Lord of the Gimps
"Sam. Sam. Sam! SAM!!!" Frodo Baggins screamed to his friend, Samwise Gamgee.
"For crying out loud Frodo! He's deaf! Remember?" Peregrin Touque, also known as Pippin, explained once again.
"Oh! Right. SAM!"
"Oi."
"Wait, can't he sign to him, Pippin?" Meridock Brandybuck, also known as Merry, asked his very close friend.
"Well, Merry. That would work, except Frodo is blind, so he can't learn to sign." Pippin reasoned.
"Right. Good point."
"Yes, good point Pip. What about my brail? I'll write him a letter." Frodo pulled out his brail press and punch cards.
"Frodo," Pippin said in a very annoyed sing song voice, "Sam-is-deaf. You-are-blind. Not both. You can't sign, Sam can't read brail, so think of something else! It's the ring isn't it? Stupid ring..." Pippin outraged.
"Well, at least I'm not conjoined." Frodo nearly spat.
A tear rolled down Merry's cheek.
"That was uncalled for, Frodo. You know that is sensitive for us." Merry and Pippin chided. These two friends, these two hobbits, were conjoined, from shoulder to hip, hip to shoulder. This resulted in 2 heads, 2 arms, and 4 legs. All of these 4 hobbits originated in the green land of the Shire, and had left that very land to take Frodo on his journey of returning the Ring of Power to Mount Doom in Mordor. They had no idea what was in store for a blind hobbit, a deaf hobbit, 2 conjoined hobbits, an armless king, a legless elf, a very short and gimpy dwarf, and a mute wizard. This could be interesting.....