Mazoku High
By:Majin Vegeta
This is a fanfic about the Slayers gang going to high school! It's
really silly (of course!) and will contain a bunch of cameo appearances.
Anyway on with the show!
Disclaimer:I don't own Slayers or any of the characters that make
cameos, or their respective animes. 'nuff said!
Warning:Live without warning.
Cast and Parts:
Xelloss (The principal and a teacher)
Valgaav (Teacher)
Filia (Teacher)
Fibrizo (Teacher)
Rezo (Bully)
Lina (Student)
Amelia (Student)
Zelgadis (Student)
Gourry (Student)
And many random cameos!
Lina:What's the gag *this* time?
MV:Gag? :Looks around:: I didn't gag anybody!
Lina:I mean the gag of the fanfic baka!
MV:Oh you mean the *gag*. Well it's probably the most boring and
uncreative idea EVER.
Lina:Just say it already!
MV:You guys are going to High School!
Lina:WHAT?
MV:With Xelloss as a principal!
Xelloss:Sounds fun to me ^_^
Lina:Oh shut up!
***********
Episode 1:Welcome to hell...errr I mean Mazoku High!
::The camera zooms in on a rather small black building with red letters
"Mazoku High School" appearing on the front. Lina, Gourry, Amelia and
Zelgadis were all trudging towards the building, as were many other
random students::
Lina:I can't believe he's making us do this!
Amelia:Majin-san is really really unjust!
Zelgadis:Let's get this stupid thing over with.
::The four of them enter the building and all head to the classroom of
every bodies favorite Trickster Priest::
::Suddenly an annoying voice booms over a speaker::
Voice of Nahga:You've got only 30 seconds to get to class! If you're
late you will be dealt with! AHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Lina: ::Grunts:: Don't tell me *she* got a part in this fic as well.
Gourry:Who got what?
Lina:Nevermind jellyfish brain!
Voice of Nahga: ::Booms over the speaker again:: No I am not Nahga the
White Serpent! AHOHOHOHO! NOW GET TO CLASS!
Lina: ::Sweatdrops::
Zelgadis:Oh this is already too stupid to bear.
Lina:You said it! ::Lina-tachi rush into Xelloss' classroom as a very
loud, ear piercing bell sounds::
::Xelloss' room is decorated with purple paper. Xelloss is writing some
random things on the board when he hears the bell::
Xelloss: ::Turns around:: Why hello class! ::Looks around at everyone
standing up:: I suppose you need seats ne? ^_^
Gourry:Huh?
Amelia:Xelloss-san, why are you a teacher?
Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^
Amelia:I should have seen that one coming.
Xelloss:Sit where ever you want to. I got to go do something. ^_^
::Teleports out of the room::
::A voice booms from nowhere again::
Voice of Nahga:And now for the morning announcements with Principal
Xelloss!
::Lina and company all sweatdrop as Xelloss' voice starts coming from
nowhere::
Voice of Xelloss:Welcome everyone to your first and only day at Mazoku
High! ^_^
Amelia:What does Xelloss-san mean by only day?
Lina:He means that this fic is only going to be one chapter long.
Amelia:Oh.
Voice of Xelloss:As you all probably don't know, this school only has
ten classrooms, a cafeteria, and a gymnasium. That's all ^_^.
Zelgadis:....
Voice of Xelloss:Anyway I hope you all enjoy your first day at this
great edifice of education! Now Fibrizo-san will give you the lunch
menu!
::Loud cracking sounds and an occasional explosion are heard over the
loudspeaker::
Voice of Fibrizo:Today's lunch menu is Mandragora Soup courtesy of his
fruitiness, Principal Xelloss. That's all for these stupid
announcements. Now prepare to be tortured!
::The sound of Fibrizo's last word dissipates over the course of a
minute. Xelloss teleports back into the classroom::
Lina:OH I'M GONNA KILL THE AUTHOR WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM!!!!!
Amelia:Calm down Lina-san.
Lina: ::Glares at Amelia::
Xelloss:Oh yes please do calm down Lina-san! ^_^
Lina:SHUT UP!
Xelloss:That's a tad bit disrespectful! ^_^
Lina: ::Glares evilly at Xelloss::
Zelgadis:Can we get this over with already?
Xelloss:Sure Zel-kun ^_^.
***********
Zelgadis:Is there a point to this?
MV:Well yeah sorta yeah...
Zelgadis:What's that?
MV:The point is to make this fanfic so I can rule the world!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Zelgadis:Baka.
MV:MWAHAHAHA....::Blinks:: Hey I'm not a baka!
Zelgadis:...
MV:Stop using those periods!
Zelgadis:What?
MV:Uhhh I dunno.
Zelgadis:Baka!
***********
Episode 2:The Title of Episode 2 is a Secret! ^_^
Xelloss:Ok class sit down. ^_^
Gourry:Do we even have seats yet?
Lina:No we don't Gourry.
Gourry:Why not?
Lina:Because we don't Gourry.
Gourry:Ooooooh.
Xelloss:Ok ^_^ Lina-san just sit over there ::Points to a desk near a
few loose nails:: Don't worry the wall won't collapse anytime soon! ^_^
Lina:Anytime soon? ::Looks about ready to kill Xelloss::
Xelloss:What's the matter Lina-san? ^_^
Lina:I'm sooooo gonna kill the author! ::Walks over to her seat and
glares at Xel::
Xelloss:My my what a pleasant reaction. ^_^
Gourry:But she always reacts that way Xelloss.
Lina:SHUT UP BAKA! ::Gets up and hits Gourry over the head, then sits
back down::
Gourry:Ouch!
Xelloss: ::Continues as if nothing every happened:: Ok, Gourry-san you
can sit over there. ^_^. ::Points to a desk that looks like it's ready
to fall apart:: The desk shouldn't break when you're sitting in it
Gourry. ^_^
Gourry: ::Walks over to his seat:: Ummm isn't this a bit unsafe?
Zelgadis:He actually has a little intelligence after all.
Lina:Who would have thought?
Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^
Gourry:Oh in that case. ::Sits down and wobbles on the seat a bit::
Xelloss:Yes yes. Zel-kun you can sit over the...
Zelgadis:Don't even think about it.
Xelloss:Alright fine. ::Points to a desk that sits under a light that is
about to fall off the ceiling:: Sit there ^_^.
Zelgadis:If that falls on me I sue. ::Walks over to his seat and sits
down:: This is so stupid.
Xelloss: ::Gives all of the other students seats except for Amelia:: Ok
now I guess class can begin! ^_^
Amelia:Ummm Xelloss-san, what about me?
Xelloss:Oh Amelia I almost forgot about you! ^_^ Your seat is right next
to the pit that has several rabid dogs on the bottom of it. ^_^ ::Points
to the aforementioned seat::
Amelia:But Xelloss-san that's inhumane!
Xelloss:Oh well ^_^
Amelia: ::Walks over to her seat and sits down:: And it's really unjust
too!
Xelloss:Do you want to fail Amelia-san? ^_^
Amelia:No.
Xelloss:Then don't give me any long justice speeches. ^_^
Amelia:Majin-san is going to get it for this!
Lina:You said it!
Zelgadis: ::Watching the light above him:: Who built this?
Xelloss:Oh I believe I built the school Zel-kun. ^_^
Zelgadis:I should have known.
Xelloss:What does that mean? ^_^
Zelgadis:Don't talk fruitcake.
Xelloss:Ok fine ^_^.
::Xelloss stops talking and the room goes completely quiet::
::Some plaster falls off the wall next to Lina::
Lina:THAT'S IT! ::Gets up:: I'm glad you can build as good as you cook
Xel! ::The wall collapses and falls on the desk Lina was just at::
::Xelloss doesn't say anything::
Lina:Why aren't you saying anything?
::Xelloss still doesn't say anything::
Zelgadis:Probably because I told him not to talk.
::Xelloss nods::
Lina: ::Sweatdrops:: TALK YOU IDIOT!
Xelloss:Ok ok. ^_^ Thanks for the complement by the way Lina-san.
Lina:That's all you can say?
Xelloss:Oh no I can say much more then "Thanks for the complement by the
way Lina-san." ^_^
Lina: ::Sweatdrops again:: FIREBALL! ::Hits Xelloss with the spell::
Xelloss: ::Brushes the ash off of himself:: Violence isn't the answer
Lina-san! ^_^
::The rest of the students start chanting some random obscene words at
Lina::
Amelia:That isn't such a good idea guys.
Gourry: ::Hides under desk:: Yeah you shouldn't have done that.
Zelgadis: ::Walks away from his desk:: Well we all know what's going to
happen now.
Xelloss: ::Teleports out of the classroom::
Lina:DARKNESS BEYOND TWILIGHT....
::Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis all get out of Lina's way::
Lina:CRIMSON BEYOND BLOOD THAT FLOWS!
::The students still chant their obscene words. Some of them laugh at
Lina. All of them are completely baffled and therefore are laughing
because of that::
Lina:Etc etc etc. DRAGU SLAVE! ::Fires the spell at the students and
they all die. And most of Xelloss' classroom is destroyed as well::
Xelloss: ::Teleports back in his now destroyed classroom:: You know
that's at least a detention Lina-san. ^_^
Lina:OH SHUT UP!
Xelloss:Very well. ^_^
Amelia:Xelloss-san please don't use that joke again!
Xelloss:Alright. ^_^
::Suddenly the shrill bell rings and everyone has to shield their ears::
::Lina-tachi, now including the greatest Trickster Priest (of all
time!), go to Valgaav's classroom::
***********
Valgaav:I better get that Pikachu card you promised me!
MV:Uhhh I never promised you anything Val-san.
Valgaav:$%#@ yeah you did!
MV:I never did so in my life.
Valgaav:Fine then I quit this %^$&ing fanfic!
MV:Ha! You can't quit!
Valgaav:Watch me!
MV: ::Watches Valgaav:: You aren't doing anything.
Valgaav:$%^%#&^%#@^#%%$&^%&%#^%
MV:What's that?
Valgaav:I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you.
MV:Oh alright. ::Hands Val a card:: Here is the stupid card.
Valgaav: ::Looks at the card:: YAY!
MV: ::Sweatdrops::
***********
Episode 3:@#$!@%$^#&*&#%@@$# still isn't a word Val!
Xelloss: ::Looks up at the title:: The title is right,
@#$!@%$^#&*&#%@@$# still isn't a word! ^_^
Zelgadis: ::Sarcastically:: Thank you Xelloss.
Xelloss:You're welcome Zel-kun! ^_^
Lina:This is going to be a looooooooooooong fanfic.
::The sound of a laugh comes from nowhere and then subsides::
Amelia:What was that Lina-san?
Lina:I bet you that was that idiot Majin Vegeta laughing! I'M GONNA KILL
HIM!!!!
Gourry:Are we almost there?
Xelloss:We sure are! ^_^
::As if on cue a classroom appears out of nowhere. Valgaav is leaning on
a nearby wall making comments to all the girls who pass by his sight::
Zelgadis:Why do we always have to end up in Majin's stupid
fanfics?
Amelia:Zelgadis-san you mean you don't know?
Zelgadis:No I don't know Amelia, that's why I asked.
::Valgaav suddenly walks into his classroom for no apparent reason::
::A voice booms over the speaker::
Voice of MV:Because it's fun to mess with you guys! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
::Soon another voice booms over the speak::
Voice of Tasuki:Hey you baka Majin, stop messing with the speaker!
::Clears throat:: I'm making a cameo!
Voice of MV:No Tasuki you can't make a cameo in this fic!!!! NO!
Voice of Tasuki:Oh yeah? Rekka Shien! ::The sound of fire comes through
the speaker and it clicks off, for now::
Zelgadis: ::Sweatdrops:: Well that was stupid.
Lina:Good that baka author got fried like he deserved! I'M STILL GONNA
KILL HIM THOUGH!
Zelgadis:Down Lina.
Lina: ::Bearing anime type fangs:: Oh shut up Zel!
Xelloss: ::Clears throat:: Did anyone notice how the bell didn't ring
yet? ^_^
Amelia:Yeah that's kind of weird isn't it Xelloss-san?
::As if on cue that shrill bell sounds again and Lina-tachi cover their
ears::
::Valgaav peaks out of his classroom::
Valgaav:GET THE $%#% IN HERE!
Xelloss:Val $%#% isn't a word. ^_^
Valgaav:SHUT THE $%#% UP FRUITCAKE!
Xelloss:Oh be nice Val-kun, I'm your boss. ^_^
Valgaav: ::Veins pop out of Val's head:: I'M GOING TO KILL THAT BAKA
MAJIN!
Lina:That's the spirit!
::Lina-tachi walk into Valgaav's classroom and are surprised to see that
it's not decorated at all::
Amelia:Why is it all white in here Valgaav-san?
Valgaav:Because we're on a low budget. We also don't have seats so
you'll have to sit on the floor.
::A bunch of students are already sitting on the floor::
Zelgadis:At least this one isn't falling apart.
::Suddenly the floor under a random student falls apart and he falls
into a river that happened to be flowing under the school and dies::
Amelia:Zelgadis-san don't ever say things like that!
Lina:Yeah Zel I thought you knew Majin would just make it happen.
Valgaav:Ok so the floor needs a little work ::Sweatdrops::
Xelloss:Silly half Ryozoku-Mazoku! ^_^
Valgaav:WHAT THE $%#% ARE YOU %$&#ING TALKING ABOUT YOU $%^#ING
FRUITCAKE!?!?!?!?!
Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^
Valgaav: ::Punches Xelloss in the face:: STUPID FRUITCAKE!
Gourry:How come I don't have any lines?
::As if on cue a voice booms over the loud speaker::
Voice of MV:Because I can't think of anything funny for you to say!
Gourry:Why not?
Voice of MV:Because!
Gourry:Why not?
Voice of MV:Uhhh I'm not gonna explain this to you uhhh hey Tasukiiii!
::The sound over the loudspeaker cracks and some more fire sounds can be
heard::
Voice of Tasuki:What?
Voice of MV:@_@ Do you have to burn me with that thing all the time? Anyway
come here!
Voice of Tasuki:Fine.
Gourry:Huh?
Voice of Tasuki:What does Gourry want?
Voice of MV:Errr gotta run! ::The sound of a car driving away is heard::
Voice of Tasuki:Oh boy. ::Turns off the loud speaker::
Gourry:I'm confused.
Lina:Don't worry Gourry you didn't miss anything worthwhile!
Zelgadis:This is the worst fic I ever been in.
Valgaav:I bet you Majin can make it a hell of a lot worse!
Zelgadis:I suppose so.
Xelloss:I think this episode is about to end! ^_^
Amelia:How do you know that Xelloss-san?
Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu!
Amelia:I should have known.
::Then that loud bell sounds, it's more like a torture device then a
bell. Ok so instead the torture device sounds.::
::Lina-tachi, now including Valgaav so the fic can have more jokes in
it, goes to the next classroom, which happened to be Filia's::
::Twilight Zone music booms over the loud speaker for no apparent
reason::
***********
Filia:Was that music supposed to be making fun of me?
MV:Ummm....::Slinks away slowly:: what music Filia-chan?
Filia: ::Proceeds to hit MV with her mace::
MV:Owie owie owie.
***********
Episode 4:More random cameos!
Lina:What's up with that eerie music?
Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^
Lina: ::Hits Xelloss over the head:: Oh shut up!
Xelloss:Will do. ^_^
::All of the students roaming the halls were now in their classrooms::
Zelgadis:Here we go with the ten minute bell again.
::Lina-tachi found their way outside Filia's classroom. The lights in
her classroom were currently turned off::
Gourry:Why are the lights off in there?
Amelia:Gourry-san she didn't get to the room yet.
Gourry:Oh.
::A voice booms over the loud speaker::
Voice of Cell:Will Majin Vegeta report to the office?
Voice of Tasuki:Yo Cell! He's gone!
Voice of Cell:WHAT?!?!? ::Suddenly the sound of a building collapsing
boomed over the loud speaker::
Voice of Tasuki: :Tasuki sweatdrops:: Did you have to fly through the
ceiling?
::The loud speaker turns off::
Zelgadis: ::Sweatdrops:: This school is a nut house.
Xelloss:Why thank you. ^_^
::Filia runs to her classroom and unlocks the door::
Filia:I can't believe that I'm so late!
Xelloss: ::Chuckles:: Drink too much tea Filia-san?
Filia: ::Turns around at the sound of Xelloss' voice:: NAMAGOMI! ::Hits
Xel on the head with her handy dandy Xelloss whacking stick (aka her
mace)::
::Nobody notices Xelloss getting hit and Filia opens the door and turns
on the lights in her room. Soon after Lina-tachi enter::
Valgaav:What the $%#@ kind of room is this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
::The room is decorated in every color except for purple::
Filia:It's a colorful room. Valgaav-san I thought I asked you to stop
cursing around the students.
::For some reason the classroom was already filled with students. How
they got in is a secret::
Lina: ::Reading the last statement in colons:: That made no sense at
all!
Zelgadis:Nothing about Majin's fics make sense.
Lina:Good point Zel!
Amelia:That's not true guys! Some of Majin-san's fics make sense!
Zelgadis:Name one then.
Amelia:Ummmm.
Zelgadis:Exactly.
::Suddenly those voices boom out of the loud speaker again::
Voice of Cell:HAHAHAHA! I got you now Majin! Now get back down there!
::Sounds of fires, explosions, car accidents, broken glass, some N'Sync
songs, and all things horrible play over the loud speaker::
Voice of MV:Geez that really hurt you big bully!
Voice of Cell:Oh shut up!
Voice of MV:Anyway uhhh my fics do make sense!
Voice of Tasuki:I know where all the other sounds came from but where in
the world did the crappy songs come from?
Voice of MV:I have no idea Tasuki.
Voice of Freezer:I played that music! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Voice of MV:AHHHHH it's a ummmmm....I don't know what it is!!!! KILL IT!
Voice of Tasuki:Rekka Shien! ::The sounds of fire fill the loud speaker
now::
Voice of Freezer:I'm meeeeeeeeeeelting.
::The loud speaker flips off::
Filia: ::Sweatdrops:: This school gets weirder and weirder as the day
goes on.
Zelgadis:That's nothing new for Majin's fics.
Xelloss:How true! ^_^
Filia:Anyway you guys can take seats over there. ::Points to an empty
section of seats::
::Lina-tachi walk over to their seats. A random student spontaneously
combusts::
Valgaav:What's up with the combustion?
Amelia:Valgaav-san what are you talking about?
Valgaav:The kid that just suddenly combusted!
Lina:You're losing it Val!
Valgaav:I seen it with my own eyes damn it!
Gourry:Seen what?
Valgaav:The combustion you BAKA!
Gourry:The who?
Valgaav: ::Screams::
Xelloss:That could be misinterpreted Val-kun! ^_^
Valgaav: ::Cringes:: SHUT THE !@#$%!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%!@#$% UP
FRUITCAKE!
Xelloss:Notice Majin's pattern of !@#$%. ^_^
::The loud speaker comes on for a second::
Voice of MV:HEEEEEEEEEY! No one was supposed to notice that!
Xelloss:Don't worry about it Majin-san, no one did. ^_^
Voice of MV:Oh okay. ::Loud speaker flicks off::
Filia:I'm supposed to teach you about the dangers of staying up past
nine.
Lina:WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Filia: ::Looks at her lesson plan:: That's what it says. ::Looks at more
closely and can see Xelloss signed his name to it:: NAMAGOMI!!!!
Xelloss: ::Looks up:: Yeah? ^_^
Filia: ::Pulls her mace out from under her skirt and whacks Xelloss over
the head with it::
::Some students start cheering and they all spontaneously combust at the
same time::
Valgaav:Look more people combusted!
Zelgadis:It's probably the room.
::Amelia is about to ask a question but Lina holds her hand over her
mouth::
Lina:No Amelia don't!
Amelia: ::Asks her question anyway:: Did anyone notice how the bell
didn't ring yet?
Lina:Oh no! ::Covers ears, as does the rest of Lina-tachi::
::Suddenly the torture device for class to start rings. Then when
everyone can't hear anything the loud speaker comes on again::
Voice of MV:MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Voice of Tasuki:Will you stop laughing like that?
Voice of MV:Ok fine! AHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Voice of Nahga:Hey that's patented!
Voice of MV:Where did you come from?
Voice of Nahga:I just got back from my lunch.
Voice of MV:Oh ok.
Voice of Cell:Majin you're an idiot!
Voice of MV:Why's that?
Voice of Cell:Because you are.
Voice of MV:Maybe I should stop ringing the bell now.
Voice of Tasuki:Oh good idea.
::The sound of the bell (aka the torture device) dissipates::
Voice of MV:Uhhh now ummm get to class students!
Lina:WE ARE ALREADY IN CLASS YOU IDIOT!
Voice of MV:Oh well then ummmm uhhh good job!
::The loud speaker turns off::
::Sweatdrops form behind the heads of Lina-tachi::
Xelloss:Well now what do we do? ^_^
Everyone but Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu!
Xelloss:Very well then. ^_^
::The torture device sounds again::
Filia:I guess that means class is over?
Lina:Guess so.
::Lina-tachi, now including Filia for no apparent reason wandered to the
cafeteria. It was lunch time and two certain characters were really
hungry::
::A voice comes over the loud speaker, which for sake of my sanity isn't
going to go off anymore unless I say so::
Voice of MV:It's the end of the episode!
Voice of Nahga:AHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Voice of MV:Stop laughing like that Nahga! It's so scary!
Voice of Cell:Not as scary as that ummm....thing I killed.
Voice of MV:True true.
Zelgadis ::Sweatdrops:: Why don't they just go away?
Voice of MV:I heard that!
***********
Fibrizo:Great goggly moggily! This fanfic is long!
MV: ::Blinks:: Great *what*?
Fibrizo:Great goggly moggily!
MV:Uhhh uh-huh. ::Sweatdrops:: Only two more episodes to go!
Fibrizo:Gee wilickers!
MV:Stop talking like that!
Fibrizo:Alright fine.
MV:By the way Fibrizo-sama....ummm you're gonna be introduced last
again. Heh.
Fibrizo:WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
MV:Heh.
Fibrizo:I'M SO GONNA KILL YOU!
MV:Errr ummm anyway, we take you readers ::Big fake smile:: back to your
regularly scheduled fanfic by the greatest author of all time!
Fibrizo:You mean Shakesphere right?
MV:No I meant me!
Fibrizo: ::Laughs hysterically:: That's a good one!
MV: ::Sweatdrops:: It wasn't a joke!
Fibrizo: ::Laughs even more:: You're killing me!
***********
Episode 5:Lunch Time with Blind Guys!
Xelloss:That title gives everything away! ^_^
Voice of MV:SHUT UP FRUITCAKE!
Voice of Tasuki:SHUT UP PSYCHO!
Voice of MV:Will do!
Xelloss:^_^
Lina:I'm surrounded by idiots!
Zelgadis:That *we* are Lina, that we are.
Lina:We?
Zelgadis:As in me included.
Lina:Oh yeah I guess we're surrounded by idiots then.
Filia and Amelia:Lina-san!
Lina:What?
Filia and Amelia:How dare you call us idiots!
Lina:Not including you two either.
Valgaav:Yeah right, you weridos!
Xelloss:Did you call Val-kun? ^_^
Valgaav:Shut up %$#@ing fruitcake!
::Lina-tachi make there way to the crowded cafeteria where a few dozen
tables sit. At these tables are a bunch of students. All of the tables
are filled except for one, where Rezo the red priest is sitting alone::
Amelia:Why is Rezo sitting alone?
Zelgadis:More importantly, why is he even alive?
Voice of MV:Because I said so!
Voice of Cell:Not good enough! ::Calls for one of his friends::
Voice of MV:Wanna fight?
Voice of Cell:Sure!
Voice of MV:Not literally Cell-sama.
::Lina-tachi are now just ignoring any sound from the loud speaker::
Lina:Who cares? I'm too hungry to think about that!
Gourry:Yeah me too!
Filia:Lina-san, Gourry-san, remember what's on the lunch menu today?
Lina:What?
Gourry:Yeah what?
Filia:Namagomi's Mandragora Soup. ::Facefaults::
Lina: ::Blanches:: What else?
Xelloss:There are some small snacks as well. ^_^ Such as donuts,
Doritos(tm), Cheetos(tm), Trickster Priest Puffs(tm), popcorn and
crackers.
Lina:Trickster Priest whats?
Xelloss:Trickster Priest Puffs! ::Pulls out a bag from hammerspace::
They taste like a million secrets! ::Smiles and teeth sparkle::
Valgaav:Riiiiiiiight. You should call em fruitcake bars.
Zelgadis:Can we just get this fic over with?
Voice of MV:How many times do you say that?
Zelgadis:....
Voice of Suzuka:Hey Cell!
Voice of Cell:Suzuka you made it!
Voice of Suzuka:You want me to assassinate someone?
Voice of Cell:Yeah...::Whispers something::
Voice of Suzuka:Will do.
Voice of MV:Gulp!
::The loud speaker then turns off for some reason::
Amelia:Do you think they're going to kill Majin-san, Lina-san?
Lina:No way! If they wanted to do that they would have done it already!
Amelia:Good point.
Zelgadis:Who cares?
Gourry:Who cares about what?
Zelgadis:Nothing Gourry, nothing.
Gourry:Alright then!
::Since Lina-tachi has no where else to sit, they sit the table where
Rezo is at. Ironically enough Zel is forced to sit next to Rezo, Filia
is forced to sit next to Gourry, Valgaav is forced to sit next to
Xelloss and Lina sits next to Amelia. All of the other students gasp
simultaneously when they see Lina-tachi sitting next to Rezo::
Rezo: ::Looking around:: Oh lookie who is sitting at my table, it's some
*idiot* students and some *deadbeat* teachers. Pity pity.
Xelloss:Val-kun I think he likes you. ^_^
Valgaav:$*&%*&%*&%$@#@#@$#%@#$@$%$%#%$$@@##%&$&*&#&&***&#@&
Xelloss:That's one isn't a word either Val-kun. ^_^
Valgaav:SHUT UP FRUITCAKE!
Gourry:What is Rezo talking about Filia?
Filia:What does it sound like to you Gourry?
Gourry:Like he's threatening us! ::Gets up and unsheathes his sword of
light:: Light come fo...
Filia: ::Pulls Gourry down to his seat:: No don't do that!
Gourry:Why not?
Filia:You'll only get him mad!
Amelia:Lina-san I thought you killed Rezo?
Lina:I did! BUT THE STUPID AUTHOR KEEPS BRINGING HIM BACK TO LIFE!
Amelia:Oh ok. Majin-san isn't stupid though!
Lina:You're kidding right?
Amelia:No! Majin-san is unjust but not stupid!
Lina: ::Sweatdrops:: Yeah whatever Amelia.
Zelgadis: ::Looks at his great grandfather/grandfather:: You evil evil
man you!
Rezo:Yeeees?
Zelgadis:I'm going to kill you Rezo! ::Gets up and unsheathes his
sword::
::The entire student body in the cafeteria gasps simultaneously again::
Rezo:You're going to kill me? That's amusing. ::Gets out of his seat and
all the students flee out of the cafeteria:: That's a laugh!
Zelgadis:RA TILT! ::Fires the spell at Rezo but he just blocks it::
::Amelia gets in a cheerleader's outfit::
Amelia:Zel-kun Zel-kun he's our chimera if he can't do it
uhhhh....Lina-san probably can!
::Suddenly the loud speaker blares on once again::
Voice of MV:So you mean to tell me you wanted Bill Gates dead the entire
time Cell?
Voice of Cell:Yep.
Voice of MV:Why didn't you do it yourself.
Voice of Cell:I'm lazy. I just figured I'd have Suzuka do it.
Voice of Suzuka:No problem for a friend like you Cell! Now as for pay...
Voice of Cell:Oh here! ::The sound of a lot of coins jingling around is
heard::
Voice of Tasuki:Yo Majin!
Voice of MV:Whaaaaat?
Voice of Tasuki:Remember your fanfic?
Voice of MV:Yeah.
Voice of Tasuki:Then finish it!
Voice of MV:Yeah yeah. Stupid bossy bandit.
Voice of Tasuki:Rekka Shien! ::The sounds of fire fill the loud speaker
once again::
Voice of MV:Haha you missed me!
Voice of Nahga:Owie. ::The sound of a person collapsing goes over the
loud speaker::
Lina:Hey Majin! SHUT UP ALREADY!
::The loud speaker turns off again::
Rezo:Well I dunno if I'm going to fight you now, since you do seem to
have an adoring fan my grandson.
Zelgadis:Oh shove it old man! ::Charges at Rezo with his sword::
Xelloss:The suspense is killing me. ^_^
Valgaav: ::Elbows Xel in the chest:: Shut up! ::Goes back to eating his
popcorn::
::For no reason at all a kid runs into the cafeteria and goes in between
Zel and Rezo::
Kid:Break it up!
Zelgadis:Who are you?
Kid:I am the peacemaker!
Rezo:Shoo! ::Snaps fingers and that kid bursts into blue flames and dies
a slow, horrible death::
Lina:How did you do that?
Rezo:I got extra author powers.
::Zelgadis puts his arm around Rezo's shoulder::
Zelgadis:Maybe you aren't so bad after all.
::The two of them walk out of the cafeteria slowly and when Rezo least
expects it, Zel stabs him in the back (literally!)::
Rezo: ::Falls to the ground:: Why Zel? Whhhhhhhhhhhy?
Zelgadis:Sore wa himitsu desu!
Xelloss:That's my line! ^_^
Zelgadis:Shut up! I'm trying to be dramatic!
Rezo:NOOOOOOO! ::Disappears in a puff of green smoke::
::The loud speaker comes on::
Voice of MV:Deju vu!
Voice of Cell:SHUT UP MORON!
Voice of MV:Oh ho hum!
::The loud speaker clicks off::
::Lina-tachi all eat some Trickster Priest Puffs and walk out of the
cafeteria::
Filia:I think the fic is almost over guys!
Lina:Oh thank god!
Kami:You're welcome!
::Nobody pays attention to the lame joke I just did::
Amelia: ::Now in her normal clothes:: You know what that means?
Gourry:No what?
Amelia:It means this episode is about to end Gourry-san!
Gourry:Oh.
::The torture device sounds and all of the students who were now in the
gym eating stormed to their next classes. So Lina-tachi set off to their
final class, Fibrizo's room::
***********
Amelia:It's almost over right Majin-san?
MV:Yes my justice loving friend!
Amelia:Good. Oh by the way Majin-san, can you do me a favor?
MV:What?
Amelia:Please don't write any more Slayers humor fics!
MV:I can never do that and you know it!
Amelia:That's what I was afraid of.
***********
Episode 6:Time for Fibrizo to take the stage!
::As Lina-tachi was getting closer to Fibrizo's classroom, they all
could hear random screams::
Amelia:You don't think that's Fibrizo-san do you?
Zelgadis:It probably is.
Amelia:I wonder what Fibrizo-san is doing to those poor people?
::That loud torture device rings on cue and all of the students who were
in Fibrizo's classroom look ill. Two random kids converse among
themselves::
Kid 1:I can't belive Fibrizo-san made us read all of that garbage!
Kid 2:No one deservises that!
::Those kids disappear in the halls::
Lina:I bet I know what Fibrizo made those guys read. Poor poor guys.
Gourry:What Lina?
Lina:It's just too horrible to say!
Xelloss:I belive what Lina-chan is trying to say is that they were
forced to read all of Majin's fanfics! Every single one! ^_^
::A voice comes over the loud speaker::
Voice of MV:HEY! My fics aren't that bad!
Voice of Cell:Who told you that lie?
Voice of MV:Millions of rabid fans!
Voice of Cell:Majin I thought you knew imaginary fans don't count!
Voice of MV:WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Voice of Cell:Nothing.
::The loud speaker turns off::
Xelloss:They're so silly. ^_^
Valgaav:Fruitcake.
::Fibrizo walks out of his classroom and looks at Lina-tachi evilly::
Fibrizo:Come in to my chamber of absolute horror! Errr..I mean come to
class *now*!
::Lina-tachi all enter Fibrizo's classroom for some unexplained reason
as do a bunch of other students.::
::The walls in Fibrizo's classroom were all jet black and they had
yellow and red pieces of paper attached to them that emulated flames.
Also hanging on his walls was the phrase, "Welcome to my hell." in red
letters::
Lina: ::Sweatdrops:: Why am I not surprised?
Filia:I hate Mazoku!!!!
Fibrizo: ::Smirks:: Good for you! Now class sit down!
::The torture device rings and all the students, including Lina-tachi,
sit down in some random seats they picked out::
::Fibrizo walked to the front of his classroom::
Fibrizo:Ok class what is the capital of Syria? You! ::Points at a random
student::
Random Student 1:Uhhh I don't know ummmm ::Scratches head:: Japan?
Fibrizo:Wrong! ::Makes the random students life orb appear:: You die!
::Crushes the life orb and he dies::
Amelia:Fibrizo-san that's unjust!
Fibrizo:Oh well Amelia. Live with it! Or die with it if you want. Up to
you really.
Amelia:....
Zelgadis:....
Xelloss:Wow the peanut gallery really got quiet lately! ^_^
Valgaav:SHUT UP FRUITCAKE!
Fibrizo:Ahem ::Clears throat:: Ok you, what is the capital of Syria?
::Points at another random student::
Random Student 2:Da Mazoku High Football team rules! We're gonna beat
the New England Patriots cause they sux! WOOOOOOO! ::Jumps up out of his
seat and waves arms around in the air::
Fibrizo:Uhhh riiiight. ::Does the same thing he did with the first
random student and kills this one as well::
::The rest of the class is now only narrowed down to Lina-tachi::
Lina:Stop killing people!
Fibrizo:Why?
Lina:Just stop! ::Starts chanting the words to the Dragu Slave::
Fibrizo:Oh I guess I will stop then. Heh...::Runs out of his classroom
really fast::
Lina:There! ::Claps hands together:: Now I'm the teacher!
Zelgadis:Not really.
Lina:Shut up Zel!
Gourry:What's a teacher?
Lina:Definitely not you Gourry!
Gourry:Oh ok good then.
Xelloss:So that's another detention for trying to kill a teacher Lina.
^_^
Lina:SHUT UP XEL! DIGU BOLT!
Xelloss: ::Gets a shocking experience:: Oh I guess I'm hit. ^_^
::Suddenly the torture device rings one last time and Lina-tachi walk
out of the classroom and towards the exits, where Fibrizo happens to be
standing.::
Fibrizo:Yo Lina! I'm make you a deal, cast the Giga Slave and I'll buy
you a month worth of dinners!
Amelia:Don't be silly Fibrizo-san, Lina-san will never be persuaded that
easily....::Sweatdrops when Lina agrees with Fibrizo and the two of them
walk off into the sunset::
Xelloss:Looks like you were wrong Amelia. ^_^ Don't worry about that,
I'll go buy you a soda. ^_^
Amelia:Uhhh ok Xelloss-san! ::Xelloss and Amelia walk off into the
sunset::
Gourry:What's going on?
Zelgadis:I don't know.
Filia:I bet this was all one of Xelloss' tricks! ::Growls::
NAMAGOMIIIII! ::Runs off into the sunset with her mace drawn, every now
and then hitting Xelloss over the head with it::
Zelgadis:Looks like it's just use left. ::Sweatdrops::
Gourry:Wanna play a game?
Zelgadis:Sure I need to win. ::Zel and Gourry walk off in the sunset as
well::
::This would have been the ending except for one little thing. The
camera zooms in on the office, the source of all the voices from the
loud speaker::
MV:Geez that was one looooong day.
Cell:No kidding, by the way thanks for the cash.
MV:No prob. See ya Cell! ::Cell leaves::
Tasuki:Don't ever write another fanfic like this Majin. See ya.
MV:Ummm ok I guess so. ::Tasuki leaves::
Nahga:I have nothing to say here. Bye. AHOHOHOHOHOHO!
MV:Yeah bye. ::Sweatdrops as Nahga leaves::
::Suzuka and MV stare at each other for several seconds::
MV:You leaving?
Suzuka:You first.
MV:No I insist...you first.
Suzuka:I'm not going to kill you or something.
MV:Fine! ::Leaves, then Suzuka does::
::The fanfic then ends happily (sorta) ever after::
********
Ooooook that was a long fic! But anyway give me feedback for it! I want
your feedback! The person who is the third to give me feedback will win
a brand new car!!!!!
By:Majin Vegeta
This is a fanfic about the Slayers gang going to high school! It's
really silly (of course!) and will contain a bunch of cameo appearances.
Anyway on with the show!
Disclaimer:I don't own Slayers or any of the characters that make
cameos, or their respective animes. 'nuff said!
Warning:Live without warning.
Cast and Parts:
Xelloss (The principal and a teacher)
Valgaav (Teacher)
Filia (Teacher)
Fibrizo (Teacher)
Rezo (Bully)
Lina (Student)
Amelia (Student)
Zelgadis (Student)
Gourry (Student)
And many random cameos!
Lina:What's the gag *this* time?
MV:Gag? :Looks around:: I didn't gag anybody!
Lina:I mean the gag of the fanfic baka!
MV:Oh you mean the *gag*. Well it's probably the most boring and
uncreative idea EVER.
Lina:Just say it already!
MV:You guys are going to High School!
Lina:WHAT?
MV:With Xelloss as a principal!
Xelloss:Sounds fun to me ^_^
Lina:Oh shut up!
***********
Episode 1:Welcome to hell...errr I mean Mazoku High!
::The camera zooms in on a rather small black building with red letters
"Mazoku High School" appearing on the front. Lina, Gourry, Amelia and
Zelgadis were all trudging towards the building, as were many other
random students::
Lina:I can't believe he's making us do this!
Amelia:Majin-san is really really unjust!
Zelgadis:Let's get this stupid thing over with.
::The four of them enter the building and all head to the classroom of
every bodies favorite Trickster Priest::
::Suddenly an annoying voice booms over a speaker::
Voice of Nahga:You've got only 30 seconds to get to class! If you're
late you will be dealt with! AHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Lina: ::Grunts:: Don't tell me *she* got a part in this fic as well.
Gourry:Who got what?
Lina:Nevermind jellyfish brain!
Voice of Nahga: ::Booms over the speaker again:: No I am not Nahga the
White Serpent! AHOHOHOHO! NOW GET TO CLASS!
Lina: ::Sweatdrops::
Zelgadis:Oh this is already too stupid to bear.
Lina:You said it! ::Lina-tachi rush into Xelloss' classroom as a very
loud, ear piercing bell sounds::
::Xelloss' room is decorated with purple paper. Xelloss is writing some
random things on the board when he hears the bell::
Xelloss: ::Turns around:: Why hello class! ::Looks around at everyone
standing up:: I suppose you need seats ne? ^_^
Gourry:Huh?
Amelia:Xelloss-san, why are you a teacher?
Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^
Amelia:I should have seen that one coming.
Xelloss:Sit where ever you want to. I got to go do something. ^_^
::Teleports out of the room::
::A voice booms from nowhere again::
Voice of Nahga:And now for the morning announcements with Principal
Xelloss!
::Lina and company all sweatdrop as Xelloss' voice starts coming from
nowhere::
Voice of Xelloss:Welcome everyone to your first and only day at Mazoku
High! ^_^
Amelia:What does Xelloss-san mean by only day?
Lina:He means that this fic is only going to be one chapter long.
Amelia:Oh.
Voice of Xelloss:As you all probably don't know, this school only has
ten classrooms, a cafeteria, and a gymnasium. That's all ^_^.
Zelgadis:....
Voice of Xelloss:Anyway I hope you all enjoy your first day at this
great edifice of education! Now Fibrizo-san will give you the lunch
menu!
::Loud cracking sounds and an occasional explosion are heard over the
loudspeaker::
Voice of Fibrizo:Today's lunch menu is Mandragora Soup courtesy of his
fruitiness, Principal Xelloss. That's all for these stupid
announcements. Now prepare to be tortured!
::The sound of Fibrizo's last word dissipates over the course of a
minute. Xelloss teleports back into the classroom::
Lina:OH I'M GONNA KILL THE AUTHOR WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM!!!!!
Amelia:Calm down Lina-san.
Lina: ::Glares at Amelia::
Xelloss:Oh yes please do calm down Lina-san! ^_^
Lina:SHUT UP!
Xelloss:That's a tad bit disrespectful! ^_^
Lina: ::Glares evilly at Xelloss::
Zelgadis:Can we get this over with already?
Xelloss:Sure Zel-kun ^_^.
***********
Zelgadis:Is there a point to this?
MV:Well yeah sorta yeah...
Zelgadis:What's that?
MV:The point is to make this fanfic so I can rule the world!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Zelgadis:Baka.
MV:MWAHAHAHA....::Blinks:: Hey I'm not a baka!
Zelgadis:...
MV:Stop using those periods!
Zelgadis:What?
MV:Uhhh I dunno.
Zelgadis:Baka!
***********
Episode 2:The Title of Episode 2 is a Secret! ^_^
Xelloss:Ok class sit down. ^_^
Gourry:Do we even have seats yet?
Lina:No we don't Gourry.
Gourry:Why not?
Lina:Because we don't Gourry.
Gourry:Ooooooh.
Xelloss:Ok ^_^ Lina-san just sit over there ::Points to a desk near a
few loose nails:: Don't worry the wall won't collapse anytime soon! ^_^
Lina:Anytime soon? ::Looks about ready to kill Xelloss::
Xelloss:What's the matter Lina-san? ^_^
Lina:I'm sooooo gonna kill the author! ::Walks over to her seat and
glares at Xel::
Xelloss:My my what a pleasant reaction. ^_^
Gourry:But she always reacts that way Xelloss.
Lina:SHUT UP BAKA! ::Gets up and hits Gourry over the head, then sits
back down::
Gourry:Ouch!
Xelloss: ::Continues as if nothing every happened:: Ok, Gourry-san you
can sit over there. ^_^. ::Points to a desk that looks like it's ready
to fall apart:: The desk shouldn't break when you're sitting in it
Gourry. ^_^
Gourry: ::Walks over to his seat:: Ummm isn't this a bit unsafe?
Zelgadis:He actually has a little intelligence after all.
Lina:Who would have thought?
Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^
Gourry:Oh in that case. ::Sits down and wobbles on the seat a bit::
Xelloss:Yes yes. Zel-kun you can sit over the...
Zelgadis:Don't even think about it.
Xelloss:Alright fine. ::Points to a desk that sits under a light that is
about to fall off the ceiling:: Sit there ^_^.
Zelgadis:If that falls on me I sue. ::Walks over to his seat and sits
down:: This is so stupid.
Xelloss: ::Gives all of the other students seats except for Amelia:: Ok
now I guess class can begin! ^_^
Amelia:Ummm Xelloss-san, what about me?
Xelloss:Oh Amelia I almost forgot about you! ^_^ Your seat is right next
to the pit that has several rabid dogs on the bottom of it. ^_^ ::Points
to the aforementioned seat::
Amelia:But Xelloss-san that's inhumane!
Xelloss:Oh well ^_^
Amelia: ::Walks over to her seat and sits down:: And it's really unjust
too!
Xelloss:Do you want to fail Amelia-san? ^_^
Amelia:No.
Xelloss:Then don't give me any long justice speeches. ^_^
Amelia:Majin-san is going to get it for this!
Lina:You said it!
Zelgadis: ::Watching the light above him:: Who built this?
Xelloss:Oh I believe I built the school Zel-kun. ^_^
Zelgadis:I should have known.
Xelloss:What does that mean? ^_^
Zelgadis:Don't talk fruitcake.
Xelloss:Ok fine ^_^.
::Xelloss stops talking and the room goes completely quiet::
::Some plaster falls off the wall next to Lina::
Lina:THAT'S IT! ::Gets up:: I'm glad you can build as good as you cook
Xel! ::The wall collapses and falls on the desk Lina was just at::
::Xelloss doesn't say anything::
Lina:Why aren't you saying anything?
::Xelloss still doesn't say anything::
Zelgadis:Probably because I told him not to talk.
::Xelloss nods::
Lina: ::Sweatdrops:: TALK YOU IDIOT!
Xelloss:Ok ok. ^_^ Thanks for the complement by the way Lina-san.
Lina:That's all you can say?
Xelloss:Oh no I can say much more then "Thanks for the complement by the
way Lina-san." ^_^
Lina: ::Sweatdrops again:: FIREBALL! ::Hits Xelloss with the spell::
Xelloss: ::Brushes the ash off of himself:: Violence isn't the answer
Lina-san! ^_^
::The rest of the students start chanting some random obscene words at
Lina::
Amelia:That isn't such a good idea guys.
Gourry: ::Hides under desk:: Yeah you shouldn't have done that.
Zelgadis: ::Walks away from his desk:: Well we all know what's going to
happen now.
Xelloss: ::Teleports out of the classroom::
Lina:DARKNESS BEYOND TWILIGHT....
::Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis all get out of Lina's way::
Lina:CRIMSON BEYOND BLOOD THAT FLOWS!
::The students still chant their obscene words. Some of them laugh at
Lina. All of them are completely baffled and therefore are laughing
because of that::
Lina:Etc etc etc. DRAGU SLAVE! ::Fires the spell at the students and
they all die. And most of Xelloss' classroom is destroyed as well::
Xelloss: ::Teleports back in his now destroyed classroom:: You know
that's at least a detention Lina-san. ^_^
Lina:OH SHUT UP!
Xelloss:Very well. ^_^
Amelia:Xelloss-san please don't use that joke again!
Xelloss:Alright. ^_^
::Suddenly the shrill bell rings and everyone has to shield their ears::
::Lina-tachi, now including the greatest Trickster Priest (of all
time!), go to Valgaav's classroom::
***********
Valgaav:I better get that Pikachu card you promised me!
MV:Uhhh I never promised you anything Val-san.
Valgaav:$%#@ yeah you did!
MV:I never did so in my life.
Valgaav:Fine then I quit this %^$&ing fanfic!
MV:Ha! You can't quit!
Valgaav:Watch me!
MV: ::Watches Valgaav:: You aren't doing anything.
Valgaav:$%^%#&^%#@^#%%$&^%&%#^%
MV:What's that?
Valgaav:I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you.
MV:Oh alright. ::Hands Val a card:: Here is the stupid card.
Valgaav: ::Looks at the card:: YAY!
MV: ::Sweatdrops::
***********
Episode 3:@#$!@%$^#&*&#%@@$# still isn't a word Val!
Xelloss: ::Looks up at the title:: The title is right,
@#$!@%$^#&*&#%@@$# still isn't a word! ^_^
Zelgadis: ::Sarcastically:: Thank you Xelloss.
Xelloss:You're welcome Zel-kun! ^_^
Lina:This is going to be a looooooooooooong fanfic.
::The sound of a laugh comes from nowhere and then subsides::
Amelia:What was that Lina-san?
Lina:I bet you that was that idiot Majin Vegeta laughing! I'M GONNA KILL
HIM!!!!
Gourry:Are we almost there?
Xelloss:We sure are! ^_^
::As if on cue a classroom appears out of nowhere. Valgaav is leaning on
a nearby wall making comments to all the girls who pass by his sight::
Zelgadis:Why do we always have to end up in Majin's stupid
fanfics?
Amelia:Zelgadis-san you mean you don't know?
Zelgadis:No I don't know Amelia, that's why I asked.
::Valgaav suddenly walks into his classroom for no apparent reason::
::A voice booms over the speaker::
Voice of MV:Because it's fun to mess with you guys! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
::Soon another voice booms over the speak::
Voice of Tasuki:Hey you baka Majin, stop messing with the speaker!
::Clears throat:: I'm making a cameo!
Voice of MV:No Tasuki you can't make a cameo in this fic!!!! NO!
Voice of Tasuki:Oh yeah? Rekka Shien! ::The sound of fire comes through
the speaker and it clicks off, for now::
Zelgadis: ::Sweatdrops:: Well that was stupid.
Lina:Good that baka author got fried like he deserved! I'M STILL GONNA
KILL HIM THOUGH!
Zelgadis:Down Lina.
Lina: ::Bearing anime type fangs:: Oh shut up Zel!
Xelloss: ::Clears throat:: Did anyone notice how the bell didn't ring
yet? ^_^
Amelia:Yeah that's kind of weird isn't it Xelloss-san?
::As if on cue that shrill bell sounds again and Lina-tachi cover their
ears::
::Valgaav peaks out of his classroom::
Valgaav:GET THE $%#% IN HERE!
Xelloss:Val $%#% isn't a word. ^_^
Valgaav:SHUT THE $%#% UP FRUITCAKE!
Xelloss:Oh be nice Val-kun, I'm your boss. ^_^
Valgaav: ::Veins pop out of Val's head:: I'M GOING TO KILL THAT BAKA
MAJIN!
Lina:That's the spirit!
::Lina-tachi walk into Valgaav's classroom and are surprised to see that
it's not decorated at all::
Amelia:Why is it all white in here Valgaav-san?
Valgaav:Because we're on a low budget. We also don't have seats so
you'll have to sit on the floor.
::A bunch of students are already sitting on the floor::
Zelgadis:At least this one isn't falling apart.
::Suddenly the floor under a random student falls apart and he falls
into a river that happened to be flowing under the school and dies::
Amelia:Zelgadis-san don't ever say things like that!
Lina:Yeah Zel I thought you knew Majin would just make it happen.
Valgaav:Ok so the floor needs a little work ::Sweatdrops::
Xelloss:Silly half Ryozoku-Mazoku! ^_^
Valgaav:WHAT THE $%#% ARE YOU %$&#ING TALKING ABOUT YOU $%^#ING
FRUITCAKE!?!?!?!?!
Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^
Valgaav: ::Punches Xelloss in the face:: STUPID FRUITCAKE!
Gourry:How come I don't have any lines?
::As if on cue a voice booms over the loud speaker::
Voice of MV:Because I can't think of anything funny for you to say!
Gourry:Why not?
Voice of MV:Because!
Gourry:Why not?
Voice of MV:Uhhh I'm not gonna explain this to you uhhh hey Tasukiiii!
::The sound over the loudspeaker cracks and some more fire sounds can be
heard::
Voice of Tasuki:What?
Voice of MV:@_@ Do you have to burn me with that thing all the time? Anyway
come here!
Voice of Tasuki:Fine.
Gourry:Huh?
Voice of Tasuki:What does Gourry want?
Voice of MV:Errr gotta run! ::The sound of a car driving away is heard::
Voice of Tasuki:Oh boy. ::Turns off the loud speaker::
Gourry:I'm confused.
Lina:Don't worry Gourry you didn't miss anything worthwhile!
Zelgadis:This is the worst fic I ever been in.
Valgaav:I bet you Majin can make it a hell of a lot worse!
Zelgadis:I suppose so.
Xelloss:I think this episode is about to end! ^_^
Amelia:How do you know that Xelloss-san?
Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu!
Amelia:I should have known.
::Then that loud bell sounds, it's more like a torture device then a
bell. Ok so instead the torture device sounds.::
::Lina-tachi, now including Valgaav so the fic can have more jokes in
it, goes to the next classroom, which happened to be Filia's::
::Twilight Zone music booms over the loud speaker for no apparent
reason::
***********
Filia:Was that music supposed to be making fun of me?
MV:Ummm....::Slinks away slowly:: what music Filia-chan?
Filia: ::Proceeds to hit MV with her mace::
MV:Owie owie owie.
***********
Episode 4:More random cameos!
Lina:What's up with that eerie music?
Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^
Lina: ::Hits Xelloss over the head:: Oh shut up!
Xelloss:Will do. ^_^
::All of the students roaming the halls were now in their classrooms::
Zelgadis:Here we go with the ten minute bell again.
::Lina-tachi found their way outside Filia's classroom. The lights in
her classroom were currently turned off::
Gourry:Why are the lights off in there?
Amelia:Gourry-san she didn't get to the room yet.
Gourry:Oh.
::A voice booms over the loud speaker::
Voice of Cell:Will Majin Vegeta report to the office?
Voice of Tasuki:Yo Cell! He's gone!
Voice of Cell:WHAT?!?!? ::Suddenly the sound of a building collapsing
boomed over the loud speaker::
Voice of Tasuki: :Tasuki sweatdrops:: Did you have to fly through the
ceiling?
::The loud speaker turns off::
Zelgadis: ::Sweatdrops:: This school is a nut house.
Xelloss:Why thank you. ^_^
::Filia runs to her classroom and unlocks the door::
Filia:I can't believe that I'm so late!
Xelloss: ::Chuckles:: Drink too much tea Filia-san?
Filia: ::Turns around at the sound of Xelloss' voice:: NAMAGOMI! ::Hits
Xel on the head with her handy dandy Xelloss whacking stick (aka her
mace)::
::Nobody notices Xelloss getting hit and Filia opens the door and turns
on the lights in her room. Soon after Lina-tachi enter::
Valgaav:What the $%#@ kind of room is this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
::The room is decorated in every color except for purple::
Filia:It's a colorful room. Valgaav-san I thought I asked you to stop
cursing around the students.
::For some reason the classroom was already filled with students. How
they got in is a secret::
Lina: ::Reading the last statement in colons:: That made no sense at
all!
Zelgadis:Nothing about Majin's fics make sense.
Lina:Good point Zel!
Amelia:That's not true guys! Some of Majin-san's fics make sense!
Zelgadis:Name one then.
Amelia:Ummmm.
Zelgadis:Exactly.
::Suddenly those voices boom out of the loud speaker again::
Voice of Cell:HAHAHAHA! I got you now Majin! Now get back down there!
::Sounds of fires, explosions, car accidents, broken glass, some N'Sync
songs, and all things horrible play over the loud speaker::
Voice of MV:Geez that really hurt you big bully!
Voice of Cell:Oh shut up!
Voice of MV:Anyway uhhh my fics do make sense!
Voice of Tasuki:I know where all the other sounds came from but where in
the world did the crappy songs come from?
Voice of MV:I have no idea Tasuki.
Voice of Freezer:I played that music! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Voice of MV:AHHHHH it's a ummmmm....I don't know what it is!!!! KILL IT!
Voice of Tasuki:Rekka Shien! ::The sounds of fire fill the loud speaker
now::
Voice of Freezer:I'm meeeeeeeeeeelting.
::The loud speaker flips off::
Filia: ::Sweatdrops:: This school gets weirder and weirder as the day
goes on.
Zelgadis:That's nothing new for Majin's fics.
Xelloss:How true! ^_^
Filia:Anyway you guys can take seats over there. ::Points to an empty
section of seats::
::Lina-tachi walk over to their seats. A random student spontaneously
combusts::
Valgaav:What's up with the combustion?
Amelia:Valgaav-san what are you talking about?
Valgaav:The kid that just suddenly combusted!
Lina:You're losing it Val!
Valgaav:I seen it with my own eyes damn it!
Gourry:Seen what?
Valgaav:The combustion you BAKA!
Gourry:The who?
Valgaav: ::Screams::
Xelloss:That could be misinterpreted Val-kun! ^_^
Valgaav: ::Cringes:: SHUT THE !@#$%!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%!@#$% UP
FRUITCAKE!
Xelloss:Notice Majin's pattern of !@#$%. ^_^
::The loud speaker comes on for a second::
Voice of MV:HEEEEEEEEEY! No one was supposed to notice that!
Xelloss:Don't worry about it Majin-san, no one did. ^_^
Voice of MV:Oh okay. ::Loud speaker flicks off::
Filia:I'm supposed to teach you about the dangers of staying up past
nine.
Lina:WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Filia: ::Looks at her lesson plan:: That's what it says. ::Looks at more
closely and can see Xelloss signed his name to it:: NAMAGOMI!!!!
Xelloss: ::Looks up:: Yeah? ^_^
Filia: ::Pulls her mace out from under her skirt and whacks Xelloss over
the head with it::
::Some students start cheering and they all spontaneously combust at the
same time::
Valgaav:Look more people combusted!
Zelgadis:It's probably the room.
::Amelia is about to ask a question but Lina holds her hand over her
mouth::
Lina:No Amelia don't!
Amelia: ::Asks her question anyway:: Did anyone notice how the bell
didn't ring yet?
Lina:Oh no! ::Covers ears, as does the rest of Lina-tachi::
::Suddenly the torture device for class to start rings. Then when
everyone can't hear anything the loud speaker comes on again::
Voice of MV:MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Voice of Tasuki:Will you stop laughing like that?
Voice of MV:Ok fine! AHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Voice of Nahga:Hey that's patented!
Voice of MV:Where did you come from?
Voice of Nahga:I just got back from my lunch.
Voice of MV:Oh ok.
Voice of Cell:Majin you're an idiot!
Voice of MV:Why's that?
Voice of Cell:Because you are.
Voice of MV:Maybe I should stop ringing the bell now.
Voice of Tasuki:Oh good idea.
::The sound of the bell (aka the torture device) dissipates::
Voice of MV:Uhhh now ummm get to class students!
Lina:WE ARE ALREADY IN CLASS YOU IDIOT!
Voice of MV:Oh well then ummmm uhhh good job!
::The loud speaker turns off::
::Sweatdrops form behind the heads of Lina-tachi::
Xelloss:Well now what do we do? ^_^
Everyone but Xelloss:Sore wa himitsu desu!
Xelloss:Very well then. ^_^
::The torture device sounds again::
Filia:I guess that means class is over?
Lina:Guess so.
::Lina-tachi, now including Filia for no apparent reason wandered to the
cafeteria. It was lunch time and two certain characters were really
hungry::
::A voice comes over the loud speaker, which for sake of my sanity isn't
going to go off anymore unless I say so::
Voice of MV:It's the end of the episode!
Voice of Nahga:AHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Voice of MV:Stop laughing like that Nahga! It's so scary!
Voice of Cell:Not as scary as that ummm....thing I killed.
Voice of MV:True true.
Zelgadis ::Sweatdrops:: Why don't they just go away?
Voice of MV:I heard that!
***********
Fibrizo:Great goggly moggily! This fanfic is long!
MV: ::Blinks:: Great *what*?
Fibrizo:Great goggly moggily!
MV:Uhhh uh-huh. ::Sweatdrops:: Only two more episodes to go!
Fibrizo:Gee wilickers!
MV:Stop talking like that!
Fibrizo:Alright fine.
MV:By the way Fibrizo-sama....ummm you're gonna be introduced last
again. Heh.
Fibrizo:WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
MV:Heh.
Fibrizo:I'M SO GONNA KILL YOU!
MV:Errr ummm anyway, we take you readers ::Big fake smile:: back to your
regularly scheduled fanfic by the greatest author of all time!
Fibrizo:You mean Shakesphere right?
MV:No I meant me!
Fibrizo: ::Laughs hysterically:: That's a good one!
MV: ::Sweatdrops:: It wasn't a joke!
Fibrizo: ::Laughs even more:: You're killing me!
***********
Episode 5:Lunch Time with Blind Guys!
Xelloss:That title gives everything away! ^_^
Voice of MV:SHUT UP FRUITCAKE!
Voice of Tasuki:SHUT UP PSYCHO!
Voice of MV:Will do!
Xelloss:^_^
Lina:I'm surrounded by idiots!
Zelgadis:That *we* are Lina, that we are.
Lina:We?
Zelgadis:As in me included.
Lina:Oh yeah I guess we're surrounded by idiots then.
Filia and Amelia:Lina-san!
Lina:What?
Filia and Amelia:How dare you call us idiots!
Lina:Not including you two either.
Valgaav:Yeah right, you weridos!
Xelloss:Did you call Val-kun? ^_^
Valgaav:Shut up %$#@ing fruitcake!
::Lina-tachi make there way to the crowded cafeteria where a few dozen
tables sit. At these tables are a bunch of students. All of the tables
are filled except for one, where Rezo the red priest is sitting alone::
Amelia:Why is Rezo sitting alone?
Zelgadis:More importantly, why is he even alive?
Voice of MV:Because I said so!
Voice of Cell:Not good enough! ::Calls for one of his friends::
Voice of MV:Wanna fight?
Voice of Cell:Sure!
Voice of MV:Not literally Cell-sama.
::Lina-tachi are now just ignoring any sound from the loud speaker::
Lina:Who cares? I'm too hungry to think about that!
Gourry:Yeah me too!
Filia:Lina-san, Gourry-san, remember what's on the lunch menu today?
Lina:What?
Gourry:Yeah what?
Filia:Namagomi's Mandragora Soup. ::Facefaults::
Lina: ::Blanches:: What else?
Xelloss:There are some small snacks as well. ^_^ Such as donuts,
Doritos(tm), Cheetos(tm), Trickster Priest Puffs(tm), popcorn and
crackers.
Lina:Trickster Priest whats?
Xelloss:Trickster Priest Puffs! ::Pulls out a bag from hammerspace::
They taste like a million secrets! ::Smiles and teeth sparkle::
Valgaav:Riiiiiiiight. You should call em fruitcake bars.
Zelgadis:Can we just get this fic over with?
Voice of MV:How many times do you say that?
Zelgadis:....
Voice of Suzuka:Hey Cell!
Voice of Cell:Suzuka you made it!
Voice of Suzuka:You want me to assassinate someone?
Voice of Cell:Yeah...::Whispers something::
Voice of Suzuka:Will do.
Voice of MV:Gulp!
::The loud speaker then turns off for some reason::
Amelia:Do you think they're going to kill Majin-san, Lina-san?
Lina:No way! If they wanted to do that they would have done it already!
Amelia:Good point.
Zelgadis:Who cares?
Gourry:Who cares about what?
Zelgadis:Nothing Gourry, nothing.
Gourry:Alright then!
::Since Lina-tachi has no where else to sit, they sit the table where
Rezo is at. Ironically enough Zel is forced to sit next to Rezo, Filia
is forced to sit next to Gourry, Valgaav is forced to sit next to
Xelloss and Lina sits next to Amelia. All of the other students gasp
simultaneously when they see Lina-tachi sitting next to Rezo::
Rezo: ::Looking around:: Oh lookie who is sitting at my table, it's some
*idiot* students and some *deadbeat* teachers. Pity pity.
Xelloss:Val-kun I think he likes you. ^_^
Valgaav:$*&%*&%*&%$@#@#@$#%@#$@$%$%#%$$@@##%&$&*&#&&***&#@&
Xelloss:That's one isn't a word either Val-kun. ^_^
Valgaav:SHUT UP FRUITCAKE!
Gourry:What is Rezo talking about Filia?
Filia:What does it sound like to you Gourry?
Gourry:Like he's threatening us! ::Gets up and unsheathes his sword of
light:: Light come fo...
Filia: ::Pulls Gourry down to his seat:: No don't do that!
Gourry:Why not?
Filia:You'll only get him mad!
Amelia:Lina-san I thought you killed Rezo?
Lina:I did! BUT THE STUPID AUTHOR KEEPS BRINGING HIM BACK TO LIFE!
Amelia:Oh ok. Majin-san isn't stupid though!
Lina:You're kidding right?
Amelia:No! Majin-san is unjust but not stupid!
Lina: ::Sweatdrops:: Yeah whatever Amelia.
Zelgadis: ::Looks at his great grandfather/grandfather:: You evil evil
man you!
Rezo:Yeeees?
Zelgadis:I'm going to kill you Rezo! ::Gets up and unsheathes his
sword::
::The entire student body in the cafeteria gasps simultaneously again::
Rezo:You're going to kill me? That's amusing. ::Gets out of his seat and
all the students flee out of the cafeteria:: That's a laugh!
Zelgadis:RA TILT! ::Fires the spell at Rezo but he just blocks it::
::Amelia gets in a cheerleader's outfit::
Amelia:Zel-kun Zel-kun he's our chimera if he can't do it
uhhhh....Lina-san probably can!
::Suddenly the loud speaker blares on once again::
Voice of MV:So you mean to tell me you wanted Bill Gates dead the entire
time Cell?
Voice of Cell:Yep.
Voice of MV:Why didn't you do it yourself.
Voice of Cell:I'm lazy. I just figured I'd have Suzuka do it.
Voice of Suzuka:No problem for a friend like you Cell! Now as for pay...
Voice of Cell:Oh here! ::The sound of a lot of coins jingling around is
heard::
Voice of Tasuki:Yo Majin!
Voice of MV:Whaaaaat?
Voice of Tasuki:Remember your fanfic?
Voice of MV:Yeah.
Voice of Tasuki:Then finish it!
Voice of MV:Yeah yeah. Stupid bossy bandit.
Voice of Tasuki:Rekka Shien! ::The sounds of fire fill the loud speaker
once again::
Voice of MV:Haha you missed me!
Voice of Nahga:Owie. ::The sound of a person collapsing goes over the
loud speaker::
Lina:Hey Majin! SHUT UP ALREADY!
::The loud speaker turns off again::
Rezo:Well I dunno if I'm going to fight you now, since you do seem to
have an adoring fan my grandson.
Zelgadis:Oh shove it old man! ::Charges at Rezo with his sword::
Xelloss:The suspense is killing me. ^_^
Valgaav: ::Elbows Xel in the chest:: Shut up! ::Goes back to eating his
popcorn::
::For no reason at all a kid runs into the cafeteria and goes in between
Zel and Rezo::
Kid:Break it up!
Zelgadis:Who are you?
Kid:I am the peacemaker!
Rezo:Shoo! ::Snaps fingers and that kid bursts into blue flames and dies
a slow, horrible death::
Lina:How did you do that?
Rezo:I got extra author powers.
::Zelgadis puts his arm around Rezo's shoulder::
Zelgadis:Maybe you aren't so bad after all.
::The two of them walk out of the cafeteria slowly and when Rezo least
expects it, Zel stabs him in the back (literally!)::
Rezo: ::Falls to the ground:: Why Zel? Whhhhhhhhhhhy?
Zelgadis:Sore wa himitsu desu!
Xelloss:That's my line! ^_^
Zelgadis:Shut up! I'm trying to be dramatic!
Rezo:NOOOOOOO! ::Disappears in a puff of green smoke::
::The loud speaker comes on::
Voice of MV:Deju vu!
Voice of Cell:SHUT UP MORON!
Voice of MV:Oh ho hum!
::The loud speaker clicks off::
::Lina-tachi all eat some Trickster Priest Puffs and walk out of the
cafeteria::
Filia:I think the fic is almost over guys!
Lina:Oh thank god!
Kami:You're welcome!
::Nobody pays attention to the lame joke I just did::
Amelia: ::Now in her normal clothes:: You know what that means?
Gourry:No what?
Amelia:It means this episode is about to end Gourry-san!
Gourry:Oh.
::The torture device sounds and all of the students who were now in the
gym eating stormed to their next classes. So Lina-tachi set off to their
final class, Fibrizo's room::
***********
Amelia:It's almost over right Majin-san?
MV:Yes my justice loving friend!
Amelia:Good. Oh by the way Majin-san, can you do me a favor?
MV:What?
Amelia:Please don't write any more Slayers humor fics!
MV:I can never do that and you know it!
Amelia:That's what I was afraid of.
***********
Episode 6:Time for Fibrizo to take the stage!
::As Lina-tachi was getting closer to Fibrizo's classroom, they all
could hear random screams::
Amelia:You don't think that's Fibrizo-san do you?
Zelgadis:It probably is.
Amelia:I wonder what Fibrizo-san is doing to those poor people?
::That loud torture device rings on cue and all of the students who were
in Fibrizo's classroom look ill. Two random kids converse among
themselves::
Kid 1:I can't belive Fibrizo-san made us read all of that garbage!
Kid 2:No one deservises that!
::Those kids disappear in the halls::
Lina:I bet I know what Fibrizo made those guys read. Poor poor guys.
Gourry:What Lina?
Lina:It's just too horrible to say!
Xelloss:I belive what Lina-chan is trying to say is that they were
forced to read all of Majin's fanfics! Every single one! ^_^
::A voice comes over the loud speaker::
Voice of MV:HEY! My fics aren't that bad!
Voice of Cell:Who told you that lie?
Voice of MV:Millions of rabid fans!
Voice of Cell:Majin I thought you knew imaginary fans don't count!
Voice of MV:WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Voice of Cell:Nothing.
::The loud speaker turns off::
Xelloss:They're so silly. ^_^
Valgaav:Fruitcake.
::Fibrizo walks out of his classroom and looks at Lina-tachi evilly::
Fibrizo:Come in to my chamber of absolute horror! Errr..I mean come to
class *now*!
::Lina-tachi all enter Fibrizo's classroom for some unexplained reason
as do a bunch of other students.::
::The walls in Fibrizo's classroom were all jet black and they had
yellow and red pieces of paper attached to them that emulated flames.
Also hanging on his walls was the phrase, "Welcome to my hell." in red
letters::
Lina: ::Sweatdrops:: Why am I not surprised?
Filia:I hate Mazoku!!!!
Fibrizo: ::Smirks:: Good for you! Now class sit down!
::The torture device rings and all the students, including Lina-tachi,
sit down in some random seats they picked out::
::Fibrizo walked to the front of his classroom::
Fibrizo:Ok class what is the capital of Syria? You! ::Points at a random
student::
Random Student 1:Uhhh I don't know ummmm ::Scratches head:: Japan?
Fibrizo:Wrong! ::Makes the random students life orb appear:: You die!
::Crushes the life orb and he dies::
Amelia:Fibrizo-san that's unjust!
Fibrizo:Oh well Amelia. Live with it! Or die with it if you want. Up to
you really.
Amelia:....
Zelgadis:....
Xelloss:Wow the peanut gallery really got quiet lately! ^_^
Valgaav:SHUT UP FRUITCAKE!
Fibrizo:Ahem ::Clears throat:: Ok you, what is the capital of Syria?
::Points at another random student::
Random Student 2:Da Mazoku High Football team rules! We're gonna beat
the New England Patriots cause they sux! WOOOOOOO! ::Jumps up out of his
seat and waves arms around in the air::
Fibrizo:Uhhh riiiight. ::Does the same thing he did with the first
random student and kills this one as well::
::The rest of the class is now only narrowed down to Lina-tachi::
Lina:Stop killing people!
Fibrizo:Why?
Lina:Just stop! ::Starts chanting the words to the Dragu Slave::
Fibrizo:Oh I guess I will stop then. Heh...::Runs out of his classroom
really fast::
Lina:There! ::Claps hands together:: Now I'm the teacher!
Zelgadis:Not really.
Lina:Shut up Zel!
Gourry:What's a teacher?
Lina:Definitely not you Gourry!
Gourry:Oh ok good then.
Xelloss:So that's another detention for trying to kill a teacher Lina.
^_^
Lina:SHUT UP XEL! DIGU BOLT!
Xelloss: ::Gets a shocking experience:: Oh I guess I'm hit. ^_^
::Suddenly the torture device rings one last time and Lina-tachi walk
out of the classroom and towards the exits, where Fibrizo happens to be
standing.::
Fibrizo:Yo Lina! I'm make you a deal, cast the Giga Slave and I'll buy
you a month worth of dinners!
Amelia:Don't be silly Fibrizo-san, Lina-san will never be persuaded that
easily....::Sweatdrops when Lina agrees with Fibrizo and the two of them
walk off into the sunset::
Xelloss:Looks like you were wrong Amelia. ^_^ Don't worry about that,
I'll go buy you a soda. ^_^
Amelia:Uhhh ok Xelloss-san! ::Xelloss and Amelia walk off into the
sunset::
Gourry:What's going on?
Zelgadis:I don't know.
Filia:I bet this was all one of Xelloss' tricks! ::Growls::
NAMAGOMIIIII! ::Runs off into the sunset with her mace drawn, every now
and then hitting Xelloss over the head with it::
Zelgadis:Looks like it's just use left. ::Sweatdrops::
Gourry:Wanna play a game?
Zelgadis:Sure I need to win. ::Zel and Gourry walk off in the sunset as
well::
::This would have been the ending except for one little thing. The
camera zooms in on the office, the source of all the voices from the
loud speaker::
MV:Geez that was one looooong day.
Cell:No kidding, by the way thanks for the cash.
MV:No prob. See ya Cell! ::Cell leaves::
Tasuki:Don't ever write another fanfic like this Majin. See ya.
MV:Ummm ok I guess so. ::Tasuki leaves::
Nahga:I have nothing to say here. Bye. AHOHOHOHOHOHO!
MV:Yeah bye. ::Sweatdrops as Nahga leaves::
::Suzuka and MV stare at each other for several seconds::
MV:You leaving?
Suzuka:You first.
MV:No I insist...you first.
Suzuka:I'm not going to kill you or something.
MV:Fine! ::Leaves, then Suzuka does::
::The fanfic then ends happily (sorta) ever after::
********
Ooooook that was a long fic! But anyway give me feedback for it! I want
your feedback! The person who is the third to give me feedback will win
a brand new car!!!!!