A/N:
This one-shot is Sookie's POV of the one-shot I wrote for the Naughty or Nice contest, The Ribbon. I was able to change a few things in this one so some things don't entirely line up in terms of dialogue and small things I didn't like. If you like this, please go read The Ribbon for Eric's POV of everything. Considering what happens in this story, they both have very unique perspectives so I hope you don't see too much rehash.
Thanks to FarDareisMai2 for editing this monster. You're the best beta ever :)
The Waiting
I still remember the day I met him, the love of my life, my soul mate if you believe in that kind of thing. He was standing in the hallway at school, and he looked utterly lost. The first bell rang, and I saw an expression of panic cross his masculine features. I knew he must have been the new student I'd heard the secretary and counselor talking about, and since no one seemed to notice him I decided to help.
"You look a little lost. Can I help you find your way?" I asked, and when he turned to look at me my heart felt like it skipped a beat. I was only looking to help out a new student, the way I would hope someone would help me. I wasn't expecting to find a handsome boy with eyes so blue I felt I was staring at a cloudless sky on a warm summer day.
"Um, I'm new here, and I'm not quite sure where to go," he said, sounding nervous.
Gran always told me that if someone was nervous, you should smile and show them there's nothing to be nervous about, so I did just that.
"I'm Sookie," I said, holding out my hand for him to shake. "Sookie Stackhouse."
"Eric Northman," he said, shaking my hand with a firm grip.
"It's nice to meet you, Eric. Do you have your schedule with you?" I asked. He nodded and handed me the piece of paper we all received before school started. It was unfortunate that he didn't have any time to memorize his schedule or get to know the school. I looked at his first period class and smiled up at him. "You have history first, with me. I'll walk with you there."
I handed him back his schedule, and gestured for him to follow me, but he offered me his arm instead. Gran would think him a gentleman. I smiled at the gesture as I took his arm and showed him the way to History.
By the time we got to that classroom, I was head over heels.
I ended up helping Eric find all of his classes that day, and I was a bit sad every time I had to take him to one he didn't share with me. When the final bell rang, Eric found me at my locker.
"I'm so glad I found you," he said, sounding slightly out of breath. "I was wondering if you'd like to have a malt with me tonight. I saw a diner the other day that seemed to be pretty popular."
"That's Merlotte's," I smiled. "Everyone goes there."
"What about you? Would you like to go with me?"
"I would love to," I said, my heart swelling at the smile on his face. I gave him my address and told him that he could come get me at six, when I finished cleaning up with Gran. He promised he would be there at six sharp, and then we went our separate ways.
When I got home the first thing I did was tell Gran about Eric and asked if it was okay that I go out for a malt with him.
"Of course it's alright. As long as he has you back home by eight and treats you like a lady, I have no objections," she said.
"Oh, thank you, Gran!" I said, giving her a long hug before running up to my room to do my homework and find a different outfit.
By the time Gran called me down for supper I had all my homework finished and had changed dresses three times. I told Jason about Eric over dinner, and he said that he definitely needed to meet Eric before we left. While Gran and I cleaned up, I kept listening for a car and looking out the windows for headlights, and finally, at six sharp I saw him pull up to the house.
Gran laughed at me as I struggled to untie my apron and make sure my dress was unwrinkled. The knock came at the door shortly after that, and I had to hold myself back from opening it too quickly. I took a deep breath and counted to five before I opened the door to a nervous-looking, but smiling Eric.
We said hello, and I invited him in. I took him into the living room and introduced him to Gran, and Jason. Jason was polite and asked him if he intended to try out for a sport, but Eric claimed he didn't have much interest in playing, but very much enjoyed watching basketball. Since Jason was on the basketball team, I knew they'd get along famously. Gran asked him a couple of questions and found out that he was living with his aunt, a woman Gran knew from church. That earned her approval, and after telling Eric to have me home by eight, we were out the door.
He helped me into his car, which looked new and expensive. I hoped he didn't drive it just to impress me, because money wasn't important to me. We made small talk on the way to the diner about how he liked his first day of school, and he made me blush when he confessed that I was the best part of it. When we got to the diner, Eric helped me out of the car, and escorted me in. He took my coat and we went to a corner booth so we could talk.
Over three shared chocolate malts we talked and got to know each other. I told him about my parents deaths, which left Jason and I in Gran's care. It turned out that Eric's parents had also passed, more recently, and that his aunt was the only family he had left. He was poised to take over his late uncle's successful construction company, though he didn't seem that excited about it.
I told him about my dream of becoming a teacher, my passion for shaping children into good and bright people while it was still possible. He didn't balk at the idea of me wanting to go to college and work, and I knew then that money didn't matter to him either. He didn't just want a wife to be a homemaker; he admired my drive to be different.
When it came time to leave I felt a burst of confidence and twined my fingers with his. He looked at me in surprise, and smiled when he squeezed my hand to let me know he was okay with it. He took my hand again when he walked me to my door, and then asked if I had any plans for the next day, which was a Saturday. I didn't, so he asked me on a date to the movies.
"I would love to see a movie with you, but you'll have to come over an hour before we leave because my Gran and Jason will want to feel you out more."
"That's fine with me," he smiled. "The more time I spend with you, the better."
I blushed and quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek before I lost my nerve.
"Goodnight, Eric," I said, and then stepped inside.
I felt like I was walking on a cloud as I told Gran I was home and going to bed, and even after taking a shower, setting my hair in curlers, and picking out my clothes for the next day I still felt light and airy. I was going to spend the rest of my life with Eric Northman; I just knew it.
The next night we went to the movie and held hands through the entire thing. Eric was polite and acted like the perfect gentleman the whole night, and when he took me home I asked if I would see him in church the next day. After talking to Gran I knew that his aunt attended church with us, so I hoped he would be joining her. He said he would be there, and he was. Eric and his aunt sat a couple of pews in front of us, and after the service was over he found me and we talked until Gran was ready to leave.
That weekend Eric came over for supper, and when we were alone he asked me to go steady with him. I couldn't have been happier if someone had just told me I'd won a free car, and I said yes. He began picking me up in the mornings for school and taking me home everyday. We would go out for a malt a couple of times a week, but most of the time he was happy to simply join us for supper.
Eric and I were high school sweethearts, and so deeply in love by the time we graduated that it physically hurt when he left for college. I had planned to go too, but Gran became ill, and since Jason was already away at school it fell to me to take care of her. Eric was wonderful about it, and promised me that after he was finished and we were married I would get to go. I knew it wouldn't happen that way though, and I accepted it. If we were married, there was no way I would be able to go to college. Not only would I not wish to spend the first years of our marriage apart, but I also couldn't risk having children while attending school. At the same time, I didn't want to wait until I was finished so we could marry. I thought that perhaps we would marry when he finished, and then I could go take enough classes to be certified as a substitute teacher.
We wrote each other all the time, and Eric came home as often as he could to see me. He would drive down after his classes on a Friday evening, and we would spend the entire weekend together. Then he would leave on a Sunday evening and likely only get a few hours sleep before his Monday morning classes. I worried about him sleeping enough when he did that, but he promised he was being careful.
One weekend in early December of 1941, Eric came home so he could attend a Christmas-themed carnival I'd helped organize. I had begun volunteering at the Church and the children of the congregation were going to perform a little play I directed. Eric planned to stay the night and miss his Monday classes so he could be there.
The children did a wonderful job, even when they fudged on their lines a bit, which only made it more adorable. As I watched them I found myself thinking about the children Eric and I could have in the future, and not going to college didn't seem so bad. I had always wanted a family too, and if it really came down to a choice between college and children, then I would choose having a family.
I had just finished talking to one of the parents when Eric put his arm around me and pulled me close to his body. He was looking up at the stage where the minister was standing at the microphone, and they both looked worried.
"Eric? What is it?" I asked.
He didn't answer because the minister did for him. Pearl Harbor had been attacked by Japan. I gasped and my eyes instantly welled with tears. Eric and I had talked about the war before, of course, and I knew exactly what this meant. Not only had many American's likely lost their lives, now Eric was going to put himself in that line of fire as well.
"No, Eric," I said when he looked at me.
"I have to," he replied, and as he hugged me to his chest I let my tears fall.
"If everyone could please just go to their homes and stay close to their radios, we'll have a town meeting tomorrow morning at eight. Nobody panic; just spend tonight with your loved ones. I'm sure we'll know more tomorrow."
Eric handed me my handkerchief from my purse, and after wiping my eyes, I helped get all the children back to their parents. He went to get my coat while I did that, and when everyone was accounted for he took me home. When we got there, Eric turned on the radio while I went to check on Gran. She was already asleep, so I went back to the living room to sit with Eric. I cried as we listened to the reports, and Eric's arm wrapped around my shoulders offered little comfort. So many lost their lives, and so many more would too.
Eric stayed until I calmed down before he went back to his aunt's house. He came to get me the next morning and we went to the town meeting together. After, I went home and Eric stayed for the recruitment meeting. I saw Jason about to go in as I left and stopped him.
"When did you get back?" I asked when he hugged me.
"Just now. How's Gran?"
"I told her what happened this morning and she's worried. Come home after the meeting, okay? Eric's in there too."
"I'll be there, I promise."
I went home to start making lunch, and while I did Gran sat in the kitchen with me.
"Sweetheart, sit down for a minute," she said. I did, and she took my hand. "I know you're afraid for Eric and Jason, but now is the time to prove how strong you are. You have to support them. They can't go off to war and be worried about you or me. It will be hard, but you have to do it."
"I know," I said, trying to hold back my tears. "I'll do my best, I will, I just can't help feeling like I'm watching them go off to their deaths. I love them so much."
"Trust that they will do their best to live and come back."
"I'll try."
Eric and Jason came home just as I finished making lunch, and as we all ate they explained what they had volunteered for. When they got to the part about jumping out of airplanes I left the room so they wouldn't see me cry. Eric followed me to my bedroom and sat next to me silently, waiting for me to say something. I had been doing an okay job of holding it all in, and then he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
A harsh breath rushed from my lungs, my eyes clenched shut, and then I was sobbing, my body shaking with the force of it. I rested my head on Eric's chest when he wrapped his other arm around me and began rocking back and forth.
"Don't die," I sobbed. "Please don't die."
I was ashamed of myself for my outburst, and tried to push Eric away, but he only held me tighter.
"I'll do my very best," he whispered.
Once I had calmed down enough to wipe away my tears and blow my nose, I took a deep breath and apologized.
"There's nothing to be sorry for," Eric said. "I don't want to leave you, but I have to. I know you understand why, and I know that you know I will do whatever it takes to come back to you."
I nodded and leaned into his hand, which was gently cradling my cheek.
"You said they would be elite, right?" I asked, and he nodded. "So you may be going over there, but you'll be surrounded by the best-trained men in the military. You're smart. Jason is smart. You'll be fine."
Eric smiled, and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I understood then what Gran had meant about being strong. The last thing Eric needed was to think of me breaking down while he was trying to fight for his life. I needed to be strong for him, and I would be.
Because Eric enlisted, he had to drop out of school. He moved back to Bon Temps to live with his aunt, and we spent every moment we could together before he had to leave for training. We went on a lot of walks and talked about our future. I knew he was giving us things to think about during the tough times ahead, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Hoping for a future that might never happen seemed silly and fruitless.
The night before Eric was to leave for Georgia for basic training, he came over for dinner. I made his favorite meal, and baked a loaf of banana bread for dessert. I tried not to let it feel like a goodbye dinner, but it did regardless. Gran went to bed shortly after dinner, and Jason left to go have a drink with some old high school friends, leaving Eric and I in the living room together.
"Are you okay?" he asked me, taking my hand in his.
"I'm fine. You're just going to train, it's not like you're headed straight over there. Don't worry about me. You need to focus one hundred percent on your training so you'll be the best there is," I said, and smiled reassuringly. I'd been working on keeping it together, and was proud of myself for managing it.
"Good," he said, and stood up. I watched him pace back and forth for a moment, and then he dropped to one knee in front of me. "I fell in love with you in a matter of minutes, and that love has only become deeper. I want everything with you, a marriage, a life, children, grandchildren, growing old… You're there every time I think of the future. I don't have one without you."
He paused, pulled a ring from his pocket, and held it out between us.
"I was going to wait until I graduated to ask you so that we didn't have a long engagement, but it seems wrong to wait now. Sookie Stackhouse, will you wait for me? Will you be my wife when I return?"
"Yes," I said immediately, because there could never be another answer. "I will wait for you, and when you get back I will marry you."
Tears welled and spilled from my eyes when he slipped the ring onto my finger, and kissed me. We had talked about marriage since our last year of high school, so I always knew this moment would come, but I never expected it to be tinged with such sadness. Eric got back onto the couch with me and kept his arm around me.
"Okay?" he asked.
"I'm happy, and afraid," I admitted
"I'm afraid too. We all are. I'll tell you one thing, Sookie. I'm going to go over there, and I'm going to serve my country. I'm going to protect you in the process. Then I'm going to come back and marry you. We'll be happy, we'll have a family, and all of this will be worth it. I promise."
I did my best to believe him, because that was the only option I had, and he'd never let me down before.
The next day I said goodbye to my brother and my fiancé. I wore red, Eric's favorite color on me, and waved until I could no longer see them. When they were out of sight, I felt at a loss, and all I could do was wait for their first letters to come.
Nearly two years later, after a handful of visits when they were on leave, I got a letter from both Eric and Jason explaining that they were shipping off to England for the final stages of their training. This was it, what I'd been waiting for. I wouldn't see them again unless the war ended or they were injured badly enough to be sent home. There was a slight chance they would get leave and come home for a couple of days, but I would be a fool to hope for it.
I tried to think of the letter Eric had sent me where he described jumping out of an airplane. He made it sound like a moving experience, something I wished I could try. Thinking of it that way kept me calm. The first time I received a letter from Eric I went out and bought a stock of stationary. We wrote as often as we could, and in my very first letter to him I sent my red hair ribbon. He always smiled when he saw me in it, and since I couldn't send myself in a red dress, it was the next best thing.
On June 6, 1944, my brother, and my fiancé were part of the Allied invasion of Normandy. I found out about it a day after and worried myself crazy until I got a letter from Eric nearly a month later. It was dated three days after the invasion. He said that he couldn't divulge much, but promised that he and Jason were both well, and together. He was unsure of how often he would be able to send letters, so he would write as often as he could and send them when he got the chance.
The worst part of getting letters was seeing the date on them. It was a relief to know that he was alive and well when it was written, but when more than a month passed until I received it I couldn't be sure if he was still okay. Jason wrote to me too, but not as much as Eric, so Eric would often include little messages from Jason in his letters.
In September we found out about another operation after the fact. It had failed, and it was reported that many paratroopers lost their lives. The night I read about it I cried myself to sleep. I kept the date of the operation in my mind, and when I got Eric's next letter the first thing I did was compare dates. It was written two weeks later, and I nearly fainted from relief.
The new year started off with a visit from a military chaplain, and as soon as I saw him I knew what he'd come to tell me. My brother was gone. They confirmed it verbally, and in a letter telling me that Jason died with honor, fighting for his country. I had to tell Gran after they left, and as soon as she was okay I drove over to Eric's aunt's house to make sure she didn't get a similar visit. It was there that I broke down in tears. His aunt let me go up to his room and take a nap in his bed. I was sad when I breathed in the scent of his pillows, hoping they would retain some of his smell, but had actually become as stale as the room. It was a surprising comfort to sleep on them though, and for the first time in what felt like years I got a peaceful, restful sleep.
Two days later I took Gran's breakfast into her bedroom since she hadn't been well enough to get out of bed, and found that she wasn't breathing. I got the doctor there as quickly as possible, but I knew she was gone when I touched her skin. She was already cold. The people I loved were dying, and I couldn't help but wonder when I would get the news that Eric was gone as well.
The GI money I received from Jason paid for the funeral, and I was able to put a large chunk of it away in the bank. It eased the financial strain, but did nothing for the deep depression and devastation I was feeling. I continued to write and send letters to Eric, hoping that it would be a comfort to him to read many at once if he wasn't able to receive any wherever he was at.
A week after the funeral in which I buried my last blood relatives, I finally got the nerve to look at Jason's personal effects. There was a letter included for Gran and I, and I opened it slowly.
Dear Gran and Sookie,
I'm writing this letter for you to read just in case something happens to me. I'm not saying it will, but I've seen a lot of men meet an untimely end over here, and I wanted to make sure I got to tell you both that I love you one last time.
Gran, you raised us so good, and Sookie and I are who we are because of you. You tanned my backside on more than one good occasion, and while I may have been a brat about it then, I know now that it turned me into a better person. There's some spoiled guys over here that could use a whipping or ten from you.
Sookie, you're the best sister a guy could ask for. You kept me in line, and didn't hesitate to tell me when I was being an idiot. All I want is for you to be happy, so when Eric gets back, you marry him. I've always liked the guy and thought he was a good match for you, but being out here with him, fighting side by side has shown me another side of him. I know I've said I don't believe in things like soul mates and true love, but that's what Eric is for you. I can tell how much it bothers him to be away from you, and he's always looking at your picture and that hair ribbon you sent him. The guys razz him about it, but he's not bothered by it. He loves you, and he will make you happy. So even though I won't be there to see it, get married and give me a bunch of nieces and nephews. Tell them about me, will you? Make up some big war hero story that they'll pass down for generations.
I love you both, and I hope you never have to read this letter. If you are, then I'm sorry. I did my best, and died with honor. That's all I can ask for.
Jason
I folded the letter back up and clutched it to my chest when I finished. I felt utterly alone.
By the time I got Eric's next letter, things were starting to hurt less. The whole town had really come together for each other, and there was an amazing amount of support for all families who had loved ones overseas. I had begun working at the school when one teacher's husband was killed. She said she only needed a bit of time off, but in just a few weeks she was packing up her things and moving upstate to be with her family. The school board voted that I be her temporary replacement, and they were hoping that if I did well they could hire me officially after I got a certain amount of college credits. In light of that, I began taking classes at the local college, but didn't mention it to Eric in my letters. I told him about working at the school, but not college. I didn't want him to think things were changing drastically.
Working provided me with an easy distraction from worrying about Eric, but when I was alone at night the thoughts really hit me. When they did, I would re-read the promises in his letters, promises that he would come home and marry me, that we would have a family, and that I would never be alone again. As another distraction I took up knitting, and within a month I had made Eric some cranberry red sweaters for winter. That helped more than anything. They were a part of the future I could physically hold onto, and I couldn't do that with promises, no matter how much I believed in them.
In May, the news came that Hitler was dead, and May 8th was declared Victory in Europe Day after the Nazi authorities surrendered. I was beyond relieved when I heard the news, but I wouldn't be happy until Eric was back and in my arms.
One afternoon, I had just begun fixing myself supper when I heard a car pull into the drive. I went out onto the porch and froze when I saw that it was Eric's aunt. My heart started beating faster when I saw that she wasn't smiling.
"Sookie," she said, taking my hands in hers after she came up the stairs.
"Just tell me," I whispered, clenching my eyes shut.
"Eric is fine," she said, and my eyes opened again as I let out a deep breath. "Sookie, he's home."
"What? What do you mean he's home? He would have come here first, I know him, and he wouldn't have sent you to tell me," I rambled rudely, my panic growing. "Where is he? Why doesn't he want to see me?"
"Come sit down," she said, leading me to the porch swing. I sat next to her, and she kept holding one of my hands. "Eric made it back to America a couple of days ago. It seems he had enough points to come home. He took a train to Shreveport and hailed a cab. The cab was hit by a truck, and Eric hit is head hard in the accident."
I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand as tears began to fall from my eyes.
"Is he okay?" I asked.
"Physically, yes. He has some bruises and aches, but that's all. It's what happened when he hit his head that's the worst of it. The doctor told me just before I came here to see you. He has amnesia. Eric doesn't remember who he is. He didn't know the year, his name, my name, he wasn't even aware there's a war."
"He doesn't remember me," I said.
"No, he doesn't," she said. "The doctor said his memories could come back in time, but it's best for him to just get a lot of rest for a couple of days."
"So I can't see him," I said, rather than asked.
"Not yet, but soon we'll all have dinner together provided that Eric is okay with it."
"Of course," I said numbly.
I don't recall much else about her visit, but I do vividly remember slipping my engagement ring off my finger and handing it to her. The action broke my heart, but it was necessary. I couldn't hold him to something like marriage when he didn't even remember me. I continued to sit there long after she left, thinking, and at times the tears would come, and then they would stop, but I sat unmoving.
The news was doing one heck of a number on my emotions. Eric and I had just spent nearly four years apart. Four years in which I lived in a near-constant state of worry, two of them because I hoped that he was still alive as I read letters written weeks before I got them. The moment he came home was supposed to be a happy event, and I'd spent a lot of time imagining it. He was supposed to surprise me by showing up at my house, and I would run into his arms and kiss him, and we would never spend another moment apart.
Only he was home, and his letter either got lost in the mail or he really was intending to surprise me, but the worst part was just that, knowing he was home. The love of my life was literally minutes from me, and I couldn't see him because he had no idea who I was.
I finally went inside when I had to use the bathroom, and realized that I'd been sitting there for nearly three hours. No longer hungry, I put away the things I had gotten out for supper and got ready for bed instead. As I lay there, trying to fall asleep, I found that I couldn't figure out how to feel. I was happy that Eric was back and safe, but to be unable to see him was killing me. It wasn't how it was supposed to be.
Eric's aunt came over again a few days later and said that Eric was ready to meet me.
"He wants to meet me?"
"Yes. He didn't at first because he thought it would be too hurtful for you, but now he thinks it will be good for you to see that he's okay."
I smiled. It was just like Eric to do what he thought was best for others, especially me.
"When can we meet?" I asked.
"Can you come over for dinner tonight?"
"Yes, I would love to."
"Great, we'll see you tonight."
She squeezed my hand and gave me a reassuring smile before she left. I immediately went to my closet to find something to wear. As soon as I saw a flash of red, I knew it was what I should wear. I pulled out the dress and went to the bathroom to shower. I had six hours before I would get to see Eric, and I wanted to look perfect.
I was a nervous wreck when I parked in front of the house, and it took me a minute to calm down. Knowing that I was about to see Eric again was making my heart race. When I finally got the nerve to walk up to the door and knock I was relieved to have his aunt open it. It was like I was gradually working up to seeing him.
"Sookie, come in!" she said with a big smile.
"I brought dessert, I hope that's okay. It's banana bread. He used to love it," I said, handing the wrapped loaf to her.
"That was very sweet of you," she said, and nodded towards the living room.
I took a deep breath and rounded the corner, stopping dead in my tracks when I saw him. He had aged since I saw him last, not only in appearance, but in his eyes, and even though he couldn't remember it, I knew that the war had effected him. He was dressed up in his church clothes, which made me happy since I knew he had dressed up for me.
Suddenly, it hit me. I was staring at Eric. He was home, and he was in one piece. Before I could stop myself I was launching into his arms and hugging him tightly as I cried into his chest. After a moment I realized what I had done and pulled away quickly.
"I'm so sorry. I know this must be very confusing and overwhelming for you, but I haven't seen you in so long, and it's such a relief to see that you really are okay," I said, unable to tear my eyes from his.
"It's okay," he said quietly, and my eyes closed at the sound of his voice. I hadn't realized how much I missed hearing him.
His aunt came into the room and announced that dinner was ready. We all sat down at the table and said a prayer before filling our plates. Eric and I kept staring at each other.
"Sookie, would you happen to have any letters from me, or anything you think might help me remember?" he asked after we finished dessert.
"I have all of your letters, and you're free to look at them whenever you'd like."
We made plans for him to come to my house for lunch the next day after I got back from church. It was so strange having him in the house with me again, especially because my Eric would have been commenting on how strange it was without Gran there. When we finished eating, I took him into the living room and pulled a stack of letters from the desk.
"They're in order, so you can start at the beginning," I said as I handed him the letters. "I'll just let you read, and if you need me I'll be in the kitchen."
I had to stop myself from reaching out and touching his face or rubbing his arm. Those were things I would have done before the accident, but after, they were just too intimate. I cleaned up from lunch as I waited, but when that was done all I could do was sit at the table and pray that something would make him remember.
When he finally came into the kitchen I stood up quickly and waited. He shook his head, and my heart sunk as I dropped my head. I had to do something. I had to help him remember.
"I want to help you remember," I said. "Would you consider spending some time with me? Maybe I could tell you about us?"
"I don't know," he said. "I jut mean … I don't want you to get your hopes up and be disappointed constantly. Maybe … maybe it's better if you just moved on."
His words were like a knife in my heart.
"You're still young, and you're so beautiful. You could still find a good husband. I can't be that for you now."
"Please leave," I said, unable to look at him.
"Sookie…"
"No," I said, holding one hand up so he would stop. "You and I were high school sweethearts. You went to college while I stayed home to take care of my sick grandmother, but you came back as often as possible to be with me. We were together when we found out about Pearl Harbor, and I supported you when you decided to enlist. You asked me to marry you before you left, and in every single letter you promised me it would all be worth it. I understand that none of this is your fault, that you didn't ask to lose your memories, but you, standing here, telling me to give up and move on … you're breaking my heart."
He stood there, obviously at a loss for words, his regret at hurting me written all over his face.
"Please," I begged as I began to sob. "Please go."
He was out the door in a matter of seconds.
For more than two months I didn't see Eric. Every now and then I'd spot him walking in town or in a shop, but I did my best to avoid him. His aunt talked to me often and informed me that she would keep trying to get him to see me again, but I was starting to think that maybe he was right. It was too heartbreaking for me to be near him if he couldn't remember. It was also heartbreaking to be away from him, but I couldn't make him want to be around me.
One day I happened to hear a man outside Merlotte's asking someone if they could point him in the direction of Eric Northman's house. The person he'd asked didn't know, so I introduced myself.
"Excuse me," I said. "I'm Sookie Stackhouse. You said you're looking for Eric Northman?"
His eyes grew wide when he saw me, and he smiled when I said my name.
"You're Jason's sister?"
"Yes, you knew him?"
"Yes. I'm sorry, I haven't said my name yet. I'm Bill Compton. I served with Jason and Eric in the war."
"It's an honor to meet you," I said, offering my hand for him to shake, which he did.
"Actually, it's an honor to meet you. Jason talked about you often, and Eric did as well. I recognized you from the picture he had. Have you two married yet?"
"That's a bit of a story. It's lunchtime, would you like to have lunch with me here? I could fill you in, and you could tell me if my brother behaved over there."
"I would love to," he smiled, but was obviously confused. He held the door of the diner open for me and we quickly found a booth. After ordering our drinks and food, he asked why Eric hadn't made me Mrs. Northman yet.
"When Eric got back there was an accident," I began, and noticed Mr. Compton stiffen. "He's fine," I assured him. "The cab he was in got hit by another vehicle and Eric hit his head. He has amnesia. He didn't remember his name, the date, the war, his aunt, or me. I ended the engagement when I found out."
"Hasn't he seen you since then? I don't mean to be inappropriate, but Eric loves you a great deal. I would think his memories would come back if he saw you."
"That's very sweet of you to say, but it didn't happen. We met twice, and he read all the letters he sent me, but it didn't work. We haven't spoken since then."
"He'll end up with you somehow. I'm not a big believer in all that stuff, but I saw how devoted and respectful he was of you. You'll get your happy ending."
I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't allow myself that kind of hope after everything. We had our lunch while he told me stories about Jason that gave me closure regarding his untimely death. Mr. Compton took care of the bill, and as we got up and hugged goodbye I spotted Eric a couple of booths down. Mr. Compton turned to leave and when he saw Eric he looked back at me as if to ask if he should talk to him. I shook my head, knowing it would only upset Eric. Mr. Compton nodded at me, then Eric, and then he left.
I picked up my purse and steeled myself to walk past Eric, but as I did he reached out and touched my arm. It was the first physical contact we'd had since I hugged him that night months ago, and I felt something like a static shock shoot up my arm.
"Eric, please don't do this," I whispered so I wouldn't draw attention to us. "It's too painful."
"Please sit with me," he said. "I need to talk to you."
Mr. Compton's words ran through my head, and with some reluctance, I sat down. The waitress came to get Eric's order, and then he started talking.
"I'm ready to hear about us, if you're still willing to tell me. I want to remember what we had, what I suspect we could still have. My brain may not remember you anymore, but I'm calmer when I'm near you, and I get the sense that you are just where I'm supposed to be. Even if I don't end up remembering, I want to know you again."
"Okay," I said immediately.
For the next few weeks Eric and I spent as much time together as we could. I told him the story of how we met, and of our courtship. I showed him pictures of the two of us at school events, and through the years. The pictures were harder for him than the stories because he could actually see himself, yet didn't have any memories of any of it.
I would become frustrated at times, but did my best to hide it. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't remember, and I knew not to take it out on him. As time went on I began to notice that Eric almost always had a headache, and I knew he was putting himself under too much stress. So on Christmas Eve, when Eric came over to tell me he was leaving, I was prepared, and I did my best to let him go without making him feel guilty.
"I can't keep hurting the ones that love me, and there's so much pressure for me to remember. There's too much familiarity here with no memories to match it. I'm leaving tonight, and I'm not sure where I'll go, but you deserve to know that I'm going and why. You've been nothing but supportive of me this whole time, and I can't thank you enough for it, but I have to go."
Regardless of how much I thought I had prepared myself, my heart still broke when he told me. I understood though, and I had to let him go. It was time to accept that I wouldn't get my happy ending, at least not with Eric.
As calmly as I could, I stood and walked him to the door, giving him one last hug while I still could.
"I do love you still, Eric. I always will," I whispered. I had to tell him once more. Eric left then, and I forced myself not to cry. I had shed too many tears over it, and I wouldn't allow myself to do it anymore.
It was getting late, and I had to be up in the morning to help deliver presents to unfortunate children with my church, so I started getting ready for bed. I took my hair down and washed my face, and when I looked at myself in the mirror I smiled to prove that I still could.
"Everything is going to be alright," I said. I had to believe it.
After putting on my nightgown I went to the kitchen to wash the dishes I'd used that day. When I was done cleaning up I sat in the living room to read more of my book before bed, and was surprised to see headlights come up the drive. I went to my room to get my robe, and was still tying it when I answered the door.
"Eric, what on earth…" I began when I saw him on the other side of the door, but stopped when I looked into his eyes. There was a look in them, something I hadn't seen since before he left for the war. "Oh my stars."
He swiftly closed the space between us and held me against him as he kissed me with more passion than ever before. When I look back on it, I feel like we were Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck until we broke apart to breathe.
"Everything?" I asked.
"Everything," he said, and then he got down on one knee and pulled out the same ring I had taken off just a few months earlier. My eyes filled with tears as he asked me the question I wasn't sure I'd ever hear again.
"Susannah Adele Stackhouse, will you marry me?"
I dropped my left hand, which had been covering my mouth and held it out for him to take.
"Yes, Eric. I will marry you."
He smiled that beautiful, familiar, Eric smile, and slid the ring onto my finger before kissing it and standing to kiss me again, and again, and again until the cold air finally got to us. I invited him in and made us some hot tea, and when I brought it to him in the living room I realized what state of dress I was in. Eric had never seen me like that.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I'm in my nightgown," I said quietly and tried to wrap my robe around myself more.
Eric only grinned and scooted closer to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him as he nuzzled my neck.
"I'm going to see you in a nightgown and hopefully much less every night for the rest of our lives. There's no point in being embarrassed," he whispered in my ear. I had always been rather demure when it came to us being intimate because it wasn't proper and Gran hadn't raised me that way, but Eric and I had been apart way too long. I relaxed and allowed him to hold me as I enjoyed the feeling of his body against mine. The war had been good for him physically, and I could feel it.
"How?" I asked after a few moments.
"Your hair ribbon. I finally saw it, and everything came back," he said.
I smiled. It all came down to that silly hair ribbon.
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?" I asked.
"From the war?" he asked, and I nodded against his chest. "I wanted to surprise you. With what happened, I don't think it would have made a difference though."
"No, it wouldn't," I agreed. He was certainly right about that.
"What did Bill have to say to you?" he asked, and I pulled away so I could look at him. "In the diner? When I didn't remember, I thought you were seeing him, but now I know who he is."
I explained how I had met Bill and what he had to tell me, and then told him that I was prepared for what he did earlier.
"I'm sorry about that," he said.
"No, it's okay. I understand why you did it," I said as he pulled me back into his arms.
"Did you get Bill's address? I'd like to send him a letter."
"Yes, I have it," I said. "I told him I'd contact him if you ever got your memories back."
He gave me a little squeeze in response, and then we just sat there in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's presence. I was so happy and content I wasn't sure what to do with myself.
"Sookie?" he asked.
"Hmm?"
"Can I kiss you?" he asked.
I immediately understood his meaning, and I was surprised that I only had a brief moment of uneasiness before I decided that I was okay with it. When I turned and looked him in the eyes, I knew I made the right decision. I got up and silently went to the front door to lock it while Eric turned off the lights, and after I put our teacups in the kitchen I took his hand and led him to our bedroom.
"Eric Northman, don't you dare turn on that light," I said when he went for the lamp.
"Sookie…" he complained.
"No. We have years ahead of us for that, but I'm not comfortable with it yet."
He relented at that, and pulled me close again so he could kiss me. He let me undress him before he undressed me so that I would be less nervous, but as soon as he was naked just the opposite happened. I loved him, and I was sure this was the right thing, but being naked with a man for the first time was a nerve-wracking experience.
He gently led me to the bed and was careful about not touching me until I allowed it, but it seemed so ridiculous to me to finally be next to him after so long and not enjoy it, so I closed the distance between us, letting my arm drape over his side and feel the muscles of his back. He was so warm. His hands began to run over my skin, learning every curve in a new way, and I shivered under his touch.
"Are you cold?" he asked.
"No. Are you?"
"No. You're very warm, and this isn't Bastogne," he said.
I frowned and stroked his cheek with my thumb.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that."
"Don't be. It doesn't matter because I'm here now, with you, and I'm never letting you go again."
I kissed him, and then he proved to me that he wouldn't be letting me go. We made love for the first time, and even though it was a bit disappointing from my end it wasn't through any lack of effort on Eric's part, and I knew I would be a very satisfied woman in the years to come.
After, we lay in each other's arms, as relaxed as we could be, and I'd never felt happier or more at home in my life.
"I love you so much, Eric," I said.
"I love you too," he replied, pulling me even closer, and then we drifted off to sleep.
The next morning I woke up with someone for the first time, and I was naked, so it was definitely disorienting. I sat up quickly, causing the blanket to fall and expose my breasts to Eric, who was unabashedly staring at them. I gasped and quickly covered myself.
Eric chuckled. "After what we did last night, you're covering up?"
My eyes began to water. My Eric was really back. He really came to me and proposed again, and we made love for the first time.
"Oh, no honey," he said, sitting up and tucking my hair behind my ears. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. It wasn't wrong; we're getting married. If I hadn't lost my memory, we'd already be married."
"It really happened? It wasn't a dream? My Eric is back?" I asked as I cried earnestly.
"Yes, it was real. I remember everything. Look at your hand," he said, and I looked down at my left hand, smiling at the engagement ring he'd given me twice now.
"You kept your promise," I said.
"Yes, I did. Merry Christmas, Sookie," he said, pulling me to him and running his fingers through my hair.
Then he kissed me, and I forgot all about my morning obligations. Everything else could wait for a change.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it :)