A/N: I have never written a Calzona story although I read all of them from you other great writers, but I was so disturbed by the preview for the coming episodes, I had to do this one. I do not believe Arizona would be who her daddy 'raised her to be' if she chooses a deceitful path, but sometimes bad things turn into good. This is what I hope we see from Grey's in the coming weeks...if not, my heart may break. I hope you enjoy.

And, of course, I own nothing...everything in ABC's and Shonda's. Thanks to them and to Sara and Jessica for bring to life two wonderful, rich characters.

Unfaithful

I stepped onto the elevator and politely acknowledged the woman already on board. She was attractive, a little taller than me in her heels, and about my age. I noticed her. I am married not dead. As the door closed and we began to ascend a sultry voice behind me says, "You are very attractive. Really beautiful, actually."

I can't help it. My face goes into full smile, dimple-popping, flirt mode. "Well, aren't you kind? Thank you. I could say the same about you….actually." She smiles at me. At me. I can't remember how long since a woman flirted with me…not feeling sorry for me but acting like she wanted me. A rush hit my stomach like nothing had in months.

"I'm Dr. Genevieve Fuller. I have a consult with your dermo attending about a research project we are considering at Portland Gen." She offered her hand to me, and I accepted. I held her hand a bit too long, and she held mine in a very friendly way. "I have a few minutes…can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

No. That is what I know I should say, but what could it hurt? "Sure. Sounds good…I could use a good cup of coffee." Now that my flirt switch is on, I can't seem to flip it off. "Let me show you my secret cart." With that I quickly stop the car at the next floor and reverse our path two floors to hit the lounge.

When we arrive, I pour both of us a cup and sit at a small table with my new friend. We talk for a few minutes casually about her upcoming meeting then; she asks an obvious question in a rather unique way. "What does that ring on your finger mean?"

Uh…I hesitate for a minute (why did I do that?). "It means I am married."

"No…that is what is symbolizes. I asked you what it means."

How do I answer that? "It means I have been married to my wonderful, supportive wife for almost three years. It means I have a beautiful daughter. It means…I shouldn't be here with you. I'm sorry, I've got to go." I stand up a little too fast and stumble into the table. Ginny (she said to call her) reaches out and catches me. She holds me a little too close.

"Arizona…there is no need to run off. I won't bite." She doesn't ask, if I'm ok. She doesn't try to help be right myself. She doesn't know I'm damaged. She thinks I'm beautiful and continues to flirt with me.

"I…uh…need to get to my office and get ready for an afternoon with interns."

"Let me go with you. I'd like to see your office..."

Damn, what am I doing? "Ok, it's just down the hall a bit." We walk in silence; I don't make eye contact with anyone in the hallway. My mind is racing with something I haven't felt in a while…desire, excitement, fear….life.

Once inside my office, I close the door. "Well, here it is. Not much, just an humble dwelling for a Peds attending."

She turns to me, in my personal space, and reaches out to touch my face. "Dr. Robbins. I want you. I know how to be discreet…I bet you do, too. I don't want marriage, don't want kids. I just like to fly sometimes. Don't you? Wouldn't it feel good to just fly for a little bit?"

I find myself mesmerized by her voice and her soft touch on my face. I've been dead for months…inside. This woman seems to be changing that. I unconsciously start leaning toward her. She takes my invitation and brings my face to hers and mates our lips. We begin kissing gently, but she pushes for more soon. My only thought?

She doesn't feel like Callie. She doesn't hold me like Callie. Suddenly she gets more aggressive and plunders at my mouth. Her free hand comes up inside my lab coat and begins to caress my breast. Not like Callie does it.

Dear, God…what am I doing? I love my wife. My WIFE. I am not this person. What the hell is happening to me?

"Stop!" I push her away from me firmly and step back. "I do not want this. I'm sorry. I really am…I…I didn't mean to let that happen. I think you should go."

She smirks at me and begins to come toward me, "Arizona…I don't think you really want me to go."

"Yes, I do. Dr. Fuller. I am married to the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, a woman who would move mountains for me. I would like you to leave. Now." Apparently this convinces her. She picks up her bag and begins to straighten herself. A knock on my door startles me.

"Hey babe! Want to go get some cof…Oh! Sorry, I didn't know you had a guest. I apologize. I can come back." Callie enters my office with her normal bright smile. But it begins to dim as she speaks and takes in the tension and scene in my office. I'm sure I look a tad disheveled and flushed, and I can clearly see Dr. Fuller is.

"Oh…no, no. It's fine. This is…a…Dr. Fuller. She is meeting with our dermo staff in a bit. I was just showing her around." I offer a plausible and partially truthful explanation. I cut my eyes to my guest and back to my wife. "This is my wife, Dr. Callie Torres."

Callie acknowledges the introduction, but she is clearly catching on to what has transpired here before she arrived and doesn't speak. Fuller does, "Nice to meet you Dr. Torres. Your wife is a very lovely woman. You are very fortunate to have her. Well, I should be going. Arizona this was a nice way to spend my down time while at Grey Sloan…meeting you that is. I'll be around for a couple of days, if you want to visit some more. Ladies…" And with that she leaves and shuts my door.

I keep my head down for a few moments not really wanting to face Callie. "Arizona. What the hell did I walk into? And do NOT insult me by saying nothing."

"I...uh." I took a deep breath and looked at my wife. "Callie sit down." She does…as far away from me as possible. "She kissed me…I kissed her. Nothing else. I had just told her to leave when you knocked." As painful as this was going to be, I did not want to compound the issue I had created by lying.

Callie sat board straight and grew angrier with each second that passed. "You kissed her? You f***ing kissed that woman?"

"Yes, Callie, I am so sorry. I don't know what happened…how I got here, but I stopped it. I don't want her."

"Shut up! Just shut the hell up Arizona! I don't want to hear you right now."

"Callie please. Let me talk to you. I am sorry…so, so sorry."

She jumps up. "No! You have been talking a lot for months. Rarely to me…you talk around me or yell at me, but I thought we were finally getting there. We have starting making love again. Ha! What the hell, Arizona. Now…you make out with another woman and NOW you want to talk to me? Well, screw you, Dr. Robbins!"

"Callie! I didn't make out with her. I stopped it…she wasn't you! I didn't want her. Please let's talk…please." The blaring of a pager sounded. My wife's.

"I've got to go. I can't deal with you now…can't deal with this. God damn you, Arizona!" Her last comment was punctuated with a slamming of my door.

All I can do is sit on my couch and cry. How did we get here? How did I get here?

Hours later, I am sitting on our couch at home with a sleeping Sophia in my arms when the door opens. Callie comes in and drops her stuff in her usual space. She comes to the living room and stands. When I look up, she is just looking at me. No emotion. Nothing.

"I just wanted to hold her for a while. She fell asleep almost an hour ago. I didn't know when you'd be done, so I didn't keep her up. Sorry."

"It is fine. Let me have her." She moves to take Sophia from my arms. "I will put her to bed."

"ok. I kept dinner for you, if you're hungry."
"Well, I'm not."

While Callie is putting Soph down, I pour her a glass of wine placing it on the coffee table in front of the place I assume she will sit. Not next to me on the couch. She comes back in, which I guess is a good thing, and sits down reaching for the glass.

"You wanted to talk…talk."

"She didn't know I was a cripple. She hadn't cleaned up after me when I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself. She didn't see a damaged person…she said I was beautiful." I spoke softly, but I needed to talk. We had to work through this. I look across at Callie to find her expression still emotionless, but I could tell she was listening to me. Listening for something that would make this understandable.

"Callie (*sob*)…I died out there. Every night I see the forest…I hear the screams. I died! I should have died! Dear God! WHY!? Mark is dead…I held him. I begged him to hang on! I told him you were waiting, and Sophia needed him. I told him I needed him. When did I start needing Mark Sloan?! He died!... Little Grey…she's dead! I watched them pull her body out…" I can't stop the wail that erupts from me. I sob and shake like I have never done. Not even when Tim died.

"Arizona! I KNOW. I sat here and cried and screamed at God for days praying they would find you. YOU! I thought you were dead. How was I going to raise Sophia alone! Then you were back, but you really weren't. My wife stayed in that forest!"

I somehow cry harder. "I died…I died…I died out there."

"NO! Shut up! No you didn't. I went back and forth between your room and Mark's. I watched him just lay there. His last real words were to you! Out there…And then I had to watch Webber pull the tubes and tell what was going to happen…like Derek and I were stupid! I sat there talking, cajoling, teasing…anything to get him to respond. But he was gone! Then…finally…I held him as the alarms went off. I touched his head and kissed him as he died." She was crying and yelling and ranting. She came closer to me as she spoke. "He died, Arizona! Mark died! You didn't damnit!"

"Callie, I don't know what to do…what do I do? I don't like me. I am not a quitter…or…or…a cheater. I am not unfaithful to my wife. I wasn't, but it feels like I was to have even been close to someone else. You should kick my ass." I take her hands now that she is close enough and look at her pleadingly. "I am so screwed up right now. I thought I was better…and I am sometimes. When I am here with you and Soph, I feel almost like me again. Then I get lost again. Callie…I don't want to be dead anymore. I want to figure out how to live!"

I fall into her arms and she lets me. I think I am sobbing alone, until I feel Callie shudder. It's then that I realize we are both grieving, together. We haven't done this…not really. Once, in the shower we were close to this sort of catharsis. But now it feels as if a dam has burst in our home. We spend the better part of an hour just holding on to each other and on to what is left of our sanity, until we can't summon up any more tears. Then…silence. After a few minutes, a thought hits me.

"I miss my god damn heelies…"

A small chuckle comes from my wife. Then another…and another. Until she is actually laughing. Now that I think about it, it is pretty funny. I start laughing along with her.

"I mean it, Calliope! Do you know how slow I get around the ward now? I am not even cool to the kids anymore. I want to figure out how to use my heelies again. That is one of my goals."

Still laughing, Callie wipes her eyes and looks as me. "Ok. I am really sorry about your heelies… I know you two were close." I laugh with her again…and it feels really good. "That is a good goal. What is another one? A pogo stick?"

I laugh, but then seriously respond. "No…to get better for you. I made an appointment with a therapist who specializes in PTSD. I should have done it months ago, but I am doing it now. For me…for Sophia and for you, Calliope. I want to be alive again. I can only be alive with you."

She reaches out and touches my face. I instantly know the difference from the brief interlude this afternoon in my office…love. Callie loves me. "Callie, I only want you. I am yours…I always have been. I cannot change what I did, but I ask for your forgiveness. I want to earn it...deserve it."

She leans in and kisses me. Gently. Then in an instant it turns passionate. "You. Are. Mine. Arizona. No one else can touch you…do you understand, me? No one!" She kisses me and bites my neck beginning to take my shirt off.

"Yes, Callie. No one…ever…ever." We strip each other and mindlessly love each other right there in our living room. We never do this with Sophia at home. But tonight, there is no option. The need is truly desperate between us. Like nothing I've ever felt. And there it is…my heart is racing, my mind is spinning, the fire is in my gut, and my core is raging. Desire. Lust. Love. Life.

Later, we lay in our bed. I'm just holding Callie. I know she isn't asleep, but I don't want to disturb her or this peace. Quietly, I ask, "Calliope. I don't deserve it yet, but can you forgive me…for today, for the last months of hell, for…well, for all my sins."

"Yes, Arizona. I can forgive you. I do forgive you." She strokes my arm that surrounds her waist for a few moments. "Are we finally back on the road to 'us', do you think?"

"Finally, finally…I think we've found the way home, Cal…together."