Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or any of the characters. Just borrowing :)
A/N: This is just another Jatefic about how "What Kate did" episode could have ended. Reviews would always be welcome :)
"Kate!" He called after her, but it was too late. She took off and once again left him standing alone in the jungle, feeling all confused. She was so damn good at it, Jack thought to himself.
He took a half rotten papaya fruit from the ground and threw it against a tree as hard as he possibly good. It gave him some strange satisfaction to see it smashing into thousand pieces. For a very brief moment he actually hoped he could have thrown the same fruit after Kate - not to hurt her, but just to show how frustrated he sometimes was with her.
Jack knew where Kate was heading, so he decided to return back to the beach. After all, he didn't want to see her next to Sawyer's bed side after what had just happened between them. He knew it would only hurt his feelings even more. Somewhere deep inside his heart he admitted to himself that he was jealous over her, but he didn't want to allow his brain to share the same information.
"So Jack, did you find her?" Charlie asked when he saw Jack coming his way.
"Who?" Jack replied absent-mindedly.
"Kate. I thought you were looking for her?"
"Oh… yes, I found her"
"Did something happen? You seem a little… far away?"
"It's nothing… just having a bad headache, that's all"
"You look a little pale indeed. Maybe you should lie down for a while?" Charlie suggested.
"Yeah… that's probably a good idea" Jack answered him with a weak smile.
"Hope you will feel better soon" Charlie managed to say before Jack disappeared in his tent.
Inside his tent, when Jack was sure nobody could see him, he finally let the heavy lump in his throat work its way out. All the frustration and anger in him turned into tears and the tears turned into silent sobs. He felt unsecure and hurt - like the teased little Jack at the school yard, when he couldn't defend himself or his friend. Just before he fell asleep, he made a decision. He wouldn't let Kate play with his feelings anymore. He had had enough of the cat and mouse game they had played since the plane crash.
Kate didn't want to return to the beach, so she volunteered to stay in the hatch to press the button. That way she could also check on Sawyer, who was slowly getting better. She sat on the couch, listening to music. She kept seeing puzzled Jack in front of her after the kiss they'd shared. His eyes were so full of questions that she got totally freaked out. She just had to run away. There was no other way. No matter how soothing and great their kiss had been, it was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. It was just too early. She could only hope that their friendship wasn't completely ruined.
"Anyone here?" A weak voice called. It was Sawyer.
Kate ran to him, being delighted to see him awake.
"Hey! Look who's up. How are you doing?" She asked softly.
"Am I dead? Because it sure feels like it" Sawyer answered his usual way.
Kate smiled at him. He would probably never give a proper answer to any question.
"Fortunately you are still very much alive. It was a close call, though".
"I'd rather be dead. There ain't many things to live for on this freaking island" he said.
"Well, I'm happy you are still with us. What would our lives be without your irritating comments on everything?" Kate said with a playful smile.
Sawyer had to let out a little laugh, even though it hurt his whole body. He felt almost flattered to have Kate by his side.
"Where is Jacko? Did he give up hope on me?"
"He was needed at the beach" Kate lied.
"I see. Well, who needs him anyway? I bet we'll do just fine without him" Sawyer commented.
"Yeah."
Kate stayed with Sawyer the whole night. Even when Locke came to change shifts with her, she was reluctant to leave. She wasn't ready to meet Jack, though at the same time she knew she couldn't hide from him forever.
"How is Sawyer doing?" Locke asked.
"He is getting better. He was awake for a while, but he is still quite weak. He has been sleeping for a couple of hours now", Kate replied looking to the bedroom.
"How about you? You look really tired. Did you catch any sleep last night?" Locke continued his questions.
"Not really, but I'm fine. I guess I just need some fresh air"
"It's beautiful weather outside. Go take a look" John insisted.
"Ok. I will come back later to check on Sawyer", Kate said and left.
The path to the beach could be twice as long, Kate thought to herself. She was desperately trying to think of what to say to Jack. How would he even react when he saw her? What would he say? What would she say?
She could see the beach in front of her. She was observing everyone for a while, hoping to find out Jack's whereabouts. She saw Hurley and Charlie sitting by the fire, Claire playing with her son and Jin catching fish. Jack was nowhere to be seen. She sighed and walked to Claire.
"Hi"
"Oh hi, Kate" Claire answered happily.
"Have you seen Jack?" Kate asked.
"Not recently. Charlie said he wasn't feeling well yesterday. Maybe he is still sleeping?"
"Ok. I'll check out his tent. Thanks"
"No problem."
On her way to Jack's tent, she could feel how her heart rate went up and how her mouth became all dry. She hoped Jack wasn't at home, because she still didn't know what to say to him. Hell, she didn't even know why she was going there in the first place. Yet there she was, probably looking like an idiot.
"Jack?" She silently asked. When she didn't get a reply, she carefully opened the canvas door. His tent was empty. She could see he had been there, though. There were fresh bananas on one corner.
"What are you doing here?" She heard Jack asking behind her. She turned around and met his cold eyes staring at her.
"I… I was looking for you" she mumbled.
"Well, you found me. Now what is it that you want?"
Kate was stunned by his coldness. She knew to expect something like that, but it still surprised her.
"I was hoping that we could talk… about yesterday and all…"
"Kate, I'm really sick with your lies. Today you say this and tomorrow that. I don't want that anymore. I have had enough."
Kate felt her eyes filling up with tears. She couldn't say anything, she had no words left. All she could do was to run away, again.
Jack felt a little pinch in his heart for being so rude to her, but on the other hand, she needed a lesson.
Kate ran as fast as she could. She wanted to find a place where she could be in piece and quiet. The last thing what she needed now was someone to tell her what to do. She passed Hurley and Charlie. They yelled something, but she didn't hear what they said. She didn't care. She had just ruined one of the only things she valued on this island, her friendship with Jack.
Jack watched her running away. He didn't feel too good about what he had just done. It actually sucked. He had never deliberately hurt anyone's feelings like that before. He wondered if Sawyer ever felt like he did at the moment. He was always so nasty to everyone, but he never seemed to be feeling too guilty about it. Maybe he could teach him a few tricks how to handle situations like this. Or maybe not. Would he really like to be like him? No. Never.
"Dude! What did you do to her?" Hurley asked looking Jack straight into eyes.
"Why?"
"Did you miss something? She was crying. Are you just going to stand there and do nothing?" Hurley continued, still staring at him.
"Hurley, I…"
"Jack, sorry for interrupting you, but shouldn't you say you are sorry or something? You are like friends, aren't you?"
Jack didn't know what to say to him. He knew Hurley had a point. It was just that going after Kate would ruin his plan to teach her a lesson.
"Yes, Hurley, we are friends. Just let me handle the situation my way, ok?" Jack finally said and left Hurley standing alone on the beach.
"Whatever dude. I just thought you were more of a gentleman…"
Jack pretended he didn't hear Hurley's last sentence. He was a gentleman, wasn't he? At least he used to be. He always put other people's needs before his. He wanted to be able to fix everything, just like his father had once said. Maybe, just maybe, he should try to work out things between him and Kate after all – if it was even possible.
He had no idea where Kate had gone. There were so many places to hide on the island that his chances of finding her were pretty slim. He figured there was no point in wandering aimlessly in the jungle, so he decided to head to the hatch to check on Sawyer.
"Locke?" Jack called, but got no reply. "Is anyone in here?"
He walked to the bedroom to see how Sawyer was doing. To his surprise the bed was empty. "What the hell?" Jack thought. He spun around and met Kate face to face. She was sitting on a chair behind the doorway.
"Where is Sawyer?" Jack wanted to know.
"Locke took him out. They had to do something. Don't ask me what, because they didn't tell" Kate silently answered.
"Aha. I guess he is doing better then."
"Yeah. I suppose he is"
Jack wasn't quite sure what he should do next. Should he just excuse himself and leave? It was a really tempting idea, but then he realized he would act exactly like Kate. He would just need to solve the mess now that he had a chance for it. He could only hope that Kate was willing to do her part, too.
"Kate…" He started, but got interrupted.
"Jack… I'm sorry. What happened yesterday… it was a mistake."
"Oh? Was it really?"
"Yes, it was."
"I see."
"You know what Jack, this is not going to work. I would change what happened, but it just isn't possible. Can't we just forget it and move on?" Kate said looking at Jack with pleading eyes.
"You would like that, wouldn't you? Too bad I'm not going to let you off the hook this time. Why don't you just tell me what is wrong with you? Why is it so hard for you to trust me?" Jack demanded to know.
"Jack, please… just leave me alone!" Kate cried and stood up to leave the room.
"No no… you aren't going anywhere!" Jack shouted almost angrily.
He barely managed to grab her arm before she disappeared through the doorway. Just like the day before, she tried to fight against him, but he was too strong. Feeling totally exhausted and lost, she broke into hopeless tears. Jack hugged her tight to his chest, trying his best to ease her pain.
"Kate, it is ok… can't we just talk about this? Sort things out?"
Kate didn't say anything for a long while. She lifted her head up to meet Jack's worry filled eyes. She wanted to open her heart to him, but it just wasn't so easy. She had never been good at expressing her feelings – it was always so much easier to run away. She would spend countless hours crying herself to sleep rather than just talking with someone. She wanted to appear as a tough person to the outside world. Deep inside, she was as fragile and uncertain as everyone else.
"Ok. You win." She finally said and freed herself from Jack's arms.
She sat down on the edge of the bed. Jack soon followed her example. They sat side by side, feeling a little foolish. They were like two school kids that liked each other, but didn't dare to say it.
"Did I ever tell you that I was married once?" Jack suddenly asked.
Kate looked at him amazed. She hadn't expected the conversation would take this kind of twist – she had thought he would only want to know about her past.
"Her name was Sara. We met in the hospital. She had been in a bad car accident, which broke her back. She was supposed to get married and all she wanted was to be able to dance at her wedding. I promised I would fix her, even if the chance for her full recovery was nonexistent. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to make her walk again. And indeed, she did dance at her wedding… with me. I really loved her, but our love wasn't meant to last forever. I can only blame myself for losing her. I worked long hours in the hospital, we barely saw each other. When I came home, she left for her work. That's how it continued for a long time. Then one day, after an unsuccessful operation, I realized we couldn't live like that anymore. I realized I had to start working for our relationship to make it work, because I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But it was too late. She told me she was seeing someone else and that she would leave me. Our marriage was history." Jack ended his confession.
Kate had no idea Jack was carrying such a load on his shoulders. She realized he had never talked about himself so much either. In fact, they knew very little about each other.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Kate said, not quite knowing a better way to put it.
"Yeah, well… like I said, it was entirely my fault." Jack answered and wiped away the tears that tried to escape from the corners of his eyes.
Kate observed him for a moment. She hadn't seen Jack so emotional before. Maybe it was because he had to be the hero for all the survivors. He was so focused on his task that he forgot to show his own feelings.
"Jack, I'm glad that you told me this. I know it wasn't easy"
He didn't answer her. Instead he placed his hand on hers, hoping it would send a signal her way that she could tell him something as well. He knew it was useless to keep asking questions from her. She would tell when she felt comfortable enough.
"I guess I have to tell you something as well… to make it even." Kate said. She took a deep breath and began her story.
"That one night, when you made me tell you about the toy airplane, it was the truth. It really belonged to a man I loved. He was called Tom. He was the only person in the world whom I could trust. We had a very special connection. We had planned to be together forever…" Kate stopped for a second to catch her breath. She was dangerously close to bursting in tears.
"It might have worked out if I… if I was able to continue living at home. My mum married a man who only had two things in his mind: to get drunk and to beat the hell out of her. I hated him, oh God I really hated him. I couldn't stand it how she kept loving him no matter what. Then one day I decided to make an end to it. I waited for him to come home. He was drunk as usual, barely able to hold himself up. I helped him inside and put him on his bed. That was the last time I saw him. I blew up my whole childhood home. I was so desperate to get rid of all the bad things in my life. I thought my mother would have supported me, but instead she sent to police after me. I have been running away from it all ever since."
Now it was Jack's turn to be amazed. He knew there was something mysterious about Kate's past, but a secret like this? Suddenly his life seemed far less complicated.
"I had no idea, Kate…" Jack said looking her straight in the eyes.
"That wasn't all. There is more to it. That same night, I also told you I killed the man I loved. I wish it wasn't true, but it is. And I really hate myself for it."
"Do I dare to ask what happened?" Jack asked cautiously, afraid to make her stop talking.
"It was a stupid, unnecessary accident. I went to see Tom after a very long time. He worked as a doctor in a hospital where my mum was as a patient. She was dying from cancer and I just wanted to see her for one last time. I wanted to tell her I was sorry for everything I had done to her. Tom was able to arrange a meeting, but it didn't quite work the way I had wanted. Before I even noticed I had police officers all around me and I had to run away – again. Tom gave me his car, but refused to let me go alone. I asked him to leave the car before it was too late… but he didn't listen. They were on my tail, so I had no other option than drive away as fast as I could. We didn't make it far. We crashed into another car just outside the hospital. I survived with a couple of scratches, but Tom… I killed him."
Kate couldn't hold her tears anymore. She had kept the secret to herself for so long that it actually felt relieving to share it with someone. And she was glad that someone happened to be Jack.
Jack was thinking about the night when Kate told him about the toy airplane. He remembered how he left her helplessly crying at the caves. He didn't stay to comfort her. He felt she didn't deserve it after so many lies. It was mean, he knew it. Now he had a chance to make it up for her. He tenderly wrapped his arms around her and closed her into a warm hug.
"Kate, it's ok. It is over now. You don't have to run away anymore" he whispered in her ear.
She watched him through the tears in her eyes. She saw the same loving look on his face that she had become so familiar with. The look she had feared was gone forever. She reached for his lips and kissed him gently. Everything felt so right at that very moment. After all those years, she had finally found her place. It was right here, with Jack.
"Dudes! Whoa!"
Their passionate kiss was interrupted by Hurley. They had been so focused on each other that they had failed to notice him coming into the hatch. Feeling ashamed on getting caught like that, they both had to laugh.
"Guys… Is this what I think it is or am I seeing things?" Hurley wanted to know.
"Let's just say that you were right about what you said on the beach. For once I'm glad I listened to you," Jack said with a big smile on his face.
"Now if you excuse us, we have something to do," Jack continued.
He took Kate's hand and led her out of the room.
"Where are we going?" Kate asked, trying to keep up with his speed.
"It's a surprise," Jack said mysteriously.
Hurley watched them run away from the hatch. He couldn't help smiling about what he had just witnessed.
"I knew it. I knew it all the time," He said to himself and laughed.
The End.