"It is the will of the gods."
That sentence is Hector's perfect justification for everything, and it has determined my life. I learned long ago not to question anything he told me, for all I'd get was that eyeless stare and that tired old motto. He can be such a bore, but I'm in his debt. Having sacrificed my future, knowing that there is nothing else, I needed a purpose, and he gave me one. Things worked out. Ledah, Ein and I were Hector's perfect little puppets.
Then Ursula got involved and turned Ein against us. Ledah and I still sought to fulfill the will of the gods - what I know now to be Hector's own ambitions. Ein, in turn, corrupted Ledah. We never did like each other much, but I didn't enjoy killing him. Now there's only me to do Hector's bidding. I'm the only remaining Grim Angel.
...Grim Angel. A servant of the gods... More like a servant of an egotistical Magus bent on ruling the world. Still, I've done what I was told to. I've always obeyed orders. That makes me a Grim Angel, doesn't it?
Look at him. So smug. On the brink of summoning Seth and destroying Riviera, about to achieve his life's goal. The Magi were once noble souls, or so I've been told, but I have a hard time believing it now. Does he really believe he's fooled me? This axe, Skadi... It has all the capabilities of a Diviner, or seems to. But after years of watching Ein wield Einherjar and Ledah, Lorelei, I've come to recognize it as what it is. It's a fake. A very cunningly made and convincing fake, but still a fake. My battles with Ein only confirmed my suspicions.
I was so angry when I first realized it. Grim Angels wield Diviners. Why had Hector withheld mine? How could he do this to me? Why play such a trick? Then I thought about it more, remembering the ceremony in which I had received Skadi.
"Do you, Malice, wish to take up the weapons of a Grim Angel?" Hector asked.
"I do," I said, head lowered. It was part of the ceremony - I wasn't supposed to look at him - but I doubt I could have lifted it if I'd tried. The ceremony is preceded by many trials, and the intense battle I'd just gone through had nearly killed me. But I was not going to admit defeat, not after coming this far.
"Do you swear to use your powers only for the service of the gods, and hold their will foremost?"
"I do."
"And will you surrender, willingly and of your own accord..." there was a brief pause, and when he spoke again, I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was smiling."...Your future?"
My future? It couldn't be! All my life I had dreamed of the future, the great things I would do, everything I would become. I could never give that up! And yet... So many of my dreams had revolved around becoming a Grim Angel. I couldn't give that up, either. I don't know how long I knelt there, feeling my life's blood ebbing away as I grappled with this dilemma. Finally, starting to get lightheaded, I reached my decision. "...I... I will."
"Then stand, Malice, and accept your Diviner - the axe of ice, Skadi."
Stand? Now he was asking too much. Couldn't he see I was exhausted? I was all but unable to move, but I raised my head and opened my eyes, and I saw Skadi, the symbol of everything I had worked for for so long. It was glorious, the blue shaft like a bolt of god-given lightning. Somehow I got on my feet, snatching it from Hector's grasp before I fell down again. A flash of light filled the room when I touched it, and as soon as my vision cleared, I was healed. But more importantly, I was a Grim Angel, and the wielder of Skadi. I had no future, but at least I had succeeded in this. Still, there was something unnerving about the way Hector was smirking when I finally faced him...
My future. Soon after I learned that Skadi was fake, I realized that, the way Hector had worded it, he hadn't taken anything from me. I continued to live from moment to moment, and events would keep happening in my life. But those events would center on obeying the Magus's every whim with nothing but the phrase "it's the will of the gods" by way of an explanation. I couldn't confront Hector about it, because doing so would be to admit that I was not a Grim Angel, that I had failed. It wouldn't have made any difference anyway. He'd probably have killed me.
Just like he's doing now.
I did sacrifice my future for this, but not in the way I thought. There was no spell, no incantation to take it from me. I, in my pride, threw it away myself. Would life have been so terrible, if I hadn't wanted to be a Grim Angel? What would have happened if Hector had told me I failed instead of doing what he did? But the thing that bothers me most is, how could I have been so stupid?
"Malice," he says, nodding towards me. Ein and his entourage are here. He's already told me what I'm going to do, but his presence enters my mind anyway, telling me again. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Not that I've given him much reason to believe otherwise. He didn't tell me that I'm going to die in the process, but he doesn't think I need to know. He's always loved to play his stupid little games and keep people in the dark. I nod back, keeping my expression blank. I think I could betray him, die free, but I reject the idea. I am a Grim Angel. I can't go back on my word.
I don't know what's happening. All I know is that somehow I make myself find the girl Ein loves most - the one Hector pointed out to me. He wants Ein to know true pain, and die suffering. It's a stupid game. There's no point to it. But I kill her, and...
Everything is draining away. I can see my life flow by as Hector takes my soul and the girl's.
My thoughts... fragmented...
Ein... please... avenge...
Hector's voice...
Malice, you fool. Did you really think there would be a place for you in my new Asgard? You were never a Grim Angel... (Mocking...) Now die. It is the will of the gods.
I fight it... Yes. I'm not gone yet. I have a sudden burst of clarity - the last rally before death. I throw my thoughts at Hector.
Did... you really think... you had me... fooled?
What is this? (Outrage...)
I... am a Grim... A...n...