Kero (the weird little lion thing from that one children's show Cardcaptor Sakura, you know, the one that looks like the yellow, push, teddy bear, lion, doll, thing with the white wings and weird attitude. I never really liked the guy but he was kind of the mascot of the show, so I guess he is here for now) blood soaked and unable to move his lower limbs was dragging himself through the underbrush using his arms and the occasional twitch of his now numb wings. The sound of crunching gravel terrified him more than the thought of his imminent death. The light off the barrel of the shotgun glinted menacingly, blinding Kero. Through the light, he could only see the darkened outline of a woman holding a shotgun.

"Why are you trying to kill me, we are here to use the CLOW CARDS for friendship and magic!" Kero begged. (Some people may even consider friendship to be magic, but Sarah Pailin doesn't believe in something so un-'Merican and un Jebus-like as friendship).

"I'm sorry I only speak the language of freedom and apple pie… 'Merican! Not your Chinese gook-speak. Eh!" Sara Pailin said moments before she ended Kero's non patriotic commie life by pulling the trigger to fire an arrow straight into his communism filled heart.

"Alas, I am slain. Forgive me Cardcaptor Sakura! It has been a great life you and I have shared. O' how I wish we could continue to…" Kero exclaimed as he entered his 10 minute soliloquy, which is too boring for us to go into right now.

"Achoo!" sneezed Sakura in a way that all Japanese schoolgirls seem to sneeze when someone talks about them, which I'm not entirely sure why it happens but at least I can use it a good transition between Sahara Pailin and her. "I wonder who was talking about me and where Kero went. I'm only here because he told me there would be a good chance to practice using my CLOW CARDS." Said Sakura while looking around and finding the Republican Party nominee for vice president in the 2008 presidential election, Sahara Pailin.

"我々は、グーグルはこれらの引用符のために翻訳した。" said cardcaptor Sakura, asking who Sera Pailin was and why she was holding a gun with flaming arrows poking out from the barrel.

"What is this aboot? Timmy is stuck in a well? Eh?" asked SP (She is now SP because Sirya Pailin is hard to spell). "Hahaha, that was an American joke, Of course I understand Japanese. I'm just an 'Merrican here hunting exotic game. Eh!"

"すべてのあなたのベースが私たちに属している" said Sakura, relieved that there was no danger. "私はカメが好きです"said Sakura, asking her if they could form a Korean pop band that would grow big enough to get more YouTube likes and views than Psy's Gangnam Style (or 강남스타일 if you are actually Korean, in which case North Korea is bestest Korea).

SP thought it was a good way to spread Jebus and Freedom across the world by brainwashing the youth. By enjoying their all-'Merican Korean pop music in Japanese, the youth would see the light of apple-pie and frivolous lawsuits; they would give up their satanic atheism, and evil Buddhism-ism, and all around un-'Merican non-jebus loving religions and lifestyles, and stuff.

After many months of touring the not 'Merica places singing their hit song "Fwa-Fwa jebus-chan loves all the bakas, desu~" (or "どこでもディルド痛い。" for those uneducated commies), they reach the top of the charts everywhere, spreading their all-'Merican seed to youth everywhere. A potent seed that that impregnated many a youth with the greatest miracle of all, 'MERICAN PATRIOTISM!

The End