DISCLAIMER: The characters are the property of Spelling/Goldberg Productions and Viacom Entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. The story is entirely my own.
TITLE: Putting The Past To Rest
RATING: PG-13
SETTING: Between the second and third seasons, shortly before Willie left.
SUMMARY: Jill gets a phone call that forces her to deal with some of her childhood demons once and for all.
Author's Note: I want to thank Bridget for beta reading this for me, as usual. I also want to especially thank Chuck for giving me the incentive to put my grieving into perspective.
PART ONE: The phone call
It was a warm June afternoon. Jill was cooking dinner when the phone rang. She hurriedly turned off the stove before picking up the receiver. "Hello?" Jill answered the phone in a breathless voice.
"Jill, this is Cathy," a vaguely familiar voice stated on the other end.
"Cathy?" Jill replied, puzzled. She couldn't quite put her finger on where she knew the voice.
"Cathy Kingston," the woman on the other end of the phone said in a stressed voice.
Suddenly Jill felt herself break out in a cold sweat and she mentally flashed back to being 10 years old again. She remembered this woman calling her all kinds of names after Jill had told her what her husband, Jill's father, had tried to do to her. She then remembered being sent home and being called most of the same names by her grandfather, followed by a trip to the proverbial woodshed when they'd arrived home. Why was this woman calling her after all these years?
"Is there something you wanted?" Jill asked in a slightly shaky voice.
"Amanda gave me your phone number. I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your father passed away last night. It was all rather sudden. He was at work and he had a massive heart attack. If you have a pen and paper handy, I'll give you the funeral information," Cathy continued in a singsong voice, sounding as if she were discussing the weather.
Jill took down the information Cathy gave her in a daze. She had absolutely no intention of flying to Atlanta for the funeral. "Thank you," Jill murmured after Cathy was done. "I don't know if I'll be able to attend the funeral."
"What do you mean, you don't know if you'll be able to attend the funeral?!" Cathy demanded furiously. "Jill, this was your father!"
"I'm just saying I don't know if I'll be able to make travel arrangements on such short notice," Jill hedged, not wanting to start an argument.
"Well, if you ARE able to make it, call me and let me know your flight information. You can always stay here at the house," Cathy snapped in a voice that dripped ice water.
Jill slowly hung up the phone after Cathy broke the connection. She turned the stove back on and continued cooking dinner, emotions in a jumble. Under ordinary circumstances she knew she should be sad, but she and her father had hardly had a normal father/daughter relationship. She hadn't even seen him since that day shortly before she'd married Mike when he'd unexpectedly shown up at her mother's house. She looked at the clock on the back of the stove. Mike would be home any minute. Maybe he could help her make sense of things.
She had just finished setting the table about an hour later when she heard Mike's key in the front door. She forced a smile when he walked into the apartment.
"Hi, babe," he greeted, walking over and kissing her.
"Hi. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes," she said in a monotone, going into the kitchen.
"What's wrong?" Mike asked, picking up on Jill's somber mood. When she wouldn't answer him, he followed her into the kitchen and turned her around to face him. "Jill? Babe, talk to me. What's wrong?"
"My stepmother called a little while ago," Jill began in a voice so low Mike had to strain to hear her. "She told me that my father passed away last night."
"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" He asked, pulling Jill close to him.
"I'm an awful person," Jill murmured against Mike's shoulder.
"What are you talking about?" Mike asked, pulling her away so that she was facing him.
"I don't feel anything, Mike. I don't feel sad, I don't feel relief, I don't feel anything," Jill concluded in a slightly quivering voice. "I'm just numb."
"Well, considering your relationship with him, I guess what you're feeling isn't so hard to understand," Mike ventured thoughtfully. "What are you going to do?"
"About the funeral?"
Mike nodded.
"I don't know. I haven't had time to give it a lot of thought." She shook her head, unable to deal with the subject just yet. "Anyway, you must be hungry. There'll be plenty of time to discuss what I'm going to do after dinner "
By the time they'd gone to bed that night nothing had been resolved. Jill still wasn't sure she wanted to attend the funeral. She lay awake long after Mike had gone to sleep, trying to think. The thought of flying to Atlanta terrified her, but the thought of having to fly there alone frightened her even more. She didn't expect Mike to go with her. She knew he would if she asked him, but she also knew that this was something she needed to do alone, if she went at all. She curled up closer to Mike and finally drifted off to sleep.
Mike woke up shortly before the alarm went off the next morning. He reached over for Jill to pull her closer to him but all he felt was an empty space. He got out of bed and pulled his robe on before walking into the other room. Jill was sitting on a bar stool at the counter, absently stirring a cup of coffee. She smiled when Mike walked up behind her and lightly kissed her on the neck.
"How long have you been up?" He asked sleepily, walking into the kitchen and pouring himself a cup of coffee.
"About an hour, I guess," she answered quietly as Mike took a seat on the bar stool beside her. "I called the airlines just to check on flights. I mean, I'm still not sure what I want to do," she continued quickly as Mike nodded.
"Can I say something before you make a final decision?"
She nodded.
"I know how awful things were for you as a child, but the fact still remains that he WAS your father, and I think if you don't go and pay some kind of final respect to him, you're never going to get any closure. And the guilt will eat you alive," Mike explained, taking Jill's hand and squeezing it gently.
"I've been thinking about that, but I'm a different person back home than I am here," Jill reminded him, taking a sip of her coffee.
"What do you mean?" Mike asked, confused.
"Well, here, I'm your wife and a respected nurse and I have a lot of friends," she explained quietly, unable to look him in the eye. "When I'm back home, I'm just Jill. The confused kid who ran off when she was 14 years old and got in trouble all the time. I don't like that Jill much. I don't even like remembering her very much."
"Well, I think if you try real hard, you can leave that Jill back home once and for all. I can help you do that," he promised, gently kissing her.
"No, Mike. If I go, I have to go alone. As much as I'd love to have you with me, I'll need you even more when I come back home," Jill told him in a voice that Mike knew wasn't going to brook an argument.
"Babe, why won't you let you me go with you? I mean, I've heard the stories you've told me about your stepmother. I don't want you to have to face her alone," he admitted, covering her hand with his. "You've already made up your mind about this, haven't you?"
"That's why I called the airlines," she stated, taking her coffee cup into the kitchen.
PART TWO: Flying to Atlanta
Terry and Willie were almost finished dressing when Mike walked into the locker room the next morning.
"Hey, you're running late this morning," Terry observed.
"Yeah, I was helping Jill out. She's flying to Atlanta tomorrow morning," Mike commented shortly, opening his locker and pulling his uniform out.
"What's in Atlanta?" Willie asked curiously.
"Her father passed away night before last," Mike answered shortly as he started changing into his blues. "The funeral's day after tomorrow. I offered to go with her, but she insisted that this is something she needs to do alone."
"I'm sorry to hear about her father. Is there anything we can do?" Terry asked sympathetically.
"No, but thanks for asking. I'm a little worried about her," Mike confessed as he finished getting dressed. He shoved his street clothes in his locker and slammed it shut with a little more force than necessary.
"Then go with her," Terry stressed.
"Like I said, I offered to go with her, but you know how she gets when she makes her mind up about something," Mike reminded him.
"Yeah, we know," Willie agreed.
Jill was packing that afternoon when the doorbell rang. She sighed as she walked to the door and opened it. She was surprised to see Willie and Terry standing there.
"Hi," Terry greeted cheerfully as he and Willie walked into the apartment.
"Mike isn't home yet, but I'm guessing that you two already know that," Jill concluded, closing the door behind the two men.
"He's in Central Booking," Willie affirmed, nodding.
"I'm a little busy right now. I don't know if Mike told you, but I'm going out of town in the morning," Jill said, walking past them and toward the bedroom.
"We wanted a chance to talk to you before Mike gets here, so we don't have a lot of time. We're sorry to hear about your father. I wish that there was something we could do to help," Terry stated in a sympathetic voice.
"Thanks, but I've got it under control," Jill lied, walking back toward the bedroom.
"Jill, you really shouldn't go alone," Willie ventured cautiously.
"Oh, now I get it! You're here to try to convince me to let Mike go with me," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "Look, Mike and I talked about it this morning. I need to do this alone," Jill explained firmly as she resumed her packing.
"You're sure this is what you want to do?" Terry asked hesitantly.
"No, Terry. This is what I HAVE to do. There's a big difference," Jill corrected,shutting the lid on her suitcase.
Mike and Jill went to bed early that night. She had to be at the airport early in the morning to catch her flight to Atlanta. She'd called her stepmother and gave her the flight information but declined the invitation to stay with her. Instead she'd decided to check into a hotel. That way she could come and go as she pleased without her every move being scrutinized.
Mike woke up about an hour after they'd gone to bed and noticed that Jill's side of the bed was empty. He sighed as he got out of bed and walked into the living room. He found Jill curled up on the end of the sofa. He sat down beside her and drew her close to him. "You need to get some sleep," he whispered into her hair.
"I know. I just wish I could feel something," Jill confessed quietly, melting into Mike's chest.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up because you're not falling on the floor crying your eyes out. Frankly, considering the relationship you had with your father, I'd be more worried about you if you were doing that instead of the way you're reacting right now," he admitted, holding her tighter. "Can I ask you something? This has been bugging me since yesterday. If your stepmother feels the way you think she does about you, then why is she so insistent on you staying in her home?"
"It's more for appearances than anything else. She has to make her friends think that we're all one big happy family. She can't stand the fact that I'm not falling for her little game. I won't let her call the shots," she explained wearily, trailing her fingers down Mike's chest.
"You've never let anybody call the shots. That's one of the things that I love about you, but also one of the things that drives me crazy, too," he admitted, kissing her on top of her head.
Jill smiled as she felt Mike's arms tighten around her. "I love you, Mike."
"I love you, too. Now, let's go back to bed and get a few hours of sleep," he suggested, taking her hand and helping her to her feet.
The next morning Mike and Jill were nervously waiting at the departure gate for Jill's flight number to be called. They both stood up as they announced the boarding call.
"Call the precinct when you get to your hotel," Mike suggested, taking both of her hands in his. "If I'm not there, they'll give me the message. I'll call you tonight when I get home."
"I don't know what time I'll be back at the hotel. Cathy said they've got the viewing tonight. Why don't I call you when I get back from that?" Jill said.
"Okay. Be careful and I guess I'll see you in a few days. Are you sure you don't want me to ..." Mike began.
"Mike, don't," she begged, putting her finger on his lips. "We've already been through this. I'll see you in three days. I love you."
"You'd better go before they close the doors," he informed her after giving her a passionate kiss.
She clung to him tightly. "I love you, Mike."
"I love you, too."
Jill hurried down the boarding ramp, glancing over her shoulder back at him as long as she was able to keep sight of him before boarding the plane. She took her seat and drew a deep breath to try to keep from running off of the plane and back into the safety of his arms.
Mike stood at the window until the plane took off, before leaving the airport and driving back to the precinct. He walked into muster ten minutes late.
"Glad you could join us, Danko," Ryker announced irritatedly, glaring at him from the podium.
"Sorry, sir," Mike said quietly, taking his seat across from Terry and Willie.
"Did you see Jill off okay?" Willie whispered to Mike.
"Yeah. She has a layover in Houston before she arrives in Atlanta later this morning," Mike whispered back.
Later that morning the desk sergeant called out to Mike as he was entering the precinct after morning patrol.
"Your wife called while you were out and left a message for you," the sergeant informed him, handing Mike the piece of paper.
"Thanks," Mike replied, accepting the paper and reading the message.
"Danko, is something going on that I should know about?" Ryker asked, walking up to him.
"No, sir. Why do you ask?" Mike asked.
"Well, number one: you show up for Roll Call late without an explanation and number two: your wife is calling leaving messages for you, which is very unlike her. Is something wrong?" Ryker asked with fatherly concern.
"Jill had to fly to Atlanta this morning," Mike explained reluctantly, slipping the piece of paper into his pocket. "Her father suddenly passed away a couple of days ago and she went there for the funeral. She left me a message letting me know that she arrived safely."
"Danko, why are you still here if your wife is in Atlanta?" Ryker demanded in disbelief.
"She didn't want me to go with her," Mike began hesitantly.
"Your butt should be in Atlanta with her, not here talking to me! I want you to go home, call the airlines and get on the next flight there!" Ryker shouted at him.
"But, sir...." Mike interjected as Ryker waved him silent.
"No `buts,' Danko! Now go home!" Ryker snapped, stalking furiously toward his office as Mike shook his head in bewilderment.
When Mike got home, he did as Ryker requested and called the airline, only to be told that the earliest flight he could get on wouldn't leave until early the next morning. Mike booked that flight and contemplated letting Jill know he was coming, but decided against it.
PART THREE: The Present Meets Face-to-Face With The Past
After leaving a message for Mike, Jill called her stepmother to let her know she'd arrived in town and to find out what time the family was receiving visitors at the funeral home. The phone rang shortly after Jill had finished speaking to Cathy. Jill quickly answered it, expecting it to be Mike. Instead it was her sister, Amanda.
"Jill, Cathy just told me you'd called. Do you need a ride to the funeral home? Paul and I'll be more than happy to pick you up," Amanda offered.
"No, thanks," Jill declined quietly. "I rented a car. I should be up there around five."
"Why don't you consider either staying here at Cathy's or at Mother's? Patty and all of us are staying there. You know that there's plenty of room," Amanda begged.
"I can't stay in that house, Amanda. You know better than even asking me. I'll see you at five," Jill informed her in a slightly high-pitched voice, hanging up the phone.
When Jill arrived at the funeral home shortly after five, the parking lot was already full of cars, some of them with Alabama and Florida plates. Jill figured at least one of the cars with Florida plates had to be Trap's father, who'd been one of her father's closest friends and business partners. Jill quietly walked into the funeral home and asked the funeral director where the Kingston family was. He directed her to one of the chapel rooms. Jill took a deep breath as she pulled open one of the double doors. The room was full of people, most of whom Jill hadn't seen in years. She could see the casket at the front of the room but she didn't have the courage to go up there yet. She took a seat in one of the back pews and tried to make herself invisible.
Trap Applegate had been at the front of the chapel when he'd heard the doors open. He'd turned around just in time to see Jill come in alone and sit down in the back pew.
Jill was deep in thought when a voice broke through her reverie.
"Jill?"
She turned and gasped when she saw Trap standing there. "Trap, hi," she greeted, standing up and hugging him. "I knew your father would probably be here, but I didn't think you would. I wasn't sure the lieutenant would give you the time off."
"I just told him that a friend of my father's had passed away and he needed me here. He was pretty nice about it. Amanda said you'd be here. Where's Mike?" Trap asked curiously, looking around.
"I asked him not to come," Jill informed him.
"Asked him not to?! Why not?" Trap exclaimed in surprise. The two of them sat back down.
"Because this was something I needed to do alone."
"Look, Amanda said you're staying at a hotel. That's silly. Dad and I are staying with my aunt. Why don't you check out of the hotel and come stay with us? Tillie won't mind. You know how old Southern women are. They love having people around to fuss over. And I know she'd love seeing you again," Trap rattled on as Jill started shaking her head.
"Why don't any of you people understand that I don't want to stay with anybody? Not with my mother, certainly not with my stepmother and not with your Aunt Tillie! I want to be by myself!" Jill hissed at him in a furious voice.
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry. If you won't take me up on my offer to stay with us, will you at least have dinner with us after we leave here?" Trap asked, not wanting to create a scene in the funeral home.
"I'll go have dinner with you if you promise to drop this conversation," Jill agreed.
"Okay, I'll keep my mouth shut. But I can't make any promises where my father's concerned," Trap stated as he got up to join the others at the front.
"Trap, is Poppy going to be here?" Jill suddenly asked in a nervous voice.
"I'm not sure. Dad talked to your Aunt Darlene last night. You know that his health hasn't been the greatest lately," he answered, watching her reaction.
"Yeah, I know," Jill said in a quiet voice, staring at the floor.
"Darlene isn't sure he'll feel up to making the trip for the funeral. If they come, they'll be here sometime in the morning. Anyway, I'd better get back up there. Are you going to come see your father?" Trap asked.
"I'm not sure. Will you go up there with me?" Jill asked in a frightened voice, grabbing his hand. She hadn't thought of the prospect of going up to the casket.
"Sure, I'll go up there with you. Come on," he offered.
Jill got to her feet and gripped his hand tightly, then took a deep breath to calm her nerves as they slowly approached the casket. As she stood there, she kept half-expecting him to sit up and start taunting her as he'd done that day at her mother's. She was standing there when she heard a man's voice speaking her name.
"Jill? Excuse me, but you are Jill, aren't you?"
Jill spun around at the sound of her name. The voice brought back nightmares that Jill would just assume would stay buried. Nightmares from five years before coupled with nightmares from just a few months ago. Trap inwardly cringed as Jill faced Cleve Andrews' father.
"I haven't seen you since you were a little girl but I'd recognize you, anywhere. I'm so sorry to hear about your daddy. He was a good man and a good friend. I'm Hoyt Andrews, Cleve's daddy. Cleve died a few months ago, but he always remembered you fondly. He talked about you all the time," he rattled on as Jill desperately wanted to run away.
"Hoyt, surely you're not telling Jill all the details about how that poor boy died, are you? It was so tragic, but this is hardly the time or the place. Jill, how are you?" Her stepmother Cathy interrupted in a voice that dripped with sugary sweetness.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Jill said, woodenly hugging the woman standing before her, a woman who's clothing and hairstyle hadn't changed in at least ten years. Didn't the woman bother to keep up with current fashion?
"I'm glad you could make it. It would've meant a lot to him," she indicated the casket. "Amanda said you were married. Where's your husband?" She asked, looking around curiously.
"He couldn't make it. He sent his regards, though," Jill quickly added.
Jill spoke briefly to her sisters and their husbands before leaving behind Trap and his father, Ted. She followed them to a nearby restaurant where they had dinner. Traps' father was as nice as she'd always remembered, but he was pained over her refusal to stay with them at his sister's house.
"Daddy? Please give it a rest. Jill needs time to be alone. We should respect that," Trap said, smiling weakly at Jill. .
"Well, it's almost indecent for a single woman to be staying alone in one of those hotels," his father argued as Jill hid a smile.
"Dad, Jill isn't single. Her husband just didn't make the trip with her," Trap said. "Jill, I don't know if you heard about what happened to Cleve..."
"Trap, I was there when it happened," Jill explained quietly as Trap and his father looked at her in shock. "I guess I just wasn't thinking his father would be there. It kind of threw me. Look, if you don't mind, I'm really tired and I'd like to go back to the hotel and get some rest. I promise I'll lock all the doors, Mr. Applegate."
She left the restaurant and went to her hotel room, making sure to lock the door behind her. She collapsed on the bed and lay there for a few seconds, wishing everything would just be over. She wearily reached for the telephone, pulling it to her side and began dialing. She needed to hear a friendly voice right now.
"Hello," Mike's voice answered before the phone finished the first ring.
"Hi," she greeted, faint smile on her face, already feeling better.
"Babe?" Where have you been?!" Mike demanded anxiously. "I was beginning to get worried about you."
"I'm sorry. I ran into Trap and he wanted me to have dinner with him and his father. This whole situation is so surreal, Mike. I feel like I'm in the middle of a bad dream," she affirmed in a shaky voice. "A bad dream that got worse when I came face to face with Cleve's father."
"Are you okay? Did he say anything?" Mike demanded.
"No, I don't think he knows I was there. He kept going on about how `fondly' Cleve talked of me in the months before his death."
"It's going to be okay. It'll be over after tomorrow, then you can come back home where you belong," he assured her.
"I love you and I miss you...a lot," she said in a shaky voice, trying not to break down in tears.
"I love you and I miss you, too. Try to get some sleep and I'll talk to you tomorrow. It's going to be okay, Jill. You're going to get through this," he stated with certainty as they said their goodnights and hung up the phone.
PART FOUR: The Funeral And Mike's Surprise Appearance
Mike had written down the information Jill had left regarding the funeral and the times. He knew if his flight was on time, he could get a taxi and probably just be able to catch her before they left for the burial at a nearby cemetery. Timing was going to be everything.
The funeral was well under way when the taxi dropped Mike off at the funeral home. He paid the driver and got his small bag out of the trunk. One of the funeral home employees directed him where to go.
Trap was sitting with his father and several other people when he saw a band of light come through the door. He turned and sighed with relief when he saw Mike walk in.
Mike put a finger to his lips and mouthed `Where's Jill?'
Trap pointed to one of the back pews.
Mike nodded and made his way over to her direction.
"Teddy, what's going on?" Trap's father asked him sharply.
"Nothing. Jill's husband just walked in. I knew he would," Trap whispered as several people glared at him.
Jill was sitting on the edge of the pew with her hands clenched tightly in front of her when she felt somebody touch her on the shoulder. She turned and gasped with surprise when she saw Mike standing there. He sat down beside her as she wrapped both arms around his neck and hugged him as tightly as she could.
"Hi, baby," he whispered.
"Mike! Oh, I'm so glad you're here!" She exclaimed softly as she continued hugging him.
After the service Jill introduced Mike to her stepmother and he became reacquainted with Jill's sisters, their families and Trap.
"I knew you'd be here," Trap grinned, shaking Mike's hand.
"How? I didn't even know until yesterday," Mike asked curiously.
"Let's just say I know you well enough to know you'd get here, come Hell or high water. By the way, Mike, this is my father, Ted. Ted, this is Mike Danko," Trap introduced the two men.
"It's nice to meet you, Mike. Teddy's told me a lot about you," Ted admitted, shaking Mike's hand.
"Teddy?" Mike looked at Jill curiously.
"I'm the only one who calls him `Trap,'" Jill explained as Mike nodded.
"Well, we'd better go. The funeral procession's going to be long enough without us getting caught at the end of it," Trap suggested as they walked out of the funeral home.
Jill handed Mike the keys to the rental car as they walked toward it. "Are you going to be flying back with me tomorrow?" She asked as he unlocked her door and helped her in.
"Same time, same flight, everything," Mike admitted, getting behind the wheel and starting up the car. "I was very persuasive."
"Well, of all the times you've never listened to me, I think this time has made me the happiest," she said, grinning at him. "I mean, despite the circumstances."
"Well, if Ryker hadn't found out you were here, I might've listened to you and still been in L.A. He practically threw me out of the precinct yesterday," Mike admitted, pulling into traffic behind the other cars.
Jill stopped him when they got to the cemetery. He looked at her, puzzled, until she reached up and straightened his tie.
"Oh. I was in a hurry," he explained sheepishly.
"So I noticed," she smiled, kissing him.
The only emotion Jill showed at the burial was occasionally tightening her grip on Mike's hand. After the burial they went to Jill's stepmother's home. They didn't stay long. Mike could tell by watching her that Jill wasn't comfortable being in the house. She was in the restroom when Cathy approached Mike.
"I wasn't sure Jill was going to come here. She wasn't particularly close to her father," Cathy commented.
"Yeah, I know. She told me," Mike replied in a non-committed voice.
"Oh, don't tell me that she told you that awful story that she told everybody else," Cathy demanded petulantly. "I can assure you that nothing ever happened between Jill and her father."
"You know, I'm a police officer and I've learned that children who tell those kind of `stories' as you put it, never lie. But I don't want to talk about that now. Now's the time when we should be thinking of Jill's father, not about what he might or might not have done in the past," Mike stated firmly, not believing the audacity of the woman. He finally spied Jill coming down the stairs. "Excuse me." He left Cathy and rapidly went to Jill's side, taking her hand. "Let's get out of here."
"Where do you want to go?" She asked in surprise.
"How about that park we went to that day when we had the run-in with your father?" He suggested.
"Okay, that sounds nice. Let me say good-bye to everybody," she agreed, pulling him along with her.
They walked slowly through the park, watching children playing on the playground equipment. They stopped when they saw some grade school boys playing a game of softball. Mike pulled off his tie and put it in his pocket when they sat down in the bleachers.
"Do you get the feeling that we're slightly overdressed?" Jill asked wearily, leaning against his shoulder.
"A little. Do you want to go back to the hotel? You look like you could use some sleep," he suggested, leaning down and kissing her lightly on the lips.
"We can sit here for a little while. I just can't believe you're really here," she smiled.
"Hey, I knew you needed me," he informed her, standing up and taking her hand. "Come on. Let's go back to the hotel."
When they got to the hotel, they both took showers and changed into more comfortable clothes. Mike was lying on the bed watching TV when Jill came out of the bathroom and stretched out on her side beside him. Mike rolled onto his side and began to gently rub her shoulders and back, willing her to relax. She was incredibly tense.
Jill smiled as Mike brushed her hair off of her shoulders and kissed her on the back of her neck before letting his lips travel lower. She turned over so that she was facing him and pulled him down to kiss her, gently at first, then with more passion. When they finally broke apart, Jill shyly cast her eyes downward.
"Hey, what're you thinking about?" Mike asked her, gently tilting her chin up so that he could look into her eyes.
"If I tell you, you're going to think I'm being silly," she admitted in a voice barely above a whisper.
"Why don't you try me?" He smiled at her.
"I was just thinking about how scared I was to come here by myself. I'm so glad you showed up this morning. I love you," she said, her voice full of tears as Mike pulled her closer.
"I love you, too," he murmured, gently kissing her.
"Remember when you told me that maybe I could leave the old Jill here at home once and for all? I think maybe I can finally do that," she concluded as Mike smiled down at here and gathered her into his arms once more.
"You know, if this were a movie, I think this would probably be the part where you'd send the kids to their rooms or something," he stated.
"What're you talking about?" Then she began to blush furiously as she caught Mike's meaning. "Is this the part where you sweep the beautiful, dark-haired heroine off of her feet?"
"Well, if memory serves me correctly, I already did that, so I'll have to see what I can do to improve on the scenario," he confessed, slowly covering her body with his own.
Jill awoke with a start a few hours later, unsure of what had interrupted her sleep. She pulled the covers tighter around her and smiled at the feeling of Mike's leg draped over hers. She turned over to face him, trying to be quiet not to awaken him. But, sensing her wakefulness, he slowly opened his eyes and smiled at her.
"Hey, you're up early. What time is it?" He asked, reaching over and pulling her closer to him.
"I don't know. I was cold. I guess that's what made me wake up," Jill confessed.
"You were cold, huh? I'll have to see what I can do to warm you up," he smiled, running his hand down her side.
"I think you did that very well last night," she smiled back at him as he gently kissed her.
"Seriously though. Something must've woke you up besides the cold," he said, his voice edged with concern.
"I just want to go back home, where everything isn't quite so strange. Mike, tell me that you love me," she said in a whisper.
"Baby, what's wrong?" Mike asked, holding her tighter.
"I don't know. I know you tell me all the time, but I really need to hear it right now," she said, looking into his eyes.
"I love you, Jill. More than I think you'll ever know. You know, even though you didn't have a great relationship with your father, it's okay to cry," he told her, watching her face carefully.
That was all it took for the dam to break. Mike held her to him as she cried. He'd thought it would've taken longer for it to hit, but he knew it would and he was glad he was there for her when it did. After several minutes, she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes on the sheet.
"Well, there's one good thing about this crying attack," she said, as Mike handed her some tissues.
"What's that?" Mike asked.
"You don't have to take a shower now."
They both laughed as Mike pulled her back into his arms. "So, are you okay now?"
"I'm still not great, but I will be. I just want to go home," she reiterated as Mike nodded.
"Well, let's get packed and go have breakfast, then we can go to the airport," Mike said throwing the covers back and walking over to his small suitcase.
Terry and Willie were lying by the pool when Mike and Jill arrived home. They walked over when they spotted them.
"Are you okay?" Terry tentatively asked.
"It'll take some time, but I'll be my old self in no time," Jill smiled, hugging them both.
"Hey, we were thinking about getting some stuff to barbecue. We didn't know if you guys would be hungry or not," Terry suggested.
"Yeah, we're hungry, but how about if we go out and get pizza," Mike offered.
"Pizza's good," Willie readily agreed.
"Okay. Give us time to change clothes. How about half an hour?" Mike asked.
"Sounds great," Terry said.
Jill pulled Mike close to her when he closed and locked the door. "Half an hour, huh? Why couldn't you have told them an hour?"
"I could call and tell them the zipper got stuck on my suitcase," Mike said, kissing the tip of her nose.
"Don't take too long, Danko. The clock's ticking," she smiled wickedly as she walked toward their bedroom.
The guys had just walked into their apartment when Mike called and gave them the `zipper getting stuck' story, which Terry listened to in disbelief. He hung up and told Willie what Mike had just told him.
"Yeah, I bet he's got a stuck zipper, but it ain't on any suitcase. Some things never change," Terry said.
"I take it we're going back to the pool," Willie said.
"Yeah, let's go," Terry said as the two men left the apartment.
THE END
TITLE: Putting The Past To Rest
RATING: PG-13
SETTING: Between the second and third seasons, shortly before Willie left.
SUMMARY: Jill gets a phone call that forces her to deal with some of her childhood demons once and for all.
Author's Note: I want to thank Bridget for beta reading this for me, as usual. I also want to especially thank Chuck for giving me the incentive to put my grieving into perspective.
PART ONE: The phone call
It was a warm June afternoon. Jill was cooking dinner when the phone rang. She hurriedly turned off the stove before picking up the receiver. "Hello?" Jill answered the phone in a breathless voice.
"Jill, this is Cathy," a vaguely familiar voice stated on the other end.
"Cathy?" Jill replied, puzzled. She couldn't quite put her finger on where she knew the voice.
"Cathy Kingston," the woman on the other end of the phone said in a stressed voice.
Suddenly Jill felt herself break out in a cold sweat and she mentally flashed back to being 10 years old again. She remembered this woman calling her all kinds of names after Jill had told her what her husband, Jill's father, had tried to do to her. She then remembered being sent home and being called most of the same names by her grandfather, followed by a trip to the proverbial woodshed when they'd arrived home. Why was this woman calling her after all these years?
"Is there something you wanted?" Jill asked in a slightly shaky voice.
"Amanda gave me your phone number. I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your father passed away last night. It was all rather sudden. He was at work and he had a massive heart attack. If you have a pen and paper handy, I'll give you the funeral information," Cathy continued in a singsong voice, sounding as if she were discussing the weather.
Jill took down the information Cathy gave her in a daze. She had absolutely no intention of flying to Atlanta for the funeral. "Thank you," Jill murmured after Cathy was done. "I don't know if I'll be able to attend the funeral."
"What do you mean, you don't know if you'll be able to attend the funeral?!" Cathy demanded furiously. "Jill, this was your father!"
"I'm just saying I don't know if I'll be able to make travel arrangements on such short notice," Jill hedged, not wanting to start an argument.
"Well, if you ARE able to make it, call me and let me know your flight information. You can always stay here at the house," Cathy snapped in a voice that dripped ice water.
Jill slowly hung up the phone after Cathy broke the connection. She turned the stove back on and continued cooking dinner, emotions in a jumble. Under ordinary circumstances she knew she should be sad, but she and her father had hardly had a normal father/daughter relationship. She hadn't even seen him since that day shortly before she'd married Mike when he'd unexpectedly shown up at her mother's house. She looked at the clock on the back of the stove. Mike would be home any minute. Maybe he could help her make sense of things.
She had just finished setting the table about an hour later when she heard Mike's key in the front door. She forced a smile when he walked into the apartment.
"Hi, babe," he greeted, walking over and kissing her.
"Hi. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes," she said in a monotone, going into the kitchen.
"What's wrong?" Mike asked, picking up on Jill's somber mood. When she wouldn't answer him, he followed her into the kitchen and turned her around to face him. "Jill? Babe, talk to me. What's wrong?"
"My stepmother called a little while ago," Jill began in a voice so low Mike had to strain to hear her. "She told me that my father passed away last night."
"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" He asked, pulling Jill close to him.
"I'm an awful person," Jill murmured against Mike's shoulder.
"What are you talking about?" Mike asked, pulling her away so that she was facing him.
"I don't feel anything, Mike. I don't feel sad, I don't feel relief, I don't feel anything," Jill concluded in a slightly quivering voice. "I'm just numb."
"Well, considering your relationship with him, I guess what you're feeling isn't so hard to understand," Mike ventured thoughtfully. "What are you going to do?"
"About the funeral?"
Mike nodded.
"I don't know. I haven't had time to give it a lot of thought." She shook her head, unable to deal with the subject just yet. "Anyway, you must be hungry. There'll be plenty of time to discuss what I'm going to do after dinner "
By the time they'd gone to bed that night nothing had been resolved. Jill still wasn't sure she wanted to attend the funeral. She lay awake long after Mike had gone to sleep, trying to think. The thought of flying to Atlanta terrified her, but the thought of having to fly there alone frightened her even more. She didn't expect Mike to go with her. She knew he would if she asked him, but she also knew that this was something she needed to do alone, if she went at all. She curled up closer to Mike and finally drifted off to sleep.
Mike woke up shortly before the alarm went off the next morning. He reached over for Jill to pull her closer to him but all he felt was an empty space. He got out of bed and pulled his robe on before walking into the other room. Jill was sitting on a bar stool at the counter, absently stirring a cup of coffee. She smiled when Mike walked up behind her and lightly kissed her on the neck.
"How long have you been up?" He asked sleepily, walking into the kitchen and pouring himself a cup of coffee.
"About an hour, I guess," she answered quietly as Mike took a seat on the bar stool beside her. "I called the airlines just to check on flights. I mean, I'm still not sure what I want to do," she continued quickly as Mike nodded.
"Can I say something before you make a final decision?"
She nodded.
"I know how awful things were for you as a child, but the fact still remains that he WAS your father, and I think if you don't go and pay some kind of final respect to him, you're never going to get any closure. And the guilt will eat you alive," Mike explained, taking Jill's hand and squeezing it gently.
"I've been thinking about that, but I'm a different person back home than I am here," Jill reminded him, taking a sip of her coffee.
"What do you mean?" Mike asked, confused.
"Well, here, I'm your wife and a respected nurse and I have a lot of friends," she explained quietly, unable to look him in the eye. "When I'm back home, I'm just Jill. The confused kid who ran off when she was 14 years old and got in trouble all the time. I don't like that Jill much. I don't even like remembering her very much."
"Well, I think if you try real hard, you can leave that Jill back home once and for all. I can help you do that," he promised, gently kissing her.
"No, Mike. If I go, I have to go alone. As much as I'd love to have you with me, I'll need you even more when I come back home," Jill told him in a voice that Mike knew wasn't going to brook an argument.
"Babe, why won't you let you me go with you? I mean, I've heard the stories you've told me about your stepmother. I don't want you to have to face her alone," he admitted, covering her hand with his. "You've already made up your mind about this, haven't you?"
"That's why I called the airlines," she stated, taking her coffee cup into the kitchen.
PART TWO: Flying to Atlanta
Terry and Willie were almost finished dressing when Mike walked into the locker room the next morning.
"Hey, you're running late this morning," Terry observed.
"Yeah, I was helping Jill out. She's flying to Atlanta tomorrow morning," Mike commented shortly, opening his locker and pulling his uniform out.
"What's in Atlanta?" Willie asked curiously.
"Her father passed away night before last," Mike answered shortly as he started changing into his blues. "The funeral's day after tomorrow. I offered to go with her, but she insisted that this is something she needs to do alone."
"I'm sorry to hear about her father. Is there anything we can do?" Terry asked sympathetically.
"No, but thanks for asking. I'm a little worried about her," Mike confessed as he finished getting dressed. He shoved his street clothes in his locker and slammed it shut with a little more force than necessary.
"Then go with her," Terry stressed.
"Like I said, I offered to go with her, but you know how she gets when she makes her mind up about something," Mike reminded him.
"Yeah, we know," Willie agreed.
Jill was packing that afternoon when the doorbell rang. She sighed as she walked to the door and opened it. She was surprised to see Willie and Terry standing there.
"Hi," Terry greeted cheerfully as he and Willie walked into the apartment.
"Mike isn't home yet, but I'm guessing that you two already know that," Jill concluded, closing the door behind the two men.
"He's in Central Booking," Willie affirmed, nodding.
"I'm a little busy right now. I don't know if Mike told you, but I'm going out of town in the morning," Jill said, walking past them and toward the bedroom.
"We wanted a chance to talk to you before Mike gets here, so we don't have a lot of time. We're sorry to hear about your father. I wish that there was something we could do to help," Terry stated in a sympathetic voice.
"Thanks, but I've got it under control," Jill lied, walking back toward the bedroom.
"Jill, you really shouldn't go alone," Willie ventured cautiously.
"Oh, now I get it! You're here to try to convince me to let Mike go with me," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "Look, Mike and I talked about it this morning. I need to do this alone," Jill explained firmly as she resumed her packing.
"You're sure this is what you want to do?" Terry asked hesitantly.
"No, Terry. This is what I HAVE to do. There's a big difference," Jill corrected,shutting the lid on her suitcase.
Mike and Jill went to bed early that night. She had to be at the airport early in the morning to catch her flight to Atlanta. She'd called her stepmother and gave her the flight information but declined the invitation to stay with her. Instead she'd decided to check into a hotel. That way she could come and go as she pleased without her every move being scrutinized.
Mike woke up about an hour after they'd gone to bed and noticed that Jill's side of the bed was empty. He sighed as he got out of bed and walked into the living room. He found Jill curled up on the end of the sofa. He sat down beside her and drew her close to him. "You need to get some sleep," he whispered into her hair.
"I know. I just wish I could feel something," Jill confessed quietly, melting into Mike's chest.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up because you're not falling on the floor crying your eyes out. Frankly, considering the relationship you had with your father, I'd be more worried about you if you were doing that instead of the way you're reacting right now," he admitted, holding her tighter. "Can I ask you something? This has been bugging me since yesterday. If your stepmother feels the way you think she does about you, then why is she so insistent on you staying in her home?"
"It's more for appearances than anything else. She has to make her friends think that we're all one big happy family. She can't stand the fact that I'm not falling for her little game. I won't let her call the shots," she explained wearily, trailing her fingers down Mike's chest.
"You've never let anybody call the shots. That's one of the things that I love about you, but also one of the things that drives me crazy, too," he admitted, kissing her on top of her head.
Jill smiled as she felt Mike's arms tighten around her. "I love you, Mike."
"I love you, too. Now, let's go back to bed and get a few hours of sleep," he suggested, taking her hand and helping her to her feet.
The next morning Mike and Jill were nervously waiting at the departure gate for Jill's flight number to be called. They both stood up as they announced the boarding call.
"Call the precinct when you get to your hotel," Mike suggested, taking both of her hands in his. "If I'm not there, they'll give me the message. I'll call you tonight when I get home."
"I don't know what time I'll be back at the hotel. Cathy said they've got the viewing tonight. Why don't I call you when I get back from that?" Jill said.
"Okay. Be careful and I guess I'll see you in a few days. Are you sure you don't want me to ..." Mike began.
"Mike, don't," she begged, putting her finger on his lips. "We've already been through this. I'll see you in three days. I love you."
"You'd better go before they close the doors," he informed her after giving her a passionate kiss.
She clung to him tightly. "I love you, Mike."
"I love you, too."
Jill hurried down the boarding ramp, glancing over her shoulder back at him as long as she was able to keep sight of him before boarding the plane. She took her seat and drew a deep breath to try to keep from running off of the plane and back into the safety of his arms.
Mike stood at the window until the plane took off, before leaving the airport and driving back to the precinct. He walked into muster ten minutes late.
"Glad you could join us, Danko," Ryker announced irritatedly, glaring at him from the podium.
"Sorry, sir," Mike said quietly, taking his seat across from Terry and Willie.
"Did you see Jill off okay?" Willie whispered to Mike.
"Yeah. She has a layover in Houston before she arrives in Atlanta later this morning," Mike whispered back.
Later that morning the desk sergeant called out to Mike as he was entering the precinct after morning patrol.
"Your wife called while you were out and left a message for you," the sergeant informed him, handing Mike the piece of paper.
"Thanks," Mike replied, accepting the paper and reading the message.
"Danko, is something going on that I should know about?" Ryker asked, walking up to him.
"No, sir. Why do you ask?" Mike asked.
"Well, number one: you show up for Roll Call late without an explanation and number two: your wife is calling leaving messages for you, which is very unlike her. Is something wrong?" Ryker asked with fatherly concern.
"Jill had to fly to Atlanta this morning," Mike explained reluctantly, slipping the piece of paper into his pocket. "Her father suddenly passed away a couple of days ago and she went there for the funeral. She left me a message letting me know that she arrived safely."
"Danko, why are you still here if your wife is in Atlanta?" Ryker demanded in disbelief.
"She didn't want me to go with her," Mike began hesitantly.
"Your butt should be in Atlanta with her, not here talking to me! I want you to go home, call the airlines and get on the next flight there!" Ryker shouted at him.
"But, sir...." Mike interjected as Ryker waved him silent.
"No `buts,' Danko! Now go home!" Ryker snapped, stalking furiously toward his office as Mike shook his head in bewilderment.
When Mike got home, he did as Ryker requested and called the airline, only to be told that the earliest flight he could get on wouldn't leave until early the next morning. Mike booked that flight and contemplated letting Jill know he was coming, but decided against it.
PART THREE: The Present Meets Face-to-Face With The Past
After leaving a message for Mike, Jill called her stepmother to let her know she'd arrived in town and to find out what time the family was receiving visitors at the funeral home. The phone rang shortly after Jill had finished speaking to Cathy. Jill quickly answered it, expecting it to be Mike. Instead it was her sister, Amanda.
"Jill, Cathy just told me you'd called. Do you need a ride to the funeral home? Paul and I'll be more than happy to pick you up," Amanda offered.
"No, thanks," Jill declined quietly. "I rented a car. I should be up there around five."
"Why don't you consider either staying here at Cathy's or at Mother's? Patty and all of us are staying there. You know that there's plenty of room," Amanda begged.
"I can't stay in that house, Amanda. You know better than even asking me. I'll see you at five," Jill informed her in a slightly high-pitched voice, hanging up the phone.
When Jill arrived at the funeral home shortly after five, the parking lot was already full of cars, some of them with Alabama and Florida plates. Jill figured at least one of the cars with Florida plates had to be Trap's father, who'd been one of her father's closest friends and business partners. Jill quietly walked into the funeral home and asked the funeral director where the Kingston family was. He directed her to one of the chapel rooms. Jill took a deep breath as she pulled open one of the double doors. The room was full of people, most of whom Jill hadn't seen in years. She could see the casket at the front of the room but she didn't have the courage to go up there yet. She took a seat in one of the back pews and tried to make herself invisible.
Trap Applegate had been at the front of the chapel when he'd heard the doors open. He'd turned around just in time to see Jill come in alone and sit down in the back pew.
Jill was deep in thought when a voice broke through her reverie.
"Jill?"
She turned and gasped when she saw Trap standing there. "Trap, hi," she greeted, standing up and hugging him. "I knew your father would probably be here, but I didn't think you would. I wasn't sure the lieutenant would give you the time off."
"I just told him that a friend of my father's had passed away and he needed me here. He was pretty nice about it. Amanda said you'd be here. Where's Mike?" Trap asked curiously, looking around.
"I asked him not to come," Jill informed him.
"Asked him not to?! Why not?" Trap exclaimed in surprise. The two of them sat back down.
"Because this was something I needed to do alone."
"Look, Amanda said you're staying at a hotel. That's silly. Dad and I are staying with my aunt. Why don't you check out of the hotel and come stay with us? Tillie won't mind. You know how old Southern women are. They love having people around to fuss over. And I know she'd love seeing you again," Trap rattled on as Jill started shaking her head.
"Why don't any of you people understand that I don't want to stay with anybody? Not with my mother, certainly not with my stepmother and not with your Aunt Tillie! I want to be by myself!" Jill hissed at him in a furious voice.
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry. If you won't take me up on my offer to stay with us, will you at least have dinner with us after we leave here?" Trap asked, not wanting to create a scene in the funeral home.
"I'll go have dinner with you if you promise to drop this conversation," Jill agreed.
"Okay, I'll keep my mouth shut. But I can't make any promises where my father's concerned," Trap stated as he got up to join the others at the front.
"Trap, is Poppy going to be here?" Jill suddenly asked in a nervous voice.
"I'm not sure. Dad talked to your Aunt Darlene last night. You know that his health hasn't been the greatest lately," he answered, watching her reaction.
"Yeah, I know," Jill said in a quiet voice, staring at the floor.
"Darlene isn't sure he'll feel up to making the trip for the funeral. If they come, they'll be here sometime in the morning. Anyway, I'd better get back up there. Are you going to come see your father?" Trap asked.
"I'm not sure. Will you go up there with me?" Jill asked in a frightened voice, grabbing his hand. She hadn't thought of the prospect of going up to the casket.
"Sure, I'll go up there with you. Come on," he offered.
Jill got to her feet and gripped his hand tightly, then took a deep breath to calm her nerves as they slowly approached the casket. As she stood there, she kept half-expecting him to sit up and start taunting her as he'd done that day at her mother's. She was standing there when she heard a man's voice speaking her name.
"Jill? Excuse me, but you are Jill, aren't you?"
Jill spun around at the sound of her name. The voice brought back nightmares that Jill would just assume would stay buried. Nightmares from five years before coupled with nightmares from just a few months ago. Trap inwardly cringed as Jill faced Cleve Andrews' father.
"I haven't seen you since you were a little girl but I'd recognize you, anywhere. I'm so sorry to hear about your daddy. He was a good man and a good friend. I'm Hoyt Andrews, Cleve's daddy. Cleve died a few months ago, but he always remembered you fondly. He talked about you all the time," he rattled on as Jill desperately wanted to run away.
"Hoyt, surely you're not telling Jill all the details about how that poor boy died, are you? It was so tragic, but this is hardly the time or the place. Jill, how are you?" Her stepmother Cathy interrupted in a voice that dripped with sugary sweetness.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Jill said, woodenly hugging the woman standing before her, a woman who's clothing and hairstyle hadn't changed in at least ten years. Didn't the woman bother to keep up with current fashion?
"I'm glad you could make it. It would've meant a lot to him," she indicated the casket. "Amanda said you were married. Where's your husband?" She asked, looking around curiously.
"He couldn't make it. He sent his regards, though," Jill quickly added.
Jill spoke briefly to her sisters and their husbands before leaving behind Trap and his father, Ted. She followed them to a nearby restaurant where they had dinner. Traps' father was as nice as she'd always remembered, but he was pained over her refusal to stay with them at his sister's house.
"Daddy? Please give it a rest. Jill needs time to be alone. We should respect that," Trap said, smiling weakly at Jill. .
"Well, it's almost indecent for a single woman to be staying alone in one of those hotels," his father argued as Jill hid a smile.
"Dad, Jill isn't single. Her husband just didn't make the trip with her," Trap said. "Jill, I don't know if you heard about what happened to Cleve..."
"Trap, I was there when it happened," Jill explained quietly as Trap and his father looked at her in shock. "I guess I just wasn't thinking his father would be there. It kind of threw me. Look, if you don't mind, I'm really tired and I'd like to go back to the hotel and get some rest. I promise I'll lock all the doors, Mr. Applegate."
She left the restaurant and went to her hotel room, making sure to lock the door behind her. She collapsed on the bed and lay there for a few seconds, wishing everything would just be over. She wearily reached for the telephone, pulling it to her side and began dialing. She needed to hear a friendly voice right now.
"Hello," Mike's voice answered before the phone finished the first ring.
"Hi," she greeted, faint smile on her face, already feeling better.
"Babe?" Where have you been?!" Mike demanded anxiously. "I was beginning to get worried about you."
"I'm sorry. I ran into Trap and he wanted me to have dinner with him and his father. This whole situation is so surreal, Mike. I feel like I'm in the middle of a bad dream," she affirmed in a shaky voice. "A bad dream that got worse when I came face to face with Cleve's father."
"Are you okay? Did he say anything?" Mike demanded.
"No, I don't think he knows I was there. He kept going on about how `fondly' Cleve talked of me in the months before his death."
"It's going to be okay. It'll be over after tomorrow, then you can come back home where you belong," he assured her.
"I love you and I miss you...a lot," she said in a shaky voice, trying not to break down in tears.
"I love you and I miss you, too. Try to get some sleep and I'll talk to you tomorrow. It's going to be okay, Jill. You're going to get through this," he stated with certainty as they said their goodnights and hung up the phone.
PART FOUR: The Funeral And Mike's Surprise Appearance
Mike had written down the information Jill had left regarding the funeral and the times. He knew if his flight was on time, he could get a taxi and probably just be able to catch her before they left for the burial at a nearby cemetery. Timing was going to be everything.
The funeral was well under way when the taxi dropped Mike off at the funeral home. He paid the driver and got his small bag out of the trunk. One of the funeral home employees directed him where to go.
Trap was sitting with his father and several other people when he saw a band of light come through the door. He turned and sighed with relief when he saw Mike walk in.
Mike put a finger to his lips and mouthed `Where's Jill?'
Trap pointed to one of the back pews.
Mike nodded and made his way over to her direction.
"Teddy, what's going on?" Trap's father asked him sharply.
"Nothing. Jill's husband just walked in. I knew he would," Trap whispered as several people glared at him.
Jill was sitting on the edge of the pew with her hands clenched tightly in front of her when she felt somebody touch her on the shoulder. She turned and gasped with surprise when she saw Mike standing there. He sat down beside her as she wrapped both arms around his neck and hugged him as tightly as she could.
"Hi, baby," he whispered.
"Mike! Oh, I'm so glad you're here!" She exclaimed softly as she continued hugging him.
After the service Jill introduced Mike to her stepmother and he became reacquainted with Jill's sisters, their families and Trap.
"I knew you'd be here," Trap grinned, shaking Mike's hand.
"How? I didn't even know until yesterday," Mike asked curiously.
"Let's just say I know you well enough to know you'd get here, come Hell or high water. By the way, Mike, this is my father, Ted. Ted, this is Mike Danko," Trap introduced the two men.
"It's nice to meet you, Mike. Teddy's told me a lot about you," Ted admitted, shaking Mike's hand.
"Teddy?" Mike looked at Jill curiously.
"I'm the only one who calls him `Trap,'" Jill explained as Mike nodded.
"Well, we'd better go. The funeral procession's going to be long enough without us getting caught at the end of it," Trap suggested as they walked out of the funeral home.
Jill handed Mike the keys to the rental car as they walked toward it. "Are you going to be flying back with me tomorrow?" She asked as he unlocked her door and helped her in.
"Same time, same flight, everything," Mike admitted, getting behind the wheel and starting up the car. "I was very persuasive."
"Well, of all the times you've never listened to me, I think this time has made me the happiest," she said, grinning at him. "I mean, despite the circumstances."
"Well, if Ryker hadn't found out you were here, I might've listened to you and still been in L.A. He practically threw me out of the precinct yesterday," Mike admitted, pulling into traffic behind the other cars.
Jill stopped him when they got to the cemetery. He looked at her, puzzled, until she reached up and straightened his tie.
"Oh. I was in a hurry," he explained sheepishly.
"So I noticed," she smiled, kissing him.
The only emotion Jill showed at the burial was occasionally tightening her grip on Mike's hand. After the burial they went to Jill's stepmother's home. They didn't stay long. Mike could tell by watching her that Jill wasn't comfortable being in the house. She was in the restroom when Cathy approached Mike.
"I wasn't sure Jill was going to come here. She wasn't particularly close to her father," Cathy commented.
"Yeah, I know. She told me," Mike replied in a non-committed voice.
"Oh, don't tell me that she told you that awful story that she told everybody else," Cathy demanded petulantly. "I can assure you that nothing ever happened between Jill and her father."
"You know, I'm a police officer and I've learned that children who tell those kind of `stories' as you put it, never lie. But I don't want to talk about that now. Now's the time when we should be thinking of Jill's father, not about what he might or might not have done in the past," Mike stated firmly, not believing the audacity of the woman. He finally spied Jill coming down the stairs. "Excuse me." He left Cathy and rapidly went to Jill's side, taking her hand. "Let's get out of here."
"Where do you want to go?" She asked in surprise.
"How about that park we went to that day when we had the run-in with your father?" He suggested.
"Okay, that sounds nice. Let me say good-bye to everybody," she agreed, pulling him along with her.
They walked slowly through the park, watching children playing on the playground equipment. They stopped when they saw some grade school boys playing a game of softball. Mike pulled off his tie and put it in his pocket when they sat down in the bleachers.
"Do you get the feeling that we're slightly overdressed?" Jill asked wearily, leaning against his shoulder.
"A little. Do you want to go back to the hotel? You look like you could use some sleep," he suggested, leaning down and kissing her lightly on the lips.
"We can sit here for a little while. I just can't believe you're really here," she smiled.
"Hey, I knew you needed me," he informed her, standing up and taking her hand. "Come on. Let's go back to the hotel."
When they got to the hotel, they both took showers and changed into more comfortable clothes. Mike was lying on the bed watching TV when Jill came out of the bathroom and stretched out on her side beside him. Mike rolled onto his side and began to gently rub her shoulders and back, willing her to relax. She was incredibly tense.
Jill smiled as Mike brushed her hair off of her shoulders and kissed her on the back of her neck before letting his lips travel lower. She turned over so that she was facing him and pulled him down to kiss her, gently at first, then with more passion. When they finally broke apart, Jill shyly cast her eyes downward.
"Hey, what're you thinking about?" Mike asked her, gently tilting her chin up so that he could look into her eyes.
"If I tell you, you're going to think I'm being silly," she admitted in a voice barely above a whisper.
"Why don't you try me?" He smiled at her.
"I was just thinking about how scared I was to come here by myself. I'm so glad you showed up this morning. I love you," she said, her voice full of tears as Mike pulled her closer.
"I love you, too," he murmured, gently kissing her.
"Remember when you told me that maybe I could leave the old Jill here at home once and for all? I think maybe I can finally do that," she concluded as Mike smiled down at here and gathered her into his arms once more.
"You know, if this were a movie, I think this would probably be the part where you'd send the kids to their rooms or something," he stated.
"What're you talking about?" Then she began to blush furiously as she caught Mike's meaning. "Is this the part where you sweep the beautiful, dark-haired heroine off of her feet?"
"Well, if memory serves me correctly, I already did that, so I'll have to see what I can do to improve on the scenario," he confessed, slowly covering her body with his own.
Jill awoke with a start a few hours later, unsure of what had interrupted her sleep. She pulled the covers tighter around her and smiled at the feeling of Mike's leg draped over hers. She turned over to face him, trying to be quiet not to awaken him. But, sensing her wakefulness, he slowly opened his eyes and smiled at her.
"Hey, you're up early. What time is it?" He asked, reaching over and pulling her closer to him.
"I don't know. I was cold. I guess that's what made me wake up," Jill confessed.
"You were cold, huh? I'll have to see what I can do to warm you up," he smiled, running his hand down her side.
"I think you did that very well last night," she smiled back at him as he gently kissed her.
"Seriously though. Something must've woke you up besides the cold," he said, his voice edged with concern.
"I just want to go back home, where everything isn't quite so strange. Mike, tell me that you love me," she said in a whisper.
"Baby, what's wrong?" Mike asked, holding her tighter.
"I don't know. I know you tell me all the time, but I really need to hear it right now," she said, looking into his eyes.
"I love you, Jill. More than I think you'll ever know. You know, even though you didn't have a great relationship with your father, it's okay to cry," he told her, watching her face carefully.
That was all it took for the dam to break. Mike held her to him as she cried. He'd thought it would've taken longer for it to hit, but he knew it would and he was glad he was there for her when it did. After several minutes, she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes on the sheet.
"Well, there's one good thing about this crying attack," she said, as Mike handed her some tissues.
"What's that?" Mike asked.
"You don't have to take a shower now."
They both laughed as Mike pulled her back into his arms. "So, are you okay now?"
"I'm still not great, but I will be. I just want to go home," she reiterated as Mike nodded.
"Well, let's get packed and go have breakfast, then we can go to the airport," Mike said throwing the covers back and walking over to his small suitcase.
Terry and Willie were lying by the pool when Mike and Jill arrived home. They walked over when they spotted them.
"Are you okay?" Terry tentatively asked.
"It'll take some time, but I'll be my old self in no time," Jill smiled, hugging them both.
"Hey, we were thinking about getting some stuff to barbecue. We didn't know if you guys would be hungry or not," Terry suggested.
"Yeah, we're hungry, but how about if we go out and get pizza," Mike offered.
"Pizza's good," Willie readily agreed.
"Okay. Give us time to change clothes. How about half an hour?" Mike asked.
"Sounds great," Terry said.
Jill pulled Mike close to her when he closed and locked the door. "Half an hour, huh? Why couldn't you have told them an hour?"
"I could call and tell them the zipper got stuck on my suitcase," Mike said, kissing the tip of her nose.
"Don't take too long, Danko. The clock's ticking," she smiled wickedly as she walked toward their bedroom.
The guys had just walked into their apartment when Mike called and gave them the `zipper getting stuck' story, which Terry listened to in disbelief. He hung up and told Willie what Mike had just told him.
"Yeah, I bet he's got a stuck zipper, but it ain't on any suitcase. Some things never change," Terry said.
"I take it we're going back to the pool," Willie said.
"Yeah, let's go," Terry said as the two men left the apartment.
THE END