Len was lucky that he'd born a man, because otherwise he would've been a slut instead of a stud. But, whatever unfairness there was in life, this one at least worked in his favor: He'd learned early on how easy it was to make girls fall for him, how to wheedle his way into their good graces with a bright smile and a sly look from under blond bangs. It was almost kind of sad, and he remembered being younger, lighter, far more innocent, and laughing about it with Rin. That was years ago, though, and he didn't talk about that with her anymore.
Part of him knew that it was probably pretty futile; gossip got around, after all, and what he was doing with half the pretty girls at school was legend. Hell, he wasn't even restricted by the girls he saw in the hallways; though no-one could quite say for sure, it was rumored he was playing gigolo to several older woman, one of whom was a stunning redhead who'd dropped him off at school. Well, Lean didn't see any reason not to bank off his natural talents, but still, he didn't... He didn't want Rin to know. Just because.
He didn't want her to think any less of him. She'd be the only one, he knew, who would, because everyone else was either busy envying him or trying to be with him. Rin would just stamp her foot impatiently if he tried to brush it off, and demand to know why he treated those poor girls so badly. And what could Len say to that? Definitely not the truth, anyway.
No matter what Rin might already feel about him, Len knew that she'd hate him if he told her why he slept around.
Miku was probably his first, if only because it seemed like he'd known her the longest, aside from Rin, and she wouldn't tell anyone if something went wrong. It was with Miku that Len discovered how easy it was to twist a girl to your liking, the places to touch her and the right words to say to make her promise you anything if you made her yours. Miku wasn't the easiest girl to get along with, sometimes she could be demanding, but after a few tries she was as good as Len's forever. Len figured that it was always better to have a standby, and she wasn't very high-maintenance. She had a nice voice, and it was even nicer when she was whimpering his name.
Meiko was the next one that Len would qualify as a 'regular,' a sexy older-sister type he met at an audition. He'd won the part and gone home with her number, and Len had been pleasantly surprised to find that Meiko was more than happy to use both her connections and her "experience" for his benefit. As a bonus, the older woman was used to the no-strings-attached affair, and she always slipped Len some cash before she kissed him good-bye until next time.
Kasame rounded out Len's personal harem, a junior at school with goth-loli hair in a distinctly non-goth bright pink, a childish type who always insisted they eat out (and thank god that Meiko gave him spending-money). Kasame was the latest addition, someone who'd come up to Len on her own as he made his rounds at the arcade, latching onto him like a puppy and rarely leaving his side. In retrospect, Len might admit that maybe she was a little young, but he wasn't that many years older than her and she could do a lot worse than him for her first time. (And, according to Miku and Meiko, not much better... but Len didn't need to brag.)
Interspersed among those three were a small crowd of other girls who came and went, classmates or girls he met at his part-time job, or maybe just girls who caught a glimpse of him out somewhere and were instantly smitten. There was a pretty large number of those, if Len ever bothered to add it up; it was a good thing for him that he couldn't let himself get too big of an ego.
How good could his luck really be, after all, if he had no chance with the only one he actually cared for?
Maybe Len was a heartless playboy, but he hadn't always been that way. When he was younger, his entirely world had consisted of only Len and Rin; they hadn't needed anyone else, and they'd always thought it'd stay that way. But they'd gotten older, and although Len knew Rin had never started loving him any less, he slowly began realizing that he was starting to love her more. They were fourteen when he first realized that they couldn't always be together, when she confided in him with a giggle and a smile the tall, dark, and handsome man she knew would come for her one day: This faceless man was the opposite of her twin, who was - like Rin herself - blond and cute, and it dawned on Len that he was nothing like the man his sister wanted to marry.
In the footsteps of that crushing thought was the knowledge that he, as Rin's brother, shouldn't be having such feelings about her in the first place. He should have teased her about it and let it go, instead of staring in startled shock and trying desperately to stifle the numbness spreading through his heart.
Well, fine. If he couldn't be with Rin, he'd find someone else, just as she'd find someone to replace him. In a world full of available women, surely there'd be another girl who could make Len forget about these feelings for his sister? Wouldn't there be someone in the world who could make Len love her as he already loved Rin?
Four years later, Len had found the answer to that question, and the answer was definitively 'NO.' All those women and the only thing he could think of while he was touching them was 'What would Rin feel like, if I could touch her here?' 'What would she say as she curled against my skin?' 'Would she be a screamer, like Miku, or a moaner like Meiko, or just hungry the way Kasame always is?' Len thought that Rin would be different from all of them because Rin was entirely her own, and when frustrated desire conflicted with the guilt of those feelings, Len was always rougher with whatever girl he was with.
Len thought that he was probably a terrible person, and if there was a Heaven he wouldn't be going there with Rin. Len thought that was probably for the best, because if he could barely keep himself away from her as it was, how could he do so for all of time?
The twins hadn't been in the same classroom for almost as long, and the worst part of it was that Len didn't think Rin had even noticed the growing distance between them. Didn't she care at all of they were drifting apart? Was she really as happy as she seemed, always all smiles and sunshine? If so, then what was wrong with Len, that he couldn't be as happy as Rin? Well, he knew the answer to that already...
And still, Len thought that he'd be able to handle it, even if it meant living out his life in perpetual sin. He'd thought that, until Rin had... Until that guy had...
Even now, almost a year later, just the thought of what had happened was enough to make Len's blood boil, his fists tightening until his knuckles were white and his body sang with tension. At first it was just a line or two at the table during breakfast and during dinner, a faint blush that spread over Rin's smooth cheeks as she said "Kaito-sensei is such a wonderful teacher," or "Kaito-sensei is only a new graduate, but he's already done so much!" It wasn't until later that Len actually saw this 'Kaito-sensei,' a tall man with dark-blue hair and a white coat. Begrudgingly, hating it, Len had to admit that the man was good-looking; this new teacher was exactly the kind of tall, dark, and handsome that Rin had described not five years ago, and now Rin's dream-man was smiling at her shamelessly just outside the classroom, the way a teacher definitely shouldn't be smiling at his student, making Rin turn pink with happiness. Silhouetted by sunlight, the sight of her made Len's heart skip a beat, but even the fawning of Neru and Yowane couldn't banish the jealousy that filled his heart.
Len never brought the subject up, and Rin never mentioned it; probably, thought Len venomously, too happy with her little secret romance. And as time passed, and Rin became more and more radiant with happiness, Len felt his heart grow darker and darker, until it was a daily struggle to keep that side of him from Rin's eyes. Even now, she was still the one thing that Len knew to be pure: Women were all too ready to whore themselves out, men were too eager to use them, but Rin was still just the innocent girl she'd always been. Rin had been easily fooled by this Kaito guy, who had to be some kind of pervert for using his teacher's status like this against a student... but Len guessed that Kaito didn't have the market cornered on perversion.
And even then, Len had managed to hide his true self from Rin, that self who had become a selfish man, using others for his own pleasure in a desperate attempt to fill the void that was never satisfied. Len often stayed over at one girl's house or another, sometimes at two in one night, but he always made sure to be home by the time that Rin woke up, slipping back into Apartment 202 before anyone else was awake. That way he would always be home in time to see her just after she woke from sleep, her blonde hair mussed from her pillow, an unguarded expression on her face that was rarely seen any other time. Rin would smile and say 'good morning,' and Len always let her into the bathroom to get ready first - Partially because it made her happy, partially because he needed the time to recover, wondering what it would be like to wake with her sleeping face next to his, curled together as they were when they were children, but with an entirely new level of meaning to their actions.
As the year drew to a close, Len could take solace in only one thing: The year would end, and he and Rin would graduate, and that'd be the end of the Rin's infatuation with Kaito. But on the second-to-last day of class, Rin didn't meet Len at the school gates as she usually did, and rather than walk home alone Len went looking for her. He remembered thinking that it was too empty to be real, the glow of the sunset casting orange-gold light through all of the deserted hallways, and he automatically began treading softer, his shoes making no noise against the white tile. When he came to Rin's classroom, the silence of the abandoned school made the soft, plaintive sound that followed all the more obvious, making the very blood freeze within Len's veins.
Len knew that sound well, had elicited it from the slender throats of countless pretty girls, but this was in a voice that he had known all his life, the one voice he'd always known he would never, ever be able to play in such a manner. Although his mind was telling him to run, no matter if they heard his retreating steps, a morbid curiosity drove him forward to see if the myriad images in his head were anything close to true.
Framed against the setting sun, Rin was perched on her desk by the window, clinging tightly to her teacher so that her fingers pulled furrows in his coat. Rin's face was half-buried in Kaito's shoulder, the curve of her cheeks scarlet and her murmuring, half-muffled words almost pleading, as her dark-haired lover traced his lips over her bared neck and pulled her towards him with one arm. The other arm was... Where was his other hand? Len's view was, perhaps mercifully, obscured by that damned white coat, but it couldn't be possible that they were... Rin wouldn't...
... Would she?
Anger and jealousy rouse to an unbearable pitch in Len's head, a sudden cacophony of emotions that left him feeling weak and dizzy with their sheer force, as though his legs would collapse from under him at any moment. Len was a breath away from kicking the door wide open and demanding to know what the hell was going on, dragging Rin away from that so-called teacher and possibly trying his damndest to kill Kaito at the same time... but at the last minute he forced himself away from the door, staggering down the hall, scrubbing away hot, poisonous tears a moment away from beginning to scream and never, ever being able to stop.
The rest of the afternoon was a blur to Len, as was the ensuing night; he knew only that at some point he'd calmed down, had picked up a girl near the train-station and taken her to a love-hotel and left her exhausted an hour later. Then there had been another, on the way to the closest coffee-machine, and one more at the convenience-store, and before Len was fully aware of himself he was waking up to the ring of his cell on the bedside table, it was two AM in the morning and Miku was lying beside him in an oblivious slumber. Meiko was on the phone, and Len could almost see her sensual lips shaping the playful words that greeted him: Meiko understood that Len was on a spree tonight, wouldn't it be fun if he could drop by her place for a while? Len smiled, laughed, and agreed he'd be there as soon as he could.
Len did not go to Meiko's that night, and spent hours wandering until he finally realized that, if he were going to get home before Rin knew he was gone, he'd have to head back at once. The sky was filtering pale-blue pre-dawn light by the time he made it back to the apartment, and at roughly that time Miku woke to find herself in an empty bed. A slender hand lingered over the mattress, but the sheets were cold; Len had not been beside her for some time. To herself, Miku admitted that he probably had never been with her to begin with.
His key scraped the keyhole once before it slide into the lock and he let himself in; it was just another early morning, but this time he stopped before he entered his own room, his aqua-green gaze staring at the sign on Rin's door with an inscrutable expression. He should just go into his room, throw off his clothes and get some sleep before the day's graduation ceremonies, but Len couldn't bring himself to pretend that he hadn't seen what he'd seen. Rin had always been untouchable to him, but didn't she see herself the same way? Len had accepted that he couldn't have her, but he'd never thought that he'd have to handle Rin giving herself away! Of all people, of anyone, this Kaito guy... Len's face was a mask, but behind the blank look in his eyes was a storm of turmoil, a futile attempt to banishing the images currently invading his mind. Was this the first time that Rin had...
Had there been anyone else before?
Almost without his conscious control, Len found himself crossing the hall instead, brushing a hand over the silver knob of his sister's door and twisting it slowly, silently, under his fingers. Rin's room was messy as always, but bright with the yellow and - now - blue trim; on her desk was a vase they'd made together, when they were still in elementary school building with empty milk-bottles, but the flowers in the vase were yellow and blue. Len darted a glance at the shadowed corner where Rin was still sleeping, then yanked the violets from among the yellow daisies with such force that their petals crushed in his hand, making a soft brushing whisper as he tossed them into the wastebasket.
How long had it been since he'd been in his sister's room?
Len's footsteps were just as silent as they'd been the day before, and he crossed the floor to her bedside to sweep his eyes over her nightstand. There was the picture from elementary school, where Rin was all smiles and Len was eyeing the camera like it was going to steal her away; there was the picture from their middle-school years, the blush on Len's discomfited features a direct result of Rin's close proximity. In front of both was a framed image of Kaito and Rin, their cheeks pressed together as Rin looked far too happy as Kaito's arm cradled her to him, and Len was heroically able to resisting shattering the glass right there. The darkness building to the fore once again, Len looked to his sleeping twin and wondered how things could be so very unfair, how they could look so much alike but only Rin could find any sort of peace. Her skin was almost glowing in the cool light, her blonde hair spread out across her pillow like a halo, and there was a hint of a smile curving her lips; Len's tender thoughts, at Rin's angelic appearance, was marred by the question of what was causing that almost-smile. Was Rin dreaming of their past happiness together, as Len did almost every night, or was she dreaming of her azure-haired lover?
Absorbed in his own thoughts, Len almost didn't notice it when Rin began to stir, stretching like a feline under her covers as she turned her head towards the light seeping in from the open door. Her eyelids shuttered open like a butterfly's wings, aqua-green in the half-light, and widened as she found herself pinned by a gaze that matched her own. Rin's lips began to form a question, but the blonde was unable to get that far; before a single word was said, Len had leaned over her bed and pinned her to the mattress with his own body, a hand grasping her wrist so tightly that she was sure it would leave a mark. Rin had a moment when she started to struggle, before Len covered her mouth with his own.
Rin tasted like sugar and sunlight, and suddenly Len didn't care what came next: All he could think of was the taste of his one, his only, intent on making her forget the flavor of that bastard who'd been there before him. What, Len wondered, did Len himself taste like?
He'd have to ask Rin, when they were through.
Author's Notes: There may be more, based off the other vids and possibly originals, but for now this is a one-shot.... that got a bit dark near the end? Reviews may help change its one-shot status, though... XD