Hogwarts Express
I walk through the barrier alone. Even when my parents were alive, they couldn't walk through with me.
Somehow I got Petunia to drive me here; she just dropped me off anyway. I must look like a total nut to anyone else in the train station, wheeling around a great big trunk with a cat sitting on top of it.
I'm a bit early, but I don't mind. It gives me some quiet reflection time or whatever. There is a compartment for prefects…and I assume I am to sit there too.
I'm headgirl. Anyone would tell you, that's no surprise. I suppose that I'm precisely what Hogwarts looks for in a headgirl; smart, studious, a mind of my own…so on, so forth. So that's where I ended up.
There is one other person in the compartment I choose, a Ravenclaw girl already in her robes. She is reading a book, and I am guessing she is a fifth year, a new prefect. She happens to glance over her book as I open the door, and a slight blush spreads across her cheeks.
"Hello," she says shyly. She obviously knows who I am but is afraid to say anything more. Everyone knows who I am. Thanks to James Potter.
James Potter is a boy in my year, and everyone knows that he likes me…no, supposedly…loves me. He makes a point to ask me out whenever he can, usually in front of a group of people. Otherwise, I would probably be relatively unknown, happy with my cat, Athena, and my books. And that is where I am happiest.
I don't really have any friends; I'm on polite terms with the girls in my dormitory, but no one I can really trust. I don't really care, as long as I have what I need…which is, as I said before, Athena and my books.
I know James Potter would love to have me though.
Shame I hate him.
I wouldn't hate him, I'm not really a hateful person, he's just such an insolent prat. He's always going around, pulling pranks on everyone at school. He's rude, arrogant, and conceited.
And I've told him.
That just doesn't stop him.
I sit down next to the Ravenclaw girl and pull out a book of my own. She smiles at me again.
The door of the compartment slides open, and I hear him.
"I can't believe it's our seventh year already!" his voice is loud and filled with happiness.
"Why don't we celebrate-"
That's his best friend, Sirius Black. Just as bad as he is, Sirius is.
"Why don't we wait until we've survived this year," a third voice says. That would be Remus Lupin, the third Marauder. He's the okay one. Actually, he's more than okay, he's a friend of mine. I know I said that I don't really have any friends, but Remus and I have a different sort of relationship. We're close, and we tell each other secrets. I've been there for him from the beginning when I found out…
I do hope that he's been made headboy.
But as I look over my book, I see otherwise.
There, pinned to James Potter's robes, is a silver badge. My heart sinks.
This is the boy I have to work with for the rest of this year.
Ouch.
The Great HallFood at Hogwarts is the best. Petunia can't really cook, and neither can I, so over the summer, I mostly live on food from boxes and cans. I keep my head bowed so no one can see my face, my longish red hair hangs in front. Nobody cares.
"Hey, Lily."
It's Remus.
"Hi," I say softly. "How was your summer?"
"It was good," he responds. "I spent a lot of time reading."
"Yeah, me too."
He reaches out a hand and brushes the hair away from my face. If we weren't so close, I'd probably have a crush on him, but we're too good friends. We've gotten beyond the point of liking each other like that.
"Show the world what you're made of, Lily," he's so sweet. How he got wrapped up with the Marauders, I'll never know. "We need to see your smile."
So I smile.
"Lily! Is that a smile for me?"
I groan. James Potter is sitting across from me at the table, looking quite jealous about the moment Remus and I just had.
"No, Potter," I spit. Remus backs away. He hates to get in the middle of these things. I don't blame him.
"Lily, please," now he sounds desperate. "Next trip to Hogsmeade? We can…get a butterbeer or something fun like that."
"No, Potter," I repeat. "How many times do I have to say it before it goes through your thick head?"
"Lily…"
I stand up suddenly and toss my hair. Everyone stares at me. I hate this.
"What are you looking at?" I snap. There's a buzz of voices and everyone turns away.
Dumbledore smiles and stands up at his podium.
"Thank you, Ms. Evans," he says calmly. Blushing, I sit back in my seat. "A few words before we head off to our dormitories."
Dumbledore says his usual speech, not that he has a usual speech, it's just what he says in different ways of saying it. If that made any sense.
I gather the first years together.
The Common Room"I expect you to help me, Potter," I snap as the boy jokes with Sirius.
"Of course, Lily," he says sickeningly sweet.
I don't quite remember when he stopped calling me Evans and started calling me Lily. Actually, I don't remember. It must be a new thing.
The first years are amazed at what is going on, everything around them and the like. James thinks it's amusing when one falls through the trick step halfway up to the dormitory. I slap him round the face, but only after I help the younger girl, who is in hysterics. This shuts Potter up for a bit.
"Corpus Rosa," I say to the fat lady in the portrait. She smiles at me.
"Good evening, Lily dear." And she swings open for us.
After I show the first years to their dormitories and make sure everyone else gets to where they need to be, I settle down in one of the comfy chairs with a book in my hand and Athena on my lap.
Unfortunately, someone else has the same idea.
"Lily," I hear him say in a hushed voice. This alone is enough for me to look up in shock. He never speaks that softly…he always wants to be heard.
But I catch my mouth before it drops open.
"What do you want, Potter?"
"You," he grabs my hand. Athena bristles and bites him. He doesn't pull away; in fact, I'm not sure he even noticed. He has a look of extreme concentration on his face.
"Well we both know that's never going to happen," I say briskly, trying to pull my hand away.
He just brings it up and kisses it softly.
Shivers run up and down my spine. Potter and I may have been in school together for the past six years, and most of them he has been lusting after me, but he has never, ever touched me. I didn't expect his touch to be this soft, gentle…caring.
But it is.
"I've changed, Lily," he's using the same quiet voice. "Over the summer. I just…I don't want to hurt anyone, most of all you."
I blink.
This cannot be happening.
"Lily?"
"Please, Potter," my tone is soft now, my vocal cords have failed me, and I don't know why. "Don't touch me. Just…leave me alone."
He looks almost sad, dejected.
"Lily, you don't understand-"
I stand up. He, still grasping my hand, stands up with me.
"No, you're the one who doesn't understand!" Okay, now I have my voice back. "Time after time, you ask me out over and over again; don't you get it, I don't like you! In fact, I detest you. And nothing, nothing is going to change-"
Uhoh…I didn't notice how close to me he's gotten. He's at least half a foot taller than me, and it really shows now. I try to squirm away, but he has his arms around my waist.
"Forgive me," he says with a slight smile.
I am about to ask him for what when he leans down and kisses me.
The Common Room Number TwoI don't even remember falling asleep, but here I am, asleep, on a sofa in the common room, quite comfortable…
On James Potter.
Oh no…
I run over the past nights events in my head…normal, normal, normal stuff…but….
He kissed me.
Oh no…
And I kissed him back.
I don't know how to explain this, I really don't; it's just that when he touches me, I get the chills. My stomach does flip flops, and I turn bright red.
And I know that isn't hate.
I am getting up when I feel him grab onto my robes and pull me back down.
"No, Potter, please, don't do this to me," I whisper, I plead with him. "Don't make me feel like this."
I know he hears me, because he just puts on that sly smile and traces my lips with his finger. I am powerless in his arms.
"Sorry, Lils, now you see how I feel."
"It's…it's not fair," I stammer. "No, you can't…you can't make me feel this way."
"Then how come you can make me feel this way for six years?"
I have no answer for this. All I can do is close my eyes, and pray for this to be a dream.
But it's not, I know it's not.
End of the YearI don't know how any of this happened, I really don't. After that…fateful night in the common room, Potter…James and I just started. The beginning of us. I guess we were a "couple" though it was never really made official. I guess it didn't have to be.
I don't know how it happened.
I just know that his touch can make me melt, his lips are heaven, his strong arms around mine are my safety. I will never be in danger, because he will always be by my side.
And although I know this sounds like a very sappy ending, it's not.
AboveI sit in that same chair, only I'm not in the common room anymore. I'm watching from above. I relive this as much as I can, to forget the pain. But I know I am safe, because James is still by my side. We relive this together, when we're not watching our son.
Love is a magic that runs so deep, it can never be forgotten. Nothing can conquer it. That is how I know I will always be here, with James, watching Harry.
Love.
A/N- Wow. That almost made me cry…anyway…I really like it…I hope everyone else does…so…yayz…