper secrets that no one else cared about to each other.
Lupin walked into Sirius's office (i say he has one, ok?!?!?) and said," I would like an argument, please."
"It's 1 pound (can't do the L thingy!!!) for the first 5 minutes, and only 8 for ten!" Sirius said excitedly (A/N: thank you Monty Python's Flying Circus for this one).
"Ok, I think I'll start with the 5 minute one, thank you", Lupin said.
"Alright, go down to room 12-A."
Lupin walked down the hall, and opened a door on his right. "Do you think you can just come walking in here, you stupid monkey? I don't remember asking to see your ugly face! You son of a b*tch, what the f*ck is your problem? Are you too dense to have any respect for common people?" yelled McGonagall at Lupin.
"I came to have an argument", Lupin said timidly.
"Oh, that's right down the hall. This abuse", McGonagall said nicely. As soon as Lupin was done saying
"Oh, thank you. Bye.", she muttered, "Stupid git!"
Lupin walked down the hall, and opened a different door on his right. Walking in, he said, "Hello, I'm here to have an argument."
"No, you're not", argued Dumbledore.
"Yes, I am."
"Are not."
"Am too", said Lupin, sitting down.
"Are not."
"Am too."
"Are not."
"Am too."
"Are not."
"Am too."
"Are not."
"Wait a minute, this isn't an argument. This is just a bunch of contradictions." Lupin said angrily.
"No, it isn't."
"Yes, it is."
"No, it isn't."
"Yes, it is. I resent this. I came in here for a good argument."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"No, you came in here for an argument. That doesn't necessarily make it a good one."
"But-" Lupin started.
"I'm sorry, time's up!"
"That wasn't 5 minutes!"
"I'm sorry, I can't argue with you until you pay."
"That was not 5 minutes!"
"I can't argue with you until you pay", Dumbledore said in a final kind of way.
"Oh, here", said Lupin, handing over some money. "Now where were we?"
"I can't argue until you pay."
"But I just paid you!"
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"No, you didn't."
"But you're arguing with me. Therefore I must've paid you."
"Not necessarily."
"How so?"
"I could be arguing in my spare time."
Before things could go any further, Professor Trelawney came in, brandishing her wand, yelling, "Shut up! Shut up! Both of you, shut up!" With that, Lupin and Dumbledore both turned into pieces of bacon humming the theme-song to Batman.
And now, back to Snape and his Smurfs. He had finally found a good spell that would surely let him get the Smurfs this time. He waved his wand, saying, "Salami Swami!" There immediate;y appeared the Smurfs, ready to fight another battle, as a hole to the bottom of the universe grew larger and larger.
"Mwahahahahahahaha!", laughed Snape. "I've got you now! You will be sucked into the hole tat goes to the bottom of the universe, and rats will eat you while they have a dreadful war with cheese!"
"With cheese?", said Papa Smurf, astonished.
"Oh, yes, cheese. Munster being the most ferocious", answered Snape. While he was talking to Papa Smurf, the other Smurfs built a catapult to throw Snape in the hole. Snape flew into the hole, and finally landed at the bottom. There, he met that rats, who tried to eat him, but when they found out he was a wizard, worshiped him. "I am a great pharaoh! Worship me, bow to me!" Snape yelled happily, while cackling evilly and stroking Crookshanks, who appeared out of nowhere.
The Smurfs heard none of this. They just rejoiced happily, finally having gotten rid of Snape. Their festivities were cut short when there was a gain puff of smoke. As one, the Smurfs said an awful phrase.
"Care Bears..."
*****************************
a/n:wwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! candy! candy! candy! candy! candy! candy! candy! candy! good candy fun candy. review please, and any flames can light the fire in the fire place because the monkeys won't do it. thank you. wwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!