Chapter 1: The Mario Show
It's the Mario Show. The Mario Show. Oh don't you know it's the Mario Show.
Mario hated the Mario Show. The Mario Show. Oh don't you know it's the Mario Show.
He wanted to go fight an enemy instead. He loved jumping and bumping and pumping, but above all else he loved slumping. He loved slumping in a pile of leaves, slumping in a bed, slumping on cold concrete floors, but most of all he loved slumping on spikes. Mario decided he would get away from the Mario Show. The Mario Show. Oh don't you know it's the Mario Show.
As soon as he possibly could, and so he punched and munched until Luigi, who was his brother, who could not stand and instead sat in the audience clapping Mario on for the Mario Show. The Mario Show. Oh don't you know it's the Mario Show.
So Luigi got hit, and he got grit and spit and a bit. He was so angry that he screamed, very loudly, and it was so loud that in the adjacent studio to the Mario Show. The Mario Show. Oh don't you know it's the Mario Show.
Where they were filming Mr Santa's photo shoot for TV. And he got so annoyed that he screamed louder to scare Luigi and stop him and make him shut up. Mr Santa screamed so loud that he cried, and they took lots of photos of him crying which made him cry even more because of his wife who loved watching him in the magazines, and she hated him crying eyes, because he loved being the cool Mr Santa and just hated being the drooler. He hated being the cooler even more, because then he stopped being canon. Mario was in a cannon too. He went very far in the sky and saw a great spot for a new episode of his show. The show being the show. In that it were just as it was. Mario knew. Oh didn't he know. It was the Mario Show. The Mario Show. Oh don't you know it's the Mario Show.
So he flew a fly through the sky and came down in the town. When he came down he hit the grass and kept hitting it until it was sorry. He was so angry at grass that he screamed. The grass was really sad and it gave Mario a flower to say sorry. It was a Fire Flower so Mario got fire and used it to jumping and bumping and pumping down the slide into Bowser Land. Which was an underground world full of the ground and underneath Bowser. Bowser also lived on some mice, and the mouse called Mouser said that Bowser stole his name so Mario got angry. Mario hated stealers more than anything else in the world. So he screamed. He screamed so loud that Luigi started to scream. Luigi screamed and it made the piano get up and get a pup in a cup. Mario screamed and it made the Fire Flower die. He lost the petals of the Fire Flower but kept the middle. Because Mario was the middle. Donkey Kong was the big. And Toady was the little. Mario hated Toady. He wanted to see Toady so he got in his Mario Cart and beep beep from Bowser Land. Mouse was very sad because Bowser kept stealing letters from his name.