Daryl couldn't remember exactly when his thoughts had become unraveled, when he'd become caught in an unending chain of surprises at the hands of Rick. Daryl's entire life was spent trying to blend into the background, never leading anyone, never experiencing hope or inspiration. He could remember the days when he would never look him in the face, his eyes finding comfort in staring submissively at the ground.

"Look at me." Rick's voice reverberated through his thoughts.

"I'm fine." Daryl spat back as he flinched at Rick's advance on him. His words were ignored as the sheriff reached out to grab his arm. "I ain't bit, back the fuck up." Daryl took a couple quick steps backward to avoid the touch, finally looking up just long enough to pull up his crossbow, firing without hesitation past Rick's head and landing an arrow clean through the skull of a strangler walker.

Rick clenched his jaw, not at being drawn on but more so at having Daryl be so snappy with him. Rick exhaled slowly, nodding his head. "I was only worried." His voice softened, his eyes not wavering from his face.

Daryl was feeling particularly irritated that day, unfortunately he couldn't pinpoint exactly where his discomfort was seeping from. Maybe it was the frequency in which he caught Rick looking at him lately, being the observant man he was he could feel every second he was being watched. Even at that moment he carefully watched Rick's eyes fall to his lips before quickly falling the the ground as he turned on his heel.

He felt blood trickle down his arm from where he'd slammed into a wall moments before Rick came to 'rescue' him. They had decided to go alone on a supply late that afternoon, they didn't need much and made the mistake of believing it would be a quick and easy task to scout for meds and food to bring back to the prison. They'd already filled their bags with as much items as possible before getting trapped in a convenience store by a small herd of walkers. Thankfully they'd just cleared the last of them and could make their way out to the small car they took together. It was now getting dark and Daryl had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as they approached the back door of the shop.

"We can't fight another herd like that, I know you ain't gonna like it but I say we bunker down here for the night. We ain't far from the prison an' they're safe tonight, we won't be if there's more standin' outside this door waitin' for us." Daryl knew Rick was out of ammo, he'd carefully counted the shots during their scuffle, he also knew his body was tired, every breath he took shot a pain through his abs and the blood loss from his arm wasn't helping either.

"Look, we can create a distra-..."

"No, I ain't goin' out there, I know you're worried about gettin' back to the group but they can look out for themselves and this spot will be safe if we bar the door. Now you gonna help me block them out or you gonna sit there an' bitch about things some more?" Daryl was definitely fed up with his day at this point, he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth making a small 'tch' sound as he dropped his bags to the ground, getting to work blocking off the front and back entrances to the shop. Rick didn't say anything in response, he simply let out a sigh and began helping.

Within a short time frame they made themselves safe, Daryl slumped back against a concrete wall, sliding down into a sitting position with a cringe on his face. He glanced over at his bag on the floor beside it, pulling it towards him and unzipping it, digging hastily through the supplies he found what he was looking for, a small orange bottle of pills. He popped a couple into his mouth, hastily swallowing them with his dry throat, turning up his lip at the bitter taste.

"Really?" Rick snatched the bottle from his hand. "I'm trapped here with you for the night and you're going to take drugs?"

" 's for sleepin'."

Rick let out a sigh, crouching down in front of him and burying his face in his hands. Even though Daryl was good at reading people's body posture he sometimes had trouble understanding Rick's thought process, like at that moment how he was looking at him as if he cared but there was also guilt there.

"You been lookin' at me an awful lot today." Daryl said defensively. He watched Rick's posture change again, this time was discomfort.

"I just care, I guess lately you just feel more like family to me, I want you to be safe. I want you to survive with me." His words were slow and careful but they only made Daryl want to pull away even more. He was never attached to idea of a family, if anything it disgusted him. He didn't necessarily want anyone caring for him either, his entire life he never really cared about anyone else. For the first time that day he looked up at into Rick's face, their eyes meeting briefly, and maybe it was the Xanax he took but he felt his heart flutter.

It was an uncomfortable feeling he couldn't shake, it only amplified as he glanced at Rick's lips, noting how dry and chapped they'd become. His hair was longer now adorned here and there with greys that probably grew from stress. This was the most he'd observed him all day, he had a cut across his cheek that was lightly smudged with dry blood. He smelled of sweat, blood and gasoline.

Daryl could recall this hot feeling that lingered in his throat once before, he felt it years prior to the apocalypse when his brother had introduced him to an attractive girl. He tagged along with his brother to a small rundown bar where they would often go to play pool, and Merle's go to place for buying drugs. It was always filled with cigarette smoke and scantily dressed redneck girls. He was almost pleasantly surprised when a modestly dressed, petit girl approached him and sat on the stool next to him.

She looked at him and smiled, though he assumed she must be smiling elsewhere since no one ever seemed to have any interest in him. She struck up a small conversation, saying Merle was an old friend of hers, that he'd encouraged her to go sit next to him that night. It was nice back then, having someone talk to openly to him, feeling a delicate hand slip under the bar top to softly brush against his thigh. He didn't built such a massive wall in his mind yet, he didn't ask any questions by the time he was drunkenly stumbling out of the bar, hiding behind the dingy building with her.

By the time his mind caught up with his drunk actions he felt his anxiety building, replacing any fluttering feelings his heart momentarily felt. "Somethin' wrong?" She was asking as she groped between his legs. Though he was still fully clothed he immediately knew she could feel something was wrong. He felt tense, sudden disgust, was his first real encounter with a girl interested in him supposed to be so nauseating? "Hey, you listening? You having problems getting it up? Don't tell me you're some kind of fag."

He couldn't hide the embarrassment, he'd never forget how he felt at that moment. "Fuck off, I ain't no queer, and I don't want some bitch just lookin' for a fuck." He shoved her away, though it was a rather gentle shove it was enough to make her snap and smack him across the cheek.

"Whatever, your brother paid me fifty bucks just to get your sorry ass laid, you ain't even worth a pity fuck. Probably the ugliest limp dick motherfucker I ever seen anyway." Her words cut deep, he wanted to give a retort but he was left with no words, he clicked his tongue and walked past her. He made up his mind that sex was disgusting anyway, a joyless way to vent physical desires, and something he never wanted a part of.

Rick still kneeled in front of him, he gently reached out towards Daryl, causing him to flinch away quickly, furrowing his brows and raising an upper lip in disgust. Rick paused, his hand freezing for a moment in the air before he pulled away, he must have easily seen that Daryl didn't want to be touched at that moment and he respected it.

When he thought about it something sparked in his mind, it's not that he completely didn't want Rick to touch him, infact what made him nervous was that he /did/ want him to reach out. Rick's hands looked rough, covered in dirt from the days scavenge, they weren't delicate or pretty at all. They were definitely manly, yet they were smaller than his own, the thought brought a very faint smile to the corner of his lips.

"Sorry." Rick suddenly spoke sternly.

"What for?"

"For getting us in this mess today, I was careless."

Daryl felt his guard drop slightly at his words, hearing the word 'sorry' might have been one of his rare weaknesses. To have the powerful and protective leader of their group apologize was somehow satisfying. Rick was a good guy, the first person in Daryl's entire life he could look up to. Maybe the drugs had finally kicked in but he felt himself relax as he suddenly reached out and placed a hand over Rick's. "S'alright." It didn't feel how he imagined, his hand was cold, rough and dirty. Reality trickled back in as he went to quickly pull away but Rick caught his hand and gently squeezed it, as if trying to transmute his emotions through the touch, before he let go.

Rick gave him a soft, understanding smile before letting out a loud sigh and laying back onto the concrete. He let out a satisfied groan as he stretched his back and arms out. "Guess this spot is as good as any to sleep." He declared. If anyone else heard his voice they would only hear relief and a bit of happiness, but Daryl picked up on the light quivering of nerves, the small tremble in his voice that lingered. Daryl couldn't help but wonder why he would be nervous, maybe it was just the cold making him shake.

Normally he wouldn't sleep, insomnia always took over at the prison and Daryl would find himself pacing the courtyard for hours on end. Watching the flicker of a candle in the watchtower where he knew Glenn and Maggie were ravaging each other like animals. He'd often walk through the cells, always stopping at the end in front of the thin curtain that covered Rick's cell. Sometimes he'd hear him lightly snoring there and he'd find comfort in knowing he was alive.

He laid down on the concrete beside Rick, curling up facing away from him. He was tired, he was relieved to know the medicine was working and for once he could sleep. Instinctual fear kept him on edge as he listened to every little noise and rustle of the wind outside, ready to jump up and fight at any moment. He could hear Rick stir behind him then all too quickly he felt the sheriff roll into him.

"The fuck?" He half shouted, body tensing up and head whipping to the side to glare at him.

"I'm sorry, it's just cold and we don't have blankets."

Their bodies were pressed together, though Rick was smart enough not to touch him or reach an arm over, instead he folded his arms across his own chest, his stomach pressed to his back, legs touching one anothers, his warm breath grazing the back of Daryl's neck, making his hair stand on end.

"For the record I ain't into no queer shit."

He heard Rick chuckle at his words, a genuine smile danced on his lips and Daryl laid his head back down on the cold concrete. While he wanted to move further away he found a small comfort in being so close to Rick. He'd never laid this close with anyone, nonetheless his first time cuddling with someone was now going to be with a man. He wanted to complain more but the cold crept up on him and Rick's stomach felt warm on his back. He guessed this was the product of the new, fucked up world they were a part of.

In a world with no love Rick was probably looking for some old comforts, Daryl though. With Lori being dead and the whole Shane thing... That's probably when Rick started looking at Daryl more, he knew instantly Lori and Shane were a couple for a while, he saw Rick tear himself down when he finally found out. He noticed how to reached out to the others for small comforts he probably once shared with Lori. Maybe that's all he was to Rick, a sad replacement. Prior to that he never caught Rick looking at his lips or trying to reach out and touch him. He was probably lonely, it was only normal, to feel alone in this world. There was no way they would normally sleep with their bodies pressed together like this, Daryl took it with a grain of salt.

Even at that he let go of his thoughts, rolling over so he was facing Rick, their arms both folded tightly against their own chests as if trying very hard not to touch each other with their arms or hands. Their knees pressed together and Rick slowly opened his eyes to look up. Piercing blue eyes met with Daryls, this time he held eye contact with him, normally Daryl would submissively look away but this time he wanted to see something, see if there was anything there other than his own disillusioned thoughts. Rick swallowed, his lips parting slightly as his eyes trailed down to Daryl's pursed, tight lips, tracing over to the mole just above them then back up into his eyes. He watched Rick's tongue move quickly across his bottom lip, almost suggestively. He felt the tension in the air as they both exhaled softly before Rick quickly rolled away onto his other side to face the wall. Daryl felt the tension slowly leave his shoulders, his heart pounded loudly in his ears. He forced himself to breathe slowly. Whatever moment it was they just shared he knew he had to crush it, he refused to be weak anymore, he would survive and he definitely would never let his heart falter.

Hello reader,

Thanks for reading! I'd like to start with saying I take any and all tips, advise and ideas. The most encouraging thing for me is reviews, I love each and every one of them. In the meantime I'll try to post chapters regularly and quickly. I plan on this being slow build so rating is definitely for later chapters (smut incoming.)