A/n: I'm back, with another fic. This was originally going to be a three-shot, but I got another idea afterwards. (Especially as it got deleted twice in a row... Anybody have any idea how many infractions you're allowed before they delete your account?) Well, I hope you guys like this. Oh, and please don't kill me for it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or any of its characters. I just borrow them for the purpose of writing none-profit fanfiction to entertain.

A/n: It starts in Ray's POV and bold letters mark lyrics to the song "My Immortal", from Evanescence. Don't own it!!! Well. Ready? 3... 2... 1... LET IT RIP!

Dedicated to Crystal-chan, better known as A Dragon's Crystal: For being such an awesome friend, and supporting me all the time. Thank you so much, Crystal-chan!!! S.B.U.!!! (Sugar Buddies Unite! Hee hee...)

Confused Emotions Act I: Sorrow, Tears, and Resolution

"Ray? Are you still up?"

Hearing a female voice, whose owner I thought was asleep since a few hours ago, I turned my now dull golden eyes to face the one directing herself to me. Mariah... Her own bright amber eyes were reflecting worry towards her team captain. Yes, team captain. I , Ray Kon, ex-member of the Bladebreakers, am now a leader and part of the major Chinese team, the White Tiger X.

"Yeah." I whispered, flashing her a smile, one that was meant to be bright and reassuring but that instead came out sad and melancholic, before turning to look out the window. After letting my eyes wander through the black starless sky, my gaze came to rest on the moon which shone like a gorgeous perfect pearl in the middle of a deep, dark, never-ending ocean.

"Oh, Ray... You don't look okay. What's wrong? You know you can always tell me." My pink-haired fellow neko-jin teammate pleaded as she moved from her futon to mine, careful to not trip over Lee or the others, until she was at my side. Putting a hand on my shoulder, she begged for me to tell her what was wrong. Should I tell her, or shouldn't I?

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears. And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave.

"Honest, Mariah. Nothing's wrong. You don't have to worry about me." I said as I stood up from my sitting position on my futon, tossing my plain white sheets aside as I did so.

Of course, I should've known she wouldn't give up that easily. We all know how stubborn Mariah was... that's probably one of the reasons why she's an expert beyblader. Heh heh... name me at least ONE person who is more stubborn than her. One person... other than... Kai. I choked on my thoughts.

Your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone.

At that moment, what felt like a wave of depression coursed its path through my body, until I found myself leaning on the wooden wall for support, struggling to keep these bothersome tears of mine from falling from my stubborn eyes.

These wounds won't seem to heal...

"Ray? Ray! What's wrong?!" Mariah cried out alarmed, making it to my side at the speed of light. But I couldn't hear her desperate worried cries. My mind, and my eyes, for that matter, where too clouded of sorrow and tears, respectively... Finally giving in to the invincible feelings bubbling inside me, I spilt the tears I've been hiding for these last weeks...

...This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase.

"How could you do this to me, Kai? I opened myself to you, thinking I was getting through to you. I handed my heart to you on a silver platter... I told you... that I loved you..." I muttered, my entire body shaking, my bangs obscuring my face, the tears welling up in my eyes, then falling to form a small pool at my feet.

"Kai?" Mariah said softly, before she gasped as soft sobs escaped from me. "Ray?" she cried out in anxiousness as she hugged me tightly.

.....................Flashback....................................

"Umm... Kai?" I turned to look at my stoic team captain, who was sitting on a huge flat stone in front of the small pond at Tyson's home. He looked as if he had been meditating. When he looked at me, his flaming crimson eyes held so much mystery to me.

"Yes, Ray? What is it?" he asked as he motioned me to sit next to him. Reluctantly, I took a seat on the stone next to him. I was so close to him that the warmth emanating from him was driving me crazy!

"Well, Kai... I've, um, I've been wanting to-ah... to tell you something for quite a while now." I stuttered, feeling a bothersome warmth spread over my cheeks forming a furious blush. How could I tell him how I felt? I was risking everything... his trust, his friendship... everything that we had developed during the past three years. At first, Kai seemed to be waiting patiently for me to say whatever it was that I was going to say, but I could tell that he was now getting a bit... anxious.

"Look, Ray, just spit it out."

"O...ok. Kai, I... oh jeez... Kai, I love you." I swiftly turned to the side, fidgeting with my fingers, waiting for a reply. Kai just sat there, speechless, without moving, like a beautiful stone statue, and I thought I was gonna die. Luckily, Max and Tyson unknowingly came to the rescue.

"Yo, Ray! Come over here, dude! Tyson's trying to snag the Triple C's again!" came Max's call, and thanking God for this, I fled from that spot, without hearing Kai out, IF he had planned to say something, anyway.

...........................End of Flashback ........................

"And I never found out if you loved me, if you hated me... if you didn't care... But then again, you ignored me the rest of that day, and the very next day you left to join theBlitzkrieg Boys by the new G rules... you didn't even say goodbye to me, even though the others told me you bid farewell to them... Even to Tyson, who we all thought you disliked with all your guts. I guess you DO hate me, don't you?"

When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years but you still have 'hold of me...

"I looked out for you during these last years while we were on the Bladebreakers... I helped you get through so many difficult stages in your life... like the several times when you lost Dranzer... to Biovolt... to Zeo... I was always there for you, comforting you, presenting you with my shoulder, so you could spill all your tears on it. And the way you responded back to me, not ignoring me like you did with the others, but actually welcoming me in... It was as if you saw me as the only someone worth your while in this life. That's why... that's why I allowed myself to... to... love you."

You used to captivate me by your resonating light but now I'm bound by the life you left behind.

"Everything about you captivated me so... To me, you were everything... my sun, my moon, my world, my stars... My perfect, shining phoenix... No... You're not mine... You never will be mine. Argh! Why can't I just forget about you!" I cried as I clutched my head with my hands, Mariah tightening her grip around me, stroking my hair gently.

These feelings... they are just too painful for me! Please, make them stop! Ever since that day, I haven't had a peaceful night's sleep. You haunt my dreams, Kai. You... drive me insane.

Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams. Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me.

These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase.

When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years but you still have 'hold of me.

Startling Mariah, I threw myself at my bed, moaning in pain, as it all hurt too much. It didn't matter if it was all just in my mind, not in my body. Right now, I'm certain nothing has ever hurt me more. Never felt intense pain before? Try a broken heart.

"Ok... you're gone, Kai. Gone! I know you're not here!" I wailed as Mariah rushed to my side again. "Just.. leave me alone... Please..." I sobbed at my thoughts of Kai. "Please..."

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone... But though you're still with me I've been alone all along.

Mariah gently grabbed me, and made me settle down. She stroked my hair softly again, all the while shushing me and whispering comforting words to me.

Kai... you... my memories of you are just too painful for me. I have to forget you... No. I WILL forget you. I just... need to clear some things up in my head.

After what seemed like hours, Mariah had apparently fallen asleep, leaning on the wall, with my head resting on her lap. During the past half hour, she had talked to me... comforted me... and when I asked her what to do about Kai, if I should forget him or not, she told me... that I should follow my heart, and she would be behind me two-hundred percent.

I got up, and gently picked her up, making my way through the others' futons, until I came to hers. I gently set her down, tucking her in and placing a gentle kiss on my "little sister's" forehead. I smiled. She was so special to me... My little sister, who would never abandon me, even if I didn't love her the same way she loved me.

I sat on my futon, thinking. I couldn't go to sleep... not now... I decided I needed to catch some air. It was around 2:40 A.M., but who cared?

Grabbing a black Chinese outfit, I slipped it on. Deciding against using my headband and wrap, I just tied my hair in a low ponytail. Ok. Now, where would I go?

Oh yes. I knew where. The only place that could wash away all my doubts... Where else, but the beach?

When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years... But you still have 'hold of me...

To be continued...?

Ruby: Yep! Here we go! Well I guess those of you who read the preview of this fic in the last chapter of "Dried Tears" noticed that the storyline here was a bit different than I previewed. Heh heh... Sorry... I just got inspired to make it a little different when I heard that song... I just love it, it's so beautiful!

Kai: (eyes wide) I... I can't believe you made me do that to Ray, Ruby!

Ruby: Don't worry. Ray knows it's only a fiction. Right, Ray? (turns to face Ray, except he's not there) Ray?

Tyson and Max: (out of nowhere) Umm, Ruby?

Ruby: Yeah?

Tyson: Why is Ray acting all weird? (points at Ray all depressed)

Ruby: (sweatdrop) Ray! This isn't true! It's just a fiction!

Kai: (walks over to Ray and hugs him) It's ok, kitten. I'm here... That was just an evil, EVIL chapter from my sister. (glares at Ruby)

Ray: (sniffing and hugs Kai back) Kai... Do you... love me?

Kai: Of course I do, my kitten. ( kisses Ray passionately)

Tyson: (blushing and covering Max's eyes) Cover your eyes, Maxie!

Ruby: Well, now you guys tell me what you think. Should I finish this, or is it a load of trash that HAS to be disposed of? Please review! Reviewers get a chibi Sugar Buddy Ray plushie! Good reviewers get chibi Sugar Buddy Maxie to keep chibi Sugar Buddy Ray company on sugary adventures! Lol Well, later!

Ruby Hiwatari aka Neko Phoenix Girl