-Call my name and save me from the dark. Save me from the nothing I've become.-
She was drunk again.
It really shouldn't have surprised him. After all, he used to be king of the wildest parties. A drunk girl who was begging to be fcked shouldn't have been any big surprise.
But, it was.
Not just because the girl that was drunk just happened to be the girl he cared for but also because this girl mattered. And, this girl used to be innocent. This girl used to be pure. This girl used to be stable until her brother died and caused her downfall.
She blamed herself.
Nathan knew that. On nights when she didn't pass out, she would babble on and on in drunkeness or in a daze of being high about how if she hadn't had let him get on that plane, he would be living. He would be alive and with her and not lying dead, in the ground as a rotting corpse.
And, then, right on time, she would break down and cry. She would cry out the guilt and the self hatred and the pain of being alone in the world because she didn't recognize Nathan as her rock. She merely thought of him as another guy who wanted to screw her and then leave. She trusted him though, oddly enough.
Then again, she trusted all the guys that used her body.
So, it made sense to her that Nathan was no different. She didn't find it weird that he kept coming back and that when he pushed the hair out her face, it wasn't out of lust, but actual care for her. She didn't notice that every time he touched her, he was gentle. She didn't notice that every time he was inside her, a part of him touched her soul.
Because, she thought her soul was dead. Gone. Rotting in hell just like her brother's corpse was rotting in his grave.
Nobody who knew her before would've thought that Haley James, of all people would be in her current position. Her reputation was officially tainted. She was one of those girls at those parties that you look down upon, that you think are beneath you. She was the party slut.
She was the one that you walked away from when they came near you because the mere presence of her was infecting. She was dirty.
Nobody ever cared to look inside her and see the lost little girl, screaming desperately for a guide. Nobody ever cared to reach out a helping hand and help her through the pain. Nobody led her and so she fell down the whirlpool of drugs and alchohol.
Because, when she was intoxicated, it hurt less.
She wasn't a masochist. She didn't like pain. And, so she drank. She did drugs. She slept around.
She was the storybook character of failure. But, before that, she was something more. She was the goody-goody. She was the girl on the path to success. She was the girl nobody ever thought would fall.
Which is why when she did, she fell hard and fast. And nobody reached out to catch her.
Nathan first met her at a random party and Haley by the time he got there, was already hammered. He wouldn't have paid a second glance at her except.. there was something about her that just made his insides melt. Something about the way she talked and carried herself, despite the fact of her being drunk, that made her shine out through the crowd.
Maybe, it was love at first sight. If it was possible, he'd like to think that he was.
Or, maybe, it was just him making the biggest mistake of his life. He went back and forth between the two. Right now, looking down at her passed out body, a sort of innocent glow emitting from her face, he thought it was the first choice.
She didn't love him.
He knew that. When she was sober, she probably didn't even know who he was. She used him.
The first time they were together, it was not perfect. There were no candles, no roses, no soft music. There was rough fucking, passion, and lust. And, after that first taste of her, he was addicted.
Completely and utterly.
That was why he kept coming back, every time, he tried to stop himself, tried to tell himself that she was just another random slut. But, slowly, he found himself wanting to know more and more about her. He knew everything about her body.
He knew what made her moan. He knew what made her toes curl. And, he knew exactly how to drive her over the edge.
But, he didn't know her beliefs. He didn't know her interests. He didn't know her. And, he wanted to. He wanted to be the shoulder she leaned on when she was hurting. He wanted to be her rock, the one that kept her balanced.
But, she didn't seem to see that.
She just thought of him as another one night stand. Another faceless guy who screwed her and left. She didn't want something more.
For once, Nathan actually wanted to help someone instead of himself. He wanted to lose himself in her. He wanted her.
He wanted to save her.
The question was, could he still save her?
Sometimes he would get frustrated and let down. There were times when she would cast her beautiful brown eyes down upon him in confusion, as if she had no clue who he was or why he was doing there. But, there were other times, the times that remained in the forefront of his mind of when she looked at him, her eyes twinkling with momentary happiness.
It was those times that made him happy as well. It was those times that made him believe she was worth it.
And, she had to be because if she wasn't, it was already too late. Because, he was too far fallen to turn back now.
He wanted to possess her. To know everything there was to know about her. He wanted her to open her gates and let him inside. But, she never did. She never let anyone inside, not mentally at least.
That was the one part of her that was protected. Every other aspect, she shared with everyone and anyone. Her mind, that was protected because it was weak, broken, and shattered. There were too many pieces to pick up.
Nathan didn't care. He wanted to help her in any way possible. She would never let him though.
Haley's eyes fluttered open as she looked up at him, confusion and sleep heavy in her voice, "Where am I?"
"In my room," Nathan answered softly. He had found her drunk again at some random guy's party and promptly after finding her, she had fallen into his arms, passed out.
"Hmm," she moaned softly, "I like your room." She smiled at him tiredly, "I like you too."
The words pierced through his heart and he could feel the smile beginning to form on his face, "Shh, just sleep."
"Okay," she whispered before her eyes closed and she drifted off.
He looked down at her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
He would save her, if it was the last thing he ever did, he would.
She was worth it.