This is my first story for GRIMM (one of my fav shows on tv). I've read some wonderful ones over the last couple of weeks and they made me want to write something (also i'm pretty anxious to see how next season begins). so here goes.

send me your feedback. let me know if you like it and if i should continue. thanks

To say she was confident in her plan would be a lie. There wasn't even a plan, not really. It felt more like a compulsion, something she had to do. Otherwise she would go crazy waiting and wondering and hurting more than she realized. The only certain part of her plan was that she had to go. What if it was too late? What if she … what if Kelly… what if they … lost him?

Adalind messed up. At the time she didn't see any other choice. She tried to fix it by sending Diana with a warning. Had that been enough? Her heart raced as she got closer, each beat like shards of glass in her chest at the realization of what she might find.

She was going home; her's and Nick's and Kelly's. To be honest, being there with Nick was the first time in her life that she actually felt safe. Everyone in her life always had an ulterior motive, Adalind was groomed to serve a master and she played the dutiful role very well. Never feeling quite like she belonged to herself or having an idea of who she really was. Never realizing that it was impossible to feel safe in the company of people who only wanted what they could get from you. Until Nick.

Nick Burkhardt, a man she hated before she even knew anything about him. As Wesen you are groomed to hate Grimms, to fear them more than anything else in this world. Her mother told her stories about their cruelty to her kind and like all good little Wesen children she learned to stay away from Grimms. It's funny how being a dutiful witch and servant, threw her right into the path of her worse nightmare. The thought didn't escape her that she could just run away. Take the kids and go far away from Sean and Conrad, all the people that wanted the old Adalind, the one that did as she was told. That would also mean being far away from Nick.

As Adalind got closer she couldn't help smiling as she thought about the first time she saw the place Nick had arranged for them; more military bunker than home. But their presence, being together as a family, albeit a surprising one, turned the cold concrete walls into something more than just a place to hide out. It still surprised her when she thought about all the measures Nick took to ensure their safety. He should have hated the sight of Adalind, maybe for a while he did, but he protected her and their son. He asked nothing of her but to take care of Kelly. Their little boy, who was currently sitting in his car seat, eyes wide open when Adalind glanced at him through the rear view mirror.

Adalind wasn't sure what the right thing was anymore. She'd been so confident before Nick took her powers; before he kissed her and she bite him, taking a part of him inside her. Until that moment she was sure of who she was, confident in the decisions that she made. Now, she was a mess and hurting more than she wanted to let on to the two children sitting in the car.

They caused a lot of changes in each other's lives. She tried to hurt Nick and he got her back by taking her powers. That drove her to get pregnant with the child of a royal and use said child as a bargaining tool to get her powers back. Adalind had been so proud of her plan, confident it its ability to get her what she wanted. Then she gave birth to Diana and she realized just how selfish she was; just like her mother. Maybe Nick had been correct in taking Diana away from her.

Adalind looked over at the little girl sitting in the passenger seat beside her; overwhelmed by a sudden fear that once again she had failed her children. Diana and Kelly deserved better than her. They deserved someone like Nick, who would always put them first and give his life to protect them. Nick would ever use them as a bargaining tool. He would never let Kelly feel any less than wanted, despite his unusual conception. Adalind could feel the shards dig deeper into her chest. It was all her fault. For a long time she hated Nick, wanted him dead, even tried to kill him a few times.

Everything changed when she seduced him while pretending to be Juliette. She was hell bent on revenge for him stealing Diana; focused on hurting the Grimm, just like every good Wesen teach their children to do. Adalind didn't plan on getting pregnant with Kelly. She hadn't thought about the possibility of that happening. With Diana that had been her goal; she wanted to get pregnant. But Kelly, was an accident, another consequence of the decisions that she made. She wanted to hurt Nick, to rob him of something that was important to him, just like he robbed her of her daughter. Adalind wanted him to suffer, to want something and realize it was out of his reach.

Kelly wasn't a consequence that she saw coming, but he gave her a second chance. In a way, it was like Nick replaced what he had taken from her. She wanted to stay as far away from him and everyone she knew. But fate had a sense of humor, so she found herself running right to him. Not an easy decision for a Wesen. Asking for a Grimm's helps, even if you were carrying his child, was like asking to be struck by lightning. Deep down, she knew she could count on him. In all their crazy interactions with each other there were two things that she figured out; Nick would do anything to protect the people he cared about and it was best to stay out of his way when he had to.

There was the temptation to break, to pull her kids to her chest and hold them tight as she let tears pour out of dehydrated eyes. In the craziness that was her life, Adalind Shade had forgotten how to be strong. With Nick it had been so easy to be vulnerable because she knew, no matter what, he would be there to save her. His arms were strong enough for both of them and they allowed her to let go. For the first time she could just be, without pressure from anyone or her guard up to shield her from those wanting to take advantage. Weakness felt good when she had Nick's strength to shield her.

Adalind thought she was being strong when she left him and joined Sean so that she could be with Diana. She thought that was the right thing to do. Now she wasn't sure about anything. Adalind couldn't trust her decisions; everything she did resulted in someone getting hurt. She wanted to have both her children in her life and she wanted Nick to be there beside her, but maybe she didn't deserve that. Not after all the bad things she had done.

Please let him be okay.

Their home hadn't been much, just provided the bare essential but there was nowhere else like it. It's the place where they rocked Kelly to sleep when he was fussy, where she learned to be a mother, where they learned to be parents. The place where Nick held her close to his side because she was scared, realizing afterwards that he wanted her there. It's where they made love for the first time and where she surprised both of them by saying 'I love you'.

"Mommy, do we have to be here? Daddy will be mad." Adalind whipped around to face Diana but stopped harsh words from leaving her lips. She didn't care what Sean wanted. He could go to hell.

"It's ok Diana. It will be okay." She wanted to exit the car and make the journey through the garage and up the lift, she still had the keys. But, what if this was another bad Adalind decision? Especially being unsure of what she would see and how Conrad would react to her being there. Unconsciously she placed her hand at her neck where it still hurt from Conrad choking the words from her lips. If Nick dies it will be her fault and she would be left with explaining to a child that his father had been killed because she wanted too much. If Nick died would she be able to protect Kelly?

"Mommy, it's ok. The bad man won't hurt you anymore." Adalind turned towards her daughter, recognizing a look that made Adalind worry. What had she done?

"Diana, is there something you need to tell me?" There was a slight lump in her throat as she braced herself for what Diana was about to tell her. The vision of Rachel strangled by her bedsheets flashed before Adalind's eyes and she became acutely aware of just how little control she had over this situation.

"He is gone now. He won't hurt you anymore." Diana's blue eyes, so much like her own, carried a gleam of satisfaction mixed in with the innocence of a little girl. It's the same look she had after she killed Rachel. Adalind knew Diana didn't understand what she was doing; she acted based on how she felt. It wasn't her fault. It was another blame that could be placed at Adalind's feet.

She had so much to atone for; she just hoped Nick's life wasn't a part of that.

"Diana, are you talking about Conrad? Did you hurt him?"

"He hurt mommy."

In the next few second Adalind noticed just how quiet it was. There were no movements coming from the building, no sounds of a war ragging. Just silence that caused her heart to fill with hope that maybe, just maybe, Nick had survived. She needed to let Diana know that it was not okay to hurt people simply because we didn't like them. It was an opportunity to teach her a lesson. But the silence distracted her, before being broken by an exited Kelly who seemed to recognize exactly where he was.

That place was Kelly's home. The babbling sounds from the back seat got louder as Kelly kicked his legs in anticipation of being released from his car seat or maybe it was the thought of seeing his dad again. Kelly knew things had changed. He was old enough to realize that the faces around him were different. He had been fussy since they moved into that house with Sean and Black Claw and Adalind knew it wasn't simply due to an interruption in his routine. He missed his dad. They missed the security of knowing he would be home at the end of the day.

She reached towards the back and touched his feet but it only spurred him on. His face was getting red and Adalind knew what would follow. The first decibel of his cry broke her heart. She felt the tightening in her chest and the weight of an elephant pressing against her rib cage. Don't break; she tried to tell herself.

Diana looked at her with curious eyes while Kelly's cries intensified.

She had to do something.

"It's okay Kelly." She finally cooed when she got herself under control. Adalind opened her door and exited the vehicle. It was dark out but the building lights were enough for her to see the path to the garage.

Five minutes later she had Kelly on her right hip and a worried Diana holding her hand as the three walked towards the door.

It was still quiet when she made it inside the garage. Nick's car was there and so was Monroe's, causing Adalind to breathe a sigh of relief at the thought that Nick had not been alone. She tried to convince herself that the silence was a good thing; maybe Conrad hadn't showed up. Maybe Nick had been able to get away, so there was no point in them sticking around. She remembered Diana's words from in the car. Maybe Diana had saved Nick's life. Maybe she wouldn't have to worry about Conrad anymore. Maybe.

The problem with maybe was that it provided no real answers.

Kelly kicked against her side as the lift moved upwards; distracting his mom from the anxious turmoil pushing her to turn back.

"Mommy, how long will we be here?" She looked down at her daughter and found that she could offer no answer to that question. Adalind had no clue what she was about to walk into.

"I don't know. Mommy just needs to…" Make sure that the man she loved was still alive. "You love Kelly don't you?" Diana leaned forward to look at Kelly.

"Yes." Adalind ignored the lack of conviction. They still needed time to be a family.

"Well, the bad man wanted to hurt Kelly's daddy." the lift came to a stop with a slight jolt. Adalind released Diana's hand to pull the gate upwards. She'd done this many times carrying Kelly, diaper bag and her briefcase. "We are just making sure he is okay."

"And then we go home?" They were home.

"We will see, I have to … oh my god."

There were bodies everywhere. She pulled Kelly tighter into her side and wrapped an arm around Diana's shoulder. She should take the kids back down and run away now before it was too late, but she needed to know. Adalind held on to her children tight as her knees felt weak. Kelly started kicking his legs, agitated with the restriction and lack of forward movement. His cries died once she got him out of the car but they started again; this time she was grateful for them because they masked the whimper escaping her lips.

It was her fault. It was all her fault. She should have told Nick about the phone call, that she was going to meet Conrad. She shouldn't have gone there on her own. She knew she wasn't strong enough to resist their schemes, not when it involved her children. She should have trusted Nick to find a way but she had already lost so much time with Diana.

What if Nick was dead?

It would be because of her.

Adalind wanted to move but she couldn't. Kelly's cries grew louder against her ear and she wanted to sooth him, to tell him everything would be okay, but she couldn't.

"Nick!" The name echoed across the room, putting a stop to Kelly's crying as his little head searched the room for his dad.

"Nick!" The second time she realized the sound was coming from her. She was calling his name, because she had to. There was nothing else she could do as she stood anchored in the doorway of the lift.

"Nick!" There was no hiding the tears that laced each letter. Please let him be okay. She tried to will it into truth as she looked at the chaos of their home. Adalind started to scan the bodies. Looking for something familiar, a shirt, hair color, anything that would indicate that Nick was among the dead. Her eyes landed on a familiar figure but didn't have time to linger.

"Adalind!" The voice was frantic and slightly out of breath but she would recognize it anywhere. The door to the tunnel slammed against the wall and for the first she realized it had been partially open. His face followed the sound and Adalind was sure her knees would give out. They wobbled, but she managed to stay upright.

"Oh my god, Nick." Instinctively she kissed Kelly's forehead, more grateful than she's ever felt in her life.

"Adalind." He looked battered and bruised and immediately there was the notable stain of blood on the front of his shirt as his entire body emerged from the wall. His eyes were wide with surprise and relief and so many other things that Adalind's brain didn't care to name. Nick was alive. That's all that mattered.

"Are you okay?" Brows furrowed at the thought that he might be hurt in anyway. Her eyes focused on the dark stain on his front shirt as he stepped over dead bodies to get to them.

"Adalind. Kelly." He was almost there. Nick moved with a purpose as he navigated the fallen Black Claw members. She watched for any signs that he was hurt, that he was in pain and was rewarded when she found none. He moved so fast that it was a surprise when he stood in front of them.

The moment was heavy with disbelief and guilt and regret. Nothing about their relationship had been easy. Wesen and Grimms were not meant to be friends, let alone in a relationship and raising a family. It was against everything that came naturally to them.

Nick reached out his hand with a delicacy that betrayed the brutality around them. There was a feathery tough against her cheek and a moment of absolute certainty that she was real, that she was standing in front of him and not just conjured up by his grief. His hand remained against the cheek as he leaned his forehead against Kelly's and breathed him in.

Kelly wiggled and leaned into his dad, anxious to be held and cuddled against him. Nick obliged. He pulled Kelly to his body and Adalind let go of her son for the first time since she went with Black Claw.

"Kelly. Kelly. I missed you so much buddy." Nick held Kelly tight without protest from his son. They missed each other and Adalind couldn't help feeling guilty about the decision she had made. He swayed with Kelly in his arms, eyes locked on to Adalind with fear that she might disappear again. "Are you okay?"

It was impossible to answer around the lump in her throat so she nodded. The contact held as she willed him to hold her too. To love her despite the mistakes and understand that she was just doing what was best for her children.

Nick's hand went back to her cheek and he wiped at the wetness that was slowly being absorbed into her skin. Without saying a word, he leaned forward and placed a light kiss against her lips, giving her permission to expel the breath that she had been holding. "I'm so sorry Nick. I love you and I am … I didn't want … I tried to …"

"It's okay." And he kissed her lips again. As he touched his forehead to her own and continued to glide his thumb across her cheek, Adalind felt Diana's grip tighten on her hand.

"Nick."

"Hmm"

"There is someone I'd like you to meet." He raised his head from hers and looked down at the little girl standing protectively beside her.

"This is Diana."

To be continued. Maybe? :)