A parody by Hannah AKA Roscoefan
Disclaimer: I am not hating on RFR, at all! I love the show. I wanted to do a lame parody, so here it is.
Opening scene: The scene goes to the inside of an abandoned warehouse where 4 kids are hanging out. Various electronics and wires fill the room.
Boy 1: Look, an unauthorized visitor. What is this mess of circuitry, you ask? Well, this is the headquarters our illegal underground radio station, Radio Free Rothco. Why such an unusual name, you ask? Well, way back when, during the war, there was a system of radio stations used to broadcast important new…
Girl: To make a long story short, we named this station after our town, Rothco. Hernia G. Roscoe, the poor shmuck who gave his name to the town, had a bad lisp, especially when he said his last name…and well, it kind of stuck with him.
Boy 2: And thank God for that, or else there'd be some nastycopyright problems. Let's cut to the intro.
Our thoughts are so redound
Some think we're unsoundBut all we do is bum around
We're anonymous, from 4-5
What the heck is a social life?
If you're listening
If you're listening
Thanks…you give a care!
Boy 1: Welcome to Radio Free Rothco, 88.1, 4-5 p.m. everyday.Boy 2: Well, it's 3:00 a.m. if you're tuning in from The--
Boy 1: --Now, I'm Roddy McGriddle, AKA Exclamation Point. I'm the overly curious one and mediator of the group. I usually start the show with my question of day; it hooks listeners in and gives them something to chew on-
Boy 2: -And it's annoying and unnecessary. Two words, pal: Ask Jeeves. Hey, folks, I'm Fray Tendon, AKA Delay. I'm the wisecracker of the group. My witty comments and rude sarcasm add humor to this otherwise snoozefest of a radio show. Actually, the only reason I'm going along with this whole thing is that I get to sit beside Lilac, my best friend and schoolboy crush. But she's completely oblivious to my feelings…whenever I try to talk to her, she seems distracted by something. Here, watch this…Hey, Lilac, just to let you know I'm madly in love with you and it's my dream that someday we'll get married. And you look hot in that shirt.Girl: Did you TRAVOID say something, Fray? I TRAVOID wasn't TRAVOID listening.
Fray: Yep, I can't put my finger on it, but she's definitely distracted by something…Girl: Hi, guys, I'm Lilac Sandal, AKA Shadow Boulevard. I'm like a new, cuter Hermione when it comes to being the smart, logical, only female in the group. I'm an aspiring rock star, except I have an incurable case of stage fright! I could never perform live on stage without vomiting! Maybe Ashlee had something there…
Boy 3: "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." That was just one of the many, many Buddha quotes I like to say at random moments to sound intelligent and wise, even though I don't know what the hell they mean. I'm Travoid Heavyweight, AKA Haze, the "new kid" and RFR's techie. Yep, I'm the guy who does all the work behind-the-scenes and never gets any credit. But I don't mind, there's an overloaded powerbar just waiting for one of those 3 poop-for-brains to push the wrong button…Lilac, stop kissing my feet, please…
The scene flashes to a tidy office, where a girl and stern-looking man are standing, listening to the radio.
Kid on Radio 2: I'm Exclamation Point, and I'm asking, why does Principal Fodder suck?
Kid on Radio 1: mock low-pitched voice I'm Principal Fodder, also known as A. Looser!
Man: Curses, they're at it again! Those damn RFR kids! They're constantly undermining my authority with satire! Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Dandy Fodder, the stereotypical bumbling, grumpy, something-always-up-ass principal. School fights, bullying, forbidden teacher-student relationships, and teen pregnancy can be murder--pardon the pun--on a school's reputation, but when it comes to dealing with the antics of those 4 radio brats, I'd switch places with Raditch any day! Luckily I've got a valuable weapon and alternative for the students to listen to…reliable, properly scheduled Ocelot Radio broadcasts, hosted by DJ Kit Chamomile!
Kit: Sir, everyone hates Ocelot Radio. You know it, I know it. Let's just end it here and let RFR win. I'm tired of being portrayed as the school's resident bitch, anyhow…
McRobb Brothers: Don't worry, just wait until Bridget comes along…
Fodder: Someday, I'll find out their identities…someday…
Kit: Dude, it's kind of obvious…it doesn't even take a dumbass to figure it out.
Fodder: Shh, I'm humoring them for now, we need a good storyline and there's still 6 more seasons of this to go…
The-N: howling with laughter
Back at RFR HQ:
Exclamation Point: Well, thanks for tuning in to RFR, your sugarcoated raisin in a world of bran, your wrinkle in a world of Botox…
Delay: …Your simile in a world of metaphors…
Haze: Let us part with some words of inspiration. "You are only as bright as others perceive you."
Shadow: Oh, Haze, that was beautifully spoken. Was that another of your fantastic Buddha quotes?
Haze: No, it was in my fortune cookie from Joe's Wok.
Exclamation: We wish we could stay longer but not even RFR can take up Rick Dee's airtime.
Delay: This is Radio Free Rothco, thining…er, signing off.