A/N: This is just a story that popped into my head the other day. This is in between Frostbite and Shadow kiss. This is my first fanfic so I would appreciate it if you review. I don't mind any criticism. In fact, I just want to make my writing better so criticism is fine, but could you please make it polite? I listened to the song My Immortal by Evanescence which kind of sets the mood for the story. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. This is a one-shot by the way.

Today was the day. It was the day I would have to say goodbye. Goodbye to him; forever. And it was my entire fault. The guilt was eating me alive and destroying me little by little, piece by piece. I knew that none of us would ever be the same again. I knew that I wouldn't be my smart-ass, back-talking self for a long, long time. I didn't know how I would survive it. He was so young, so full of life. He and I knew each other ever since we were five years old. We didn't become friends until I, in typical Rose Hathaway fashion, hit him in the head with a baseball bat during play time because he had not allowed me to play football with him and Eddie. He had a huge bruise on his head for well over a week. We were close friends ever since.

I loved Lissa, but it was great having him there every step of the way. He understood the struggles of being a dhampir. He understood the sacrifices I was making in order to be a proper guardian for Lissa. As we got older, his feelings for me turned into something beyond friendship. Mine, however, didn't. Don't get me wrong, I did love him. I just didn't love him the way he loved me. I loved him like a brother. He wanted to take the best-friend relationship to a whole new level. But I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. Something, more like someone, was holding me back from loving him. I loved that someone with all of my heart. Stop it, I told myself. I couldn't be thinking about Dimitri at a time like this. Mason was dead. This wasn't self- pity, believe me, I knew self-pity like the back of my hand. This, this was just complete and utter guilt. I led Mason on and it cost him big. It cost him his life. He had sacrificed himself; for me. Even thinking about him hurt. Could I even say his name out loud?

"Mason," I breathed. Tears sprung at my eyes. All I could think about was the strigoi snapping his neck. All I could see was his lifeless body hitting the ground, stone cold.

"Rose?" a voice brought me out of my miserable thoughts. I knew that voice anywhere. I looked up at her. I hadn't even noticed her walk in my room.

"Hi Liss," I said, sounding frail and fatigued.

"You alright honey?" Lissa asked. I wiped at my eyes, trying to hide the evidence that I had been crying.

"I'm fine," I lied. She looked at me, disbelief clearly in her eyes and through the bond.

"What time is it?" I asked, avoiding looking at her directly.

"It's nearly time for the memorial service. You need to get dressed," she answered, turning away from went in my closet and picked out a few black dresses. None of them seemed appropriate for a memorial service. In the end, I chose simple black pants and a long sleeved black top. Ilooked in the mirror, expecting the worst. I wasn't at all surprised at what I saw. After my cry fest with my mother, the legendary Janine Hathaway, on the plane, all I did was have nightmares and then do some more crying again. It had been like this since the day we came back from Spokane. I couldn't believe it had only been three days since his death. It seemed llike the days droned on and on. This was not me. I wasn't one to get overtly emotional about anything. This, however, was an entirely different story. This was Mason who was dead. It was Mason who had always been there for me. It was him that stood up for me. And in the end, I was the one who fucking let him down.

In the mirror, I saw a girl, weathered and weak. Her eyes were red and her nose was puffy. She was hunched over. She wore the most defeated look on her face. All in all, she didn't look like the Rose Hathaway I, and everyone else, knew. I didn't know if I could face my peers, my other friends, and my teachers. I knew what most of them were thinking. They were blaming his gruesome death on me. I couldn't blame them. Mason was loved and adored. He was everyone's friend. He was funny and could start a conversation with anyone. I knew I didn't have a choice, though. I even spoke to Mrs. Ashford. It was probably the hardest thing I ever did in my life. If I was in her place, I would have screamed and yelled at me. I was unintentionally the cause of her son's death. When she was told of her son's tragic death in Spokane, she was shocked and devastated, as anyone would be in the given circumstances. She flew in yesterday for the public memorial at the school and I knew I had to talk to her, no matter how hard it would be.

I went over to the guest dorms and knocked on the door. When she opened it, she looked beyond distressed. Her normally cheerful face that I saw many times over the years during vacations and holidays was crumpled and drained. When she saw that the person knocking on the door was me, however, she did the thing I would have never expected someone in her position to do.

She pulled me into a bone-crushing hug and whispered to me, "Rose, honey, it's not your fault."

That one sentence itself brought out a whole flood gate of emotions I had tried to keep hidden from others. I knew right then and there that this woman was unbelievably and undeniably strong. She had just lost her one and only son, and here she was, comforting me. Remembering the heart-wrenching conversation I had with her, I came back to the present, pulled myself together and walked out the door, Lissa on my heels.

The memorial service was at the chapel. I walked in and quickly noticed the amount of people inside. It was jam-packed. The only space available was next to Eddie, Christian, and Adrian. They were probably saving the seats for us. Before I sat down, I felt the presence of Dimitri in the room. I turned around and discretely gazed into his eyes. He always wanted to be in control of his emotions. I, however, knew him better than anyone and he knew it. He was standing by the door, clearly still on duty. He appeared stoic, but I saw him beneath that façade. His eyes were warm and comforting. He knew what it felt like to lose someone like Mason because he lost Ivan. He was my rock, a shoulder to cry on and I loved him for it. I hated that we had to hide our relationship but it was the only way it would work, as he was my mentor and seven years older than me. I turned back around and continued walking briskly after Lissa to the seats next to Eddie. I sat down and took a long, hard look at him. He looked to be in a similar state as me. He and Mason had been best friends, closer than brothers. I knew he was blaming himself, just as I was. He took my hand and squeezed it in reassurance. A voice suddenly broke the eerie silence.

"Good Morning students," the beak-nosed woman announced. It was obviously Kirova. This was the one time I listened to her whole-heartedly.

"We are here to mourn the passing of one of our novices, Mason Ashford," she paused slightly and made eye contact with our group. "We invite anyone who knew Mason to come up to

the front and share a memory of him with us so we can remember Mason and celebrate his life."

This was the first, and last, time that I agreed with her on any topic what so ever. Quite a few people came up and told their stories of Mason's kindness and notorious wit. Meredith talked about the time Mason stood up for her against a group of stupid royal moroi. Xander told everyone about the pranks he and Mason pulled for years, which earned stern looks from the guardians, but we all laughed freely. Shane told all of us about all the times he and Mason sparred, and Mason won every single time. Eddie let go of my hand and I knew what he was going to do. He slowly walked up to the podium, took a deep breath, and began.

"Mason was my best friend. He and I knew each other from the time we were babies, as our parents were friends too," Eddie gave a half smile, obviously reminiscing about the good

times with his best friend. His expression turned dark as he continued. "I can't explain in words what he meant to me. He was so compassionate. He was there for me throughout all the

good and bad times in my life. He knew how to make me laugh in the worst of situations," Eddie paused, looking every single one of us in the eye. "Mason was a joy to know. We walked

through life together as brothers. But now, the journey has come to an end. His life was taken from us abruptly by evil. I just have this message for Mason and I know you are listening

bro. I know someday you and I will meet again. Maybe Rose will join us in heaven, who knows," there were chuckles all throughout the chapel. His face turned serious again, "But right

now, this is my goodbye to you. We all love you and miss you. So much," a single tear fell down Eddie's face and I tried to control my sobbing.

Eddie came back to his seat. He gave me a hug and I held on for what felt like forever. You stop crying now, I told myself. Mason wouldn't want you crying over him. I stopped the sobs that were erupting from my chest but I knew that the tears were running down my face.

"Is there anyone else who would like to say a few words?" Kirova asked. I knew what I had to do. I had to get this off of my chest. I had to say goodbye.

My voice was shaky as I started my speech. I looked at Dimitri at the back of the room, which was motioning for me to begin.

"Mason and I knew each other since the day in kindergarten when I hit him in the head with a baseball bat for saying that I couldn't play with him and Eddie because I was a girl," I

heard quite a few laughs and snickers from my very large audience. "We were best friends ever since. We connected because of our brash personalities and crude jokes," I stopped,

trying to put my thoughts into words. "But it was more than that. Mason was one of the very few people who really knew me. He backed me up every single time I got into trouble. He

was there for me through it all. He didn't care if I was being cruel to him. He didn't mind when I wasn't in the best mood. Through it all, he was there," our twelve years of friendship

flashed through my mind. "I didn't get the chance to say this before, and I really regret that I didn't. Mason, you were the best friend a girl could have. I should have said this to you

before you were gone from the world. I miss you so much Mason, and I love you so much. Until we meet again," I kept my emotions together.

I looked around the room. I felt like I showed them my deepest thoughts, my regrets, a part of my soul. And I was glad. I felt like a weight lifted off of my shoulders as I said my final goodbye to my best friend.

The room emptied as people filed out, grim expressions on their faces. They expressed their deepest condolences to Mrs. Ashford, who stayed silent during the entire service. I walked outside, wanting my space. I looked up and saw beautiful stars shining brightly. I wiped away a lone tear running down my face.

"Goodbye Mason," I whispered to the shadowy night sky.

Review please!