Disclaimer: The fun about this sentence is that you don't realize it doesn't say anything until you've finished reading it. Also, I don't own Harry Potter, and I'm not writing this to make a profit. I promise.
Warning: This is a slashfic. This means that there are boy/boy acts of a sexual nature. If you do not want to read it, then skip over it. The lemon doesn't need to be read for the story to make sense, so I'll mark off where it begins and where it ends. If you don't want to read the lemon, then just skip over it. Just look for the sets of XXX. The story also contains swearing.
Want
He represented all that Teddy Lupin wanted, but could not have, and would not bring himself to take.
Every time he saw his unruly black hair, scanned that broad frame, caught those breathtaking hazel eyes or laid eyes on that dazzling grin, he found himself wanting to thread his fingers through that hair, run his hands all over that body. He wanted to look into those eyes all the time. He wanted to be the one to make him give that dazzling grin.
Teddy knew what he felt for James Sirius Potter, even as he knew that what he felt could never be acknowledged. He was with Victoire Weasley, and he was happy. She was his ray of sunlight in a cloudy sky. His rose in a field of thorns. His diamond in the rough.
But even as Victoire was all of those, James outdid her, without even trying, and he'd never know. He was the sun. He was an entire field of roses with no thorns. He was Teddy's Hope diamond.
At least, that's what Teddy told himself. Even though he knew James could never be those things to him. He used all the reasons why as a mantra that kept his thoughts centered firmly on the woman who would be his wife. I'm six years older than he is. He's going to be an Auror, and I'm going to be the Care of Magical Creatures professor at Hogwarts. I have Victoire. He likes women, not men.
Even though he repeated those thoughts religiously, he couldn't stop himself from feeling some small beacon of hope whenever James looked his way.
If he weren't so busy denying it, he would've been ashamed at the feelings he found himself feeling for James. Here he was, twenty-eight years old, getting ready to be married. He was supposed to be mature, thoughtful, adult. Yet he found himself fighting down a blush. Trying to hide his increased heart rate every time James gave him that blasted grin.
"Teddy, love," a voice snapped Teddy out of his thoughts. It was Victoire, and she was levitating bags behind her as she walked down the stairs. "Your tea is probably getting cold," she commented, and Teddy looked down to find that, indeed, the cup of tea he'd been nursing as he sat as his kitchen table had gone cold.
"You know me so well," he said, managing to force a smile. He tried to make it look convincing. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Victoire saw right through it.
"What's wrong, love?" she asked, leaving her bags in midair as she sat across the table from him, catching one of his hands in both of hers. Instinctively, Teddy flinched, and his hair grew long and black, hanging over his face so that he could hide from her. He didn't want her to see these thoughts that he was thinking, yet he knew that if she looked into his eyes, she'd find them. It was one of the reasons he loved her so, her ability to see right into his soul. Her quiet understanding had been what had attracted him all those years ago, back in Hogwarts, and was what had kept them together. Teddy knew that he could go to her with anything, and that he'd always have her quiet, unwavering understanding and support.
But not with this.
"It's nothing," Teddy said quietly, giving his head a little shake. "I'm just… anxious about you leaving, that's all."
Victoire must have bought his lie, because she let go of his hand. Teddy looked through his curtain of hair to see her smiling at him. He let his hair shorten so that her outstretched hand could brush his cheek. "I'll only be gone a week, Teddy," she said. "Mum wants me to visit her family so badly. She wants me to get better in touch with my 'veela 'eritage'," she continued, faking her mother's still-overbearing French accent with a smile.
Teddy gave a weak smile of his own, and Victoire sighed as she pulled on his hand to get him to stand. He complied, and she hugged him, nuzzling the side of his neck with her nose. Teddy let out a deep sigh and felt his body relax. Ever since he'd been a baby, or so his grandmother and godfather had told him, he had loved to nuzzle. His godfather, Harry - James's father, he thought, before shaking himself mentally - liked to theorize that Teddy got it from his late father, Remus.
"Are you sure you'll be all right, love?" Victoire was asking now, and Teddy shook himself from his thoughts. "If you absolutely can't bear to be away from me, you can always come with me."
"No, that's all right," Teddy said as he pulled away and gave her a much more natural-looking smile, one that she returned. "You have a good time, love. I'll see you in a week." He helped her gather her luggage, and then said, "Maybe I should Apparate there with you, so that you aren't stuck with all this luggage."
"Oh, that won't be a problem," Victoire said brightly, as a "pop!" sounded in the kitchen. Teddy jumped and looked toward the sound of the noise to find none other than James standing there, tired smile on his face. His hair looked so adorably tousled, like he'd just gotten out of bed. He probably has, Teddy thought, and tamped down hard on the yearning to see what James would look like in Teddy and Victoire's bed.
"Hey, Teddy," James said, and Teddy repressed a shudder. While Teddy had inherited what Harry had said what Remus's slightly hoarse voice, James had gotten Harry's baritone. When Harry spoke, Teddy always found it comforting, warming. When James spoke…
"Hey, James," he managed, giving James a sheepish smile. "You're helping Victoire, then?"
James nodded as he gave a sleepy yawn. Teddy closed his own eyes for just a few moments, and lightly clenched his hands to keep them from framing James's face, playing with his hair. "She asked me a couple days ago, since she figured you'd be sleeping," James said, before giving Teddy a sudden frown. "Come to think of it, why aren't you sleeping?"
"I couldn't sleep," Teddy replied honestly. "I was… thinking."
"About what?"
"About how in the name of Merlin he'd survive without me for a whole seven days," Victoire cut in with a smile, and James laughed. Teddy repressed another shudder as James's voice washed over him, even deeper with recent sleep than normal. It seemed to rebound around the kitchen endlessly, enveloping Teddy in a veritable symphony.
"I'm sure we'll think of something," James said with that grin, and Teddy gave a strained smile.
"Well, James, we'd better get going. Thanks for helping, by the way," Victoire said, and James gave her a bright smile.
"It's no problem, Victoire. Hey, you don't think the Delacours would mind if I used their washroom while I'm there, before I come back?" James asked, and Victoire laughed, her voice tinkling.
"James, you're the eldest son of Harry Potter, savior of the Wizarding world. If you asked for it, they'd probably draw you a bath themselves."
Teddy gave a start, his mind jolted by the image of James, weary from Auror training, soaking in a hot bath. Asking for a massage. Asking Teddy to join him…
A pair of loud pops alerted Teddy to the fact that James and Victoire had left, and he felt a vague twinge of sadness at the fact that he hadn't been able to give Victoire a proper goodbye. Although, he could hardly be blamed, when James Sirius Potter was in the room.
Victoire obviously didn't know anything about Teddy's fixation. She couldn't know. She'd been too good to Teddy, too loyal. She'd never cheated on him, never pressured him about marriage, never been anything other than a perfect companion and, later on, lover. To know that Teddy was lusting after James would break her heart. Or make her angry, and she would unleash the infamous Weasley temper all over Teddy. She couldn't know.
Teddy wouldn't have told her anyway. He was too ashamed of the way he felt, whenever he did acknowledge that he felt something towards James. What he felt wasn't right. Not when he had Victoire, and they were happy together.
Sighing, Teddy went to go take a shower in the bathroom attached to the bedroom. A cold shower, to get the last vestiges of a mental image of massaging James out of his head.
He stripped and stepped inside, turning the cold knob and fighting down the shuddering gasp that wanted to erupt. The frigid water pelted his skin, the freezing droplets falling against his skin, clinging to him. He exhaled slowly, watching disinterestedly as his breath formed fog in the shower, only to be dissolved by the spray from the showerhead. He tried to distract himself and calm down by attempting to sense where every one of the drops fell.
He thought he counted three hundred twelve on his face, seven hundred eight on his torso, five hundred seventy-four on each arm, and six hundred four on his body from the waist down before he turned around to let the water rain on his back. He hunched over and exhaled again, keeping his eyes closed as he began to count again. He believed that he got to seven hundred thirty-one before he turned around again and shut the water off, feeling much calmer than he had been. He felt a lot colder, but the physical discomfort was a welcome distraction from the mental variety.
He stepped out of the shower and padded across the room toward the closet, grabbing a towel from the shelf inside. He shook it open and began toweling himself off, sighing at the feeling of the soft material on his skin.
He was so caught up in drying himself off and firmly not thinking about James that he didn't hear the soft "pop!" that signaled someone's Apparation back into the house. He didn't hear the footsteps that headed toward his room. He did, however, hear the voice call out, "Teddy? You here still?" and turn around just in time to see James step into the doorway.
"Oh," was all James said, eyes going wide. "Er, sorry, Teddy. I was just wondering if you were still awake, so that we could chat."
Teddy, meanwhile, was fighting a fierce, losing battle to keep the effects of the cold shower he'd just taken. The longer James stood there, seeming disinclined to leave Teddy in peace, the harder the battle got, and the more Teddy felt his self-control slipping. He clenched his eyes shut, repeating the reasons that he and James could not be what Teddy wanted them to be under his breath.
"Teddy? Teddy, what is it you're saying?" James asked, apparently oblivious, his tone questioning. "I can't hear you."
"Excuse me," Teddy said hurriedly, sprinting back into the bathroom. "Six years between us, Auror and professor, Victoire, Victoire, Victoire," he said under his breath repeatedly, leaning heavily against the door. He jumped away from it when James pounded on the door.
"Teddy, are you okay?" his voice passed through the door, worried on Teddy's behalf. Teddy just shook his head and stumbled back into the shower, turning on the cold water once more. This time, however, it just wasn't cutting it. Flashes of James calling out Teddy's name ran through his mind, images of them entwined so deeply they looked like one person dancing across the backs of his eyelids. He realized dimly that he'd gotten an erection, and pressed a hand to the base of his cock, clenching his eyes shut even more tightly. It isn't working, he thought, and fought fiercely to regain his control.
The water was pounding in his ears, muffling the banging on the door and James's worried shouts. Teddy shivered, and whether it was from James or the cold water, he didn't know. All he knew was that the cold water wasn't bloody working, and it needed to start.
Suddenly, there was a "pop!" and Teddy gasped and slammed himself against the back of the shower, pulling the curtain shut. "Teddy, you've got me seriously worried now," James said, and Teddy could hear his footsteps coming closer and closer. No, no, no, no, he thought, shaking his head wildly. You can't see me like this, it's so…
The shower curtain flew to the side, and Teddy found himself pinned under James's suddenly unreadable gaze. He looked up into James's eyes, not feeling the water falling any more, and thought he saw something like heat in them. James extended a hand and said in a blank tone, "You look cold. You could get sick."
Teddy reached up and allowed James to pull him up, and tried to step out of the shower and stumbled. He fell against James, who caught him immediately. He smelled like…something Teddy couldn't identify. He'd have to just say that James smelled like James. He shuddered again.
"Come on," James said again, still in that blank tone, and Teddy stumbled along, heavily supported, back into the bedroom. He was vaguely aware that his erection was still present and was pressing into James's side through his clothes, but James ignored it. Teddy wasn't sure if that relieved or disappointed him.
He closed his eyes as he felt himself being laid down, and shivered again. Then, he gave himself over to unconsciousness.
He didn't know how long he was out, but he came to to find himself feeling… warm. Very, very warm. It was odd, this warming feeling. It felt the same as a Warming Charm, but it was moving across his skin at a very leisurely pace. What's more, it felt like there were two of them, moving in directions independent of each other.
"Teddy?" Teddy shuddered again. He realized now what those warm, soft things moving across his skin were. They were hands that had been covered in a Warming Charm. And there was only one person whose voice could do this to him.
He felt himself becoming erect as his eyes opened, and saw James standing over him, hands halted. James looked over Teddy from end to end, as Teddy suppressed a blush. Finally, James looked Teddy in the eyes and smiled. "Well," he said, removing his hands from Teddy's abdomen, where they'd been resting. "Looks like you're well again, in any case," James said, and his smile turned into a smirk that confused Teddy.
XXX - The lemon starts here. - XXX
"James, what - " he stopped and let out a gasp as James's hand encircled his shaft.
"Just making sure every part of you is warmed up," James said, as his hand began to move up and down. Teddy wanted to jump out of the bed, make James stop, but then James's other hand began to fondle his balls, and he found that all coherent thought had left his mind as all his blood rushed down to his nether regions, making him even harder under James's teasing hands.
"James, I can't… you shouldn't…" Teddy's words became a wordless moan as James gave a particularly hard yank that made Teddy's hips buck off the bed. "Merlin, James," Teddy whispered, as he felt his body tightening. "James… stop, please," he managed, and James's only response was to laugh before letting go of Teddy.
"James, what are you doing to me?" Teddy said softly, as he attempted to drag his head under a pillow to avoid having to face him. Unfortunately for him, James was unwilling to let him hide, and he tugged the pillow away from Teddy forcefully, causing Teddy to jump. James only fixed him in his gaze, and stared for a long time.
Finally, he said, "I'm not as oblivious as you think I am."
"W-what?"
"Don't play dumb with me, Teddy," James said, but without any real malice or anger in his tone. "I've seen you watching me. I've seen the way you shudder, the way your fists clench. It took me a bit, but I think I've got it figured out. You want me, don't you?" The way he said it made Teddy want badly to lie, but he couldn't. He gave a hopeless nod and turned away, staring fixedly out the window.
"Teddy." As though his voice were magnetic, Teddy found his head slowly turning back to see James leaning closer, the bed bending noiselessly under his weight. "What would you say if I told you that I wanted you, too?" The question was so quiet, Teddy almost didn't hear it.
"I… I… you can't," he finally said. "You can't want me, too. We can't want each other. It just…"
"Just what?" James asked as he stood and peeled off his shirt, allowing Teddy to eye him as much as he pleased. Which was probably more than was healthy. James noticed this, and smirked, his hazel eyes dancing in amusement, and the heat was back in them, Teddy saw.
"I'm with Victoire," Teddy said in a firmer voice, even as James shimmied out of his pants next, leaving him standing there in his boxers. This did nothing to ease Teddy's erection, especially when he saw that James had one, too. His eyes rolled back in his head slightly as James ran his thumbs under the waistband of his boxers. "And you're with…" James shook his head, and Teddy paused, before continuing. "We can't do this. It wouldn't be right to her," he said as James laid back down on the bed next to Teddy.
"Then we won't tell her," James said, starting to run his hands over Teddy's torso, across the valleys and lines of his muscles, which twitched under his touch. "It isn't like this'll turn into anything serious. I would never dream of stealing you away from Victoire. We're both just…getting what we want, right?" His voice kept sinking to a lower and lower register, and it was doing a wonderful job of shattering Teddy's resolve.
Then James latched his mouth onto Teddy's neck, and all was lost. His warm breath washed across Teddy's skin, and he found that he was unable even to shudder now. James's hands were roaming everywhere, even as his kissed moved up Teddy's neck to his jaw, then along his jaw to the corner of his mouth. "What we both want," James whispered, before attacking Teddy's mouth.
This, if anything, galvanized Teddy into movement, and he flipped James onto his back and supported his weight on his elbows, staring down at James. He was breathing heavily, he knew, and so was James. Teddy's head dipped and he caught James's bottom lip in his teeth, tugging lightly as he gave a light growl. James let out a moan, and raised his head to mesh his mouth with Teddy's. Their lips moved harshly, bruising each other. Neither could bring himself to care.
James hooked his hands in Teddy's hair and pulled his head downward until James's head was resting against the pillows, and then his tongue darted out to line Teddy's mouth, seeking entrance. Teddy obliged, meeting James's tongue with his own, and they let their tongues move languidly. Suddenly, James grunted, and his tongue thrust into Teddy's mouth, attempting to, it seemed, reach the back of Teddy's throat. Teddy growled again, and mimicked James.
Finally, Teddy needed to breathe, so he pulled away from James's sufficiently bruised lips, using the opportunity to press heated, openmouthed kisses to James's perspiring neck and collarbone. He savored the salty taste as James's chest heaved. "What we both want, right?" Teddy asked with a smirk as he looked up toward James, who nodded as he watched Teddy.
Teddy's smirk stayed on his face as he began to move his mouth across James's chest, latching onto his nipple. He nipped it lightly, grinning as James gasped and grabbed at Teddy's hair. Teddy teased James's nipple until he was satisfied, then moved across his chest to the other one, doing the same thing. James let out a gasp every so often as his fingers twirled in Teddy's hair.
Teddy soon began to move downward further, leaving wet kisses in a trail down James's torso, delving his tongue into James's belly button. James gasped and tightened his hands in Teddy's hair, and Teddy grinned again as he nuzzled the waistband of James's boxers with his nose. He grabbed the waistband with his teeth and tugged on it, allowing it to snap back into place. James let out a little moan, and Teddy chuckled as he yanked James's boxers down suddenly, exposing James's erection to the open air.
"Teddy," James gasped as Teddy blew lightly on his cock. "Teddy, don't - " he let out a shuddering gasp as Teddy took the head into his mouth, swirling it around with his tongue. "Merlin, Teddy!" James shouted as Teddy took more and more of James in. Teddy found, rather smugly, that all of James fit into his mouth. He sucked hard, and James bucked his hips uncontrollably, making Teddy gag, caught off-guard.
Teddy pulled away, causing James to make another little moan. Teddy smirked as he wiped his mouth, and without warning took James in again. He sucked hard again, and began to bob his head up and down slowly. James rolled and bucked his hips, letting out deep groans every so often. He gasped when Teddy hummed, causing the vibrations to go all around his head and down his shaft.
Teddy could sense that James was close, and so he pulled away again, ignoring James's impatient moan and tiny buck of his hips. "C'mere, you," James muttered, and Teddy complied, making his way back up James's body until he met his lips again. Suddenly, he found himself on his back, and James's two fingers were pressing on his lips. "Suck on them," James said, and Teddy quirked an eyebrow as he did so, grinning when he nipped James's fingers and James's eyelids fluttered.
Soon enough, James pulled his fingers out of Teddy's mouth, and Teddy gasped when he felt James's fingers questing around his hole. Slick with Teddy's own saliva, James's fingers were pushing, scissoring, stretching, burning. The burning was bad, but Teddy was willing to wait it out. Just when he thought the burn was at its peak, James's finger hooked, and Teddy's hips bucked wildly as he gave a wild cry. James grinned and hooked his finger again, and Teddy cried out again.
He pulled his fingers out, and Teddy moaned and wriggled his hips, wanting to feel James touch that spot again. He gasped when he felt something much bigger than James's fingers sliding slowly in. The burn came back full-force and Teddy groaned in pain. James ran his other hand down Teddy's face, whispering apologies as he pushed further, until he was seated to the hilt. There he waited until the burn subsided enough for Teddy to nod and push his hips forward a little, bringing James farther in.
James gasped and nodded before pulling out until only his head was still in, then pushed forward again. Teddy moaned and pushed his hips forward again, and James's hand went to his cock. As he began to move faster, he began to pump Teddy's cock in time with his thrusts.
Teddy began to move with wild abandon. He could feel himself coming closer and closer to the edge.
Right as he was about to tumble over it, James's hand went to his cock and pumped hard. Teddy let out a loud gasp, seeing stars as he tumbled over the edge of orgasm, his cum shooting up and splattering both his and James's chests. The feeling of Teddy's muscles clenching around James's member brought James to the peak of his own orgasm, and he gasped and shuddered, his eyes fluttering shut as he slumped down onto Teddy.
XXX - The lemon has ended. - XXX
They laid like that for a long time, until James moved enough to pull out of Teddy and flop down next to him.
"We both wanted that, right?" Teddy asked presently, and James nodded as he stood shakily and held out a hand for Teddy to take.
"We did. And now we both need a shower," he replied with a grin.
The rest of the week moved by, each day bringing James and Teddy together. Every time, Teddy knew that he was becoming more and more attached to James, something beyond a purely physical attraction forming. He also knew that James, Victoire, and he himself would never accept that. What he and James were doing what fulfilling their wants. That was all.
It was delusional, unrealistic, to even hope for anything more.
And all the while, Teddy tried to keep the guilt eating him at bay, telling himself that he wasn't betraying Victoire. He loved her. He just wanted James. He didn't love James. He couldn't love James.
Finally, the day of Victoire's return arrived. The night before, lying side by side, James and Teddy had agreed that Victoire couldn't know about what had gone on the week she was gone. Teddy supposed that they didn't really have a choice. It didn't stop the guilt, though. I have to tell her, he'd think, then immediately retort, She can't know. Absolutely cannot, must not know. It wouldn't be fair to her.
It's even more unfair to betray her behind her back and then keep it a secret, the voice replied. Teddy found that neither he nor the other voice had much of a response to that, other than that she must not know about James and Teddy.
Victoire and James Apparated into the kitchen with two pops, and Victoire immediately launched herself into Teddy's arms. "I missed you so much, love," she said as she smacked a noisy kiss onto his lips. Thanking Merlin he'd brushed his teeth the previous night and this morning, Teddy kissed her back, trying to ignore the momentary dark glint in James's eyes.
"I missed you, too, love," he said, smiling at her. "Did you have a good time with Monsieur and Madame Delacour?"
"Yes, I did. But it would've been better had you been there," Victoire said, tracing Teddy's collarbone with her fingers. Teddy gulped lightly, and his eyes half-shut as Victoire pressed on his Adam's apple.
"Well, come and tell me all about it," he said, sitting her down at the kitchen table. He turned to James to ask whether he wanted to stay and hear about Victoire's visit, but James had already Apparated. He frowned, dread rearing in his heart. It stilled, though, at the sound of Victoire's voice.
"What's wrong with James?"
"Couldn't say, love," Teddy said, though inside he thought repeatedly, He wanted more than what we both wanted. I thought he knew that I had to stay with Victoire. Keeping the whole thing secret was his damned idea! He sat down and pretended to listen attentively to Victoire's story, laughing, nodding, and making encouraging noises throughout the telling.
"Oh, Teddy, I missed you so much, love," Victoire said suddenly, and Teddy snapped to, looking into her eyes. There was desire there, to be sure. There was also something else there, but Teddy couldn't quite put his finger on it.
She stood slowly, and held out her hand. Teddy took it, and allowed her to lead him into the bedroom. Meanwhile, his inner voice was yelling things like, You just did this with James a matter of hours ago! And now you're going to act like you've done nothing wrong.
He gave himself a mental shake as he thought, I didn't do anything wrong. It was only what we both wanted. I still love Victoire. I'm going to marry her.
Sure. That was all the voice said, and Teddy found his attention drawn to Victoire, who was beckoning to him, eyes shining. He went to her, bending down over her, placing one knee on the bed.
Tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her now, tell her right now!
As their lips connected, Teddy suddenly couldn't stand it any more. He ripped himself away and said, "James and I had sex while you were at the Delacours'."
Victoire blinked and stared at him for a minute, then laughed. "Funny joke, love," she said.
"No joke, Victoire," Teddy said, silently horrified at himself. Ever since James had effectively shattered his resolve that first day Victoire had left, he'd been absolute crap at keeping any sort of determination. It was appalling, really. "He and I slept together. Multiple times. We weren't going to tell you, but I can't keep that a secret from you. It wouldn't be fair."
Victoire's eyes seemed to harden as she stood up slowly, padding up to Teddy to stare him in the eye, though Teddy was about a head taller than she was. "You cheated on me?" she asked quietly, and Teddy couldn't decipher what was in her tone. "With James? James, your godbrother?" Teddy nodded, and Victoire's hand moved.
She'd slapped him across the face and stepped away before Teddy could register what had happened. "How could you?" she asked him softly. "I'll bet you screwed him the second I left, you bastard. I bet you two fucked like rabbits every damn day. Meanwhile, I was going to visit a family that I thought we were planning to make just as much yours as it is mine. And here you are, in our home, fucking James Potter!" She started to cry then, and began to pound her fists on Teddy's chest.
"How could you?" she asked him over and over again, and each time she asked, Teddy felt less and less able to give a good answer.
Of course, there isn't really any sort of a good answer for what I did, he thought ruefully. Yet, even as Victoire sobbed and hammered him with her fists, he couldn't bring himself to regret what he had done. It was as though telling Victoire had absconded him of all guilt, and he was free to feel whatever he liked about sex with James. He decided to feel that it had been amazing, mind-blowing, absolutely wonderful.
He caught Victoire's fists in his hands, and waited while she struggled to hit him some more. Finally, she stopped moving, and looked up at him, hurt and rage flashing in her eyes, with that same unidentifiable emotion Teddy had seen in them before.
She yanked her hands from Teddy's and Apparated on the spot. Teddy blinked a couple times, then heard another pop and turned around to find James facing him, irate. He stepped backward automatically, though James made no move. He had the nasty feeling a punch from James would hurt a lot worse than a slap from Victoire.
"You told her," James said lowly. "Couldn't wait even five minutes, and you told her."
"I couldn't lie to her like that, James," Teddy said desperately, hair lengthening so that he could tug on it. "I just… I couldn't. That isn't fair, not when I love her - "
"She fucking cheated on you, too, Teddy!" James roared, and Teddy blinked, much like Victoire had when Teddy had told her about his tryst with James. "I Apparated there to find her kissing some guy I'd never seen before."
"French people are very kissy-touchy-feely - "
"And they also make it a point to have their hands inside each other's shirts?" James cut across him, and Teddy blinked again. That was what the look James had worn when Victoire had returned. Not because he was jealous of Victoire, but because…
"She cheated on me," Teddy said slowly. "While in France." James nodded. "Talking to a family that she just told me that she was 'planning to make just as much mine as it is hers'." Another nod. "And she had the nerve to slap me for being honest upfront and tell her?" A third nod.
Teddy growled. "That little bitch," he said, shaking his head and letting out a dark laugh.
"Teddy, don't let it - "
"Don't let it what? Don't let it get to me? Too late for that," Teddy said bitterly. "I trusted her to stay faithful to me, the way I always had to her, until after she left. She looked so hurt when I told her…" he trailed off as he realized what that emotion he hadn't been able to identify in Victoire's eyes suddenly became clear. "And she felt guilty at the same time, because she'd done the same fucking thing to me. And yet she acted so self-righteous and, 'How could you, you bastard?' I cannot believe her."
Yet, even as he said those things, he kept thinking, What you did was no better. So what now?
"What now?" James asked, unaware that he had just parroted Teddy's thoughts.
"Victoire and I are done," Teddy said immediately. "Obviously, we aren't meant for each other, not if she cheated on me with some Frenchman."
"What about you?" James asked, and Teddy looked him in the eye for a long moment.
"The entire time we slept together, I kept telling myself not to be stupid, because nothing could ever come out of it. But now… with what happened between Victoire and I…" He trailed off, biting his thumb. Finally, he said, "I think that you're who I'm supposed to be with, James."
James grinned, and they moved to embrace. As they did so, however, two pops sounded, signaling two Apparations. Teddy looked to where the sounds had come from to find Victoire standing there with a brunette woman in tow. "Tell her," Victoire said. "Tell her how you and James fucked each other senseless."
"Don't pull that shit with me, Victoire," Teddy said, internally marveling at how quickly he'd gone from devoted love to utter loathing and betrayal. "I know that you cheated on me while visiting your family. And do you know who told me? James."
"James," the woman said. "You slept with him?"
Teddy froze, heart beating loudly. No, no, no, no, no, no, he kept repeating as he turned to look at James. James, for his part, looked abnormally pale. "Listen, Lisa - "
"You did. You slept with this man!" Lisa yelled. "Who is he?" She turned to Teddy. "Who are you?"
"Teddy Lupin," Teddy replied slowly. "Who are you?"
"Lisa Spencer," she replied. "James is… or, was my boyfriend."
No, no, no, no, no, no! "Your boyfriend?" Teddy repeated calmly. "James is your boyfriend?"
"That's what I said."
"I see. He told me he had no one. Believe you me, madam, had I known he was seeing someone, I never would have slept with him."
"Why not?" James demanded, and then flinched involuntarily under the frosty glare Teddy sent his way.
"Because it wouldn't have been right to Lisa," Teddy replied softly. "Lying doesn't do anyone any good. All it does is ruin relationships, undermines them with deceit and trickery. Eventually, you learn that you can't trust anyone."
With that, Teddy Apparated out of the house, to the grassy cliff nearby. He landed in a field of flowers and simply laid there, allowing the hurt to crash through his system. He cheated on Lisa… and lied to me about it. He made me… Even as he thought it, he couldn't finish it. He was just as much to blame for this whole mess as James was.
He heard a "pop!" and lifted his head to see James standing there. He laid his head back down and waited for James to leave. James didn't leave.
Finally, Teddy said, "What is it, James?"
"Teddy... I'm sorry," James said, his voice hollow.
Teddy growled and flopped backward. "Sorry for what?" he asked. "Sorry for lying to me, or sorry because you got caught?" James walked over to stand next to him.
"Both, I guess. I know you don't really want to hear that," he said, and Teddy snorted in agreement. "But I do know that I believed you when you said you and I were supposed to be together. Teddy, I…" he paused, and Teddy could hear him gulp. "When you glared at me, it chilled me to the bone. And then… you just Apparated, and I felt like you'd vanished, and I'd never see you again. I can't… I wouldn't be able to take that."
Teddy remained silent a while, ruminating, and then finally said, "You won't have to."
"I won't?"
"No," Teddy replied as he sat up to look at James. "You and I… we're supposed to be together, right? It's… what we both want." James nodded, a rueful smile on his face, and Teddy said, "Then we'll be together. I can't trust you… not yet. But we'll build it back up."
James really smiled then, and Teddy couldn't help but smile back, even as he laid backward and James laid down next to him, enveloping him in an embrace. "I love you, Teddy Lupin," he said quietly, and Teddy tightened his hold on James.
"I love you, too, James Potter." And he did. And James loved him.
It was what they both wanted.
- Fin -
A/N: I don't really have much to say by way of explanation or introduction, other than that this is my first slashfic, so any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.
This story is dedicated to Rydia Highwind. See, back in March, when I wrote Intoxicating, my first-ever lemon, I knew that I'd want to write a slash lemon as well, but I had no idea which two characters to use. Rydia suggested I use Teddy Lupin and James Sirius Potter. She was joking, of course, but I planned to use those characters. It took me another three months and reading a very angsty Auron/Rikku FFX story to get hit with a burst of inspiration, but I finally did, and typed this whole thing out in one sitting.
I actually had it halfway written before I realized that it wasn't doing at all what I wanted it to. So I started over. This is what came out.
(edit 13 September 2009): Made some formatting/grammatical changes, and also changed some parts of the plot, though nothing too large; at least, I don't think they're large changes. Among other things, I took out James's girlfriend cheating on him; in retrospect, it was utterly unnecessary. So, it went. The fact that I had seven reviews (all positive), and most of (if not all) of them said something about how confusing the infidelity was. To clear things up, in summary:
- Teddy cheated on Victoire with James.
- James cheated on Lisa Spencer with Teddy.
- Victoire cheated on Teddy with a Frenchman whom I've decided will be named Jacrolfe Portmanteau, simply because I don't care enough about the OC to develop a better name.
Hopefully that makes things clear and easier to understand.
I also changed something that a reviewer was kind enough to point out to me regarding Teddy and James's respective ages. If you didn't catch it, it doesn't matter now, because it's been fixed. Thank you again to that reviewer, I really appreciate it. :)
On an unrelated note, it's obvious that no one actually paid that much attention to my A/N when it was at the top of the story, since I called James "James Sirius Black" and no one said anything about it. XD;; Awesome. Anyway, I guess that really isn't important, since I don't do anything like that in the story itself. I'm just a perfectionist.
As always, read and review, please. Hopefully people who haven't read it before won't be as confused as the earlier readers. If it is and something comes up that I can fix without altering the overall plot too badly, I will do so. If a clarification issue arises, just say so in a review or drop me a PM and I'll do my best to answer/repair the question or story.
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