A/N: This one-shot deals with the aftermath of Sam being shot, and him and Andy dealing with everything that happened in season four.
I promise that I haven't abandoned my other stories, but real life has just been kicking my proverbial ass for the past couple of months ;)
Hope you enjoy!
"You're an idiot."
It's now been three weeks since Sam had been shot, and his best friend, Oliver Shaw is berating him over the phone.
"Come again?" Sam takes an involuntary deep breath, flinching, as he slides to the floor with an audible groan.
"You're an idiot," Oliver repeats his earlier words. "McNally has been all over the place, looking for you, and you've just checked yourself out of the hospital?"
"I was just..," Sam tries to say, but is immediately cut off by Shaw.
"Being an idiot, I know. You know, Sam, you two are finally on common ground again, and then you go and do something so stupid!"
"Will you stop calling me that?"
"Then stop acting like it."
"You know, Oliver, it's not like I set out to make Andy worry about me. I was feeling better, so I just…"
"If you think that giving me the song and dance about how the doctors were so impressed by your healing process, that they released you, save your breath. McNally went to the hospital, and they said that you left against doctor's orders."
"I was going insane." Sam's voice is so quiet, that Oliver barely hears the words. "I miss her, man."
"What are you talking about?" Oliver asks. "She's been by your side ever since you were shot. Granted, she started to work again two weeks ago, but that was only because you told her to. Even then, she stopped by before, sometimes during and after shift."
"I know, alright? It doesn't make any sense, but this past year has just been..," Sam can't even find the right words to describe the situation that has been him, Marlo, Andy and Collins. "I just don't like to be away from her. And she wasn't answering her phone."
"Because she was knee-deep in this kidnapping case we've been working these past couple of days, brother," Oliver tries to reason with him. He – if anyone knows how tough this past year has been on both Sam and Andy, and he's been rooting for them.
Zealously.
Sighing deeply on the other end of the line, Sam asks, "so, I'm an idiot, eh?"
"Yup!" Shaw bops his head up and down – in agreement with Sam's statement.
"I'm telling you, Trace, I can't find him anywhere," Andy tells her best friend on the phone, as she climbs the stairs of her apartment building.
"What did the hospital say?" Traci asks concerned.
Nash's partnership with Sam has only deepened her concern for him. Before he'd been Jerry's friend and Andy's boyfriend, but working side-by-side with him for almost a year now has strengthened their bond – both on and off the clock.
"That I wasn't family for one," Andy grates through gritted teeth. That first nurse she had talked to had really made it abundantly clear, that if she weren't family, then they couldn't divulge any information to her. It had been hospital policy.
"Andy..," Traci's voice is soft, and she knows that if they were in the same room, this would be the point where her friend would pull her into a hug.
Pulling in a deep breath, Andy tells Traci how Monica had turned up at the nurses' desk, right about the time when Andy had been about to tell that first nurse off.
"So, Monica told me, that according to the records, Sam had signed himself out."
"Just like that?"
"Pretty much, yeah," Andy nods her head. "Where could he be, Trace? I've looked everywhere, called everyone I can think of and nothing."
"I'm sure he's fine, this is Sam Swarek we're talking about, Andy." Her friend tries to console her over the phone. "Hasn't he tried to call you?"
"I wouldn't know."
"What does that mean?" Traci asks with raised eyebrows.
"I was running late this morning, so I forgot my cell at home."
"Then whose phone are you using right now?"
"A spare my dad always encouraged me to get; only Sam doesn't have the number to this one, or anyone else for that matter, because I never use the thing, because I never forget to bring my own cell phone with me to work!"
"Calm down..," Traci knows, that these past couple of weeks have been anything, but easy for her best friend. Andy has made a lot of choices in the past year that had come to a head three weeks ago when Sam had been shot.
Traci had tried to stay out of the debacle that had been her friend's thing with Nick, while at the same time trying to be friends with Gail as well as Andy. Which had also been why, she had shied away from drinks after work with Dov, Chris and Gail because truthfully, Traci hadn't known which foot to stand on.
She is just glad, that finally after all this time Andy is clear on her priorities, and knows where her heart lies. Gail has moved on with Holly, and Marlo has left town, so all that's left now is for Sam and Andy to figure out what they want.
"For all you know, he's probably left a dozen voice-mails on your cell by now."
"Yeah, maybe," Andy sighs.
After Sam had been declared one-hundred percent out of the woods by his doctor, Andy had broken things off with Nick.
It hadn't exactly come as a surprise to him that Andy had wanted out. Nick had told her, that it had been clear the night of Sam's shooting where her heart had been all along.
Or with who.
They had agreed to try and stay friends, but they had both known that going back to being just friends again had no longer been an option – not after everything that had happened.
Andy's friendship with Gail is still in shambles. But they had at least been able to work together today, and sit in a cruiser with each other.
So, supposedly progress is being made.
Turning a corner on her floor, Andy's eyes find Sam's sleeping form, that's resting against her front door. His eyes are closed, and in his hand, he's cradling his cell phone.
"Andy? You still there?" Traci wants to know.
"Yeah," she breathes. "And so is Sam."
"What did I tell you? He's okay, isn't he?" she asks concerned.
"Exhausted, but fine."
Sam feels the touch of her fingers combing through his hair before he actually sees her. Something she'd done a lot in the hospital; run her fingers through his hair.
"Hey," he sighs wetting his lips with his tongue due to the sudden dryness in his throat.
"Hi yourself," Andy says, sitting in front of him on bended knees. "What are you doing here, Sam?"
"Waiting for you..?" he suggest with a raised eyebrow.
Scoffing, she says. "You're supposed to be in the hospital, on bed rest. But instead you've gone across town on a pair of stolen crutches," Andy nods her head to where a pair of crutches are lying next to Sam's legs.
"Andy, really I…"
"…which I," Andy points at her chest before adding, "had to pay for by the way!" She reprimands him playfully.
Drawing a deep breath, Sam apologizes. "Sorry about that." Figuring that he might as well get all the apologies out of the way, he also apologizes for making her worry and leaving the hospital without telling her.
Narrowing her eyes at him, Andy asks, "so, how are you feeling? Really?" she emphasizes that last word, because she wants him to tell her the truth, and not what he thinks, she wants to hear.
"Aside from a dead ass I'm fine." He smiles at her, and when one side of her mouth lifts into a semblance of a smile, he knows all's not lost.
"You hungry?" she asks standing up.
"You are offering to cook?" Sam asks surprised, as Andy helps him into a standing position before passing him the crutches.
"Don't worry it's left-over lasagna from my dad's. Amy made it." She explains, unlocking the door before stepping aside to let Sam enter the apartment.
After having moved the coffee table out of the way, Andy helps make Sam comfortable on the couch before venturing into the kitchen. "You want a beer?" she asks mid-stride to the kitchen, but stops abruptly, turning around with uncertainty written all over her face.
"What?" Sam asks from the couch, lying length-wise on the couch, able to watch her every move.
"Can you even drink alcohol when on painkillers?"
"Don't worry about it," he brushes her concerns away with a wave of his hand.
"Sam..," Andy walks around the couch to sit on the coffee table. "Mixing alcohol with pills is a very serious matter." Tommy, back when he had been an alcoholic had mixed them together quite often, sometimes to such a degree, that it had almost been impossible to wake him up from one of his benders.
"Andy..," Sam closes his eyes tight. "I won't be mixing alcohol with pills, because I'm not taking the pain killers anymore. I don't need them," he moves slightly on the couch, causing a wince to go through his body making her roll her eyes at him.
"Riiiight..," she scoffs. "So all this wincing is because you're pain-free?"
"I'm fine, Andy."
"Where have I heard that before?" she asks standing up, but in a matter of seconds Sam is sitting up-right on the couch and has Andy's hand clasped in his.
"Let's talk." He breathes deeply, undoubtedly from the pain, his sudden moves have caused him.
"Alright," Andy acquiesces, sitting down on the coffee table again, still with her hand clasped tightly in Sam's.
"I stopped taking the pills because they weren't helping," he says noticing how Andy's eyes are narrowing at him. "Believe me, Andy. The pain in my gut doesn't even compare with the pain I know I've been putting you through all year."
"Sam…"
"No, just let me finish, alright?" he asks of her, and when Andy doesn't say anything, Sam takes that as her 'okay'. "I began seeing Marlo because I didn't want to be alone, I didn't want to open myself up to her, but I also didn't want to be alone. So, we began meeting up at 'The Penny', getting drinks after work, talking about cases, superficial stuff that had nothing to do with deep-rooted feelings or love – at least not on my part."
"Sam..," Andy tries to disentangle their hands, but Sam holds onto her hand, not willing to let her go – not this time.
"Just listen to me, please. When you came back, I needed to make myself believe that I was doing the right thing. So, I stuck it out, I played through the motions, gave the performance of my life, but that was all it was, Andy. An act – in fact the only person, I managed to fool was probably myself."
"So, what changed?" Andy asks shrugging her shoulders.
"You did."
"Me?" she asks shocked.
"Yes; you. You may not believe me, but I watched you, saw you with Collins, and noticed that things were progressing with you guys. I had no right to interfere, so I didn't. I went through the motions with Marlo, somehow hoping, I think, that you'd be able to read my mind."
"What happened with Nick was a mistake, Sam. A stupid attempt on my part to feel something again, and as a result I ended up destroying two of my friendships."
"Hey," he says softly cupping her cheek with his other hand. "I don't blame you for trying to move on Andy, I did the same thing after all. What I'm trying to say is that I've been numb ever since you left for the task force, and I don't want to be numb anymore. That's why I'm not taking the pills."
Chewing on her bottom lip, Andy contemplates what Sam has just told her. He wants to feel everything – with her. "But you're in pain, it's written all over your face, Sam."
"I'd rather be in pain, than not feel anything at all. I'm done with hiding everything away; I want us to try again, Andy. Really try this time, without any third parties involved. I want this; us to work, but more importantly I need it to work."
"Okay," she brushes a tear away with the back of her hand, as a wobbly smile makes its appearance on her lips.
"Okay," Sam nods his head. "And if you don't mind, I'd really like that beer now."
Laughing at his quip, Andy tells him, "that can be arranged, Detective."
"Good to know, but first things first," he smiles at her with dimples on full display crooking his finger at her.
"What? Sam, we can't..," Andy tries to object when Sam tugs at her hand. "I'll end up hurting you." She tells him when it becomes obvious what he wants.
"What have I just finished telling you?" he asks.
Releasing a deep breath, Andy places her knees on the sofa cushion on the outside of Sam's legs. "I'm not putting any weight on you." She warns him.
"I can work with that," Sam smirks up at her, touching her chin with his thumb and forefinger, as he inches their lips closer making Andy place her hands on his shoulders for balance.
"I love you."
Smiling brightly up at Andy, Sam reciprocates with an "I love you too," right before their lips meet in a soft kiss.
Even though, Sam had maintained that it would be unnecessary, Andy had held her ground that she'd need to shower and change before having dinner with him.
She had left him with the newspaper and an ice-cold beer on the couch before disappearing behind her bedroom door.
Feeling curious as to how many voice-mails Sam had left her, she grabs her cell to find out, only to find that it's dead.
Sighing audibly, she plugs it into the recharger before walking to her closet, where she picks out a pair of ripped jeans as well as a green tank top and a white cardigan since it's getting chillier and chillier out.
After having shaved her legs and rinsed the shampoo and conditioner out of her hair, Andy towels off and puts on a pair of black panties and a matching bra.
She puts on the designated clothes for the evening, and adds a little color to her lips as well as a little eyeliner to her eyes. Andy blow-dries her hair, letting her tresses hang down her back in tumbling waves before walking into the bedroom to check up on her cell phone.
Andy's never really been the type of girl, who'd spend countless hours in front of the mirror. That's always more been Gail's style.
Gail.
Their friendship had been a surprise, which is also why Andy hates herself for letting it get ripped to shreds during this thing of hers with Nick. Sam may understand why she'd done what she had, but she doesn't. She'll probably never forgive herself for letting it destroy her friendship with Gail.
Andy only hopes that in time, they can begin to co-exist amicably. True, they can work together, but being colleagues really isn't enough for Andy, she wants their friendship back too, but that's up to Gail.
Ten voice-mails and five texts are what Andy finds on her recently recharged cell phone. Shaking her head at the fact that if she had only remembered to bring her cell phone with her to work, then she wouldn't have been running all over town trying to find him today.
Taking one last look in the mirror, Andy decides that this is as good as it gets, and opens her bedroom door, joining Sam in the living room again.
After having re-heated the lasagna in the microwave, Andy looks through her fridge hoping to find some salad, tomatoes and cucumbers but comes up empty.
"So, the lasagna will have to do tonight, Detective," she says circling the couch. "Because it's all that I have…Sam..?" Standing in front of him, she realizes why he's been so quiet for the past thirty minutes, while she's basically been talking to herself.
He's fast asleep.
Watching him, stretched out on the couch, Andy realizes how much today must have taken out of him. He is recovering from a gun-shot wound after all.
Forgetting all about the lasagna resting on the counter top, Andy kneels next to the couch, pulling her fingers through his black mane of hair.
"I love you so much."
Moving towards the sound of her voice, Sam turns his head towards Andy's – still asleep when she decides to join him in his slumber.
Getting up from the floor, she lies down on the couch making herself comfortable next to Sam's sleeping body.
Turning on her side, Andy places her head on Sam's chest and wraps her arm around his mid-section careful not to come into contact with his wound.
Laying here with him is all she needs to do to know, that she's exactly where she's supposed to be. It's everything she's longed for ever since they broke up, all she's dreamed about while on the task force and the embodiment of every wish she's had after coming home.
With those thoughts in mind, Andy closes her eyes and joins Sam in a peaceful slumber.
A/N2: I hope you enjoyed the story, and if you did, I would love a word or two in the box at the bottom of the page ;)