This is my first story to publish on here, So be nice ;] ..enjoy ;)

SECOND TIME

Chapter One.

I thought it would be easier the second time. More hoped than thought really. But of course it wasn't. It still horrified me as it did the first time. It still gave me nightmares far more vivid than before. The sound of her scream replays in my mind every few seconds. I can't block it out. I would try to think of other things, memories, random thoughts even. But nothing can block it out. I can still taste her sweet breathe on my tongue. I can still feel her hair tickling my neck. I can still smell her subtle perfume. It was worse this time because i knew what i was doing. I thought i was in control, but i wasn't. I thought she'd be okay, i thought she'd stay alive, but she didn't. Of course she didn't.

I was selfish. I was thoughtless. I was immature. But the worse part of all is that i knew what was happening so to speak. I thought about every action i did and yet it wasn't enough. I have no-one to blame but myself. I tried to reverse mother nature. I tried to force our relationship to work, make sense, be safe. I should have known better. The first time it happened i promised myself never again. And then what do i do?

I shake the thought out of my head and start running through the trees, faster than usual. Almost competitively, although i know that all i am running from is myself, running from the truth. I know that if she was here right now she'd be telling me to stay calm, stay safe... to stay in control. She'd be telling me that this wasn't my fault, that this was her decision.

Wrong. She chose to be with me , she never chose to die.

Suddenly i growl. Feeling my insides tingling and my senses getting excited. It has taken over me. It was time for it to break out; Finally.

My claws break out, and i feel them digging into the moist soil. I break out from my clothes , then realise my mistake. Sienna had bought me this shirt.

I howl towards the moon is response to my my howl is weak with longing. Three more of my kind howl back from a far distance , one , i recognise. It's Paco.

I hope he knows to keep his distance. I'm not in the mood for him right now. Normally, he could break me from anything. But not tonight.