Disclaimer: My name is not Yoshihiro Togashi

Dear Journal-Not-Diary,

Okay, so I honestly have no idea about what the hell I'm doing writing in a journal... not a diary.

Me! The great and superbly awesome Killua Zoldyck is writing in a Journal-Not-Diary of all things. It's unimaginable! Other-worldly! Crazy like you wouldn't believe it!

And so, if me, found with a Journal-Not-Diary is just something impossible to even think about, why then, am I currently writing in one? Easy peasy lemon squeezy-I'm going to have to burn this after I'm done. One Killua Zoldyck does not, I repeat, does not use overrated saying like that- it's actually simple.

There is one and only one person to blame for this. Well, and maybe my ego, but still! Only one person that I would never ever in a mill-bil-trillion years no, scratch that, for eternity admit defeat to unless in a dire situation that could end with a dead Killua.

And who might this person be? Wait for it...Wait for it...Dun dun dun...Duuuuuuuunnnnn-I need to lay off the Choco-no! Never!-Stop talking to yourself!-I'm not! I'm writing to myself. There's a difference-Not a very big difference-ARG!

…

Okay, so I took a nap. Am much calmer now.

And I totally did the nap because I thought I needed one, definitely was not knocked out by Gon-the traitor-because he thought I was in great need of sleep. Nope, definitely not in denial either.

But I'm not talking to him right now because I'm annoyed at him. Not because he was able to catch me off guard but because the idiot ate the rest of the of the deluxe-once-in-a-lifetime-supreme-chocolate-with-a-bunch-of-other-heavenly-goodness chocolate bar. After everything I did to get it too.

He'd better give me something good, like blow my mind away good, to fix our broken relationship...That came out wrong…

Moving on!

Ah, yes, the person who was responsible for this extremely unimaginable miracle. Well, if you think about it, Journal-Not-Diary-yes I am talking to you, you stupid book- there can only be one person gay enough to even think about forcing me to write in a diary-Journal-Not-Diary!- for an extended period of time.

Yes, I bet you and I both know who is responsible, don't you Journal-Not-Diary?

Pops really needs to find a new hobby other than trying to make me gay. I mean seriously! What type of dad wants to make his perfectly straight son gay? What about continuing the family line? What is happening to the world?!

Then he thinks he's so smart, trying to make me scorn women. With that batshit woman I have to call Mom and crossdressing younger brothers. And all those inhumanly stronger than me (maybe) butlers that have the nerve to call themselves female! Horrid right?

But have no fear Journal-Not-Diary! For I am straighter than Hisoka's nen-infused cards! And, sadly, I have Milluki to thank for this. Well, specifically his porn magazines.

Ghahahahahahahahaha!

The great and superbly awesomer than awesome Killua the Great has struck again with his devilishly handsome face and wits!

Now, for my next superbly awesome action, I will take another nap. All this writing is making my hand tired. Maybe I'll explain more about why I'm even bothering to listen to the old man, there's nothing else to write about.

I'm burning this afterwards anyway. Journal-Not-Diary, you can be a temporary secret-keeper for me. Then I will dance on your ashes.

I've always wanted to dance on the ashes of something.

Definitely not sincerely,

Killua (the Great) Zoldyck