Summary: When SouthernGirl fires her muse for laziness and not inspiring her Aria is less than happy with things. Unable to find another job in Museland she seeks revenge on SouthernGirl the only way she knows how. Warning: Foul language, innuendo, and anything else that I can think of that makes this a PG-13 borderline R fic.
A/N- Once again the plot bunnies give me an entirely different story line instead of just helping me with the other two fics I've got going. So until I get over the writer's block for those two you'll just have to make due with this. Hope you enjoy and as always please Read and Review.
Disclaimer- Yep, still don't own anything that you recognize.
A Muse Scorned
I, also known as SouthernGirl or Tina to most of the community, sat staring at the blank computer screen. I was going on the second hour. I was starting to go blind from staring at the white, glowing screen. Still, no idea or even a word entered my brain. I was beginning to get frustrated. Frustration and me do not go well together. It usually ended in something or someone getting broken.
"Arrrggghhhh," I screamed, slamming my head repeatedly against the defenseless keyboard.
"Somehow I don't think ZXark regoarh gjaroitr a gioaherio is an actual sentence in any language. Though it could be one of those sci-fi languages I've been reading so much about," a perky female voice chimed in behind me.
I turned in my seat to look into green eyes. Further examination of the person behind me revealed a girl with long black hair that looked dusty, she was too thin, and she wore a toga that looked in desperate need of dry cleaning. She just stared at me, blinked and smiled.
"Hi, I'm Aria. Your muse."
"I know," I growled. "You introduce yourself everytime you make an appearance."
"Oh, hmmmm, I do ?"
"Yes."
I turned back to my computer allowing my fingers to hover over the keyboard just waiting for inspiration. When it didn't come I spun around to completely face Aria. She continued to stare at me blankly with a grin plastered to her face. After a few moments of my staring the smile wavered a bit.
"Can I help you?"she asked, perky as ever. A little dim-witted but perky.
"You can start by doing your job."
A frown immediately creased her features and I could just tell that she was thinking. It seemed like a difficult task. I thought that at any moment I would see the rusty gears in Aria's head grind to a halt and steam begin to pour out of her ears. With Aria anything was possible. Once again the blank smile formed on her face.
"What's my job again ?"
"Inspiration," I spoke slowly. "You're suppose to be inspiring me here so that I can write great stories. So can you get started ?"
"Well, I'm kind of drawing a blank in the inspiration department. Also the idea department. And pretty much every department having to do with writing."
"Great," I sighed, my head crashing against the keyboard again. "Then why are you here ?"
"I don't know."
"You have got to be the worst muse in the history of muses."
"Hey ! Now insults are not necessary. I have had my moments. I inspired you to write that great X-Men fic."
"That turned into a complete Mary Sue no thanks to you. I had to kill it after seven chapters. That's seven chapters of my life I'll never get back."
"Well," she was thinking hard again ",what about Click Your Heels Three Times ? And Somewhere Over the Rainbow ? And No Place Like Home ? Those were all excellent stories that you wrote."
"That you abandoned me half way through. Are you going to inspire me or not ?"
"No," she answered simply.
"Fine. You're fired."
"W-w-what !?!," she sputtered in anger. That was one thing she could get right. "You can't fire me !"
"Can and did." I waved to her. "Tell the other muses in Museland I said hello."
With a poof of violet colored smoke that smelled quite a bit like rotten eggs Aria was gone. I sighed and turned back to the formidable task at hand. How was I going to write a story without a muse for inspiration ? Perhaps the employment center in Museland would send one immediately. Yeah right, I wasn't exactly a high priority case there. They had paid authors to send muses to. Another sigh escaped my body when I finally accepted the fact that I was stuck until I was sent another muse and who knew when that would be.
Meanwhile In Museland at The Unemployment Center for Muses That Are Hopeless Failures A.K.A: UCMTAHF for short.
Aria sat in the uncomfortable wooden chair, flinching with every screamed word from her employment adviser. The heavy lady with the beehive hair-do and the cat-eye glasses was beyond angry with Aria this time. She had turned a shade of red that Aria had yet to see on another person much less anywhere in nature.
"That was you last chance you poor, miserable excuse for a muse. It was a simple assignment. It was a fanfic writer. It wasn't like this writer earned a check for her writing unlike your last assignment. That poor guy now can't write anything under ten thousand pages. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW ! You've failed to inspire every writer you've ever been given. Or you've managed to give them inspiration through half of the story and then up and leave. No more assignments."
Aria had gone partially deaf from the screaming in her ear from her adviser. Aria turned on her best charm which consisted of a blank smile and deer in headlight eyes.
"So, when do I start my next assignment ?"
"YOU DON'T ! Now get out."
When Aria didn't budge from the chair the adviser had two very burly looking bouncer muses throw her out onto the street. Aria quickly bounced to her feet and went about dusting off her already dirty toga with a growl.
"I'll get my revenge. Tina hasn't heard the last of me yet."
With a poof of violet colored, rotten egg smelling smoke Aria disappeared back into the real world. Tina had already gone to bed by the time Aria made it back to her house. She had to ask for directions several times through several fandoms. With an evil smile Aria raised her hands over Tina's sleeping form.
"If its inspiration she wants. Inspiration she will get."
Aria cackled evilly as both of them vanished in a nasty smelling haze. When they reappeared with a pop in another world Aria watched as Tina woke up from the feeling of falling. With a great splat Tina ended up as a pile of goo on the marble porch.
"Oops, lets try that again shall we ?"
I remembered falling and becoming a great puddle of goo thanks to Aria. Stupid muse. What she did later was the worst pain that I had ever felt in my entire life. She rebuilt me from the pile of goo that she had turned me into. Every bone knit itself back together. Every muscle found its proper place. Then my skin reformed.
"YE-OUCH !" I looked up at Aria as she floated down next to me. "What do you want ? I thought I fired you. Where the hell am I ? Send me back home this instant."
"You wanted inspiration and I'm giving it to you in the best possible form." Her eyebrows knitted together for a moment ",What's your name again ?"
"Tina," I ground out, clenching my fist at my sides.
"Well, Tina say hello to Middle Earth. More appropriately Imladris. The Last Homely House. Home of Lord Elrond the half elven and his children Arwen, Elladan, and Elrohir. Also the home of..."
"I get the picture. I have read the books after all. What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Inspiring you like I said before. TTFN."
"Oh, no you don't."
Before I could grab her she disappeared. I looked around the porch that I had been dropped on and decided that I needed to sit or I would pass out from the terrifying events of the day.
"Who are you and where did you come ?"
Could my day get any worse ?
A/N 2- I have absolutely no idea where this is going but I hope to continue it even though I no longer have a muse. Please read and review. Flames will be used to fuel a Balrog that I keep as a pet to eat door-to-door salesmen.
A/N- Once again the plot bunnies give me an entirely different story line instead of just helping me with the other two fics I've got going. So until I get over the writer's block for those two you'll just have to make due with this. Hope you enjoy and as always please Read and Review.
Disclaimer- Yep, still don't own anything that you recognize.
A Muse Scorned
I, also known as SouthernGirl or Tina to most of the community, sat staring at the blank computer screen. I was going on the second hour. I was starting to go blind from staring at the white, glowing screen. Still, no idea or even a word entered my brain. I was beginning to get frustrated. Frustration and me do not go well together. It usually ended in something or someone getting broken.
"Arrrggghhhh," I screamed, slamming my head repeatedly against the defenseless keyboard.
"Somehow I don't think ZXark regoarh gjaroitr a gioaherio is an actual sentence in any language. Though it could be one of those sci-fi languages I've been reading so much about," a perky female voice chimed in behind me.
I turned in my seat to look into green eyes. Further examination of the person behind me revealed a girl with long black hair that looked dusty, she was too thin, and she wore a toga that looked in desperate need of dry cleaning. She just stared at me, blinked and smiled.
"Hi, I'm Aria. Your muse."
"I know," I growled. "You introduce yourself everytime you make an appearance."
"Oh, hmmmm, I do ?"
"Yes."
I turned back to my computer allowing my fingers to hover over the keyboard just waiting for inspiration. When it didn't come I spun around to completely face Aria. She continued to stare at me blankly with a grin plastered to her face. After a few moments of my staring the smile wavered a bit.
"Can I help you?"she asked, perky as ever. A little dim-witted but perky.
"You can start by doing your job."
A frown immediately creased her features and I could just tell that she was thinking. It seemed like a difficult task. I thought that at any moment I would see the rusty gears in Aria's head grind to a halt and steam begin to pour out of her ears. With Aria anything was possible. Once again the blank smile formed on her face.
"What's my job again ?"
"Inspiration," I spoke slowly. "You're suppose to be inspiring me here so that I can write great stories. So can you get started ?"
"Well, I'm kind of drawing a blank in the inspiration department. Also the idea department. And pretty much every department having to do with writing."
"Great," I sighed, my head crashing against the keyboard again. "Then why are you here ?"
"I don't know."
"You have got to be the worst muse in the history of muses."
"Hey ! Now insults are not necessary. I have had my moments. I inspired you to write that great X-Men fic."
"That turned into a complete Mary Sue no thanks to you. I had to kill it after seven chapters. That's seven chapters of my life I'll never get back."
"Well," she was thinking hard again ",what about Click Your Heels Three Times ? And Somewhere Over the Rainbow ? And No Place Like Home ? Those were all excellent stories that you wrote."
"That you abandoned me half way through. Are you going to inspire me or not ?"
"No," she answered simply.
"Fine. You're fired."
"W-w-what !?!," she sputtered in anger. That was one thing she could get right. "You can't fire me !"
"Can and did." I waved to her. "Tell the other muses in Museland I said hello."
With a poof of violet colored smoke that smelled quite a bit like rotten eggs Aria was gone. I sighed and turned back to the formidable task at hand. How was I going to write a story without a muse for inspiration ? Perhaps the employment center in Museland would send one immediately. Yeah right, I wasn't exactly a high priority case there. They had paid authors to send muses to. Another sigh escaped my body when I finally accepted the fact that I was stuck until I was sent another muse and who knew when that would be.
Meanwhile In Museland at The Unemployment Center for Muses That Are Hopeless Failures A.K.A: UCMTAHF for short.
Aria sat in the uncomfortable wooden chair, flinching with every screamed word from her employment adviser. The heavy lady with the beehive hair-do and the cat-eye glasses was beyond angry with Aria this time. She had turned a shade of red that Aria had yet to see on another person much less anywhere in nature.
"That was you last chance you poor, miserable excuse for a muse. It was a simple assignment. It was a fanfic writer. It wasn't like this writer earned a check for her writing unlike your last assignment. That poor guy now can't write anything under ten thousand pages. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW ! You've failed to inspire every writer you've ever been given. Or you've managed to give them inspiration through half of the story and then up and leave. No more assignments."
Aria had gone partially deaf from the screaming in her ear from her adviser. Aria turned on her best charm which consisted of a blank smile and deer in headlight eyes.
"So, when do I start my next assignment ?"
"YOU DON'T ! Now get out."
When Aria didn't budge from the chair the adviser had two very burly looking bouncer muses throw her out onto the street. Aria quickly bounced to her feet and went about dusting off her already dirty toga with a growl.
"I'll get my revenge. Tina hasn't heard the last of me yet."
With a poof of violet colored, rotten egg smelling smoke Aria disappeared back into the real world. Tina had already gone to bed by the time Aria made it back to her house. She had to ask for directions several times through several fandoms. With an evil smile Aria raised her hands over Tina's sleeping form.
"If its inspiration she wants. Inspiration she will get."
Aria cackled evilly as both of them vanished in a nasty smelling haze. When they reappeared with a pop in another world Aria watched as Tina woke up from the feeling of falling. With a great splat Tina ended up as a pile of goo on the marble porch.
"Oops, lets try that again shall we ?"
I remembered falling and becoming a great puddle of goo thanks to Aria. Stupid muse. What she did later was the worst pain that I had ever felt in my entire life. She rebuilt me from the pile of goo that she had turned me into. Every bone knit itself back together. Every muscle found its proper place. Then my skin reformed.
"YE-OUCH !" I looked up at Aria as she floated down next to me. "What do you want ? I thought I fired you. Where the hell am I ? Send me back home this instant."
"You wanted inspiration and I'm giving it to you in the best possible form." Her eyebrows knitted together for a moment ",What's your name again ?"
"Tina," I ground out, clenching my fist at my sides.
"Well, Tina say hello to Middle Earth. More appropriately Imladris. The Last Homely House. Home of Lord Elrond the half elven and his children Arwen, Elladan, and Elrohir. Also the home of..."
"I get the picture. I have read the books after all. What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Inspiring you like I said before. TTFN."
"Oh, no you don't."
Before I could grab her she disappeared. I looked around the porch that I had been dropped on and decided that I needed to sit or I would pass out from the terrifying events of the day.
"Who are you and where did you come ?"
Could my day get any worse ?
A/N 2- I have absolutely no idea where this is going but I hope to continue it even though I no longer have a muse. Please read and review. Flames will be used to fuel a Balrog that I keep as a pet to eat door-to-door salesmen.