A Host of Golden Daffodils
By theDailyQuibbler
A Severus and Lily fanfiction
A/N: Just a angsty little story I thought of. The title may seem familiar; it's from a poem by William Wordsworth. 'M sorry for any grammar mistakes, I typed this out without anyone beta-ing. Enjoy.
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It was one year after Lily's and Potter's death. Severus Snape stood on the Astronomy Tower, and his eyes were glazed and his face was masked with his usual scowl, but those knowing about Severus' and Lily's relationship, that only being Dumbledore, could see a hint of anguish and hurt in his eyes.
Severus Snape could not numb the pain deep in his heart; the pain he felt for Lily, the pain he suffered for those years. He was the one that got Lily killed. He looked down the Tower to the ground, and his heart dropped a thousand metres down. He felt so much like jumping down the blasted Tower, letting go of his duties and his troubles. I'll be free of those Potions disastrous dunderheads, I'll be free of others' suspicious glances, I'll be free of being trapped and controlled by that old coot, and most importantly, I'll be released from the guilt. But, always, he thought of the promise he made, not to Dumbledore, but to Lily. "I promise to keep your son safe, Lily," Severus whispered to the air.
Clearing his face of any previous emotions or any other signs that could betray him, he walked down the stairs and to the Great Hall.
Upon entering, he could see the Halloween Feast was already halfway through. Students sat in their House Tables and they ate happily, and the surroundings were fizzed with an air of festivity. Severus did not get affected by the atmosphere; he wore his usual mask of scowl and glared at ay student that dare to look at him in the eye.
Walking past Dumbledore, Severus raised his mental defenses immediately, as he did not fancy the old coot poking into his private, private, thoughts. Albus Dumbledore made no comment about the defenses, but said calmly," Severus, my dear, please join us in the Feast!" His eyes twinkled, but when Severus stared deeper into his eyes, Severus could not help but feel that even Dumbledore's twinkles were muted, and he did not seem as jolly as on the other festivities.
Severus, knowing that Dumbledore felt for the deaths, he quickly averted his eyes and walked to his seat. He sat down, his robes billowing, and slowly ate the food that just appeared on his plate. Taking a bite, Severus almost spit it out. It was Lily's favourite Hogwarts dish, Shepard's Pie with a touch of honey. He savoured the sweet taste, and took another bite. He could not refuse Lily's dish, after all, no matter how much it pained him to think of her and how disgustingly sweet it is.
After the Feast, when all the students were back in their dormitories, the staff stayed back and talked about things. Coming to the touchy topic of the death anniversaries, Severus stiffened and clenched his jaw shut.
"What do you think we should bring there? To…to the graves, I mean," he could hear Pomona Sprout asking softly.
"Flowers, definitely," Minerva answered, and her voice quavered a little. Normally, Severus would smirk and gloat at her weakness, but at that moment, he could not bring himself to even lift an end of his lips. He continued drinking from his goblet, and instinctively, he shielded his mind more.
"What kind?" Sprout asked, and a tear could be seen sliding down her cheeks. By then, all the staff was quiet, and even Dumbledore's eyes did not twinkle.
Severus, not expecting another pang of anguish and love, he refilled his goblet with wine and avoided the conversation, or the lack of conversation.
"What flowers did Lily love?" Filius Flitwick asked.
Hearing those words, Severus was pulled back into an old memory.
"Lily?" a young boy, clearly Severus, asked softly to the girl beside him. They were sitting on the grass by the playground. "Yes?" Lily answered.
She was so beautiful. "Lily, what flower do you love best? Roses? Daisies?" Severus asked, as he was racking his brain for a gift for her.
"No, Sev. I love daffodils. Not one single daffodil, but a crowd, a host of daffodils. Golden ones! They are so majestic, and do you know what they mean, Sev? They mean love, hope, and a new beginning," Lily answered, and her green eyes sparkled in the sunlight.
"Yes, they are pretty, Lily. So very pretty," Severus answered and conjured half a dozen golden daffodils and handed them to Lily. But not as beautiful as you, Lily, he thought in his head.
Severus pulled away from the memory, and he hid his tears as hard as he could. Without knowing that the conversation was changed, he stood up abruptly and walked away.
"Daffodils. Golden Daffodils."
He exited the Great Hall, and those who heard him, stared at his gone shadow.
"Yes, Severus. Golden daffodils it is," Dumbledore said aloud, and the twinkle returned to his eyes.