Characters are from Twilight. Premise of story is loosely based off The Convenient Groom by Denise Hunter. I own neither.
So, this is my first attempt at fanfiction. This story is not meant to be taken seriously. It's meant to be silly, cliche, and ridiculous.
Oh, and I don't have a beta yet. I tried to find and fix all typos and grammar mistakes. Please let me know what you think!
When I plopped back onto my pillows after turning off my alarm, a smile came over my face remembering what day it was. My wedding day. With an uncharacteristically girlish giggle, I threw off my covers and greeted the morning.
It was a gorgeous day, just like the weathermen predicted. All the planning and preparations leading up to this moment had gone flawlessly, ensuring a success. The media was in a frenzy about the marriage of Isabella Swan, famous relationship therapist. With two books, a handful of radio talk shows (with interest in becoming a weekly syndicate, thankyouverymuch) and three guest appearances on the Dr. Phil Show under my belt, I have received a lot of attention in the last few years.
I walked across the room and picked up my new book, Finding Mr. Right for You. My publishers came up with a brilliant plan on releasing the book on my wedding day. It was genius and a win-win for both my publishers and me. My new book will ride on the waves of the publicity and media craze of my wedding, and they paid every expense. Another move by my publishers was to keep the identity of my groom a secret. The reporters and paparazzi were practically twitching with anticipation to find out who Isabella Swan's Mr. Right was. There were many attempts of paparazzi and P.I.'s hired by TMZ and ET to figure out who I was marrying, but they were unsuccessful.
Placing my book back into it's spot on my bookshelf with a satisfied smirk, I walked into the bathroom to run a relaxing bath with the salts that Alice demanded I use today.
I need a perfectly primed canvas in order to make a masterpiece, Bella!
Just as I was getting reading to sink into my Jacuzzi, I heard two trumpets belting out duet of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" from downstairs. Rolling my eyes, I determined not to let him annoy me. Not today.
With a sigh, I sank into the warm water and closed my eyes, resolved to enjoy the unwelcome serenade.
Wait just a second… With a jolt, I sat upright. Oh, hell no! That asshole's ass is grass!
Jumping out of the tub, throwing on my robe, and grabbing my phone (to hire my backup, this is the last time he screws with me!), I stormed my way down the back staircase and into the store downstairs. There they were, facing each other, playing their hearts out. I crossed my arms with a glare, and waited until they noticed me. He was dressed like a hobo, like usual. Only today, his crazy hair was covered by a beanie. Jasper, his business partner and old classmate, was in jeans and cowboy boots. They were so close, I would suspect they were lovers, if Jasper weren't dating Alice. Then again, maybe she's his mask…
As I was contemplating that theory, Edward glanced over to me and immediately started playing "Single Ladies" by Beyonce. Jasper, without missing a beat, began to harmonize with him.
Weirdos, I thought, It's like they share a friggin' brain.
I stormed over and pulled the trumpet down from his mouth.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I screamed.
"Good morning, Princess. Beautiful day, isn't it?" he answered with his signature lazy smirk.
My teeth began grinding when he used that name. He never missed an opportunity to rile me up.
"Why are you here playing around, when that piano," I said pointing to the baby grand on display, "is supposed to be on it's way across the city, where it needs to get retuned in order for you to play it for my wedding, which is in 6 hours?"
"Relax, baby, I got it covered. That piano will be there and ready for when you make your pretty ass down the aisle. Plenty of time."
I closed my eyes, using my breathing techniques to calm down. "Edward," I stated calmly, "I gave you a highly detailed itinerary for a reason. Planning a wedding is a delicate balance of elements. The reason why I gave you a timeline of events is because moving and tuning a piano takes time. And after all that time, the carpenters, florists and decorators are to finish the platform the piano stands on. Which takes more time! And now because of your slacker ass, everything is thrown off schedule! And we'll be short on … can you guess? Huh? That's right! TIME!" Even though I intended to be calm, my voice and anger began to rise as I continued.
"Alright, we'll get on our way. Don't worry Bella, this isn't going to ruin the wedding." Rolling his eyes, he put down his trumpet, and began to order around his lousy store employees to the piano.
"Nope, this is the last time, Edward. I'm sorry, but you're fired. I can put up with the late repairs on my office and apartment upstairs, but my wedding? No way. I'm calling my backup."
"No! Bella, I swear, it's going-"
My cell phone ringing interrupted him. With a silent prayer that it wasn't another complication, I glanced down to see who was calling. When I read the name, I immediately cheered up.
"Mike! Are you just getting into Seattle? How was your flight?"
"Um, yeah. That's what I'm calling about, Bella. I'm not in Seattle." My mind immediately began reeling with how this was going to mess up the schedule.
"What? Oh no! Did your flight get cancelled? Okay, don't panic. Maybe you can get a private plane. You call the airline. I'll call Alice. It will be cutting it close, but you'll make it in time. We can move things around and make it work."
"No, Bella. I'm not coming to Seattle."
"Wh-… Huh? What?"
"I'm sorry, Bella. I can't marry you. I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with someone else."
"Okay. Is this a joke? In love with someone else? Who?" I asked with a nervous giggle.
"Jessica."
"Jessica, as in your secretary?"
"She's not a secretary, Bella. How many times to I have to tell you she's my paralegal."
"Secretary, paralegal … who cares! I can't believe this. You're calling me on the morning of our wedding to tell me that you're in love with your goddamn secretary?"
"I'm sorry, Bella. I really am. I was going to marry you today, I swear. But when I was about to board the plane, I couldn't deny what my heart …" I stopped listening then.
With a shaking hand, I ended the call. Leaning against the wall for support, I tried to absorb what this meant. The wedding is off. What was the media going to do with this? Isabella Swan, left at the altar. I could only imagine the headlines. So much of my career was riding on this wedding.
Oh, God. My book. I closed my eyes as tears began to fall. I slid down the wall, as my knees couldn't support me anymore. My book that was about finding your Mr. Right. Releasing on the same day as my cancelled wedding. I was ruined as I knew it.
What the hell am I going to do?