A/N - Hello everyone, how are you all doing today? Anyways, today I decided to write a quick chapter to a new story I'll be writing when I hit a stump on Kitsune Sanctuary. I always run into a problem where I have ideas for random scenes that are either funny, awesome, or sad. However, I don't feel like writing an entire story just to get to said scene. That's where this story come in, it will be full of scene ideas that I might one day turn into a story. I can't stress the word might any more.

This story will most likely be updated far more often then Kitsune Sanctuary. The only thing I can hope is that you get some laughs out of this while waiting for my main story to update.

In other news, I plan on rewriting Mistakes Happen as well because it's an eyesore.

Anyways, on with the show!

When the writing is like this, then that means you are not in a scene.

When the writing is like this, then that means you are seeing a scene.

Thoughts are inverted depending if in a scene or not.

I do not own Naruto.

I do own my OCs though...

Enjoy the story!

Update - 7/2/2018

Fixed grammatical errors and switched the scenes to bold to make it easier for the readers.

Naruto's eyes shot open faster than the speed of light. He searched through his memories, the last thing he remembered was using a suicide sealing technique that would take Kaguya Otsutsuki with him. If he is remembering things correctly, that would most definitely mean he is no longer in the world of the living. For some reason he expected death to feel different, instead he is rather comfortable. It felt like he is laying on a fluffy cloud.

Deciding to examine his afterlife, he looked down and noted that he is laying on an exquisite looking white couch. Two fluffy black pillows rest at each corner, one that he just happened to be laying on top of and enjoying immensely. Seriously, he would almost be content with just owning these pillows.

Snapping out of his soft pillow daze, he decided to look around the room he found himself in. It is massive compared to his apartment. It is like comparing a broom closet to a master bedroom. He didn't know how he felt about that bit of knowledge.

Sleek wooden flooring reflected the iridescent lights that shined from the light fixtures in the room. The walls are a pearl white with few framed pictures of varying landscapes hung up. A black coffee table rested in front of the white couch with an extremely advanced television in front of that. The television rested on top of a black stand with electronics he didn't recognize. The only thing he knew is like the television, they are heavily advanced.

Large glass windows that went from the floor to the roof looked over a beautiful futuristic city. Buildings that climbed their way to the heavens are glowing brightly with lights. It is reminiscent to the towers you could find in Amegakure. The pitch-black sky showed a full moon, but he couldn't see the stars that usually twinkled like he normally could. He didn't recognize the area at all though, which confused him.

"Nice place, right?" a feminine voice asked lightly beside him.

Naruto jumped to his feet in surprise, he didn't even sense whoever said that. Putting himself on guard, he got into a fighting stance as he eyed the girl warily deciding how big of a threat she is. She has long flowing blond hair that went down to her waist, and a child-like face. Her large round sky-blue eyes looked up into his own sapphire eyes. She has a petite frame and a small chest that matched her figure. She wore a white long-sleeve t-shirt that hugged her body, and skin tight jet-black pants. If he must guess, she looked around fourteen and not much of a threat but looked are deceiving.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked answering her question with his own. He is usually very kind, but he has just come from a warzone where he sacrificed his own life to save everyone. Plus, waking up in a weird room surrounded by strange stuff with terrifyingly tall buildings in an unknown place is scary. So, you could forgive him for being a little on edge.

She flashed him a small smirk, "It's only polite to introduce yourself first before asking another, isn't it?" the girl countered expertly.

His fighting stance faltered for a second, taken off guard by the unexpected redirect. "Naruto Uzumaki, and you?" he responded.

The small girl sent him a serene smile, "Kami, pleasure to meet you Naruto Uzumaki." The newly founded Kami replied mirthfully. She was already fully aware of who he is, but the blond is being rather rude. Not to mention she wanted to mess with him a little.

That is not what he expected when he asked for her name. This is just his luck, of course he wakes up beside Kami! She is literally a goddess that rules over everything, and he just decided to be rude to the loli! At least this helps confirm the question if he is dead or not. 'Dear Kami, please help me…' he thought with a tired sigh.

"Help you with what?" Kami questioned with another child-like smile.

"Huh?" Naruto responded dumbly.

"You just asked me to help you, what do you need help with?" she asked innocently, but the look in her sky-blue eyes danced with amusement. He knew that look all to well, the look of someone messing with you. It is the look he gave people when he is up to something fun. Worse, it is also the look he gave people when he has a gorgeous prank planned. He decided he didn't like being on the opposite side of it.

"I'm just thinking over my luck on how I am dead and woke up besides, well, you." Naruto said in exasperation. This isn't how he planned his afterlife experience to go. He expected to wake up surrounded by his loving family and friends who are waiting on the other side. Instead, he got a loli-goddess which he believes has a prankster side in her.

"What, did you not want to see me?" she said with tears beginning to form in her eyes, giving him her most hurtful look she could muster. The problem is, she is a goddess with a child-like face, she only gave the best hurtful face. If one were to gaze into her expression, one would assume you just killed her puppy.

Naruto's eyed widened in panic at seeing the loli-goddess start to cry. "W-what!? N-no, I'm very happy to see you!" he immediately corrected himself. The last thing he wanted to do is get on the bad side of a goddess. That would not go over well for him. He didn't know what she could do to him, but it's probably isn't a good thing.

Kami's face did a complete one-eighty almost like she faked her previous hurt look. "Oh goody, I'm so glad." She commented with a bright smile.

At this point in time, Naruto's stance is completely forgotten from the surreal moment. His mind deduced that while she is extraordinarily powerful, she most likely isn't a threat to him. He mostly hoped that she isn't a threat. Sadly, knowing his luck, that is most likely not the case. Damn it, he is willing to gamble on those odds!

An awkward silence filled the room before Naruto decided to break it. "So… where am I?" Naruto questioned staring into her pretty blue eyes.

"In my living room." She answered simply.

"Oh…" he replied lamely. Another moment of awkwardness passed before he decided to ask another question. "Why am I in your living room?"

Kami put a hand to her chin like she is in deep thought before nodding her head in satisfaction. "I was bored and wanted company, plus I thought this would be fun." She replied truthfully. While she wouldn't tell him outright, she is one hundred percent messing with the blond. However, she is relatively sure he already picked up on that detail. It is true though that she is bored and did bring him here to have some fun. She just wanted to make things a little difficult for her fellow blond.

Naruto blinked at her response not sure how to react to that. "I see… what exactly did you want to do?" he asked warily.

"Ah, well, you see, you are what I like to call a 'main soul'. A main soul is when entire worlds literally revolve around you, your life is destined to be interesting. The beauty of this is your soul transcends timelines and lives multiple lives! Now, while your life has ended, your other lives are still going strong!" she commented excitedly, "So, we're going to sit down and watch some interesting moments together for the rest of eternity, or until I get bored. Which ever comes first." She answered casually with a simple wave of the hand.

Naruto sat back down on the unnaturally soft couch beside the small goddess thinking over everything she just told him. It's a little confusing being told that multiple worlds revolve around his life. Not only that, but he is still alive in other timelines. A large part of him felt like she is messing with him, but she is a goddess, he couldn't prove it. So, he did the only thing he could of, he accepted it.

"Okay, sounds like fun." He responded cheerfully. If what she said is true, he is curious to find out what his other lives are like. How different could they really be?

"You accepted that rather easily." Kami said while staring at him.

"In my life, I've learned to just accept things that are handed to you." He said honestly while nodding his head sagely.

She shrugged her shoulders turning towards the television. "Okay, well then, let's get started!" she chirped as she grabbed the remote and turned on the television. The screen lit up to the sight of a familiar forest, a very deadly forest that he had once been eaten by a giant snake it. Training ground forty-four, The Forest of Death.

Training Ground forty-four has an infamous name known as The Forest of Death. It is said to have been created by the first hokage, Hashirama Senju. The natural energy around the forest is so potent; inhabitants of the forest grew to incredible sizes with ferocious appetites. The training ground is used in training ANBU to survive in hostile environments, and sometimes for unlucky genin used for the survival portion of the chūnin exams.

This year it just happened to be hosting the chūnin exams where the goal is to collect either the scroll of heaven or earth from an opposing team. You could steal the scroll from them stealthily, fight them into submission or murder them. In this forest, anything went. The contestants knew what they were signing up for when they went in though, so the fault of death laid on their shoulders, and their shoulders only.

Team seven consisting on Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha are traveling the forest rather quickly trying to find another team to eliminate. Their goal is to be one of the first teams to make it out of the forest, or at least that is Sakura and Sasuke's goal. Naruto has other goals and objectives that are being accomplished just by being in the presence of the Uchiha.

The scene on the television gave a closeup to all the members of team seven, and while Sakura and Sasuke looked like what he remembered way back in the past. He, himself looked different, there wasn't a hint of orange in his clothes at all. This Naruto wore a jet-black sleeveless t-shirt that showed off his sun kissed shoulders. A light grey jonin styled vest overtop of it, dark grey ANBU styled pants with knee padding, and black armored shinobi sandals.

Naruto stared at his counterpart in confusion. "I look kind of cool, but where is the orange?" he thought out loud getting a deadpan expression from the goddess sitting beside him. Naruto just couldn't imagine himself without his trusty color by his side.

The goddess resting beside him like what this version of Naruto is wearing a lot better than the horrendous neon-orange jumpsuit he wore back then. It isn't like she has a problem with orange, she rather liked the color. The problem itself is the disgusting design of the jumpsuit the younger Naruto wore. "This version of you was raised differently, hence the change in fashion." She replied evenly.

Naruto nodded his head in understanding, but that still didn't explain one large detail. "That doesn't really explain the lack of orange." He said in a completely serious tone.

"Will it make you feel better if I told you that this Naruto still loves orange?" She asked.

"It would help, yes." He said coolly.

She noticed that he is looking at her expectantly. "He loves orange." Kami sighed.

"Good, at least he understands what the best color in the world is." Naruto stated.

"That's still you." Kami said looking at him like he was an idiot.

"That just proves my point." Naruto said in a mater-of-fact tone.

Kami decided not to reply and get back to watching the television. Her first conversation in centuries, and while she is enjoying the company, she is slightly regretting not choosing a smart Naruto. 'What's done is done I guess…' she thought.

A powerful gust of wind suddenly ripped through the trees almost throwing Naruto through the deadly forest. Luckily, he managed to stay sticking to the tree branch underneath him. He imagined it would have hurt a lot to be thrown through the forest so high up.

"What the hell was that?!" Sakura screamed out her question, already beginning to panic.

"A strong futon jutsu, stay on guard." Naruto said coolly.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, getting into a fighting stance.

"Stop trying to act so cool Naruto-baka! This is dangerous, stop trying to out show Sasuke-kun!" Sakura screeched loudly hurting her teammates ears, even stunning their soon to be attacker. The girl took bride in her lungs.

Naruto sighed heavily, regretting ever accepting this assignment. He needed a drink, and that is saying a lot because he didn't even drink. Hell, he couldn't even get drunk with his tenant washing out the poison faster then he could drink it.

"What's wrong with Sakura, she seems more…" Naruto said trailing off at the end.

"Bitchy?" Kami finished for him.

"Yeah, why is that?" Naruto questioned. His version of Sakura was a tad whiney in the past, but she was never so loud and bitchy. Yes, she would call him a baka, but that was just her thing.

"This Sakura never had you to be her punching bag in the academy, she became an even more die-hard fan of the Uchiha. You randomly popped up and out-classed him in everything making Sasuke upset. Sakura seeing this tries to berate you to appease her desires ego." Kami answered calmly, not taking her eyes off the television.

"I see…" Naruto said, turning back to the television.

An older woman stood in front of team seven, in the process of deepthroating a scroll that they just happened to need. Her tongue slithered out and lick her lips even managing the impressive feat of licking her nose. The disturbed faces of team seven didn't go unnoticed and managed to make the woman smirk.

"Sasuke-kun, I can do that too if you want." Sakura randomly blurted out.

The woman, Naruto, and Sasuke stared at her with what could be described as a 'what the fuck' face. In the middle of a life or death situation, she says something that not only managed to throw them off, but their enemy off. If only she managed to do that without friendly fire.

The woman coughed into her hand gathering the attention of the boys again, a little upset the pink-haired girl ruined her awesome creepy entrance she was going for. She would manage though, they were still disturbed with her scroll sucking. Not to mention her tongue touching her nose would impress them enough to realize how big of a threat she truly is. "Sasuke-kun, I've come for you." She said boldly.

"You bitch!" Sakura yelled, glaring absolute murder at this new whore. She worked her ass of stalking him, collecting things he discarded and even rubbing his face when he is sleeping soundly in his room. Then this new girl suddenly appears trying to take her prince charming, hell no!

"I, uh, appreciate the confession… but I'm not interested." The Uchiha said awkwardly, completely ignoring the cheers of victory from his pink haired teammate.

"I can give you the power you desire to kill Itachi-kun." The woman said seductively.

Naruto is watching this meeting go on and realized this is when his mission would matter. He would watch this very closely, as there might not be a full team seven soon. There might not be any team seven after this, this woman is suppressing her chakra. She has kage level reserves, whoever this is, is extraordinarily dangerous.

Sasuke's eyes lit up like he was just handed a puppy on Christmas morning. Power to kill that man, don't mind if I do! "What type of power are you talking about?" Sasuke asked cautiously. He may be power hungry, but he's not an idiot.

"Let me bite your neck, and I'll show you." The woman winked disturbing Naruto, angering Sakura, and confusing Sasuke. Yes, she would bite him and give him ultimate power, then he would come running to him in hopes of training. Then she would have his body all to herself! 'This is much easier then going after Itachi-kun!' The woman thought evilly.

"This fight is a lot more… disturbing then I remember." Naruto said warily. He wasn't completely sure, but he felt like there is a sexual undertone hidden throughout the dialogue.

"It's pretty funny though." Kami was stifling a chuckle with her right hand. The disturbed face and innuendos in this battle are perfect! Who would have guessed a fight could be so vocal?

"If anyone's biting his neck, it's going to be me you whore!" Sakura screeched, losing herself in righteous anger. She charged head first at the woman who just raised an eyebrow. To Sakura, all who problems in life could be solved with a mean right hook. It has yet to fail her, so it should get her through her entire life.

Just as Sakura was about to nail the woman in the face with her fist, she is literally bitched slapped sending her flying into a tree. Sadly, a very sharp branch happened to be in her route and impaled her going straight through her stomach. She started screaming in pain and coughing up impressive amounts of blood before she died of shock. Let the world know, this version of Sakura Haruno died via bitch slap.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto screamed at the television, eyes full of horror. He might not have known this version of Sakura, or liked her, but it is still Sakura! Watching her die in such a gruesome way is horrifying.

"If it makes you feel better, she planned on poisoning your ramen after the exams to make the Uchiha feel better." Kami said, shrugging her shoulders at the pink haired girl's death. She has only ever liked her in a few timelines, but for some reason it is in her very existence to be an annoying bitch until she is in her late teens. Sometimes, she would get even worse in those time periods which is just impressive if not annoying.

That stopped Naruto from feeling bad right on the spot. It is one thing to poison him, beat him up, even mortally wound him, but it is a whole different issue to defile the food of the gods! Ramen is pure and deserved nothing less than to be eaten and savored with respect. "Why would she hurt the ramen…" he said sadly, truly not understanding what could compel someone to do something some cruel.

Kami started sweating slightly, she had just told him she planned on murdering him in cold blood and he is worried about ramen. 'I think he put's ramen on a higher pedestal then myself…' she thought blankly.

The woman blinked at the pink-haired girl's pathetic death. She didn't even hit her that hard and she managed to find a way to die. While impressive, was not her original goal. 'Now how is Sasuke-kun supposed to pass the exam!?' she thought, raddling ideas around her head.

Naruto and Sasuke are both staring blankly at their teammates death. The smartest girl in the academy had managed to charge an enemy who is clearly far superior to them and die via back-hand into a tree branch. If they survived this encounter, they would say she died an honorable death. Mostly because this is embarrassing for them.

"Sasuke-kun, you've already failed the exams. Come with me, and I'll give you power that will rival kages!" She shouted like she was selling product. Luckily for her, when dealing with Sasuke, you could sell him a broken pen if you mentioned power.

Sasuke thought very hard about this offer, the woman is clearly strong and offering free power. The cons are, he would become a missing-nin, tarnish the Uchiha name even more, and leave his rival. However, the pros are power that would kill Itachi. The choice is obvious, he isn't getting the power he needed here so why not find it somewhere else! "I accept your proposal, anything to kill him!" Sasuke said emphasized 'him'.

Naruto's eyes narrowed, and his hand slowly went for a kunai in his pouch. It looks like team seven is officially disbanded. His mission was to watch over Sasuke Uchiha who is labeled a flight-risk and eliminate if he were to become a traitor. Much to his dismay, it appears the Uchiha clan is about to be down one more member.

The woman's neck stretched out disturbingly and charged at Sasuke's neck. She bit down hard causing a light moan of pleasure and pain to leave Sasuke's lips. Her neck retracted back to her body, and she licked the blood from her lips. The Uchiha's neck is now adorned with a seal that immediately started causing pain to the holder.

Just before Sasuke passed out a kunai lodged itself in Sasuke's head. His body went limp and hit the large wooden branch with a loud 'thump'. Sasuke Uchiha died alongside his one-sided lover.

The woman blinked in shock. Sakura's dead eyes blinked with horror, the victim's eyes blinked because he is dead. Naruto is looking at the body of his dead teammate, then turned his attention to the woman who is just gazing off into space. He didn't understand why that is so shocking, he literally said he is becoming a traitor in front of him. Did they think he is just going to let that happen?

"You killed Sasuke-kun…" The woman mumbled not expecting this outcome.

"Yes." Naruto said blandly, apparently, she did believe that.

"I killed Sasuke…" Naruto mumbled in shock. He would admit, Sasuke and him have their differences. He didn't think he had it in him to kill his best friend though.

"Yes, yes you did." Kami nodded her head sagely. She would admit it was a bit of dark humor, but the suddenness of it is hilarious. With that death alone, he somehow managed to screw up so many future enemy plans. Though, looking at Naruto's grief-stricken face maybe she should have started with something lighter. She did something to cheer the fellow blond up by summoning a steaming hot bowl of miso pork ramen in front of him.

Naruto's nose twitched signaling him to the smell of heaven. A fresh steaming bowl of hot miso pork ramen appeared in front of him, sitting majestically on the coffee table. A blessing from the ramen gods perhaps? Is this their way to make him feel better for watching his two friends die in front of him? 'Thank you, ramen gods…' Naruto prayed to his ramen gods, which did not go unheard by Kami whose eye is twitching.

"You're welcome Naruto." The miso broth bubbled majestically.

Naruto gained stars in his eyes, they are real! Kami's eyes on the other hand opened in shock, they are real!? There is a god of death, a god of darkness, and a god of light. Somehow down the line, enough people worshipped ramen to create a god. To make matters worse, the god just claimed credit for her kind deed!

The blonde boy slurped down his ramen which calmed his nerves. The sadness from his two teammates deaths vanished since he realized they aren't his Sasuke and Sakura. They are that Naruto's Sasuke and Sakura. He lost nothing, and that is just fine with him.

The woman stared at Sasuke's dead body that is slowly leaking his crimson life essence. All her plans, all her dreams, were ended by a blond and a kunai. She thought about this for a second, Minato Namikaze stole the hokage position from him with a kunai as well, and he was also blond. She eyed Naruto warily, perhaps blonds are bad luck?

While the mysteriously perverted woman is having her self-monologue, Naruto replaced himself and his teammates with shadow clones. He has no reason to stay in this damn forest any longer now that his mission is complete. They lost an asset, the Uchiha clan is no longer present in Konoha. Hopefully the enemies of Konoha wouldn't see this as a sign of weakness.

He soon reached the exit of the forest. This is caught on camera, immediately disqualifying him for the exams. Luckily for this blond, he is already higher than a chūnin. No one else knew that, but they soon would.

The television flashed to black signaling the end of the scene. It was one of the shorter scenes, but it was interesting enough. She had already seen that one before, but she wanted to ween Naruto into them. She would admit to choosing a rather dark humor scene, maybe Yami was rubbing off on her?

"So, what did you think?" Kami asked Naruto.

"It was different then I remember for sure. I was blown away by that gust of wind last time and ate by a giant snake." Naruto said shivering in disgust, "When I managed to get back to Sasuke-teme and Sakura-chan, they were both pretty beaten up. Orchi-teme fought a little more with us before knocking me out, then sometime down the line he gave the curse hickey to Sasuke-teme.

"This fight was more vocal then I remember… Not to mention more disturbing with Orchi-teme trying to seduce him. I am sad to see Sakura-chan be, well, like that. It felt shameful, like she was disgracing her own memory." Naruto commented dryly.

"Funny enough, that was actually one of her tamer versions." She chuckled.

"Seriously?" Naruto asked, shocked. He couldn't see how you could get worse than that.

"Oh yeah, there is a version of her where she is a yandere for you and starts killing all your friends for your love." She shrugged.

"Yandere Sakura? That's… that's actually really scary to think about." Naruto shivered.

"Indeed." Kami agreed.

"Any weird versions of myself?" Naruto questioned curiously.

"Oh yes, for example, there is a version of you that is a perverted bounty hunter that goes by the name Senju." She giggled when his face lit up in horror. She understood why; one of his greatest fears is turning into a pervert like both his sensei, and his master. His pure heart just couldn't grasp the idea of him being a pervert.

"Oh…" he said with a heavy sigh.

"Oh, don't feel bad, you're actually quite the ladies man." Kami said with a smirk, amusement was written all over her face.

"I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or not…" Naruto said dryly.

"Ready for the next scene?" Kami asked, deciding to get back on with the show.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Naruto replied.

The television flashed on, and the next scene began.

A/N - I really hope you got a laugh out of it. That's honestly the whole point of the story. If you have any funny ideas let me know, so if and when I finally run out of ideas I can get inspiration from yours!

Chapter 3 of Kitsune Sanctuary is close to completion, but it's still got a lot of work left.