This is a present written for my wonderful, wonderful friend Jedi-Ant for Christmas and her birthday. I never thought I would find myself writing Twilight fanfic, but here I am, acting on an idea I got from Ant when we were discussing the series and got on to the topic of the werewolves/shape-shifters. This is AU only in one respect -- that Jacob never imprinted on Renesmee.
Enjoy!
Hey Furball, Shut Up and Listen
It was snowing hard by the time I reached the edge of the forest. Great white fluffs that looked more like cotton balls than real snow fell in thick clumps through the gaps in the leafy canopy above. This winter had been so cold that sometimes even I – the furball of the group, as Leah frequently said – could feel its bitterness in my paws. This is on top of taking into account how feeling cold is a pretty rare thing for us, since we're the kind of people who would be immediately admitted to a hospital if anyone outside the supernatural world found out our temperatures. But that didn't stop us from feeling the cold.
Cold could be dealt with. Ignored even. It was the overabundance of snow I wasn't liking. The white fluffy stuff falling from the sky was driving me crazy because it didn't have the sense to be packable (so as to make snowballs, the best weapon winter can provide) and I sank right through it. Last week, I had been patrolling the area when I came upon an unexpected deep patch and sank right up to my neck. If you ever want to slow down a really, really big wolf in winter, wear snowshoes and run. Well, as fast as you can run with snowshoes, but if you take into account that I'm trying to shift three feet of snow with my body, you're probably the luckier one. Trust me, while you're attempting to prance around on the surface, I'm slugging my way through the white stuff. It's like quicksand in winter.
The really annoying thing was that in this area of the woods, you can quite clearly see the light indents in the top of the snow that are in the shape of feet. Vampire footprints. They can run so fast they don't even have a chance to sink in.
They're like blood-drinking, stinky, sparkling versions of J.R.R. Tolkien's elves, for crying out loud!
And I had also made my peace with them.
That didn't require me to like them. Under no circumstances was I going to like vampires, creatures whose skin was colder than the snow I was currently knee-deep in. Vampires took my best friend away. Vampires have come on the verged of destroying everything I have sworn to protect more than once. Last year, vampires nearly ripped apart this town because of a tiny, angelic little monster currently living in the cottage not a mile away from the part of the forest I was running through. The cute, perfect little angel that everyone falls in love with at first sight.
The Loch Ness Monster was so cute she made me sick. She has the kind of effect on me that is comparable to eating a lot of candy that has a huge quantity of sugar – and then being sick afterwards because your system as been all sugarfied.
Yeah. That feeling is the one I get when I see Bella's precious little demon.
Okay, that's a little harsh. More than a little harsh and I shouldn't really be speaking about Bella and her daughter like that, but sometimes it's almost too easy. What can I say? I've been taking lessons in sarcasm from Leah. Things have changed dramatically in the year and a half since Renesmee (see, doesn't her sugarfied name want to make you puke?) was born and we had Volturi coming down on us like demons from hell. Out of duty to protect the humans in the area from non-vegetarian vampires and out of respect for Bella, we formed alliance with the Cullens and their vampire friends and in what was supposed to be a really big battle (I know some of us are still kind of disappointed we didn't get to sink our teeth into any vamps that day) Bella kicked their butts all the way back to Italy with her newfound vampire-induced powers.
After that, life just kind of went on. With vampires in the area, we wolves aren't exactly going to disappear just because immediate trouble has gone. While Bella began to enjoy her marriage bliss in her and Nessie and Edward's cottage (How idyllic is that? A cottage? Really? Can we add a white-picket fence to it, too?), us wolves got to work patrolling the area. No more blood-suckers were coming to town. Absolutely not. The Cullens were enough.
At that point, things began to sort of fall apart between me and Bella. I used to love her, but I can't imagine why I would want to now. She has everything she ever dreamed of and more, and I'm certainly not included in that picture. We're more of distanced acquaintances now. She's all vampire and I'm all wolf. She has a family, I have my pack.
And to be honest, she really stinks now. And I mean that literally.
She's practically Superwoman. I don't have any reason to stick around. I'm not the hero. The hero always gets the girl and you just have to look where we are now to see the answer to that.
I'm no hero.
I'm the furball with attitude.
But only 75% of the time.
I wasn't going to invade Bella's private, vampiric life. She changed and I wasn't – couldn't – follower her down the path she went.
And that was the end of that.
A big clump of snow fell off the branch above me and landed on my head.
I growled and shook the snow off, glaring at the branch. Moments later, I heard the barking laugh of a wolf behind me. Turning around, I saw Leah force her way through the snow towards me. As she did so, another pile of snow fell off the tree branches above, once again landing directly in my face.
Trees have very good aim, you know.
Leah collapsed into a roar of laughter. She had been doing that on an annoyingly large amount of occasions, which made patrolling with her ever so frustrating. That was the problem with this intimate connection between us wolves – you knew everything going on in the minds of everyone else in the pack. Leah also had the uncomfortable trait of being the only female in the pack. With the usual exception of Seth, who being her brother could deal with it fairly well, Leah's mind was an intrusion on our very male group intellect. About 80% of the time, she was thinking things that either downright confused us or embarrassed us, which made things slightly uncomfortable.
This was exceptionally bad for me, since Leah's attention was turned towards me the majority of the time and she had no shame in sharing her thoughts with all the guys in the pack. They found it entertaining and had considered giving her an award. Leah found my reaction to her remarks ridiculously hilarious.
My opinion: Leah really needed to keep her thoughts somewhere else.
Sometimes I just wanted to run in the opposite direction.
As if that would do any good.
But it was worth trying anyway.
I turned and sprinted as fast as I could in the snow, my hind legs throwing a pile of it into her face. She yelped, trying to shake it off, and darted after me.
Jacob! You idiot!
Don't sneak up on me like that!
You're the one standing around daydreaming. Aren't we supposed to be patrolling?
Shut up.
She chuckled, wolf-fashion.
The thing with Leah was that she had really changed in the past year. I wasn't sure what had caused her dynamic difference, but she had gone from sarcastic, grumpy, insulting, disgruntled she-wolf to being sarcastic (no change there) in a humorous, I'll-insult-you-in-any-kind-of-way she-wolf.
She drew up beside me and we ran through the snow, side-by-side, for a while. The forest was deathly quiet. The only sounds were that of the wind knocking snow off of the trees and us as we moved across the woods.
Found anything interesting to break up the monotony that is Forks? I asked.
Not really, she replied. The Cullens have their house decorated for Christmas.
I noticed, I growled. Why d'you mention it?
She stopped and sat down. Her large golden eyes stared unblinkingly at me.
What?
Since when do the blood-suckers celebrate Christmas?
We were moving again.
Since… always? I dunno. Bella used to be human—
They all used to be human—
–MORE RECENTLY than the others. Give them a break.
Sure thing, boss. Now here's the real question – why were you on vamp land?
I growled. Why were you?
I was looking for you!
Right. Of course, Leah.
I'm sure Bella and Edward don't mind a pesky wolf sniffing around, though. He can probably still hear your thoughts as we run in the opposite direction from Bloodsucker Mansion.
Shut up.
Sure, all right, no problem. She was quiet for a moment. Then – Have you found anything?
No.
We trotted on in silence for a few minutes.
Then Leah was about to say something. I cut across her.
We're out on patrol no matter what the season.
If she could pout in wolf-form, she probably would have, just to get on my nerves.
But! But! But!
She said it in what I had dubbed her "girly blonde" voice. I imagined it was what Rosalie would have sounded like when she was human.
Fine, Jacob. Her tone was back to normal now. Sorry for mentioning the Cullens. Didn't realize that you still had a crush on Bella.
Oh, shut up! I bared my teeth and growled. Sometimes it was a lot easier to express yourself when you were a wolf. Humans get too complicated. I kicked snow at her and cantered away.
You're getting my clothes soaked! she yelled, running after me.
Too bad, so sad.
Charming, she growled.
The pack had taken a liking to attaching our clothes – usually a pair of pants and a shirt – to our backs before phasing. In the summer, it was just a pair of ragged jeans for me attached to one of my legs, but winter had the wonderfully problematic thing known as snow. Our clothes would usually be soaked by the time we phased back and wanted to wear them if we kept them attached to our legs, so we kept them on our backs instead. Most of the time we would return home before phasing back and therefore didn't really need the clothes – but we carried them just in case.
You have no idea how much it sucks if you're stuck in the middle of the forest stark naked in the middle of winter and standing in a three-foot high pile of snow.
It sucks.
Leah caught up with me within minutes. She was the fastest of the pack – I couldn't outrun her. The snow didn't hinder her as much as it did me since she was smaller, slimmer and lighter.
An important lesson – never throw snow at Leah while she's in wolf form. Or human form, but wolf form is worse. No matter what form she's in, she'll kick your butt.
Leah was on me in a flash, but I knew she was coming and what tactics she would use, so I managed to dodge her – but only for the first time. Her "revenge for the flung snow" fight was not particularly painful, as I was bigger than her and obviously neither of us were going to use our full power against each other. But mock wolf fights are always a lot more fearsome than any mock fistfight humans can get into – claws and teeth have a tendency of doing that. Anyhow, the fight was pretty much amounted to what humans would call a snowball fight. I threw snow at her, so she was going to do the same to me.
Albeit getting the clothes I was carrying on my back appropriately soaked.
What does Jacob not do? Leah said triumphantly after managing – though I really did let her do it – to give me a fair beating.
I was lying face down in a snow bank. I growled, baring my teeth and an amount of snow fell off the tree above me, showering me with the white stuff.
Again.
Jacob hates winter. I slowly got to my feet.
Jacob doesn't try to throw snow at me.
Leah needs to learn to enjoy all aspects of winter, I shot back sarcastically.
You're lucky, I didn't go full-out on you.
You're lucky I didn't go full-out on you.
She laughed, her long tongue lolling out. Whisking around and delivering a fair amount of snow in my face, she took off through the forest. I followed her, groaning as I pushed my way through the snow after her, wishing that I was lighter and wouldn't sink in as much.
We continued to make our way along the patrol loop, making our way around Forks and then back up home.
When are we meeting up with the others? Leah asked presently.
Soon. I could hear the presence of the rest of the pack clearly in my mind, but they were all still far away. It was a rather rhetoric question. She knew the answer even before asking the question, and she knew where the others were just as easily as I did.
Jake, stop.
There was something in her voice that was different. Softer. More feminine.
I rarely saw this side of Leah.
What? I asked, turning.
We were in the middle of a clearing now. Leah had sat down and had raised her head towards the sky. She howled – a long and almost yearning sound.
What was that for? I asked.
She lowered her head and her golden eyes looked hard at me, unblinkingly.
I read her thoughts and inched away from her. If I had been human at the time, I would have blushed quite a lot. I whisked away across the clearing, but Leah was faster than me. She dashed around the other way and cantered to a stop right in front of me. I pulled up short to avoid a collision.
Jacob, it's time we talked.
Yeah, about what again?
She growled. Stop being an idiot. You know perfectly well what. Our minds are connected, after all.
God, this was going to be so embarrassing – the whole pack would tease us later. Especially Seth. That was the problem with this particular group dynamic – no privacy.
I turned, trying to ignore her.
You know, Leah, I said, trying to keep her off-topic and away from where she wanted to go, we should really get going. We need to meet up with the rest of the pack in case they've—
They can wait.
I'M the leader, you do as I say! And I say we need to—
Suddenly, she launched herself at me and pushed me back down into the snow. Her claws dug into my fur, but it didn't really hurt.
Hey, furball – shut up and listen!
Get off me first!
She did so, rather reluctantly, and instead prowled from side to side in front of me as I got up.
What was that for?! I shouted.
You know perfectly what that was for! Leah countered. Read. My. Mind.
I'd really rather not?
Why? Continuing to want to be the little boy, are we? You may be sixteen years old physically, Jacob Black, but you do not look like a child and you've seen enough of this world to have an adult's mind as well. Why are you scared?
I'm not scared.
She bared her teeth. Liar.
WHAT? I am not! What do you want me to do, Leah?
She was silent for a while, and just paced around in the snow instead.
I stared at her. Don't tell me you've imprinted on me, I barked.
She stopped pacing and then howled with laughter – that sarcastic, wolfish laughter that was all Leah Clearwater. GOD, you are an idiot.
I was joking, you know.
Sure. Of course.
I would know if you'd imprinted.
She snorted. Heh. I wish I had imprinted. Then I wouldn't be having so much trouble getting your attention.
I shifted uncomfortably. This was one of the most awkward situations I had ever been in. Leah knew exactly what was going on in my mind – she new perfectly well that I was fighting my feelings for her. The entire thing was just weird. I mean – she was Leah! Leah's always just been… Leah. About six months ago it kept getting increasingly clearer and clearer that she was harbouring feelings for me. Feelings that had turned into some kind of twisted love. I say twisted because I knew about it. It embarrassed me. After all, I haven't exactly been the most successful guy when it comes to romantic relationships. And then Leah kept trying to hide it, until she discovered how much fun it was to make me embarrassed…
And then when embarrassment turned into frustration, I began to realize that love is a very complex thing. More complicated than I could ever have imagined. Leah and me… we're not the wolf version of Edward and Bella. We didn't just fall in love. We're not like the other wolves. We didn't imprint.
It just kind of happened. To both of us.
And behind our backs, the others snigger that we did actually imprint on each other and just because we deny that trait so much we didn't even notice what had happened.
The thing was that I kept trying to deny it. Even now, in this clearing, I was trying to deny it and it was making me more and more uncomfortable as the minutes passed. I was getting closer and closer to the point of bolting away from her, but I knew Leah would just catch up to me and the whole thing would come out anyway.
I was at the point where I didn't really have much of a choice in the matter.
Leah sat in front of me, her head cocked slightly to the side as she heard the chaotic thoughts in my mind. Finally, she barked at me.
What?
Fine, she said, her golden eyes glittering. If you're really refusing to listen to me at all, perhaps I can make things easier.
She turned and she dashed away. I sat still, knowing exactly where she was going and what she was doing. Moments later, a tall, muscular black-haired girl stepped out from behind the trees, her pants and shirt soaking wet from the snow I had flung at them earlier. She stood knee-deep in the snow and folded her arms, leaning against a tree.
"All right, Jacob," she said. "Let's talk."
I growled and stepped backwards to the other side of the clearing. The problem was that she was even more distracting in her human form than she was in her wolf one. I doubted I could even get a coherent thought out.
I really just wanted to run away.
Leah sighed. "Jake."
I'm not getting out of this now, am I?
I whined.
She shook her head. "Go phase," she ordered. "Now."
As Seth would say, it must be a sign of love when the Alpha wolf gets ordered around. Okay, I didn't have to do as Leah said, but the tone in her voice made me do it anyway.
I disappeared into the trees and once Leah was out of sight, I phased. I dressed and then trudged through the snow back to the clearing.
Leah smiled tightly and made her way towards me.
We met in the centre of the clearing.
"You know," she said, "you should probably cut your hair sometime."
"What's wrong with my hair?!"
"It's longer than mine, that's what."
"But I'm the furball, that's the point."
She snorted. "Is there supposed to be a point?"
"Sure, why not?"
Leah rolled her eyes. "Right."
As if Leah in wolf form is bad enough, Leah in human form is down-right distracting. Sometimes I do have to wonder whether or not I did imprint on her, because she's the most beautiful person I know. As sappy as that sounds, it's all true. She's prettier than Bella and Rosalie put together.
Part of that might be because she is still human, wolf or no wolf. Whereas Bella and Rosalie are just… cold. And married. So why compare the vampires to Leah at all?
"What are you looking at?" she asked, eyebrows raised.
I caught myself and looked away. "Er… nothing."
She took my hand in hers. Her hand was very warm, contrasting with the cold snow that came up to our knees. "That's okay," she said. "I understand."
"Understand what?!"
She looked peculiarly at me for a moment and then doubled over laughing. I watched as she helplessly erupted into gales of laughter, unable to stop.
"Leah?"
"Never… mind," she said, pressing a hand to her mouth. Eventually, she managed to control her giggles.
"You wanted to talk," I said, folding my arms. "Well, then – talk."
"Good for you," she said, the laughter now finally past. Her tone was serious. "You've finally stopped avoiding me."
"I haven't—"
"Liar."
"Okay, all right, I sort of have been avoiding you—kind of—"
"Maybe I should add 'hypocrite' to my list as well," Leah mused.
"Leah!"
"All right, all right!" She held up her hands in defence. "Sorry. Can't help it."
"Why are we standing in the middle of a clearing knee-deep in snow just to talk, anyways?" I demanded.
"Oh, come on Jake, you can't seriously be cold—"
"I'm not!"
"Oh good, I was just about to add 'wuss' to my list of names for you as well."
I glared at her.
She smiled back innocently.
I came up with a better way of dealing with her. I bent down and scooped up a handful of snow and threw it at her. The snowball hit her in the face.
"JACOB BLACK!" she shrieked.
"You deserved it!" I yelled back.
She smirked and scooped up a ball of snow between her palms and threw it at me. I dodged, but it still managed to catch my side. At least the snowball missed my face.
In defence, I threw one back at her and an explosion of snow hit her stomach, getting her clothes even more wet.
Leah tossed another one in my direction.
We chased each other around the clearing, throwing snowballs at each other until we were both extremely soaked and the snow on the ground was completely churned up. I threw my last snowball at her when we were only a few feet apart. She dodged, but tripped over her own feet and stumbled forwards. The snowball missed, but I caught her before she face-planted into the snow.
We were both laughing too hard at this point to really do anything else. Leah seemed to only notice that I was holding her several minutes after I had caught her. A mischievous look came into her eyes and she quickly straightened and planted a kiss on my lips.
Her lips were soft and warm and she did sort of surprise me. I drew back and gave her a quizzical look.
"Do I even need to ask?"
Leah grinned. "This is why I told you to phase into your human form."
I raised an eyebrow. "Just so you could kiss me?"
She smirked. "Why not?"
Somehow, the way she said it was hysterical. I tried to keep from laughing. In my mind, I was going over the days I had spent trying to ignore some of the more intimate thoughts in her mind and basically avoiding her and decided that there was nothing more I could really do.
"I guess we're stuck together now," I said.
Leah's arms were around my neck, our faces inches apart. "I kind of like that," she said. "Done running away?"
"For now."
She scowled. "Better not think about doing that anymore, furball."
"Would you stop calling me that?" I said sharply.
Leah grinned. "But it's funny!"
"To you maybe."
"But you still love me, don't you?"
And there it was. The question. The question I had been ignoring, avoiding and trying not to think about. The question that had been in my face for sixth months ever since Leah had come to terms with the fact that she loved me. The question that I had to deal with and learn to ignore my pack's whimsical remarks every single day when we were on patrol because of the thoughts going through Leah's unfiltered mind.
"Yeah," I said. "I love you."
"Well, that's something."
She kissed me again as the snow fell from the sky, and just in that moment, all thoughts of vampires and packs and patrols were forgotten – and the world was just us.
