Title: To Preserve Moral Decency

Rating: PG

Summary: Near finds that Matt and Mello share… just about everything.

A/N: Did this on a whim… XD If you want the funny part, it's in the background not the foreground. At least to me.

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At around eleven o' clock at night, the entire orphanage was by then pretty much asleep. Save for Near, of course, because being the little genius that he was, he waited until late in the night to get a hold of the second floor bathroom. It was usually tied up all day long without pause and the only time anyone could get some alone time was late at night when the rest of the orphans were asleep.

So Near sat in his bubble bath with the bubbles up to his ears and relaxed, washing off the bother of another day. He had a few rubber ducks in with him but was otherwise just lounging when the door opened across the linoleum-tiled room.

Near gasped and whirled his head around as Mello walked in, barefoot as usual, with small circles under his eyes as if he had just got done marathon-gaming with Matt.

"Someone is in here," Near said, horrified.

Mello scratched the back of his head as he made his way over to the toilet beside the bathtub. "Ah, shut up. I gotta use the bathroom."

"But you could wait."

"While you float around in there like some fairy princess on a spa trip? As if. I haven't used the bathroom all day and I'm chockfull of Red Bull and Snickers," he grumbled and lifted the lid. He pulled down his baggy black pants, revealing small, slightly tanned legs and sat down.

Near huffed and scooted back to hide in a mountain of bubbles, his eyes shining at Mello in what was probably supposed to be a dangerous glint.

Mello, who was resting his chin in the palm of his hand, looked at Near slightly amusedly. "What, are you gonna start blowing bubbles at me?"

"This is unsanitary."

"I'm not using the bathroom on you."

"I'm not decent," Near pleaded.

Mello rolled his eyes. "I've seen you naked before, you know."

"That was by force," Near emphasized with bit of embarrassment. "And besides… that was a little while ago."

"Like, two weeks. What, are you saying you grew since then?"

"Mello!" Near turned red and hid his face.

Mello gasped and pointed at the pile of bubbles. "You did! Idiot! Dammit, you must be ahead by two full inches now… I'll have to work harder…"

"Oh, Mello, that's s-"

The door opened once again, this time a little redhead with goggles around his neck and deeper circles than Mello coming in. He waved sleepily to Mello on the toilet.

"Hey, Mel."

"Hey," Mello said.

Near's eyes were wide. "Matt, I'm in here - we're in here - we're both using the bathroom!"

Matt looked over as he went to the sink and turned on the water, his toothbrush in hand. "Oh, hey, Near. Sorry, didn't see you."

"That's not the point-"

"Ignore him," Mello said, "he's shy."

"I'm trying to take a bath-"

"Aw, Near, you're shy?" Matt asked, mouth full of toothpaste. "That's cute. What're you shy about? We've all got pile drivers, so you should loosen up a little."

Near turned away. "H-How can you just sit here and have conversation like we're clothed…"

"We use the bathroom together all the time," Matt said, coming over to the tub casually, attempting to hide his lechery. He peered down at Near who sunk even lower into the cooling water. "What're you so nervous about?"

"He grew again," Mello grumbled.

"… Really? All right, Near!" Matt raised a hand for a high-five but was left hanging.

Near sighed, "Please, just leave me…"

As if right on cue, Mello got up and wiped himself, flushing the toilet thereafter. He pulled up his pants and Matt spat in the sink.

"See you in the morning," Matt yawned, walking out first.

Mello left with an improper hand signal.

When the door shut, Near came out of the bubbles and looked at the door apprehensively, wondering if they would come back in for a surprise visit. When they didn't, Near found himself already planning for another bath tomorrow night.

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A/N: XD Ambiguity! … Thoughts?